Marrying a Dominican in the DR: tourist visa or fiance visa?

Warning:  this post contains some sarcasm as well as disgruntled attitude.  Please take it with a grain of salt.  I really am trying to ask serious questions but am quite frustrated.

For the past 6 months or so, I've been trying to decipher all the "how to get married in the DR" posts, and there's always that one thing niggling at my brain:  all the foreigners getting married are still living in their home countries and are not residents in the DR, so everything they're doing is based/started out of their home country.  Even the listing of fees in a post here does not include "one is a foreigner with residency."

Quote

Celebration of marriages at the Civil Registry Office “Oficialia Civil”:

Both the bride and groom are foreigners not residents of the Dominican Republic - RD $20,000.00

One is a foreigner not resident of the Dominican Republic - RD $10,000.00

Both the bride and groom are foreigners residents of the Dominican Republic - RD $3,000.00

End quote

The problem is not about how much it'll cost... the problem is that there seems to be no info about one being a 'foreigner resident' while the other is a Dominican national... in most of the stuff I'm finding.  And I see talk about going to "the consulate in your home country", or doing things in the home country, and so on.  I could never be 100% sure about anything simply because it always felt like my situation was maybe a little different.  I'm not in my home country - I'm in the DR.

And for anyone wondering why this is important to me?  I'm not trying to act like I'm special or anything.  I'm simply a military gal.  I like things written plain and clear so there is no room for misunderstanding or confusion, no questions, no doubts, exact in black and white print.  We're talking about marriage here, and not just marriage... we're talking marriage to a foreign national in a foreign country - this is important stuff to get right.

SO.... I hired a lawyer.  You see, I'm a foreigner WITH residency (pensioners visa), and I've been living full time in the DR for over a year now, having made only one trip back to the US to visit family.  I met a guy here (Dominican), things clicked, we've been dating for over a year and now living together, and now we want to marry and take some trips to the US... maybe live there for a while.

My lawyer has given me some info, but I still have questions and thought I'd come here for a second opinion, more clarity, and/or maybe just to vent, because I feel like it shouldn't be this complicated.  Or maybe I'm making it more complicated than what it really is... I don't know.  I keep thinking that there MUST be at least one person out there who is like me, in this same situation.

- For the marriage:  my lawyer says I need to have my birth certificate and apostille.  But, I'm a resident.  The Immigration office in Santo Domingo already has my birth certificate with apostille.  My Residency card and cedula are proof of that.  Does my Residency card not count for anything?  I mean, if I have my residency card and cedula, then OBVIOUSLY, someone (in a high position of authority) in this country already has my apostilled birth certificate.  Or is it that ANY foreigner, regardless of residency status, must provide a birth cert?  Is that it?  Or maybe the birth cert contains some necessary info that is not on the cedula or residency ID?  Can't understand why my residency card or cedula can't be used in lieu of... This was going to require a special trip to the US just for this purpose, but as it turns out, my sister can get it for me.  Still....

-Fiance visa:  For the fiance visa, the lawyer said I need to be living in the US and visiting the DR, that my passport needs to show frequent activity back and forth.  OK, I kind of get that for the fiance visa, but seriously... can I not be living in the DR and want to apply for the fiance visa, then we go there to get married?  I'm still a US citizen.  I could go to the US to start the process, but do I actually need to be physically located there for the majority of my time, and my passport showing a lot of activity?

-Tourist visa:  Get married in the DR and apply for his tourist visa, converting to resident later.  This started out as probably the best option, but now the lawyer is saying I still need to be living in the US and visiting the DR.  The same as the fiance visa.   

-EDIT:  I deleted some stuff here that was general complaining about how I'm required to treat him like he's my sanky by "sending money" and otherwise showing how I'm financially supporting him, but I can't use the fact that he's living with me as proof of support.

My fiance, bless his heart, is trying to help by talking to other foreigners or Dominicans who have married and gone to the US, but it's all the same story:  the American is living permanently in the US and only visiting the DR; they're starting the process from the US, doing things in the US, not here.  It's like there never has been, and never possibly will be, a US citizen living permanently in the DR as a legal resident who meets a Dominican, has a serious relationship, wants to marry, and take him/her to the US.  We can't be living here full time and have a relationship; can only visit and must "send money."

The fact that my residency card and status seems to have no value bothers me.  I feel like I spent a lot of money to get my residency when it seems to serve no purpose except to avoid paying the exit fee at the airport.  It doesn't seem to have value for anything else.  Oh... it does allow me to be on my moral high horse by saying I'm here legally. 🙄 And it allowed me to get a cedula... but as a foreigner, I could just use my passport for everything, so I didn't really need the cedula.  I mean, I've opened bank accounts, I bought a car, rented apartments.... no one asked for my cedula... they asked for my passport.  When I produce a cedula, they're surprised. "Oh!  OK, that'll work."  And I can get a driver's license.  There's that.  (yep, a bit disgruntled about this one, but I have my moral high horse to help console me.)

And I'm really confused about my having to prove I'm living in the US and only visiting the DR when I'm actually living in the DR as a legal resident (regarding the tourist or fiance visa).  My passport is actually supposed to show travel to and from the US, with the majority of my time being in the US.  That's what the lawyer says.  I mean, shouldn't it be easier for him to get his visa because I'm living here, we're seeing each other every day, living together year round, as opposed to occasional visits?  I'm talking about that part of the process where you have to provide evidence of the relationship, that it's a real relationship and not just for convenience.  This should make things easier, right?  Am I missing something?  Is my lawyer missing something?  Do I need to hire a US lawyer, too?

So, is there anyone else out there who is in this same situation that can provide any clarity on the above?  I mean, a US citizen, living permanently in the DR with legal residency, wanting to marry a Dominican and take him/her to the US.  Do I actually need to move back to the US, away from my fiance, just so I can eventually take him there?  This really makes no sense to me at all.  How does that help "provide evidence of the relationship"?  Is there another type of visa that fits this situation?  One for the "I married a foreigner while living in another country and want to take him to the US" people.

Sorry for rambling on, but I'm just wondering if I simply don't understand things or if I need a new lawyer.