Marrying a Pakistani man

Pls help me understand pakistani men they ar so secretive and change the mind a million time and put the blame on there wife’s and believe other people in there family but don’t trust there wife what and how to get my husband on my side

Hopefully you read the posting before yours for ideas as to why there is not a close relationship.

I have shared the link on this forum before,

If any of you want to know about Pakistani just visit this link:

www.marryingpakistani.wixsite.com/marryingpakistani

This is a mixed marriage with Pakistani community website.

Dear Sister!

         Most of the things which you have said are true. We (Pakistani Men) still need to learn a lot about marrying into other cultures as we don't have the strength to leave our own families and our own culture. I have seen that Pakistani men will start the relationship; hoping that things will work out in future but when the time comes to take the decision; most of these men will give into their families demand and will leave everything behind; but with all due respect; I would like to point out one thing that not all men are not the same.

Hi, do u mind adding me in the whatsapp group as well? I really appreciate your help, thank you

I would like to join thw group. Here my number ***

Hi, I’m interested in this whatsapp group please. Having some relationship issues with Pakistani boyfriend

If anyone wants to join the whatsapp group

Just INBOX me your number with your country code — don’t post your number here but send me a message

To know more about this community you can check it here : www.marryingpakistani.wixsite.com/marryingpakistani

Hello... Hope u r doing great there... Well u r not a Pakistani girls and how u know about the Pakistani culture or what else.. How u could tell to the others one... It's request to u don't missguide the others one....
If really anyone want to know about Pakistan feel free to contact me thank you.

Waseem Toor wrote:

Hello... Hope u r doing great there... Well u r not a Pakistani girls and how u know about the Pakistani culture or what else.. How u could tell to the others one... It's request to u don't missguide the others one....
If really anyone want to know about Pakistan feel free to contact me thank you.

Read the topic title and the initial questions.  This was created to get advice about pakistani men and relationships/marriage.  No one is talking about culture or misguiding .  People are sharing their opinions based on their OWN experiences.  Based on OWN experience, everyone is entitled to an opinion if they express it in line with the forum rules - read through the rules as well.

And being a Pakistani man; albeit one who left the country ages ago, I tend to agree with most of the opinions that have been shared here.  Especially about my countrymen whom you meet abroad. The mindset really does need to change for us as we have lingering problems with insecurity, possessiveness and cultural identity.

Hi there I maybe able to help you out. You can PM me if you need any advice.

Hi
Can I join the whatsapp group?

Hi. Can u add me to the group as well?

I would love to be partnof the group sister. Thank you.

I would love to be part of the group sister. Thank you.

Aseiya, i am from indonesia. I want to join the whatsapp group, but i dont know why I cant send message to you. Can you help me, please?

Were from he in Pakistan?

@Gravitas

Great opinion

@ellainehuss

Dear Ellain Huss

Sister

It is very sad to hear your harsh n bitter experience and I am so sorry that my countryman did this sin with you. For me it is a sin to marry a noble lady for documents.

I have spent three years in UK and 1.5 years in Sweden as a student. By God I didn't even touch any girl. Though my dream to get married with a white girl to start my family in Europe.

Sister circumstances are different with every person. I did arrange marriage in relatives. But I have so many issues and repenting of not marrying in Europe.

Sister All fingers are not same.

May your life full of blessings n happiness

....

Ameen....

@ellainehuss can you generalize like that?? Like how can you say all men are going to have same intentions.  No pakistaníe can be honest and fall in love with a foreign girl??

@ellainehusstha thanks you 🙏🙏🙏 I will be Pakistan soon,I will checking,

Hello all,

I am open to guide.

@MairajKhan999ok thanks you 👍🙏

@rosannarodriguez2525 welcome.

I will be in islamaba,I need guide I don't know to speak urdu thanks 🙏

@rosannarodriguez2525

hello, it seems that english is widely spoken.

Regards

Bhavna

@rosannarodriguez2525

Please connect me at ***

@Iamconfused

You need to convert to islam before he can marry you and i guess he don’t wanna say that on your face (most probably thats the reason)

@Iamconfused

"I'm sorry, but this is classic Paki behavior. Many have families back home or are already married. In Urdu, we call it 'Thurki'—always on the prowl. Remember, a passport is just a document; it doesn't change someone's nature. Most of the time, it's just empty flirting."

@rosannarodriguez2525

Don`t trust anyone online, if you want to visit there are some tour operators but you must avoid anyone offering help online

@HEROX GAMERX

I call it lame excuses

@eliamartejada27

😄

@Waseem Toor

Moral of the story is to contact you  😂

If he won’t communicate, it’s not fair to expect you to change. A healthy relationship needs openness from both sides. Stay true to yourself.

@Hammad Rasheed

Please stop repeatedly posting AI generated script.

It would be much nicer to hear from you your actual thoughts/words

It seems that girls from all over the world have issues by marrying into Pakistani families.

I married a Japanese girl once, but it it did not work out. My niece is Pakistani origin but raised in USA, married a turk in the US, but it did not work out. As a matter of fact, I have not seen a single marriage that is international by nature, that has prospered.

I came to this conclusion that, even within muslim backgrounds, the culture plays a very important role.

Unfortunately, yes my generation male were raised in a male dominant society and we cannot stand women who talk back or argue. Women must stay home, take care of the house, the family, parents etc and are not allowed to go back to her own parents' place except for occasions.

But this is what our society has become and this is the reality. So anyone who meets a Pakistani guy, consider these things before proceeding to develop feelings.

Pakistani guys, even if they are OK with things, their families wont, trust me.

I myself was OK in the beginning, but then when I aged I grew up and realised, I cannot be OK with stuff that I once was. So please do not marry cross-culturally. It seldom succeeds. Even if the girl or the boy are seeming to be broad-minded now, with the passage of time their roots will suck them back.

Marry into your people and enjoy your life

Look, if you don’t trust someone, why fixate on them? Move on. Simple. Life’s too short to waste on doubts.

Now, I’ll admit—we Pakistani men have our flaws. Plenty of them. But cheating? That’s not really our style. And honestly, for all our imperfections, I’d argue we’re still a solid deal compared to many others. You’re welcome to disagree—but hey, life is about trade-offs, right?

At the end of the day, no one is perfect—neither men nor women. Marriage isn’t about finding a flawless partner; it’s about choosing which flaws you can live with. Men do it too—we roll our eyes at certain things women do, but we focus on what really matters and let the small stuff slide. That’s called being a grown-up.

So here’s my advice:

Figure out your non-negotiables. What are the absolute deal-breakers for you?

Be open-minded about the rest. Nobody’s ticking every box, and if they do, they probably have a secret identity.

Master this, and your married life might just be ideal. Or at least, dramatically less stressful. Just my two cents—take it or leave it!

Mate Im in a relationship with pakistani man, TIP! they will never love anyone from other country I know that! Why?I talked to uni mate friends who are Pakistanis! and how theyre going to marry someone? According to them!Most of them marry other nationality just for permanent residence in that country, just for papers, they even said that just for document and just for fun.Majority is fixed married by parents in their own countryAccording to them.!They are just using ladies in other countries as a toy. One more they are back stubbers, they will tell bullshit at your back. One more after using you they will again marry another lady.So what's to hold on??think!!!It's still your decision, you are ready to accept their culture??? think think think!!!! - @ellainehuss

@Iamconfused
Hello,
I am a US citizen and married a Pakistani 25 year ago when we met in Dubai, I was on a holiday and he was working there. We certainly had our share of ups and downs. He came to the US on a fiancé visa and we got married in 2000 but in 2004 there was a loud knocking at our door and when I opened it there were the police coming to arrest him for sexual assault of a child. After he was jailed he told me the girl looked 20 and came on to him then when he refused she told him she needed money and if he didn't give it to her she would go to the police and tell them he assaulted her, so he ended up being deported. I also loved him and forgave him. Now I am retired from my US job and (I bought with my money) moved into a large home with his mother and nephew but she does not speak English and I do not speak Urdu. Just last month he told me he was moving to Malta to work there with his relative. Last month found my Gas bill was over $300 and my Pakistani husband has not sent me any money, so I am stuck with the bill for my mother in law, nephew and all her guests coming and going from my home here. just 2 days ago I got fed up and to bring this situation to a head when his mother and nephew left for a big family dinner, I locked the front gate and refused to let them inside again. His tall nephew jumped the wall and started banging on my front door. I let them all inside and explained I cannot pay for his mother that my husband is not sending home money to me for her and she has to move in with her daughter, so they packed up her things and moved her out but now my Pakistani husband won't even talk to me on the phone( he declines my calls), I am completely alone in a small village outside Islamabad and have no friends here, no transportation and cannot speak Urdu. My advice to you, iamconfused, and if I could do it all over again, would be to go to your house of worship, or a local university or college and meet a nice local man there to partner with. That's what I wish I would have done! In the US we have a saying; sometimes unanswered prayers are the best answer. -Cloudwalk - @cloudwalk

It is always better to marry within your own community. I, too, have experienced the hardships of an international marriage that ended in failure, and based on that experience, I strongly recommend against it. While love and attraction may initially bring two people together, the reality of cultural differences, family expectations, and deeply ingrained mentalities can create significant challenges that are difficult to overcome.

Cloudwalk, what happened to you is truly unfortunate, and I can completely relate to your experience. The struggles you narrated are not just possibilities—they are realities that many face in cross-cultural marriages. Given our upbringing and mindset, these challenges can often become insurmountable. It is a harsh truth, but one that needs to be acknowledged.

My sincere advice would be to return to the USA and file this experience under “lessons learned.” Life is about moving forward, taking the wisdom gained from difficult experiences, and making better choices in the future. I genuinely sympathize with what you have been through, and I hope that in time, you find peace and happiness in a place where you feel truly at home.

I am aware of that but why would the culture matter?