BULLY.....you can make a change.

Lets start with....
me!
What can I do?

hELLnoi wrote:

Lets start with....
me!
What can I do?

you can start by stop bully-ing people,Hellnoi

aabie ryan wrote:

hELLnoi wrote:

Lets start with....
me!
What can I do?

you can start by stop bully-ing people,Hellnoi

me??? look who is the one getting a hammered head!!!
ouch! ouch! ouch!
you have a bad hair day or something?

By telling the kids that are getting bullied
'its whats inside you that counts'
'your a good person'
The person who is bullying you was either bullied themself or trying to look big and more important to his friends.

I thought this was going to be about Teddy Roosevelt.

In my grade school year one of my classmate is a menace to me, he threatening me and hitting me most of the time and I can't find any reason why he was doing that for I am sure I was behave then. I even try to ignore him at school even at lunch time but it seems theres something in me that makes him go gaga, maybe because I was smaller than him....I tried to tell my mom but I was afraid that it could get worse. I spoiled that kid for hurting me and I don't even had a chance to confront him till we get seperated.
            “A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That's where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It's having backbone.”

JasfurJQ wrote:

In my grade school year one of my classmate is a menace to me, he threatening me and hitting me most of the time and I can't find any reason why he was doing that for I am sure I was behave then. I even try to ignore him at school even at lunch time but it seems theres something in me that makes him go gaga, maybe because I was smaller than him....I tried to tell my mom but I was afraid that it could get worse. I spoiled that kid for hurting me and I don't even had a chance to confront him till we get seperated.
            “A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That's where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It's having backbone.”

Next time you go back for holidays, get 5 of the toughest SoB you know and go to his house to invite him out for coffee.

Toughness is also showing you can forgive. So remember to make him pay for the coffee.
hEE2

"A bully is not reasonable, they persuaded only by threats."

Man learn at the point of necessity... which is usually a threat to his existence.

hELLnoi wrote:

Man learn at the point of necessity... which is usually a threat to his existence.

are you talking about yourself alone in this quote? obviously I see a deadly father that could cause life of his kids!!!  seems this thread fit for you.....

JasfurJQ wrote:

"A bully is not reasonable, they persuaded only by threats."

But how do they feel about verbs?

again another bullied kid shot his classmate in school....

Boys with semi-automatic assault rifles will be boys.

You can be a bully unless you are in a more advantageous position. All of us bully in some form or other.

hELLnoi wrote:

You can be a bully unless you are in a more advantageous position. All of us bully in some form or other.

Agree with that, even we say it in a simple words and people felt hurt is still be called bullied even if we don't meant it.

Bully can be in the form how society treats individuals to conform to their ideas.

Unfortunately bullying has sort of changed over the decades. When I was a kid the bully was the big, generally unpopular, kid whose dad was a dock worker or low skilled moron. The kid would beat the snot out of EVERYBODY smaller than him, just to show how tough he was. I guess they prefered fear to popularity.

Nowadays that kind of bully still exists and they don't stop without intervention, because they aren't stopped at home by caring parents. Generally the behaviour is acquired from a parent and encouraged. So until somebody bigger comes along and kicks crap out of the bully or victim's parent demands the school or police take action, he or she (yes girls can be bullies too). continues the aggression against others.

Now too there are the 'verbal bullies', those kids who verbally abuse other kids for many reasons. Kids get abused for looking or being different, being unpopular, slow, poor, gay (or even looking like they are), foreign, anything you can think of. It's hard to stop verbal bullying since it's hard to prove unless somebody catches the offender in the act. Schools are reluctant to take action since there is this lack of proof. They try to 'educate' away the problem which doesn't work.

If you can't change the behaviour you must change the reaction. This is true with anything. So, you know you're not going to be able to stop the bully then you have to teach your child (the victim) different ways to deal with their own feelings and reactions. They have to learn to be thick skinned and ignore most of the abuse and they have to have their own self image and self esteem reinforced.

Parents everywhere have a moral duty to teach their kids that it is not acceptable to hit ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. No exceptions should be made, I don't even agree with hitting in order to fight back since in most cases it only elevates the level of aggression. How do you teach your kids not to hit? First you tell them the rule. Then you reinforce proper behaviour with some rewards. You punish breaking the rule with some loss of priviledge or not getting something they wanted. You must also teach the rule by your own example. You too must remember that it is not acceptable to hit ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.

I am the father of 5. Four are now adults, the oldest now 40 and my youngest is 5 years old. I have always taken a very active part in their upbringing. I have never spanked or hit any of them because I firmly believe it is wrong, but more importantly not necessary.

Wrong - yes, it sends the wrong message to kids. It tells them that there is good violence and bad violence. That good violence can be used to control behaviour.

Unnecessary - you bet! Children are very sophisticated and it is in their nature to please. If you show your children that you are as quick to notice, praise and reward good behaviour as you are to notice, scold and penalize bad behaviour they will go out of their way to behave properly. That's just the way they are, kids want love and approval. They learn boundries, limits and restrictions. They feel much more secure as a result and it gives them direction.

You get kids to do exactly what you want them to do not by barking orders and making threats, but by negotiating or making them THINK IT WAS THEIR IDEA.

Example:

Johnny, what do you want to do first clean up your bedroom or watch this cartoon program?

Answer is obvious, the cartoons.

When the program ends... Ok Johnny, it's time to clean up your room, let's go!

Grumble, grumble, grumble...  But wait! You decided to watch the TV first and we held up our end of the deal, now it's your turn.

Oh yeah! You're right.... off to tidy the room.

If you ever see your child hit or verbally abuse anyone else you must remain calm and consider it a "teaching moment", one where YOU must take control of the situation and TEACH the expected and acceptable behaviour and explain the consequences.

wjwoodward wrote:

Unfortunately bullying has sort of changed over the decades. When I was a kid the bully was the big, generally unpopular, kid whose dad was a dock worker or low skilled moron. The kid would beat the snot out of EVERYBODY smaller than him, just to show how tough he was. I guess they prefered fear to popularity.

Our school bullies were the rich kids who knew they could get away with anything.  Their parents always had more control over the school board than anyone else's parents.

Yeah, that's when bullying really started changing and getting worse. In my days the schools had all the legal rights of parents and that included corporal punishment (while it was used sparingly). We respected and feared the Principal and teachers, but we also loved them.

Bullies were quickly put in their place at school, but generally the parents sided with their kids because they taught them that the 'survival of the toughest' was the order of the day.

Nowadays as you point out it's the well off students who think they're the cock of the walk since their parents are loaded and the schools bend over backwards for them. Sad comment on our times.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog Team

Bullying doesn't only deal with children in schools. Pressure groups lobbying to remove the minority liberties. Religious persecutions. Racial bullies. Class distinctions.
I doubt the world will rid of bullying, because in one form or other, we subscribe to it.

BULLY - A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.