How to make friends in Shenzhen

Expat.com wrote:

We have been talking about loneliness when you are abroad, let's now talk about how to make friends (locals or expatriates) when you're living in Shenzhen

Which are your best tips to meet people and to make friends in Shenzhen??

Thanks in advance for your participation

that's a very good question...I have been here for almost 2 years now and sure it is not easy to make friends here

Tiffany915 wrote:

DorisLee wrote:

Hello, i am a chinese girl live in Shenzhen, welcome to China, every expat! I think make friends is not hard as long as we find the right person. I like the saying " Birds of a feather flock together". I like climb mountain, reading, travel, and shopping, chatting online...If you live in Shenzhen, let's meet and enjoy life together!  Cheers!

Hey... you sound really cool.. would love to hear from you and perhaps hang out sometime? I love out-door activities too!

Hi, My skype is: doris.lee1020, would like to know you. Cheers!

jameslowe wrote:

Expat.com wrote:

We have been talking about loneliness when you are abroad, let's now talk about how to make friends (locals or expatriates) when you're living in Shenzhen

Which are your best tips to meet people and to make friends in Shenzhen??

Thanks in advance for your participation

that's a very good question...I have been here for almost 2 years now and sure it is not easy to make friends here

yep, i feel so too

maya.l wrote:

Nice 2 meet u! Shenzhen is an open city, she welcomes the friends all over the world, just take it easy and have fun.

lscraffy wrote:

One thing's for sure: people in Shenzhen are not easy to make friends with. They're strictly here to make money, nothing more. I've tried socializing with 100's of people here. Ultimately, they just want to know what they can gain from you. Through it all, I've only been able to accumulate a few "real" friends.

Therefore, if your definition of friends is texting each other sometimes, meeting once every 2 months with a group of other people, then that may be enough for you. Personally, I consider a friend someone I am fond of, enjoy being around, I can talk to OPENLY, and I can rely on them in the event I have an emergency or major problem. Someone who makes time and can share it with you often. That doesn't mean everyday or even once a week. But it also doesn't mean once every 2 or 3 months with little or no communication in between. So far, only a few fall into my "friends" category in China.

I have no problem meeting people. The problem lies in their sincerity and interest to make friends. Honestly, I've met more hospitable people in 3rd world countries who live in small shacks..even offering me dinner. In China, not ever had such an offer...and I've been here a long time.

This society in China has been raised to focus exclusively on money. When you are raised this way, you can't expect anyone to enjoy your company, listen to your complaints about money, working all the time because you don't have hobbies or can't do anything else such as volunteer ( a term that does not exist here). All and all, I've learned to be passive here.

Yes, they "claim" to want to make friends with foreigners. But this is a guise to save face. Actions do speak louder than words. And, excuses don't cut it for me.

My best tip for making friends here: BE PASSIVE.

Tip 2: If you want to make real friends: Don't get caught up in their texting or chatting schemes. Demand face to face meetings or delete them. They WILL waste your time if you allow them. After all, if they just want text or chat mates, they don't really want genuine friends. Watch out, it's a trap you should avoid here.

Tip 3: give them 3 chances to attend an event, meeting, dinner etc with you. After the 3rd invite and they can't make any of them, delete them. They're not serious. Be cognizant of lame excuses also. Some get deleted more quickly than others. One person told me "I can't go. I have to go home and chat on my computer with me friends." <
If you enjoy this type of people, you can have 100's of "friends" here. If you believe in more meaningful friendships and wish not to waste your valuable time, take my tips to heart. They will save you much time, money and you won't be disheartened. Superficial or realistic, you decide.

I agree with some points and tip you just mentioned. However, it's not that bad. I live here with my family for 2 months and I have some family friends who don't care what business I'm running here...


I wish you all good luck in seeking "friends" in China.

lscraffy wrote:

This society in China has been raised to focus exclusively on money. When you are raised this way, you can't expect anyone to enjoy your company, listen to your complaints about money, working all the time because you don't have hobbies or can't do anything else such as volunteer ( a term that does not exist here). All and all, I've learned to be passive here.

I need to agree with you 100%.  My exwife is chinese and learning more of her customs and traditions, "money" is so ingrained in their culture and traditions that it has even been a saying to them for over a thousand years.  "Happy new year, good health and wealth"  and every store as the little cat "bring me money".  I bought a really neat looking coin bank made from bamboo at a garage sale in the US.  She said the chinese on the side said "bring money into my home".

To the original poster, try going to an english class and meet an expat teacher.  You'll be able to gather some information about gatherings for expat outings, like the movies or dinner in a big group.

Take care, good luck