Hello all,
Well, in the first place EXPAT-BLOG IS NOT A DATING SITE, so you shouldn't be using it to meet people and make personal relationships anyway. There are plenty of websites all over the world for that purpose. This is just not one of them.
That said, it amazes me just how many people throw all caution to the wind when it comes to their online activities, social networks and the amount of sensitive personal information the put out on the internet (all of which remains out there FOREVER once you post it). If you don't believe me on this point then try this simple experiment... Type your complete name into GOOGLE, and see exactly what comes back. In most cases it will scare you stiff.
Face-to-face meetings with people you only know online is highly risky business whether it's in the UAE or in the USA. If truth be known it's probably riskier in the USA, but that's a whole other story! Why then do so many people simply not use their head when it comes to the internet?
Things to consider about your online habits
You should NEVER post any private / personal / identifying information anywhere on the internet; especially not in any of the social networks. That is an open invitation for trouble - identity theft, scams, sexual harassment, becoming the victim of crime, etc. This means never post in public things like your complete name, telephone number (not even cellular phone number), e-mail address, residential address or even the neighborhood where you live, name of your workplace/school, accounts on other social media, etc. There are thousands of people out there that are going to use that kind of information for illicit purposes. This is the kind of information that you should only share in our private message system; and then ONLY with people you've gotten to know through forum postings and PMs over a prolonged period of time. Even then you should exercise extreme caution regarding exactly who you share this information with.
Understand that the anonymity of the internet means that the people you are talking to are not always what they seem to be, not who or what they say they are!!! If you simply accept on blind faith everything that somebody tells you online then the internet is not the place for you. You aren't mature enough or responsible enough to use it safely. Stay away - for your own safety. There are people out there who have numerous online alter-egos in order to victimize people in one way or another. You can't simply trust anybody.
Face-to-face meetings with online acquaintances, you will notice that I use the word "acquaintances", that's because nobody is your "friend" until you have met them in person, know who they really are and then decide to make them a friend. Don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise, no matter how bored, lonely or homesick you may be in your host country. So, some rules to follow when arranging face-to-face meetings:
1. For obvious reasons of personal security first meetings should ALWAYS take place in a public place where there are lots of people around. (Shopping malls, coffee shops, public parks, recreation centers, etc.)
2. You should ALWAYS be the one to choose the location for the meeting, and you should not give too much advanced notice of where that will be. Again safety is the major concern, you don't want to give somebody a lot of time to set anything up if they're plotting something. Example: Your online acquaintance suggest a meeting, you agree and arrange a suitable time, but tell the person you have a very hectic schedule so you'll have to get back to them and confirm the location that YOU choose for the meeting a few hours before it is supposed to take place. If they object to this in any way then just don't meet them at all, you're far better off not risking it. NO EXCEPTIONS
3. NEVER meet anyone unless you've told someone reliable and trustworthy, where, when and who you are meeting, what time they should expect you to return; and then check back in with them when you actually do return. Better still if you can arrange that first meeting to take place in the company of somebody you know and trust.
4. First meetings should never take place at a restaurant or bar (anything that might be construed as a date) and ALWAY pay your own way, don't let the other person offer to pay for anything. That in their mind obligates you to something. Never drink anything that they offer you on a first meeting NEVER. If you are in a coffee shop, food court in the mall, etc., never leave YOUR food or beverage out of your sight for one moment. If you have done so, then throw it out; don't consume any more of it since you have know way of knowing that it has not been tampered with.
5. No matter how well the first meeting has gone, or even the first several meetings, NEVER get into the person's vehicle or put yourself in a position of isolation with only that person. That may be the last thing you ever do in this life.
6. Evaluate your choice of friends over a prolonged period of time, months - not just days!!! People can put on a false front only for so long. Be alert for any changes in behavior, habits, and any contradictions in what and who they say they are.
It's no sin to be lonely, bored or have nothing to do!!! Don't let yourself become so desperate for a friendship or relationship that you risk your personal safety. That's the bottom line!
Cheers,
James
Expat-blog Experts Team
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