Parent with 4 year old with behavior issues

We have been struggling with our 4 year old, no real diagnosis other than developmental delay and muscle weakness.  Every day is a struggle with him, but the times we have gone on vacation to places like Costa Rica and Jamaica where the pace of life is slower and we have time to focus on him he seems so much happier.  I am very stressed and concerned daily trying to deal with his difficult behaviors. 
I would move tomorrow if we could, but my husband is not as willing to go. 
I was wondering if any Ex-pats moved in order to help improve their child's behavior. 

Hopefully that does not sound bad, he just spends much of his day focused on certain toys and has difficulty focusing, listening, and many outburst that seem to occur ALL day.  I don't know if its due to stimulus and daily stresses that we deal with in the USA.

I think this is a much better place to raise kids. It's one of the reasons we moved here. It's a little challenging for our teenager, but she's kind of a private person anyway. Our younger ones are safer, there's way less stimulation and stress, and kids here just have a lot more freedom and space to be. I'm not of the anti technology clan. Both my teens loved tv, movies, and video games, though they rarely do that anymore. And our younger ones watch their share of movies and shows and play plenty of games, not all of which are "educational," whatever that means, but kids here spend a lot of time outside, and I think that's really nice too. They're free to roam around with friends at a pretty young age because it's safe. They can explore without adults up their butt arranging every moment of their day. And us working less and having more time to spend with them definitely helps.

I think i am just at the point where I am tired of everyone around me thinking my child has issues, but I don't believe there is anything wrong with how he is.  The schools and the doctors just want him to learn the way other kids do.  they tell me he does not write with a pencil can you work with him, he won't work in the group like the other kids. Its a constant thing.  I have to remind myself we do live in his 4 year old world, everyone is making it seem like he is acting wrong and we need to make him act a certain way.  But I realize he is only 4 and while some kids are easy, he is not.  It seems they think he is the problem, but i think its the people around him are trying to make a 4 year old be something he is NOT.  He is very intelligent, but does things a little different than the other kids.  I 100% know he is not autistic or disabled, but it feels like everyone else thinks we need to fix him, when really we need to adjust ourselves because he is only 4. 
Sorry to vent its just good to hear that maybe its really not my child that has problems but everyone else around him making have problems, but in all realize he is doing what 4 year olds do.  He is the most loving and smart little guy, and I want to foster his creativity.

Hi  we have an Autistic grandson now 13, what is classified as 'High End' as most of his problems are down to emotional immaturity. Like we have a 13 year old with toddlers temper tantrums and associated sense of reason and patience.   But whenever he is in Belize he  is so noticeably different. He is less demanding, hardly any  problems with behavior, Little to none of his anger and swearing problem , he is  just the Adorable boy he is 80% of the time in the US, but  in Belize that is 99% of the time. 
We believe it is because he is not over stimulated, In the US he is constantly asking what next,  and then. He loves the Mall but he is like a ball in a pin ball game going from store to store.  He NEED to see his immediate future planned out. His next Belize visit is at thanksgiving, already has the places he will be wanting to visit written down so we all know that the first night we will be eating at his favorite place and when we will be going over to the farm to check on all the animals and go horse riding.
Our biggest worry for him both here and in Belize, is that he has no 'Fear' of anything and also should he get lost, he does not answer questions. I know that sounds odd when he  is very chatty and  shows no speech problems, and is just another kid in so many ways. He really doesn't answer questions when asked directly, so our fear if lost and any  one was to ask him where he needed t be or where his family were he would most likely shut down and become scared and panic. Last visit he did go 'missing' from the house for a coupe of hours no one had seen him we have builders on the land and no they had not seen him but then SHHH someone  might have heard a  voice,, we found him in a corner of the under house storage area with two dogs telling them the stories that he usually makes into his Go-animate movies when at home. The dogs seemed happy and attentive even the Stupid dog that usually barks at everything.
We also think that  the much more "natural" diet we have in Belize can't hurt, the fast food places just are not there so he eats home made from scratch versions of his fast food favorites, (wish we could avoid them in US too) , which he finds acceptable and enjoys. His parents and we his grandparents all wish we could have got him spending more time in Belize from a much earlier age, the hold over of better Behaviors is getting better each time he returns, his school noticed it initially and commented that from first being a hold over for maybe 1 or 2 days,this spring his principle said the whole following week was great, and into the next one also.
It is not the worst thing in the world if  you have a child that is on that autism spectrum, Our grandson is virtually unable to lie even when he knows he is going to be in trouble, he shares anything he has, he loves giving gifts,  last year when they had a food drive at the local supermarket with ready made food bags at $10 each he, over the 10 week period donated 17, for which he actually spent his own pocket money  for most of them  taking it from his piggy bank before we left home, asking Me or whoever he was shopping with to make up the rest when he didn't have enough. Talking with his parents when they were deciding if he should try some of the drug regimes that 'May' improve his Behaviors  we came to the  agreement he was his own unique person, and we LIKE, as well as love  this person, so nix the drugs, and get him into Belize for longer periods.

That's so wonderful, terrific, that Belize is so good for your grandson. I often think autistic kids come in to change us rather than the other way around. It's affirming to hear families loving their kids as is. US culture could stand to dial it back about 50 notches.

RN4KU, it sounds like your instincts are spot on. Our older daughter didn't learn to read until 9. She just wasn't ready. Not delayed in any way. I think it was part of maintaining her innocence and creativity. She's now 14 and reads about 8 hours a day. It drives me absolutely bananas that they try to make all kids the same. It was part of my motivation for for starting a school in Asheville based on the sudbury model. Way too much work, but I still miss it sometimes. I wish my littles had something like that going on here.

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