Women and Rape in the UAE

(The link is currently under review but it's a USA Today article from 7/18/13 on the recent conviction of a Dutch woman who reported being raped and was sentenced to jail for illicit sex. I know the topic is a loaded but I think is important for the obvious reasons.)

The title is too scary

Actually there is no need for rape in Dubai as everything is available

The title is creepy

Actually there is no need for rape in Dubai as everything is available

Alex,

There is absolutely no worries on such topics for expats here in UAE.
The generic "common sense" for women on to dos and not, applly to this place as well. I'd rather say the bar is a bit lower and you would be surprised over the free and wonderful life Americans (or any other Westerner for that matter) enjoy over here.
I'm saying this, keeping in mind the Paranoia I judge out of you. Dubai, especially, is a wonderful international city and such rare instances sure do have certain facts curtained; which we do not know of and start judging.

Welcome to the Emirates.

Cheers, Sam

Hello:

Where will you be going? Abu Dhabi or Dubai? And what work are you pursuing? I will be leaving for Abu Dhabi in a few weeks to teach English and have been assured through many channels that women are quite safe there... But as one comment stated- Common sense goes a long way anywhere you live.

Contact me if you want to talk.
Barbara

Im pilot in Etihad Airways and i travel every where and i never sow any safe country like UAE, its the best place ever , wish u all the best

hi

Hi Alex:

I have traveled to the UAE may times as a Flight Attendant and have always felt warm and welcome.  I do safeguard my personal safety in ANY country.  My friend was dining with 2 pilots at a local establishment in London and a group of brazen thieves ran in and grabbed her purse from the table before anyone could react.  Bad things can and do happen anywhere!  I was not able to access the article but let me say the police in the UAE like things that generally happen behind close doors to stay that way.  The crime of rape is considered so heinous that at least 2 people (other than the rapist) have to be willing to step up and declare themselves witnesses before it can be prosecutable.  It is the most underreported crime in the US as well. I believe what some of the gentlemen who have responded to your question meant to say is that sex in the UAE is readily available so a man would have no need to commit such a violent crime that carries the death penalty.  However, the crime of rape is about power and control and has little to do sex most of the time. The whole he said she said and blame the victim is alive and well.  From their POV if a woman were really traumatized by rape she'd more likely want to die and would be more likely to try to off herself than admit in a public forum that she'd not been careful about preserving her/the families honor. A muslim cleric was once interviewed about the whole honor killing thing and he explained that in his experience  every women he'd ever interviewed about a possible rape came wanting & begging to die (the women claimed that they couldn't live with the shame). Most rape victims regardless of country feel that way. (PTSD) In our country women have learned that time heals & life goes on. Since suicide is sin they were just doing the poor woman a favor & sparing her eternal damnation. Nowadays, a woman would more likely be treated to an all expenses paid trip 2 a mental hospital.  It would be assumed that the woman was crying rape because she was caught with her knickers down or was pregnant out of wedlock, or perhaps trying to extort money from a wealthy man etc...these involve cultural differences & women are just as likely to blame the victim especially if she is poor ( a maid or nanny or someone from another station in life) u get the gist. This is why u r reading things like "there r 2 sides 2 every story" etc .. Violent crimes r very low in the UAE comparatively speaking. I am not making a judgement. People in any society have a desire 2 be/feel safe. Public safety fosters governmental stability regardless of where one lives.  The best way to avoid being a victim of any crime regardless of location is to avoid making oneself a target.  I follow the people,places, and things rule when I travel.  I don't meet people I don't know (especially men) alone. I meet new people during the day in a public place. Ideally somewhere with security cameras. I don't travel to unfamiliar parts of a city alone especially at night. If I do go out alone I leave a written copy of my itinerary and expected time of return in a conspicuous place or with a trusted friend that way if I miss an appointment or am late people know to begin trying to track me down. I don't wear anything or carry anything that screams rich tourist.  One of the best things about the UAE is that it is so multi-cultural very little except perhaps wearing too few clothes in public screams newcomer or tourist. This does not mean u have to wear the hijab!  Avoid shorts more than and inch or 2 above the knee in public (instead think Bermuda shorts) likewise, substitute those tank tops for short or cap sleeves,  cami tops, short skirts or dresses, or clothes that r too form fitting will call undo attention 2 you and may get u Red Carded at the mall.  The red card is a card given to u if mall security believe u to be pushing the limits where public decency r concerned.  What you wear at home is a completely different story hence the many shops that sell the latest fashion where skimpy is concerned.  U will see 2 piece swim ware on beaches frequented by westerners and hotel night clubs r another place where folks push the envelope.  B smart and u will have the time of your life.  You are an attractive lady and will most likely be sought after, don't forget middle eastern men have seen western movies too and they know how 2 woo the ladies (say all the right things, do all the right things, etc) I say this because a friend of mine met and married a man who underwent a huge shift in personality before the ink was dry on the green card.  Sorry, I appear 2 be rambling.  I have always had great experiences in the Middle East but I went with my eyes wide open.  As I said I found the UAE a warm and welcoming place.  I focus on finding common ground learning about new cultures fun and exciting.

Hi all,

Thanks for the responses. I agree that common sense safety measures will go a long way in avoiding situations like rape, assault, etc. Traveling in groups of people (esp at night), complying with local standards of dress & decency, and being vigilant of surroundings are important tips for everyone to keep in mind. And I agree that rape can happen anywhere in the world, not just the UAE.

What concerns me most, however, is the official attitude taken toward women who report rape. In order to be convicted of rape, federal law requires either a confession or 4 male witnesses. Clearly skewed against women's ability to defend themselves legally, this law has generated concern from even Human Rights Watch, with members of this group noting that "when it comes to seeking justice for sexual violence, women in the UAE still face formidable and often insurmountable barriers."

By the way, the article I initially linked, indicative of the above concerns, is no longer working. But it turns out that Dubai cleared the woman of the extramarital sex charges, and also cleared the rapist of his charges. I'm guessing this was to avoid an international PR scandal, but this isn't the first time we've heard of women reporting rape and being penalized because of the obstacles required for a rape conviction.

It's encouraging to hear that so many people have had really positive and safe experiences in the UAE, and I'm sure these cases of rape are in the minority, but the consequences are so severe that I guess I was hoping to hear more about this less-glamorous aspect of the country.

Alex

The law about 4 male witnesses for a rape is totally weird and absurd, and does not seem to bear logic.  How can there be witnesses to a rape who cannot do anything but just watch?  In any case, bottom line is simple common sense, and avoid straying from following basic rules of life.  At least, do not get overly drunk.

The whole idea of witnesses came from the place of "well if we r going t put a man to death for raping a woman we'd better be sure so we should have witnesses" sounds good in theory in reality though not so much. A convicted rapist in Afghanistan was buried alive after his hands were bound and he was tossed by the village elders on top of the dead body of his victim.  Not a good way to die  but 4 witnesses stepped up so in the minds of the mullas the system works.  I am with u.  Women in the UAE and other Northern African and Middle Eastern countries are re victimized in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.  I don't know if anyone directed u to the US State Department's website so that you can register with the STEP program.  There are also great travel tips for women that r country specific  as well as tips for avoiding online scams etc.  You can register with your local Embassy or Consulate and find out if they have any ex-pat activities planned.  One of their functions is to "build bridges between nations by promoting cross cultural understanding" so they host events.It is a good way to network and meet people.  Also christian churches of various denominations do meet regularly so might I suggest that even if you don't attend church in the states that u find a local branch.  Most churches meet on Friday to conform with the muslim sabbath.  They r hard to find because they're usually no signs, crosses, etc and r most often located in residential areas.  My church met in a rented villa in Dubai that could've been anyone's house!  Once u get the address find a cab driver with a GPS and u r good to go.  Speaking of cabs if u do find yourself alone in a cab do not sit in the front seat and avoid the kind of small talk we frequently engage in as it may be interpreted by the driver as a come on.  When in cabs with other friends chat away.  We soaked up all kinds of local flavor thanks to  thanks to our drivers. Unlike in the US tipping cab drivers is not standard practice. The same with in restaurants.  If u do want to tip do not leave the money on the table likewise don't tell the waitstaff to keep the change because the owner will demand and keep the extra funds u just provided. Hand the extra tip to the waiter directly. If I see anyone that looks like the business owner or manager around I say very specifically "this is 4 you with my thanks"  We have tipped drivers but usually I'll hand him the fare on the meter, wait for change & then tip.  We had one fellow who had graciously shlepped a ton of luggage for us and my traveling companion found out though small talk that he was working as a cabbie to save money for his wedding ( in the middle east its the grooms family that picks up the tab and pays the dowery) so we handed him a few bucks and said thank you this is for your wedding.  He was very appreciative.  You r correct there r less glamorous aspects of the society.  Maids and construction workers r frequently exploited.  It is against the law for an employer to confiscate an employee's passport  in the UAE but they frequently do. They also withhold wages, tear up contracts etc.  It is best to keep several copies of an employment contract in a safe place. I work for an Airline but took an unpaid bid leave for 2 years during the downturn and took contract job in the UAE.  I had no issues but I took no chances, I left a copy of my contract with family in the US as well as a copy of my passport and visa. However, Indonesia banned women from going to Saudi Arabia to work as maids and nannies because they were being denied wages, having their passports confiscated, beaten, raped, etc..The wealth in the middle east is fairly new & it has become an economy that has come to rely on maids, nannies, drivers and construction workers and people r flocking there from poorer countries where families home rely on those wages.  Think America mid1800's -early 1900's.  We have "The American Dream"  they have "The Middle Eastern Dream"  When paid the promised wages not only can a maid support her whole family back home but save, return home and retire in short order.  In an attempt to lower turnover employers frequently with hold wages, confiscate passports, and tear up contracts.  We have a Saudi Princess here in CA who was arrested and charged with holding someone against their will, trafficking and a few other choice charges after an unnamed ethiopian woman ran from a luxury building  across the grounds and into the street screaming and flagged down a passing bus.  She spoke almost no english but was clutching a pamphlet given to her by INS on trafficking and asking for the police. So the driver at the urgings of the passengers pulled over and notified law enforcement. The attorney for the princess claimed it was nothing more than a simple "labor dispute" compounded by the fact that the maid spoke little arabic.  The maid said she came to the US as the princesses maid, had worked for the family in Saudi Arabia for a short time prior to traveling to the US with her employer but her contract promised her 2000 US a month. Shortly after she arrived her passport was confiscated, the contract torn up and her wages slashed to 200 per month. (not terrible for someone from a country where most live on a dollar a day but not the point) Initially all wages were withheld until she repaid her travel expenses to her initial job site Saudi.  She followed the princess because she was told the paid portion of the contract wouldn't go into affect until about a month after coming to the US but did not know she had any legal rights here because she couldn't speak or read english.  She did not know why she was given the pamphlet by INS but kept it because she though it might be important.  She said a repair person who came to the condo "several times and had a kind face" explained the pamphlet to her and also explained that she could leave at anytime she wanted but waited and tried to improve her english by watching tv when the princess left the residence. Prior to having the pamphlet explained to her she thought that the building's concierge and security would prevent her from leaving. She wasn't confident when she left but hoped the police in real life were kind like on tv so she took the stairs to the lobby and ran pamphlet in hand.  When police went to the condo to investigate and question the princess they found 3 other frightened women who appeared to be well-fed and in good health but looked down and refused to speak  After getting the maids alone by asking the princess to answer questions at the police station all the maids admitted that their employment was willing but they were not allowed to leave, they were told not to speak to anyone and  likewise were not being paid, and their passports taken as soon as they cleared US Customs and Immigrations.  They had gotten pamphlets as well but could not read them. The passports were found locked in a safe in the condo. The princess was told it was illegal for an employer to hold the passports of an employee.  The princess though her attorney claims the passports were locked up for safe-keeping and that this is a simple misunderstanding and a labor dispute.  The princess was released on bail, surrendered her passport, and agreed to wear an electric ankle bracelet. The maids r in protective custody in a women's shelter.  Human trafficking is a global problem as is rape. Women here face many roadblocks as well. There r less glamours aspects of our county too.  If u wish to make a difference I'm sure you could find a volunteer outreach program.  Another less glamorous aspect of life in the newly affluent Gulf States ignorance when it comes to proper pet care or lack there of (we have that issue here as well).  We can find the underbelly of any society but I follow the "you can catch more flys with honey than with vinegar" Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will women's rights in the middle east change overnight.  We have people in our country who claim there is a war on "family values" being waged and lost code for "war on women".   Go and enjoy! Build Bridges! We still have laws making an relations with someone other than ones spouse etc  a crime on the books in some states likewise there r lots of laws involving ones moral conduct.  They r never enforced  but they r there none the less.  Likewise in the UAE activities that take place on the QT/DL are not enforced but too much PDA might land u in hot water.  The police don't want to piss off the mullas it isn't good for job security.

The woman has had her conviction quashed and is now in her home country

Hi, the only thing that i can shared to you is that, be safe... don't get over drunk when you're out side. Bear in mind that kissing in public is not acceptable...you can do everything in Dubai though but just be careful... we are all expats in here, this is not our home... whatever happens to you, you are responsible to yourself. We need to consider, this is a Muslim country!!! We have to respect their culture and beliefs...

You are right Marry....