My experience being married to a Vietnamese woman

cucda wrote:

Well, forgive me if i am wrong. Is it a true story or you just made it up in your boredom? (Well i know some people would do that) or are you very ugly? Or a disadvantages person? Otherwise yeah you might have a big heart (nice words) but have quite little brain.

I am sorry but i couldn't believe this. I guess now you have been telling yourself that you were stupid but please allow me to say it again, you're so silly.

Note to someone who said "most of vietnamese girls are like this": well how many vietnamese girls have you knew? As most of vietnamese girls that i know don't really care whether to date/marry a foreigner or vietnamese guy, they live a normal life, have a job, meet some nice guys (not stupid) ....

Again sorry to the OP.
A vietnamese girl

Great answer! It's been a while I didn't hear something that smart! Yes most of Vietnamese girls don't wish to marry a foreigner to get rich easily, no, they do their normal life, get married to the one they love, a Vietnamese guy of their age, and they are perfectly normal and honest, like all the other girls in the world. And I think the same way, I am not here to marry a woman half my age thinking that I will get all I want from her because she's so poor. But I may be a minority, I mean a minority over here as an expat. It's good from you to remind that to too many expat who are here to buy an easy wedding, and complain later that they get rob! Come on! Yes I do like Vietnamese woman and I hope one day I find true love, but it's far more difficult and it's ok this way, good things never come easily.

Thanks for your post.

hanviet87 wrote:

so, there're anytime u think: u love herself or u love her beauty?

that's law on the world: pretty woman only love rich man.

why she only love ur money, dont love u? bc u only love her beauty, dont love her, that's fair, dont complain more.

Are u ready to sex and marry with a ugly woman but there're a beauty soul?

You have a point there, love for beauty only versus love for money only. That may seems fair, if it's understood by both parties, however, it look more like prostitution than marriage, don't you think?

I think that this kind of arrangement can only fail and end up in divorce. And who's gonna risk to loose a lot? the one who pays of course, because the other one have nothing to loose.

I wouldn't have a problem to marry a poor woman and provide for her, but not if it's the only thing she wants. It's better to be alone than be badly match.

Thien Ngan wrote:

It's better to be alone than be badly match.
It's a good points of view. and it's what I have chosen.

Me too I have chosen to stay alone until now, but loneliness is harsh and cold, specially when you are alone in a foreign country, that can push some to make bad choices or go too fast in a relation, I guess.

Thien Ngan wrote:

up to know do you still keep contact with her ? so sad to know that. and you had bad impression of Vietnamese girls. but at the present, after a long time here, do you still keep that thinking?

Was not sure if this was for me or the original post ... anyway, no I never kept contact since she is married (albiet to a guy who was willing to pimp her out).

No bad impression of Vietnamese girls ... in fact I married a girl in 2005; although we did divorce in 2012, she is still a wonderful young lady, a great mother to our daughter and I still consider her a friend. I am moving to Vietnam with our daughter in July and she is helping me with all the papers I need to do that ... so no, no bad feelings towards Vietnamese.

wizzkiss wrote:

You can test your girlfriend very easily, after a few weeks, ask her for a little help, create a fake problem and see if she's gonna help you or drop you, then you'll have a better idea of her devotion to you. 

Actually, I think the best way to test a Vietnamese woman is when the topic of living together/marriage comes up, you should ask her if living in Vietnam is a possibility.  If she's absolutely devoted to living in your country, and doesn't want to go anywhere but there, that's a big red flag, because how can someone decide to want to live in a foreign land so badly when they've never even been there?.  And I agree, any time during the relationship if she asks for money, that's a big red flag also.

I think for expats who wish to marry a Vietnamese, its very important to visit her family, get a feel for them and see how your relationship is with them.  If she has her entire family living in your country, that could be a red flag because that's called a "pull factor" and it could mean she just wants to reunite with her family using you, but you should trust your gut on that.

When you do find that wonderful Vietnamese girl and marry her, it's wonderful.  I'm half Vietnamese, but I can't even begin to tell you how fulfilling it is to marry a Vietnamese.

Thien Ngan wrote:

Rule?

It means that Vietnamese women are #1 in my opinion.

Sarah Thuy wrote:

Just follow a smart way.

Adhome01 wrote:

For the record, 90% of good girls will not get "serious" without months of convincing them you are wanting a serious relationship.

Tell us more. *munches popcorn*

hanviet87 wrote:

so, there're anytime u think: u love herself or u love her beauty?

that's law on the world: pretty woman only love rich man.

why she only love ur money, dont love u? bc u only love her beauty, dont love her, that's fair, dont complain more.

Are u ready to sex and marry with a ugly woman but there're a beauty soul?

I agree . A man must ask this question from himself and then start blaming girls for other things . Most of us are greedy and selfish inside  , whether it's loving a beautiful girl or a rich handsome man .

ameet4luan wrote:

I agree . A man must ask this question from himself and then start blaming girls for other things . Most of us are greedy and selfish inside  , whether it's loving a beautiful girl or a rich handsome man .

That's not being selfish, it's biology.  Women are programmed to seek men with status and access to resources, as that can help ensure their DNA gets passed along and survives until the age of reproduction.  Conversely, men are programmed to seek "beauty" which happens to coincide with the probability that their DNA will flourish by producing offspring in a virile/healthy woman.  Studies have shown that the odds that a woman becomes pregnant is proportional to the waist-to-hip ratio that men find most attractive.  In other words, men are programmed to be attracted to "sexy" women because those women are more likely to become pregnant and give birth to their offspring.  And women are attracted to men who can provide for them and protect them and their offspring.  It's a symbiotic relationship that ensures both parties' DNA survives.  Anybody interested in the opposite sex, thinking they're above these basic reproductive instincts should get a grip on reality.

I met her mid may, we seemed to hit it off. [...] Before I left I agreed to send her some money. Even though we had only known each other for a few days [...]

Question is how could you (as many others) agree to send money though you met for few days? Without being even involved (with or without sexual intercourses)? Because she was sweet and fun?  Because she sent messages like 'I love you', 'I miss you' etc.?

I won't blame anyone for being fools or stupid. IMHO things are a little more tricky. I suspect some people being confused about their feelings. They mix love sympathy compassion charity etc. In Western countries, some are educated so as to help others even if this will come at the expense of our own interests, time, finances... Others may feel they are committed, needed, irreplaceable.

And those features seem to be known and exploited by some unscrupulous girls.

That is my two ¢
P.

roseeden wrote:

Take care of your words when you say about VietNam girls. Your words r not kind. When people read  those words. They will think that you are not a nice person not VietNam girls.

I was only referring to

some unscrupulous girls

... the rest of my post was pointing at some of my dear fellow westerncountries men, including myself.

Sorry if my post suggested otherwise.

crazybitch wrote:

hahahahha, I think she thinks ur a dog... thats why she barks at you...
joking aside.Never Marry a vietnamese girl,most of them are like this,, they just want iphone,go clubbing and shit like that..
BUt i find thaigirls from bangkok,"not the thai girls that old europeen men bring back""the dark skin middleage one"
Go to bangkok u find nicer women there....

Take care of your words when you say about VietNam girls. Your words r not kind. When people read  those words. They will think that you are not a nice person not VietNam girls.