We all recognize that starting a new life in a new country brings challenges; moving abroad is overwhelming and daunting, but relocating with children can be significantly even more so.
Going through my first pregnancy as an expat and raising a baby in Brunei away from family and friends was lonely and exhausting. There were no NCT classes or baby groups to meet other mothers like there were in the UK. As borders were shut during COVID, getting hold of basics such as nappies also added to the stress of being a first-time mother. I did, however, take advantage of being 8 hours ahead of the UK, which meant my family was awake to talk to during those newborn sleepless nights! My children are just 2 years old and 2 months old, so the challenges of relocating with family, fortunately, have not affected them. I had to quickly adopt a positive mindset and a sheer amount of resilience to ensure I experienced my time overseas to the fullest.
The same mindset and resilience apply to relocating with older children; however, this presents its own unique challenges. The primary concern parents have raised is how the transition will affect their children and whether they have made the right decision in relocating to the new location. Growing up often produces periods of low self-esteem, difficulty making friends at school, peer pressure and exam stress; things can be a lot harder. Add this to tackling a new life abroad, and it's easy to see why children can lose perspective and struggle to adjust to their new country.
Just like preparation and planning for the logistics of the move is imperative to ensuring a successful relocation, having conversations with your children in advance and maintaining a positive attitude is a must in helping them cope with the challenges of moving overseas.
Here are just a few ways that have significantly helped parents thrive in a foreign country:
Research and understand the local culture
Take the time to learn about your new country's customs, traditions, and parenting practices. Understanding the cultural norms will help you navigate social interactions and adapt your parenting style accordingly.
Build a support network
Connect with other parents, both locals and expatriates, who can offer guidance, advice, and emotional support. Join local parenting groups, online forums, or attend community events to meet like-minded individuals.
Learn the language
If the local language is different from your native tongue, make an effort to learn it. Communication is crucial, and being able to understand and speak the local language will facilitate interactions with your child's school, healthcare providers, and other parents.
Embrace diversity
Encourage your child to embrace and appreciate the cultural diversity around them. Teach them about different traditions, foods, and celebrations. This will help them develop an open-minded perspective and foster tolerance and inclusivity.
Maintain connections with your home country
Stay connected with your roots by sharing stories, celebrating holidays and festivals from your home country, and involving your child in cultural activities. This will help them develop a sense of identity and appreciation for their heritage.
Balance dual identities
Help your child navigate their dual identities as they grow up abroad. Encourage them to explore their host country's culture while fostering a connection to their home country. This balance will help them develop a well-rounded perspective.
Prioritize your child's education
Research and choose the right school for your child. Consider factors such as curriculum, language of instruction, and the school's reputation. Stay involved in your child's education by attending parent-teacher meetings and actively participating in their learning journey.
Maintain a strong family bond
Living abroad can sometimes be isolating, so make an effort to maintain strong family ties. Regular video calls with extended family members, sharing family traditions, and planning visits back home or inviting relatives to visit you can help strengthen the family bond.
Take care of yourself
Parenting abroad can be stressful, so it's essential to prioritize self-care. Seek out activities and hobbies that help you relax and rejuvenate. Connect with other expatriates or join local clubs or organizations that align with your interests.
Be flexible and adaptable
Embrace the challenges and uncertainties that come with parenting abroad. Recognize that things may not always go as planned and be willing to adapt to new situations. Maintain a positive attitude and resilience in the face of obstacles.
Professional support
The use of a qualified expat coach speeds up the process of integration into your host country and can be your best ally and a key partner to a successful relocation. They save you stress and time, both of which are limited when moving overseas, and bring emotional and practical support to both you and your family.
Moving to a new country can be emotionally challenging for children. Expat coaches provide children with a safe and supportive space to express their feelings, fears, and concerns. They help children develop coping strategies, build resilience, and manage the emotional ups and downs of the transition.
Expat coaches can provide academic guidance and support. They may help children adjust to a new education system, set goals, develop study skills, and overcome challenges in their schoolwork. Coaches can also liaise with teachers and schools to ensure children receive the necessary support and accommodations.
Expat coaching for children is tailored to the unique needs of each child and family. The duration and frequency of coaching sessions may vary depending on the specific circumstances. It's important to choose a qualified and experienced expat coach who understands the challenges of living abroad and has expertise in working with children and families in a cross-cultural context.
When you decide to raise children abroad, you sacrifice a lot. Being a parent abroad can present unique challenges, and what works for one family may not work for another. But with careful planning and a positive mindset, you can ensure success in raising your child. Trust your instincts, seek support when needed, and enjoy the adventure of raising a child abroad.
