Looking For Love

Enzyte Bob wrote:

Now if I wanted to be swindled, a good place to start would be online dating sites in the Philippines, Thailand or Ukraine.

That's where the professionals hang out.

Yes. But cant be swindled there neither if not giving them anything... 

Yea man... I can see that.  That is as much as Joaquin “El Chapo” made off of his Cocaine runs into the US....    Damn, I've been in the wrong biz all these years... LOL 

Enzyte Bob wrote:

people in the US have been swindled out of 1.5 Billion Dollars in the last five years looking for love.

I read almost the same story about UK citizens losing their shirts instead of their trousers in similar scams. Scammers, and fools, are all over the world.
Odd as it is, the last post I looked at was a love scammer trying to operate on here - The now banned scammer's post was removed with the flick of my finger (I'm using a touch screen)

I have to agree with your statement at least in principal. All countries and all peoples have this same issue; mainly that everyone is looking for "love" and some people are willing to search on-line. This practice though has been going on for many millennium. Different nomadic tribes getting together once or twice a year with other tribes to meet people from a different gene pool, to help keep down inter breading, arranged marriages and in more modern times news paper adds looking for love, to the most modern equivalent on-line dating. The common thread in all of this is that one group of people lack something that another group of people desire and are welling to trade for, a common barter system; I am a beautiful woman and I am willing to date/marry/hook up with you regardless of your looks, size or age for the security your wealth or affluence offers. Actually its' only been the last couple of hundred years that the concept of romantic love entered into marriage at all and this has lead to ego's getting involved. So, Thailand, Philippines and Ukraine have an abundance of beautiful women with internet access that are willing to make an exchange. Of course one has to understand that every country has an abundance of men and women that want to make an exchange. Peace and love

Enzyte Bob wrote:

I read a newspaper article titled "Looking for Love in the wrong places".

According to the FTC (Federal Trade Commission USA)  people in the US have been swindled out of 1.5 Billion Dollars in the last five years looking for love.

Answering my own post, If I would be looking for love, I would be hanging out at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's both in the America.

Whole Foods would be my first choice as they have an area where you sit and drink coffee. Overall their prices maybe twice as much as Walmart. Never-the-less whole foods is very expensive.

I've seen many classy ladies in both places. People shop at Whole Foods because they can ($$$). Whole Foods nickname is Whole Paycheck Foods.

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog if you have one. People tend to go to the same places, parks, green spaces, etc so the dogs can be taken of their leads and enjoy some freedom.

And if your dog should happen to start sniffing around a beautiful ladies dog, then you have something in common to start with and an easy opportunity to start a conversation.

Cherryann01 wrote:

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog.

Add shopping and pretty much every other day to day activity. I met my first Chinese girlfriend when I went to the takeaway she was working at for a curry. I went out with a girl I met in a supermarket for three years. Meeting just happen naturally.

Cherryann01 wrote:

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog if you have one. .

That would make very few to chose from. Its very hard to find anyone suiting both my much serious and my much joking sides so I need at least some houndred to chose from   
In Sweden best are real dance places with big dance floors. NOT tiny dance floor discos where most just go to show off their fashion clothes. 
And schools but thats to late for us      My youngest nephew found his now wife in school back when they were only 14 and 13yo.

coach53 wrote:

Cherryann01 wrote:

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog if you have one. .

Coach53 said: That would make very few to chose from. Its very hard to find anyone suiting both my much serious and my much joking sides so I need at least some houndred to chose from

Quality rules, I think a few Dog Walkers would be enough of a sample to find a really a good companion.

Now Coach53 if you need at least 100, I would think more, that's a big problem.

Enzyte Bob wrote:

coach53 wrote:

Cherryann01 wrote:

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog if you have one. .

Coach53 said: That would make very few to chose from. Its very hard to find anyone suiting both my much serious and my much joking sides so I need at least some houndred to chose from

Quality rules, I think a few Dog Walkers would be enough of a sample to find a really a good companion.

Now Coach53 if you need at least 100, I would think more, that's a big problem.

Its very hard because as I said its very hard to find one suiting both my sides.
When my joking side find someone, then my serious side normaly find her to messy
and when my serious side find someone, then my joking side normaly find her to to boooring   
Additional to that she need to like to live as I want to.
Then there arent many left   

Cherryann01 wrote:

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog if you have one. People tend to go to the same places, parks, green spaces, etc so the dogs can be taken of their leads and enjoy some freedom.

And if your dog should happen to start sniffing around a beautiful ladies dog, then you have something in common to start with and an easy opportunity to start a conversation.

Thats a good point but you have to remember that ultimately in life as in many things its a numbers game. How many women of your choice are going to be walking dogs in your local park everyday. But without doubt its a natural way to start up a conversation.

coach53 wrote:

Cherryann01 wrote:

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog if you have one. .

That would make very few to chose from. Its very hard to find anyone suiting both my much serious and my much joking sides so I need at least some houndred to chose from   
In Sweden best are real dance places with big dance floors. NOT tiny dance floor discos where most just go to show off their fashion clothes. 
And schools but thats to late for us      My youngest nephew found his now wife in school back when they were only 14 and 13yo.

What a load of tosh. Women and to some extent men will 'dress to impress' at any fashionable venue large or small if they are looking for a date or simply to show off. One could also argue that the larger the venue the extra mile they have to go to to get noticed. Larger clubs tend to attract exhibitionists. I've never been to Sweden but I have found that if you are looking to meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex - this is a politically correct forum ) then go for the smaller intimate bar. It has more atmosphere, and you can have an intelligent dialogue without being deafened - much easier to strike up a meaningful conversation. The smaller the venue the more crowded it will be and this lends itself to 'entering a person's private space' without them feeling threatened.
As I have stated in a previous post there are sadly very few regular bar venues in the Philippines that offer this environment. This is a Philippine forum but if you are a male and wish to be chatted up by an elegant inviting office female professional and find yourself in Indonesia check out Loewy's in Jakarta. Just sit at the long elegant bar with a G&T and wait.. 

Just call the swindled money an investment to finding love.     

Think about it, when you court someone, you still incur costs for dating.   And then being steady for two years and always, the gentleman that you are, paying for the dates.   If it does not work out in the end and she breaks up with you, would call it being swindled?  No. 

But it's the same concept.  We try to find love, burned holes in our wallets, and it did not work out.

Lotus Eater wrote:

coach53 wrote:

Cherryann01 wrote:

Believe it or not one of the best ways for men and women to meet in the UK if you want to avoid online dating, the bars and clubs is simply when walking your dog if you have one. .

That would make very few to chose from. Its very hard to find anyone suiting both my much serious and my much joking sides so I need at least some houndred to chose from   
In Sweden best are real dance places with big dance floors. NOT tiny dance floor discos where most just go to show off their fashion clothes. 
And schools but thats to late for us      My youngest nephew found his now wife in school back when they were only 14 and 13yo.

What a load of tosh. Women and to some extent men will 'dress to impress' at any fashionable venue large or small if they are looking for a date or simply to show off.

What a tosh   
You dont get it - again.
1. Its a huge difference between
/dress up to add chance to be found interesting   (=good reason and can be good personality)
/and to do it show off   (=crap reason and crap personality.)

Lotus Eater wrote:

Larger clubs tend to attract exhibitionists.

2. Well. Mainly it isnt about size, its about type of place, because different type of places attract different type of people.

Lotus Eater wrote:

I've never been to Sweden but I have found that if you are looking to meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex - this is a politically correct forum ) then go for the smaller intimate bar. It has more atmosphere, and you can have an intelligent dialogue without being deafened - much easier to strike up a meaningful conversation. The smaller the venue the more crowded it will be and this lends itself to 'entering a person's private space' without them feeling threatened.

3. Extreem toss.
Bars are the WORST places in Sweden. To there go "The bar people" who find it important to get drunk.  NO CHANCE you get any good a atmosphere in Swedish bars nor to get an intelligent dialogue there - although drunk people can THINK its intelligent   
One step up - but still bad - are "krog" (It dont become correct if translating if only say "tavern", but its a place with a small dance floor, where most people drink to much, dominated by "bar people" but there is a small possibility an interesting person can be there by following a friend there.)
The only possible meaningful conversations in such places are when alcohol make someone extra SAD and depressed start talking about their problems.
Both these type of places are "good" if aiming at easy geting one-night-stands but NOT to find good wife material.

(To not get such protests      Bars are much different from as British type pubs where people socialice and drink but dont get drunk. Some such can have good athmosphere.)

Lotus Eater wrote:

The smaller the venue the more crowded it will be and this lends itself to 'entering a person's private space' without them feeling threatened.

The best place to do that are REAL dance places, specialy at "squeeze" dances.  Perhaps you have seen the movie "Dirty dancing"?       But mostly it isnt that hot dancing but close.
"The dance people" go there.  (=People who CAN dance and drink litle or no alcohol at all. No chance to dance any of the faster dances any good if being drunk... ) Most women in such places have the attitude saying ok to ONE dance just to be polite even if they arent interested in that man at all - IF the man isnt drunk.
((But I didnt need that politeness rule by - before my knee broke - women found me "Dance as God"      I even got picked to the region team in the speedy dance type after I had danced that type only a bit over a year.))
In difference from alcohol places, saying Yes to a dance DONT mean saying Yes to go and have one-night-stands.
THERE you can talk about good atmosphere...
Most go out to have fun in big part by dancing and talk too in between.  Finding a partner is secondary so its a bohnus when it happen. Inspite of that the success rate for finding partner for long term relations is much higher at such places than at bars...

One of my friends went to bars, but after I had given him a speed course in the simpler of the common dances and brought him to a real dance place, he said  afterwards "Never bars again" so I suppouse he liked it much better   

"Bar people" is a small part of Swedes, perhaps 10 % when including some young people of which most grow out of being it when they get older. Most become as most Swedes  ="Beach people"  = Their goal in  life is to get an own house in a suburb, a vacation in cheap beach vacation places as Mallorca and a more expensive looking car than their neighbours      =Normal rather ok people, but boooooring   

Lotus Eater wrote:

As I have stated in a previous post there are sadly very few regular bar venues in the Philippines that offer this environment.

I interpreete that as you belong to "The bar people"   

Gardo Fuentes wrote:

Just call the swindled money an investment to finding love.     

Think about it, when you court someone, you still incur costs for dating.   And then being steady for two years and always, the gentleman that you are, paying for the dates.   If it does not work out in the end and she breaks up with you, would call it being swindled?  No. 

But it's the same concept.  We try to find love, burned holes in our wallets, and it did not work out.

Just been watching the re-runs of the original TV series Star Trek from the late 60's on British Freeview TV. Lieutenant Spock found human emotions highly illogical. Without doubt the Vulcan race are way ahead of the curve here. Most readers on this Forum will have heard of expats being scammed out of 5 figure numbers by Filipinos who regard internet dating websites akin to investing in the stockmarket. Some shares (read suckers) will deliver better returns than others. Punters who are not so gullible will be regarded as bad investments or stock with a lower rate of return.

There are the initial dating costs (outlined above by Gardo) involved which I would classify as variable costs that can be deducted from petit expenses on a company ledger. Then there are the capital  costs of marriage  which for most men will entail a 50% write off - yes the divorce rate at least here in the UK is 50%. I suspect that most of the members on this site fall into this category.

We all make mistakes but its the repetition of those mistakes which often separate the winners from the losers. Many members of this forum will be guilty of the latter when dating Filipinas.

Captain Kirk ultimately took Spocks advice and never married.

Lotus Eater wrote:

There are the initial dating costs

Beside driving when woman didnt have drivers licence/car, I have spend almost nothing at my datings.
In Sweden thats easy by many Swedish women are for equality so they can even get angry if the man try to pay all.
In difference from in Sweden, in Phils I am kuripot   (=stingy)     on purpouse to make gold diggers give up and look for other targets.

Lotus Eater wrote:

Then there are the capital  costs of marriage  which for most men will entail a 50% write off - yes the divorce rate at least here in the UK is 50%. I suspect that most of the members on this site fall into this category.

Not I   
We have almost no divorces among my relatives including earlier generations and cousins.

Lotus Eater wrote:

We all make mistakes but its the repetition of those mistakes which often separate the winners from the losers. Many members of this forum will be guilty of the latter when dating Filipinas.

Well. Yes, me too but few misstakes by I have tried hard to follow the expression:

Stupid people dont learn by own misstakes.
Clever people learn by own misstakes.
Wice people learn by others' misstakes   

A few of the positives for me  about meeting women while out walking your dog are:
Firstly if you do get chatting to a woman while doing this while she is dressed in several layers of winter clothing, wellington boots and little or no makeup and you are still attracted to her it is a bonus. How many men have met a woman out at a dimly lit club or bar who is plastered in makeup only to regret their decision the next day.

Secondly it is free and compared to the prices in Sweden for booze, that has got to be a good thing and thirdly like I said before it provides a natural conversation starter.

Also somebody mentioned  meeting members of the opposite sex during their school days and this is still possible if you drop your son or daughter off at school. Look at how many mums are outside the school gates dropping their child off or waiting to pick them up and schools do have several events like parents evenings, trips out for the kids like ice skating and treasure hunts requiring the parents to tag along.

Also I think the main problem may not be the where to find women but having the courage to strike up a conversation with them.

Cherryann01 wrote:

Also somebody mentioned  meeting members of the opposite sex during their school days and this is still possible if you drop your son or daughter off at school. Look at how many mums are outside the school gates dropping their child off or waiting to pick them up and schools do have several events like parents evenings, trips out for the kids like ice skating and treasure hunts requiring the parents to tag along.

Yes, but many of them are occupied.

Cherryann01 wrote:

Also I think the main problem may not be the where to find women but having the courage to strike up a conversation with them.

Well. I needed to collect some courage before aproaching girls when I were 12yo 
but no problem since girls started running after me when I cought up in length when I were 13-14.
((I became exact average lenght from being very short compared to same aged boys. The girls sure didnt by look with my potatoe nose     but I were much more mature than same age boys and have charisma and is tough when needed. And perhaps it contributed too I turned from crap to star in soccer during these years too.))
Concerning the very beautiful girls I got no fear at all to approach - without alcohol        
By I am not normal        I dont like do say as others so to self confidient very beautiful girls I have said things as:
-I think you look as a movie star... Donald Duck.             
(Said many years ago, before nowadays many realy have duck mouths fake filled with but e g butt fat, so if anyone have kissed anyone such, you have kind of kissed a butt    haha)
- (Take up a paper from pocket and pretend to read it).  Oh my mother told me to better avoid girls as you...   
-Why do you sit here and look grumpy?    (Said rough, then smiling). No I joked. Can you write your phone number here?
(Its common  the good ones of the most beautiful girls/women feel lonely because often they dont have any female good friend because most dont want to be beside the beauties to look bad in comparing, and few boys/men dare to contact without being drunk...)

I have said such things succesfully to the good ones, but I got disliked by diva types who have a bunch of admiring GIRLS, by I dont find the divas worth to be treated as queens, but no loss by I dont like such girls/women anyway   

Back when  I were 23yo I found it time to get a steady girlfriend. I knew several girlfriend materals but far away in province where I spend summers, so to hard to have a steady girlfriend there. I lived in Stockholm, which back then didnt have any of the best types of meeting places for my age. So I started thinking how to solve that.
First I invented the "Statistic Bureau trick". Its well known in Sweden. = Bring some equipment to look as I were a real statistic interviewer.  Plan was to say:
-Good day. I am from Statistic Bureau. May I ask some questions? 
If Yes, then first ask wanted contact info as name, adress and phone number. Then inviting her to a date in question form.
Then I started walking around to find someone interesting.  But I had got so picky by comparing to them I knew allready, so I didnt find any and gave up 

Then I thought - Where are there many more girls to choose from? - Schools.
Then I started thinking how to manage to fool a highschool I am a student there.  (No problem by look by I looked younger, but it took a while to figuere out how to make them not finding out it wasnt true within the week I planed to stay there.)
It included I visited the Headmaster:
-We dont have any documents about you.
-WHAT?! What a terrible order you have of your documents.
-How did you get to know you will be student here?
-My father, who is in Switzerland this week, wrote me a note.   ("This week" because nexrt week I would be back in my import work anyway   
(I had told I had jumped of in an other school the year before.)
-Which grades did you have in Math, Physics and Chemistry?
-4, 4 and 3    (which is true and rather good in that hardest highschool course).
-Oh, said the headmasdter suprised (because I acted very messy to make it believable avoiding giving them any info they could check fast). Welcome!


But that school visit is a funny very long story what happened concerning finding a girlfriend, not to be told now 

May I ask some questions?
If Yes, then first ask wanted contact info as name, adress and phone number. Then inviting her to a date in question form.

You may not understand how creepy that sounds.

Fred wrote:

You may not understand how creepy that sounds.

You seem to have missed my success with the empty paper at dance place...
(By that I got a very beatiful, funny, succesful in sports kind of girlfriend suiting very good to my joking side.   We thought very similar concerning practical jokes fooling so we could support each other's jokes without preparing.
( ="Kind of" girlfriend by I worked office hours and compeeted some at weekends, and she worked evenings and were away at competitions even abroad almost all weekends. We compared schedules but had very seldom time when the other was free, so it ended.   But she didnt suit to my serious side long turm anyway.)

And I did succesful a bit similar, other vesion in the highschool week visit,
Its much depending of which face (expression) is related to the action   The clever ones with humor understood I joked and DIDNT find it creepy...

But as 15 yo I got bad results with SOME =them without cleverness and humour -   when I hade made different joke "business cards".  The interesting ones found them funny, while two othe not clever ones disliked the one ) had with my phone number and title as CEO.  How lkely is it a 15 yo even looking younger than that is CEO...?
Convinient to give such card when the music is loud, so I didnt needed to say any much   
When I became 17 and started real own business, I added my shoe size number   at the business card to add chance they understood it was a joke purpouse.

coach53 wrote:

And I did succesful a bit similar, other vesion in the highschool week visit,

Talk about digging a hole.

I just can't see the point in trying - especially on dating sites more likely to be populated with prostitutes and scammers than reasonable people.

My last two were teachers I met when invited to schools by headmasters. No way I bothered chatting them up - what happens, happens - what doesn't happen doesn't matter. The vast majority don't happen, but I've had a lot of really pleasant chats with lovely ladies.

I'm not even going to think about claiming some amazing success that doesn't exist. My biker with biker chick days are long gone and I know it.

I do admit to a fetish, that being fresh graduates with the ink still wet on their degree.  I find myself very much attracted to intelligent women - However, I'm old, fat, and ugly now so that's relegated to memories of days gone by.

Cherryann01 wrote:

A few of the positives for me  about meeting women while out walking your dog are:
Firstly if you do get chatting to a woman while doing this while she is dressed in several layers of winter clothing, wellington boots and little or no makeup and you are still attracted to her it is a bonus. How many men have met a woman out at a dimly lit club or bar who is plastered in makeup only to regret their decision the next day.

Secondly it is free and compared to the prices in Sweden for booze, that has got to be a good thing and thirdly like I said before it provides a natural conversation starter.

Also somebody mentioned  meeting members of the opposite sex during their school days and this is still possible if you drop your son or daughter off at school. Look at how many mums are outside the school gates dropping their child off or waiting to pick them up and schools do have several events like parents evenings, trips out for the kids like ice skating and treasure hunts requiring the parents to tag along.

Also I think the main problem may not be the where to find women but having the courage to strike up a conversation with them.

Cuts both ways. You might have a shock when those winter layers are finally removed. True, some women wear far too much war paint on a night out. What I like about Filipinas is that many will just go 'au naturelle' and inevitably due to the warm climate be wearing minimum attire.

In terms of having the courage to strike up a conversation my earlier post regarding small venues is applicable. A case in point. A few years back I had been at a terrace bar in Makati opposite what was then 'Sticky Fingers' in Greenbelt 3 having a couple of beers. On my way back to my apartment in Rockwell I passed Café Havana which was in full swing. It was packed out. At the bar I noticed a Filipina with legs to die for (Ok I'm a legs guy  ) seated at the end of the bar. NO she was not a hooker - turned out she had tagged along for the evening with her sister and boyfriend.

So I went to order a San Miguel Dry from the bar and by necessity had to lean over her to take the can and pay the check (I've always preferred the American to the British 'bill') . Immediately I was in her personal space by default. Even now I remember the aroma of her perfume  . So there I was standing there. I was making her self conscious by ignoring her. But I had figured out what my next move would be. When she was looking the other way I pressed my ice cold beer can 'by accident' against her thigh knowing the resulting reaction. Bingo. I apologised profusely and offered her a drink by way of apology. We ended up dating. Most males hate the fear of rejection. Imagine being in one of those large impersonal Swedish or British cattle markets (sorry nightclubs) going on a route march to ask a girl for a dance who politely refuses. Been there, done it, stopped doing it at 21.

Fred wrote:

Talk about digging a hole.

What logic is that?!      
It functioned in different versions.
I dont talk like that to lower self asteam women, which can become sad, when the self confidient beautiful ones with humor find it funny when said to them.  What the beautiful divas with no humour think about it, I dont bother about anyway. And why would I bother what jelous men think about it? 

Fred wrote:

I just can't see the point in trying - especially on dating sites more likely to be populated with prostitutes and scammers than reasonable people.

Well. I know many good Filipinas - at friend level not suiting me - who have told me they are very frustrated by they went to datingsites aiming at serious relations, but got contact only with crap men not aiming at serious relation at all, only trying to get NUDE chats...

So IF you have been on datingsites and reached such results, it seem you have bad "scammer radar" 
But no problem with scammers anywhere anyway, just dont give them anything   

((During the years I have never been scamed by women anywhere, but I have been scamed by businessMEN twice in Sweden, when  I didnt bother to protect myself any much because they would have earned much better if they HADNT been STUPID and scamed me and done the agreed instead.  I didnt expected them to be that stupid         I didn't lose any much money anyway, but they wasted my time.))

Fred wrote:

My last two were teachers I met when invited to schools by headmasters. No way I bothered chatting them up - what happens, happens - what doesn't happen doesn't matter.

Of course it can matter, because by not trying you dont know what would have happened if you have tried.

But we men dont need to talk any much.  Most women expect men to START the contact. After that most prefer men who show interest by asking some and then LISTEN   

((Back when I had the joking business cards as teenager, sometimes I didnt talk at all   

Fred wrote:

I've had a lot of really pleasant chats with lovely ladies.

Thats good   
But you dont know what you have missed by not trying...

Fred wrote:

I'm not even going to think about claiming some amazing success that doesn't exist.

If you refer to me thats a STUPID coment   
I have done much more things than that by I like "impossible" challenges.

Fred wrote:

I do admit to a fetish, that being fresh graduates with the ink still wet on their degree.  I find myself very much attracted to intelligent women - However, I'm old, fat, and ugly now so that's relegated to memories of days gone by.

You seem to have missunderstood something concerning me.  The told TRUE stories I told about Sweden were about when I were young.

I did NOT look any special as young neither with my potatoe nose, but many women are much wicer than men concernning chosing partner. The divas, look for OUTSIDE things though as handsome - OR money    though but so what? - I dont find them interesting anyway even if they would be the most beautiful in the world, because they are selfish divas and dont talk about anything interesting.
BUT many of the good women get attracted by PERSONALITY instead, which make almost all men have chance at them  if have or develop a personality they like. 
((I SWITCH to one of my other personalies when I meet a woman without good self asteam, so NOT rough joking as in sport team with good team mentality. If they are very sad I even switch to "free thrink"  but such add risk to end up in "The friend zone", when it could have been something more.
Back when I were teenager I even went in first with jacket closed to check if any interesting and if so which type.  Then I chosed if sending in my button shirt or tshirt version     with different personalities.  NOT acting. My serious side have allways been much different from my joking side, and back I had I had special mood for sport competition as well as very tough when needed too.
As OLD I perhaps look a bit better than average for my age by being better preserved though     In difference from most classmates I suppouse they would recognize me.  When I many years later came back to a province dance place I had been as teenager, some recogniced me!  Although they had some problem to remember from where   

Lotus Eater wrote:

seated at the end of the bar. NO she was not a hooker - turned out she had tagged along for the evening with her sister and boyfriend.

Yes. It was such not going to bars normaly, I talked about being possible good EXCEPTIONS in bars.

Lotus Eater wrote:

So there I was standing there. I was making her self conscious by ignoring her

Yes thats a curiousity rather many women have.

But it works when not wanting to too       
E g back when girls started running after me as 13-14 yo I found it funny/interesting the first week, but then I found it annoying. When I tried to solve it by ignoring, then it became much worse.
Some later one girl even flirted with my FRIEND, driver to dances by he was older with car,  to get closer to me, but then my friend found it better to find it to short of space to bring me and drive the two girls and our other friend.  We that girl noticed I wasnt there, she lost interest... 

An other "funny" things is many specialy younger girls/women like "bad boys".  I have never been  a realy bad boy, but perhaps seen as one by I did fight against bad behaving bad boys, so before I moved I had many girls running after me. 
BUT when I moved to an other province, when I started own business when I were 24yo,  I thought it was time to try to get a suiting wife, so I did let only my very nice side move there.
Result: No girls/women were interested, many even said No thanks when I asked them to dance.
Much later a friend told me it had came a bus load from elsewhere than I went but from my old province. I suppouse I switched my face to the look I have left there, because almost direct came the most beautiful woman from that bus load and asked me to dance. Then them, who had said No thanks before, noticed that and I suppouse they woindered why, and got interested and started asking me to dance all the time, so I had to escape to the mens toilet to get some rest      

Lotus Eater wrote:

Most males hate the fear of rejection.

Its a self astreem thing. Since I were 13-14 and became good in sports too when I cought up in length,  I have never been short of self asteem, so I dont bother about if get rejected.  (Common in "fashion discos" very seldom elsewhere. I have never bothered about fashion.)  Not being affraid of being rejected ADD CHANCE at women by most women like good self asteem - WITHOUT boasting.  When someone asked what I worked with I only said type of business I worked in WITHOUT telling it was the owner

Lotus Eater wrote:

Imagine being in one of those large impersonal Swedish or British cattle markets (sorry nightclubs) going on a route march to ask a girl for a dance who politely refuses. Been there, done it, stopped doing it at 21.

Yes.  I only went to such many years ago very seldom "to look at the monkeys"        
Some call them "dance places" but in my definition they are NOT.  "Dance people" go to other places with much biger dance floors and with huge difference in attitude...

Lotus Eater wrote:

Captain Kirk ultimately took Spocks advice and never married.

True.  Tying this to the expat.com forum though, one of the ways to live as PR there is through marriage to a local so I can see that repetition of mistakes is sometimes unavoidable until true love is found.

So IF you have been on datingsites and reached such results, it seem you have bad "scammer radar" 

After seeing scams on here (they get banned in short order) and on other sites, I took a good look at a selection of places mentioned by others - not for any attempt to find women, more to see what these sites were - I saw, I clicked off.
Seriously, they were rubbish. If a man, probably a pathetic one, is looking for a maid cum prostitute cum slave combo, they're perfect.
Not perfect because he'll find a sex object that'll wash his dirty underwear on command - more perfect because the sad little sod will very likely get his wallet spanked. Still, men like that are probably too stupid to realise they're being used as idiots by scammers.

Bob has the reality of these crappy sites bang on in his opening post, but he didn't mention how sad and pathetic many of the men who use these sites are.

As a note for the terminally stupid, "cum" is used as the Latin loan word, not a quote from a dating site. 

As I'm a inclusive sort of chap, I should mention there's a thread on another section of expat.com populated by women that have fallen for the same scam with men.
See, not only men are idiotic enough to fall for these things.

Signed,
Woke Fred

Fred wrote:

So IF you have been on datingsites and reached such results, it seem you have bad "scammer radar" 

After seeing scams on here (they get banned in short order) and on other sites, I took a good look at a selection of places mentioned by others - not for any attempt to find women, more to see what these sites were - I saw, I clicked off.
Seriously, they were rubbish.

So you dont only have a bad "scammer radar" - sating ALL are scammers is a terrible "scammer radar" too     -  you are bad at judge, who are the good ones, not finding any at all!

Among the women, who complaned to me about most MEN at such datingsites werent serious, only wanting them to show nude when these women expected serious conversation to get to know each other,  are teacher, OFW nurse, secrertary/assistant to the boss in a big office...

Just too see how hard it is - I am not looking for a wife now - I looked at profiles in DateinAsia. (I noticed its possible to look WITHOUT loging in.)  Some obvious warning even saying they look for old "generous" men 
While others being teacher, nurse, business woman^... and many college/university students...
I didnt contact them, but if any of these later ones is scammer, it can be noticed by communicating with them and ask much to make them say something not suiting to what they said an other day.  Or just wait    and see if they try to get something financial...

*But big part of the best ones I know personaly are basicly farmers daughters of which some have got education and moved to city/OFW. 
E g three sisters with an alcoholic father, who lost their farm. The sisters took turns supporting each other during study.  Two teachers and one computer education. One is OFW now while I believe the others have work in the Philippines.
Among the profiles I looked at now, one is farmers daughter. She included in her profile an adress to her Youtube - as she said to show she is real.   I looked at a few of her videos and she is obvious a good one, working in their farm...  But to young for me anyway   

There was one time when I was still looking for romance that I found one online and we hit it off. 

It started with chatting, then sharing of pics, then phone calls/video chats.  Then the trip for a face-to-face.   She is supposed to meet me by the airport but she did not show up  .   

Disheartened, went to my booked hotel, bought local SIM card, texted her  and slept.  By 6 a.m. the next day I woke and found  numerous texts from her asking where we could meet.  Apparently she just played it safe.   Can't really blame her. 

Anyways, short story, we met, became close friends up to this day.  Maybe there will be a second chapter when I finally move back there (?).

Sad to hear South Korea pulled out from FIBA Asian Qualifiers due to Covid.    Meanwhile, the NZ Tall Blacks and India team have arrived there. 

India will have a marquee player in Princepal Singh, who plays in the NBA G League.   Singh is a 6'10 player who has nasty ambition to dominate and showcase his skills in FIBA. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQuaCcIZFNQ&t=5s