Hi I need advice from Kenyan ladies or women in my position!
I've been in a long distance relationship with Kenyan man for nearly three years now. I visit him 4-5 times a year, at the start I was so wary of him wanting me for a visa or money (u know the normal stereotypes) but infact he never asks me for anything and has no interest moving here. My problem is communication, he is Awful at it and it's kind of important when you don't see each other for months on end!!
If I call him it's fine we talk, everything is great but it's not cheap to call so I got him phone for his birthday, set up WhatsApp etc and it's great being able to send pics etc well it's great when he bothers! he is useless he doesn't read messages for hours or he doesn't reply it's caused us quite a few arguments as I say why can't you reply or just say your busy if u can't talk, all he says is I'm sorry I'm just distracted! He doesn't work full time so he can't be that busy!! all Im being told by people is if he cared enough he would make more effort which is what I think however I've also been told this is an African man they aren't like western men relationships are very different, but are they?! I just don't know if I'm wasting my time!! I've said to him so many times if your not interested anymore or bored just tell me!! He says I'm being stupid, he loves me and when I'm there he is amazing, won't leave me alone shows me so much love but soon as I'm home it's me doing all the effort & it's starting to get to me now I said to him i need attention and asked how do u know how to show love & he said physically! That's no good to me here is it!!
I love him & wanted give it a shot but think I need to understand men there a bit more culturally and how relationships are? I know u can't generalise but any advice on Kenyan men id appreciate! I'm aware they think they are above women and rule the roost he has already shown that (not in a bad way) so it's clear there are some differences to men I'm used too! He is kikuyu if that makes any difference?! Do u think there is a big difference between western relationships and African ones? For example First time we went on holiday he said he struggled being with just me 24/7 as it's not done there? men hang out with men, women with women it's unusual to spend so much time with your partner is that true? He has done it since & says he is getting used to it now but just things like that I find odd?
Thanks in advance for any help sorry for the long ramble!!!