I'm surprised there's not a single topic on dating in Ecuador

samgeets wrote:

LOL...I have been told by some that have had more experience than me, that Ecuadorian women are the most sensuous women they have been with in their lives...and some of these guys have really been around the world...so, go figure!

I live with an Ecuadorian family. This morning, when I came down for breakfast, I had my iPad with me and saw your comment. I couldn't resist, and read it to the mother of the family. She made me laugh, saying, "Of course, but it is too bad Ecuadorian men don't appreciate that." It is true that Ecuadorian men just don't respect their women (that's what she meant), and that is the irony. But, men are most certainly captivated by the sensuous nature of their women because they are notorious for philandering. (No, I don't mean it is the women's fault). The interesting part is, this being a good catholic culture, the women are incredibly forgiving and will go to great lengths to keep a marriage together. This is done with amazing good will and generosity towards the men. I don't know how they do it.

I think the sensuous nature of the women here is more a reflection of their own kindness. In Spanish, the word that is used is bondadoso, which is goodness and generosity in a person that arrises from the purity of the heart, but often simply translated as "kind." This kindness is accompanied by an attention that is not common for woman in other cultures. Men certainly do not go for the want of attention or support, even when they really aren't deserving. Who is not flattered or charmed by such intense attention.

One thing one should understand if they are not familiar with this culture is that personal interaction is much more intimate here than one may be used to. For example, requirements for personal space can be alarmingly close for North American tastes. If a women stands very close to you and even touches you while talking, that is not an invitation for intimacy; it is just the norm. It does, however, mean that she like you. Just be careful how much interpretation you put on that.

Lastly, to counter a point that some have made previously and does, sadly, continue to annoy me. Generally speaking, women here are not gold diggers (although some may be). People here have evolved far from believing that money has to do with anything other than its utilitarian value. This culture fully understands that happiness is found in the sharing of basic human values within a family and close gathering of friends. If someone in that grouping is without, the whole group will come together to provide what is missing. This is hard to understood until you experience it. But, once you do experience it, you may want to go out and purchase a "I love Ecuadorians" button.

Joseph K wrote:

Lastly, having a baby our of wedlock is not common.

Here in Quito, the city buses are now plastered with ads letting everyone know that 20% of teenagers in Ecuador are already parents. I doubt very many of those kids are married.

Joseph K wrote:

I should say that my impessions are largely related to my experience in Loja (or Zaruma). I can imagine things might be quite different in the Capital. Thanks for pointing that out.

My impression is that the stats are country wide, not specific to Quito.

Speaking to locals, at least those that are willing to talk about such a topic, I am told that until very recently, out of wedlock pregnancies are kept very hush hush. Everyone knows about it, but no one talks about it.

It's the government that is trying to get things out into the open.

defuera wrote:

Short version: 2,080 girls between the ages of 10 and 14 are mothers (1% of niñas in those age groups). 705,163 teenagers between 15 and 19 are mothers, 17.2% of that age group. The numbers are from the 2010 census.

Thanks, that information was fascinating to me. As I explained, I have a very limited view here in Loja. What interested me most was the troubling information on sexual violence and abuse and teen mortality in pregnancy. Given the positive families attitudes towards children and the level of education here in Loja, I really would not have expected the abuse levels (even if they are more likely in other provinces). On the other hand, the areas where the problems (overall) were greatest, did not seem that surprising.

Regardless of my views, I can still appreciate how facts dispel any illusions around imagined perspective. Again, thanks.

GringoBueno wrote:

Assuming you're not directing him to a playground or a brothel, you're not doing any harm to anyone.

Your posts (and your chosen name) indicate that you're very concerned about showing respect for the local culture, but you're not doing so here. What's your objection to brothels? They're legal in Ecuador, and therefore part of the culture you are embracing.

I believe they're called 'chongos' locally.

Latinabae.x wrote:

I was born & raised in London....you can't just go straight to dating you have to become really close like her personal Bestie.

So you really believe that a male Expat would have the language skills and cultural understanding to become an Ecuadoriana's "personal Bestie"...just askin'...