Single male retiree from US - dating options

Living here you ARE an ATM .you are in any 3rd world country

You can find someone but with your requirements it will be some work. I take it you dont speak Spanish as you want someone who speaks English.

The  ATM thing is always hangin around as David mentions but women want security so expect that is part of the bargain.

But yeah be careful and think with your cabaza arriba no la de abajo.  Anything is possible.

USexpat707....Obviously you have never been to Costa Rica and already planning to hook up with a Tica.....What a formula ! When you get involved with a Tica,you get involved with her whole family,her ex's and other 2 legged rats hovering in the background.Basically you'll be the one everybody latches onto financially from her side.If you want someone your financial equal,stay with a gringa.Don't let your remains be dumped along the"Braulio Carrillo Highway",like it has happen to a few.

I guess you are too idealistic. How do you know she isn't after your money? Surely you have to try but Be careful and stay safe.

Im going to take the other side of the coin here. Having a large family is not bad always is it? I married a Mexican woman last year who I first met 30 years ago. She has a large family most of whom I know and am happy to be invited into the family (at least more into the family now that Im married in) and the few who I dont like my wife doesnt really like either. Most are ok and help out each other including us occasionally.
As for the money sure most are looking for security. Some are going to lie and pretend love etc and just be looking for money.
If someone cant figure that out then they maybe get what they deserve.
And Gringas being best? Come on what kind of person believes that. Gringas are much more problematic in general and carry a lot of baggage than most latinas.
And kids yes you will probably have to be involved with to some degree but depending on the kids that may not be all bad either.
Luckily I never had kids nor did my wife so we dont have that problem.
best of luck expat 707. Keep trying and it is possible. Although do be careful.

you're better off looking for another nice retiree or expat maybe from another country  like yourself who has their own money....you also have to think of cultural norms and that many Ticas may expect their men to provide for them. This is a latin, catholic country...large families, women tend to stay home and be caregivers while the men go out and work....theres probably dating sites you can check out down there....

I spent 2 weeks in CR about 10 years ago. Mainly visited as a tourist, retirement wasn't on my mind then. For the last 1 year or so, I have been researching about living there on a longer term basis. I have read lot of blogs about culture, quality of life etc. People have advised to stay clear of economically deprived Ticas as they may be very desperate to latch on.

My ideal partner would be someone that has built their own life independently. Has a college education, regular job - a professional outlook teaches people many things that apply to personal life. I understand that limits the choices to mainly around San Jose area. Parts of which are Gringo like. Is it reasonable to find English speaking Ticas who are familiar with Western customs, they might have travelled the world through their jobs, developed a broader outlook. I am trying to limit the cultural differences and wondering if that's a real possibility.

Personally for myself, I have very realistic expectations. While I will try to embrace CR culture, it's going to take lot of time. It not easy to move from 1st world to a developing country, leave your social network and move to a new world. Plus I don't know Spanish at all, and it will be a very slow learning process to develop any decent fluency that one can have in-depth conversations. There is a huge cultural divide for sure. Thus I am looking for a Tica who is closer to Western culture than I am to their culture. Not sure if it's realistic at all. So, looking to this forum for advice and real world experiences.

I have been drawn towards Latin culture for their warm, friendly and easy going outlook in life. However, there are certain aspects of Latinas which I find very intriguing

1. Latinas seem to have a much longer list of ex'es than Gringas. Why is that, is it harder for them to maintain relationships?

2. There's much more teenage pregnancies, unwed mothers, single mothers in Latin culture. On one hand, they are known to be very family oriented. But then why so many single mothers where kids are raised in 'broken' families?

3. Likewise, they can have multiple kids, often from different fathers. This feels so weird

4. Infidelity is much higher in their culture. Why is that?

Hola,I've been married to my Tica for 17 years.When we met I was 44 and she was 22.  We have two beautiful kids together, a boy and a girl,we live on the beach in Guanacaste and have a beautiful life.I was warned about all the things that I read about in this topic but none of that came true.My advice to anyone who wants to start a relationship in Costa Rica is use common sense to protect yourself against unworthy people.Learn Spanish is another thing you must do.Costa Rican women are very beautiful, and age very well.I've  had very good luck here,and I've enjoyed my 20 years here immensely, Pura Vida. ..

Buen Hecho Surffeaver!!!

Check the laws  before  any dating  or hook ups.its on the net. If your girlfriend lives with you continously  for 3 years not only does she practically own you her family  has rights  to your stuff.be careful. The law will favor  their  own before  you.

Keep all your guards up fella, Dating in CR is a risky journey
I've been living here coming up on 2 years and dated some here. It's difficult because many don't speak English, they will look at you as a rich gringo and Tica's are extremely extremely jealous.  Check with the embassy to get some guidance, I have a friend who works for US embassy here and most what comes across her desk is American men getting robbed and some killed.  CR has legal prostitution and many Will join Tinder looking for a Gringo to Roll

I have a great Tica lady now but took me a year and a half in the weeds to find her

Just proceed with caution and good luck in your move

Thank you for all the responses so far. Being careful and using common sense is certainly paramount!! Keep the feedback coming..

Most (not all) Ticas will expect you to take care of them and don't be surprised if they give you a list of the things they want you to buy for them.  What you are looking for is a unicorn.  And guess what?  The men are also leeches.

Lol Ginger. So true. I recommend any single guy live in CR for a year before  they dabble in a real relationship. Lwarn the laws.you might be surprised

Very good advice!!!...... in here!!!

This was in post #9. Copying below for reference. Interested in hearing your perspectives

I have been drawn towards Latin culture for their warm, friendly and easy going outlook in life. However, there are certain aspects of Latinas which I find very intriguing

1. Latinas seem to have a much longer list of ex'es than Gringas. Why is that, is it harder for them to maintain relationships?

2. There's much more teenage pregnancies, unwed mothers, single mothers in Latin culture. On one hand, they are known to be very family oriented. But then why so many single mothers where kids are raised in 'broken' families?

3. Likewise, they can have multiple kids, often from different fathers. This feels so weird

4. Infidelity is much higher in their culture. Why is that?

Catholic culture. Combined with Spanish. It's the same in the Philippines, although worse actually due to greater lack of college education.  I've been there 7 years on and off. Not much sex education, infrequent use of birth control, divorce is prohibited, large families common, not many decent jobs to support a family, so the boys run when they get a girl pregnant.. everyone is a cousin, lol.  The cycle of poverty gets repeated.

The end result of all this is just what you described. I know you specifically asked about Costa Rica but there are lots of parallels, and no one else was answering..

Sounds like you are describing inner city America and Rural America as I have worked in both situations AND by the way birth control is very easy to get in the US.  Look up Title X.  No one should criticize a culture's belief system if it's founded  on religious principle such as Catholicism in this case.  Let's be careful saying negative things about this  culture or others since we are looking through American eyeglasses.  I am positive that some of the issues countries have with teens is MAINLY due to all the Social Media platforms some of them live on and moronic parents allow  it.

Yes and no to your post.  If CR actually lived to the Catholic religion these kids wouldn't be getting pregnant until they were married and correct, no birth control as that too goes against church doctrine.  Not being negative for their beliefs, being negative because of the hypocrisy.  They are not all following church doctrine.  Now, all babies, out of wedlock or not seem to be well loved and accepted by family.  As you said, this is their culture.  Of course part of it could be because if there is a single mom, no man around; and she can get a piece of land (donated or bought), the government will build her a house for free.  Once they have the house, it isn't unusual for the boyfriend to start coming around again.

One of the issues that was highlighted was "lack of college education". I understand CR has no army, spends a good portion of GDP on education, population has high levels of basic education. Yet, why is the college education lacking? Likewise, is the economy vibrant enough to produce "enough quality"  jobs?

Economy here sucks. They just borrowed over a billion dollars from the controller  IMF. Roadside check points are often. Taxes raised. Gas prices up on and on. You have other options.

Yeah I have read up about the sobering economy, lack of quality jobs for the citizens.

When we see things like "kids being born out of wedlock", "long history of ex-es", "domestic violence".. Can Ticas make for loyal partners if they are cared and supported well in relationship?

Good question that can't particularly be answered, as it depends on individuals, both you and your potential partner. We can't stereotype people here. I don't yet live in CR but will have the same expectations once I'll move. Don't pay attention to negative answers, as people could have different type of experience. Believe in yourself, stay confident and you'll find what and who you need. Isn't it exciting to face the unknown? It is called life.

IMHO, Costa Rica is a great country to live in but not a good country to learn espanol in.  Ticos talk fast and cut off syllables in their words.  It is to me almost impossible to understand because even if you can recognize a word, in spanish context is everything.  .  If you want to learn spanish, go live in Columbia for a few years.  In general Columbian's pronounce their words and speak much slower.  Get to where you can understand what they are saying THEN move to Costa Rica and you might have a chance of leaning Tico espanol.   
Go online to find a woman with your requirements list.  That is how I met mi novia.  I would take a Tica over a gringa any day of the week.  No offence to any gringa reading this, just my own experience.  Tica's love their FAITHFUL mates, and their families.  If you get a Tica your getting her family too.  If it's a poor family it is their natural expectation you will help them.  Hence the prior ATM comment.

I hope your up on all the relationships laws.

Enter with Caution
Tica have the right away with it comes to the laws here Dating /living together or Marriage
I have a friend at the US embassy here and she tells me the daily stories of the American guys banging on the door because the were hustled by a Tica
some Americans have even vanished

You will here a few famous Gringo/Tica stories when you spend time here

I was lucky to meet a Successful Gorgeous Intelligent Tica who speaks English and things have been going great
But on the flip side I have met some serious jealous Tica's and some looking for the ATM guy,

My advise just keep you guard up at all times and don't sleep with them at first or take them back to your place
I hear many like to extort gringos by threatening to go to the police or OIJ that they have been raped

Communication was my biggest problem meeting a Tica. Not many speak English

I know few post that many of us post negative reviews of CR. I think you should know all the Good and the Bad
Rather then thinking CR is all paradise

It's good to read pros and cons. The thing to remember is all opinions are subjective. There are some on this site who are just negative people. No country on Earth is perfect. Being happy in CR all depends on the personal reasons for relocating there and one's ability to embrace challenge as learning opportunities.

I'm not living in CR yet, but am looking forward to starting my adventure and embracing a new culture... the good and the bad.

haha.  well more or less.  but we do not live together.  she has her own casa.  She wants me to live with her in HER casa at some point in the future.  When it gets to the planning stage I'll get some updated advise.  Thanks for the headsup.

As we all know, there are good and bad people in every country on Earth.  Men need to think with the head on their necks and keep aware and pay attention to who the girl you like is hanging with.  If she immediately bring her “brother” to visit you or go out with you make sure it's not her boyfriend or husband.

Well said
As members repeatedly say in here. Come and experience CR for yourself and see if it's right for you
We all see it differently through our eyes and we all live in different areas of CR
A lot of my negative post are from what I have experienced in the Escazu and San Jose area

Now that I'm in the mountains tops of Puriscal it's a different CR to me.

All an All I'm have been digging my 2 years here with the Good and the Bad.
Just come with a open mind and stay cautious just like in any Central America country you decide to visit or call home
If you decide to date go slow (guys or girls). Also I learned a new Scary fact last week. Herpes is very big issue here because Tico men run around a lot with Ticas and prostitutes AND THEY DO NOT USE CONDOMS
so infection rate is big here.  I met a girl who was professional business woman and thanks she was honest with me that she had herpes from her last boyfriend

So please use you head on your shoulders before the other. and lady's please do the same

Hope I don't offend anyone with this just figured it was something we should know about

Sporto, what are the websites to meet a tica? I am fed up with gringo women, I want to find a normal one. Yes, I'll take a chance. Did all my life.

Henry

Tinder and Bumble work in CR just be prepared many don't speak English so you will have to with do translator or not accept connection

I met my current Tica on Tinder

I've learned some Spanish, can speak (my 4th language) but will need practice to understand people. We'll see. Another adventure in the retirement age.

Plenty here for the honky white boy.

IF you want to be a dad then you may be able to find a professional Tica who needs a husband for herself and daddy for her kids.

Finding a woman who doesn't have or want kids is nearly impossible anywhere, but especially here. (You didn't mention if you want kids or not but if not ,then your goal will be much harder to reach.) The younger women who date are either with kids from a dad who left them, or will want to have kids. The older ones will already have kids for sure.

And like someone said above you will be marrying into the family and it is true that they see all Gringos as rich even if you're not. If you like family life then it could work out well for you if you manage to avoid the gold diggers. My advice is don't get married for at least several years after being with someone.

I think you could certainly date (though learning Spanish will help a lot!) but finding someone who is younger than you or your age even, without kids or doesn't want kids is a needle in a haystack.

And marriage here is complicated. If you get someone pregnant and didn't want to you are really screwed. They'll do a DNA test and you'll PAY for the child if they can find you.

And yes, the "living with" situation could also get you in trouble at 3 years when it's something like "common law" marriage.

So it all depends on what you want. There are definitely good Ticas who would be good wives!

So again, if that sounds okay to you, go for it. If not, try meeting a gringa instead. Much better chance of finding a gringa who doesn't want kids and has a steady professional job. And here even professional women don't make much money for the most part.

But anywhere in the world, most women want kids and if they have kids and are single they want a dad for the kids. That's just a fact of life.

sporto505 wrote:

IMHO, Costa Rica is a great country to live in but not a good country to learn espanol in.  Ticos talk fast and cut off syllables in their words.  It is to me almost impossible to understand because even if you can recognize a word, in spanish context is everything.  .  If you want to learn spanish, go live in Columbia for a few years.  In general Columbian's pronounce their words and speak much slower.  Get to where you can understand what they are saying THEN move to Costa Rica and you might have a chance of leaning Tico espanol.   
Go online to find a woman with your requirements list.  That is how I met mi novia.  I would take a Tica over a gringa any day of the week.  No offence to any gringa reading this, just my own experience.  Tica's love their FAITHFUL mates, and their families.  If you get a Tica your getting her family too.  If it's a poor family it is their natural expectation you will help them.  Hence the prior ATM comment.

I learned Spanish at a school in San Jose (after having studied quite a bit in the USA with non-native teachers). In San Jose the school I went to taught very proper Spanish.

And most of the people in San Jose speak better Spanish than in the back country and beaches here.
I can almost always understand the people in San Jose. But in the country side where I live I can barely understand them at all sometimes. My friend (Tico) speaks very bad Spanish and he mumbles and slurs words etc and I have learned to understand him about 80% of the time but still I have to ask him to repeat stuff often. My wife spoke fluent Spanish and even she had trouble understanding some of the people around here! She also had a Peruvian friend in the US who spoke so fast she couldn't understand her half the time!

I think the only way to learn the Spanish "of the back country" in Costa Rica is to first learn Spanish then just spend a lot of time talking to people in the region you live in. But yea, some of the people "out in the country" are VERY hard to understand. In San Jose I understand almost everyone. Not here in the countryside.

Bottom line is I don't think there's anything wrong with learning Spanish in Costa Rica. Wherever you learn it you will likely NOT find it easy to understand people in the campo or countryside in Costa Rica. But you will eventually learn enough to understand most of it.

And it takes years of practice for most people to speak and understand Spanish fluently. But you will learn much faster when you live in a Spanish speaking country and/or have a Spanish speaking girlfriend!

And some learn faster than others.

What I will say is that it is, to me, ESSENTIAL to learn Spanish if you're going to live here. Without it you will miss out on too much! Just jump in, start learning asap even if it's just online, and study the books for verb conjugations and vocabulary meanings too. All that will focus you and you will learn faster. Also try watching tv like soap operas in Spanish - if possible, with subtitles in Spanish so you can see the words as they speak them.