Divorce

Doesn't seem to be in anyone's interest to drag this out. Did you engage a solicitor in the divorce (advocat)? If so they have what is called "a duty of care" towards you as a client. Go back to them and ask exactly what it is the courts want and how to obtain it. If you get stuck come back and I''ll ask a couple of (tunisian) lawyer contacts i know to see if tbey can help.

Hello all

@ fredy123 : Here is the list of lawyers who registered themselves in our business directory : Lawyers in Sousse

Maybe you could contact them to see how they can help you.

Regards
Kenjee
Expat.com Team

Carole Reynolds wrote:

Doesn't seem to be in anyone's interest to drag this out. Did you engage a solicitor in the divorce (advocat)? If so they have what is called "a duty of care" towards you as a client. Go back to them and ask exactly what it is the courts want and how to obtain it. If you get stuck come back and I''ll ask a couple of (tunisian) lawyer contacts i know to see if tbey can help.

Janey Johnson wrote:

Carole Reynolds wrote:

Doesn't seem to be in anyone's interest to drag this out. Did you engage a solicitor in the divorce (advocat)? If so they have what is called "a duty of care" towards you as a client. Go back to them and ask exactly what it is the courts want and how to obtain it. If you get stuck come back and I''ll ask a couple of (tunisian) lawyer contacts i know to see if tbey can help.

Hi Janey and welcome to the forum
Please do not cut and paste but you are welcome to write your own posts. Thank you.

sorry, new to this, did not realize had done it

and it looks like I have done it twice!!!

this might have something to do with the fact that you married her to get a British Passport!  You had this in March 2011 and you left her in April 2011.  You started divorce proceedings in May 2011!  Are you sure you have not spoken to her?  Are you sure there are no financial problems?

Get  yourself a decent lawyer. If you need one in Sousse I have details.

Janey Johnson wrote:

this might have something to do with the fact that you married her to get a British Passport!  You had this in March 2011 and you left her in April 2011.  You started divorce proceedings in May 2011!  Are you sure you have not spoken to her?  Are you sure there are no financial problems?

The unfortunate fate of 95% of people who marry partners from the developing world and, I am sorry to say, it's worse in N Africa.

Indeed Sven and that's why other web sites are devoted to the horror stories of European/Australian/American etc women falling for the cons and scams spread by the "Beeznees" Boys.  They say "love is blind"  but it truly is for educated women to fall for these creeps.

Websites, on-line dating sites (global) are one of their tools for targeting women.  This site included so BEWARE dear reader!!  As well as the face-to-face creepy activity that they get up to!  Spoils the reputation of Tunisia as a whole and also tars decent Tunisian people with the same reputation.  Even the Tunisian government is so sick of it they are looking to use the law to stop these types of marriages.

Anyhow, women of the world ARE fighting back by lobbying their respective governments to crack down on sham marriages.  Amazing isn't it that under Islamic law a man MUST be able to financially support his wife/offspring; yet a non-Tunisian woman appears and hey presto, she's then expected to support the entire family/extended family.  I ask these brainwashed women - would you allow a man to treat you the way these men do, in your own country NO of course not, so why do the rules change because you're in Tunisia? 

Personally I would NEVER date a Tunisian man unless he was well educated, been out of the country, free (single or divorced - which is hardly ever!) had a decent day job or independent means such as a company pension or investments and treated me as an equal.  Ergghhh that's why I've only ever dated one in nine months but then walked away ... very quickly.... when I found out he's lied on several counts..... what a lot of women don't realise is that the majority of marriages here are NOT about love but about financial gain.  Rather like the feudal days of old. 

It is known and quite accepted that married men have a mistress and some even have a boyfriend as well. No wonder they rarely go home.  They are too busy drinking coffee with their male entourage or making house calls to lovers!!

On a positive note there are kind and decent Tunisian people, of course there are, but those are rarely the ones that make marriages with foreigners.  Like the UK Asian community they will mix and share their culture but rarely marry outside of it.

I have been coming out to Tunisia for 26 years and I said I would never go with a Tunisian man how wrong I was I was on holiday 2 1/2 years ago on my own and I see this Tunisian guy and I am not a young silly person i fell in love with this guy who did not smile he did not speak to anybody he just said to me good morning how are you where are you going on the day I was coming home he asked me would I like his phone number and Facebook I said yes I thought he was so much older maybe 45 I had the biggest shock when I found out he was only 29 I never been married I have met his family and we have been together like I say Futuna half years we got engaged at Christmas and we are hoping to get married next year he as never ever asked me for anything my girls were very sceptical but are now very happy for me because they know our happy I am when I am with him he does not want to come to England maybe I would love to come and live in Tunisia as I love the country so so much there are good and there are bad and I have been very very fortunate to have met a wonderful loving caring man and his family are taking me into them and I love then just as much

I wish you well but for the majority and I MEAN the majority these relationships do not work.  Maybe for a few years but not for the long term, even when there has been contact for many years.

I have a British friend now living together with her Tunisian man.  She's known him for 8 years and started living with him this year.  He is a mature person (48) and has a professional job.  He is divorced and has a grown up daughter.  He's been a welcoming step parent to my friend's children.  I've met him several times and can say that he seems on the level.  He contributes to the family household.  But this is one of the rare ones.

Despite their outward European dress/mentality, religion dictates the "modus operandi" for these people.  It is culturally engrained in them to marry and produce children.  Why do you think there are so many miserably married people here?  Reach a certain age and if you've not found yourself a partner one will be found for you and you will marry irrespective of your personal wishes.

No matter what they say about age doesn't matter, they don't want children THEY DO!!  Unless of course older and already have them and don't want to go through child rearing years again.

Of course not all of them are bad... but like I say, they rarely make successful marriages outside of their own culture and religion even the ones that have lived in Europe or America. 

I know people from the European community that have lived and worked here from 5-15 years.  All of them agree with me.  Women are 2nd class citizens here.  Women are for housework and bearing children, plus a primary/secondary income.  Women only got the vote here very late around 1956 which to me speaks volumes!!

We are all entitled to the life we want and I wish you well.  I would only urge you to be highly cautious in how you approach things and before you do ANYTHING I'd speak to a lawyer and understand what your rights here are in this country.  I know plenty of women that didn't and have had their lives devastated both financially and emotionally.

Good luck.

PS I came here because I'd had enough of a high pressured long hours working life and this was one of the few places that I could live cheaply.  If I had funds I'd be in Spain.  However, the trade off for me is a hard one.  To gain a non-working life (well for now at least) would be closing the door to a relationship with a man again for the remainder of my life, unless of course I could find a European or American guy that was interested in me - unlikely.

As a woman I'm still mystified what other women find in Tunisian men that I can't see!!     I've had loads of approaches from Tunisian men and apart from one that I dated for 2 months, I just can't see the attraction either from a physical point of view and certainly not the mentality.  But we are all different I guess.   

Good luck and best wishes for your future.

The "attraction" to many N African men is that they are prepared to marry women far older than themselves to get a visa or money. In the process of this, they will lie and cheat, say how beautiful she is, say how much he loves her - all the time seeing his appropriately-aged Tunisian girlfriend. All this ends the second they get what they want, an out to Europe or the West. Or the moment the poor woman's money and savings are exhausted. The poor woman is overwhelmed as she often thinks she has no chance at a married life again, then along comes a hunk and her head turns.

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure".

Carole789. Another thing is that lying is an acceptable part of life in N Africa. This includes lying to friends and family, but is at its most extreme when used against foreigners. They are so convincing. I have people simply lying to me at work for no reason at all. One guy said he had a villa in Ain Diab and was going on about how he'd invite me one day. I followed up a couple of times but he always had an excuse, the workmen were in, his parents were using it for a function or whatever. I found out he actually lives with his parents in an insalubrious area. When I challenged him and asked why he'd been feeding me bull, he wasn't at all embarrassed. He just said, "Well, it could have been true". I've had similar tall stories from others here in Morocco. Don't believe a word anyone tells you until you've checked it - and then check it again!

Sven

everything you say is right but you need to be saying it to the women with Tunisian boyfriends!

I'm "street wise" and have never fallen for their bluff.  I've been here 9 months had countless numbers of offers; direct approaches, indirect approaches, men writing their number on the back of my hand, leaving messages under my car windscreen wipers, being stalked, my apartment being watched - the list is endless.  But, as much as I don't want to be alone for the remainder of my days, rather that than get tangled up with a man who wants me purely for monetary gain.  The worst for me is also the strangle hold that the family/extended family have over you.  Women are still viewed as property here and expected to obey.  I've yet to meet a truly enlightened Tunisian man and I've met many professionals.  My younger British friend has been married to a Tunisian man for years and has two children.  Most of their married life she's lived here with the children while he works in the UK.  He says it's to build the future but he gives her no support in child rearing at all.  As for the Tunisian family - they NEVER come to see their grandchildren.  Like it or not we are are still outsiders and not truly accepted.  Many fail to understand the nature of the Berber people.  (I wish folk would stop referring to Tunisians as Arabs because they're not!)

Age should never be the main criteria for choosing a life partner; however, men don't generally go for women 25 years younger and Tunisian men ALWAYS want children.  Personally, I'd NEVER be interested in any man that's not educated, travelled and self sufficient in all ways.  All this "you have beautiful eyes the colour of the sea" (actually I do, but you can tell the difference between a genuine compliment and rehearsed lines designed to reel you in.)

It would be great to have a relationship again, but not at any price.  For me being with a man is about loving not material gain.  Being a liberated woman it horrifies me that, despite being in the 21st century and Tunisia being one of the most liberated countries women are still treated as chattels.  There's a lot of lip-service paid to "respect" but seldom is it seen in day to day life.

I understand what you say about the lies.  Although it may seem an unkind thing to say, it is in some ways true that many Tunisians feel inferior to Europeans.  Everything is about show.  You only have to look in the clubs etc when the guys come in, and immediately throw down on the table their car keys, mobile phone and order a half bottle of whiskey.  They're not there to enjoy themselves they're there to be seen.  I've had all the bragging but ask a few pointed questions and you see an embarrassed face!!  They also have a "caste" society mentality which isn't overt so not recognised; again I find this appalling.   

My entry into life in Tunisia has been a "baptism by fire".  Even lawyers aren't trustworthy!  However, the flip side of that is that I've learnt quickly.  I now have decent and reliable friends around me (British, French, Danish, Libyan) and the few Tunisians that have helped me are not in it for money, they're just nice family guys that recognise that a lady on her own in a foreign country sometimes needs a bit of help.

I check everything myself.  I trust no one until they've proved themselves.  I now have a good lawyer.  I would NEVER do any business arrangement with a Tunisian. I write on a number of web sites advising people to enjoy the country but be aware of the pitfalls. 

Thanks Sven.  Keep helping those who need it.

Good heart ❤ Tunisian men and women
But not all😉

I wish i have read about this before. I am from Philippines and married a Tunisian guy 10 years ago. We both used to work in UAE and we got married there. He was divorced from his 1st wife (tunisian woman) and with 2 daughters. I was blinded before, did not check anything but only cared for being inlove with him. It was a hell. He is a womanizer and slept with a lot of women. I am stupid to stay with him. We have a 6 yrs old son. In 2011 i decided to leave UAE and go back in my country. I thought i will get over him. But he started to be nice again and so i took him back. He works in Tunisia as translator/interpreter, i work here in my country. He comes twice a year to be with me and my son or we come there in Tunisia. That was our life since 2011 coz i didnt get any job in Tunisia so i only come there for holiday.

Until July of this year, just few months ago, he messaged me on messenger saying he is divorcing me coz he found a younger tunisian girl, like 17 yrs younger than him. I was devastated, i love my husband of course. I found out who the girl is, i contacted her nicely just to let her know i exists and our son. The girl said my husband told her we are only married on papers but separated for ages. LOL. He was just here last March 2016 and you can see in his passport and mine how many times we go here and there to see each other. The girl also said that i must work hard by myself to raise my son and should stop asking for child support. Now, my husband is nowhere to be found. He cut and blocked all our means of communications. I heard he is preparing for his marriage. Im wondering how will it be if we are still married??? I am praying that my husband will remember to give at least child support. I am still crying for help and dont know what to do.

I hope someone can advice me what office or department i can contact in Tunisia so i cna ask for child support from him. Thanks for reading.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like the court in Nabeul is requiring a post office recommendation letter to proceed with your divorce, but you're unsure how to obtain this from either the UK or Tunisia. My recommendation would be to contact a lawyer who specializes in international family law to get advice and guidance on how to obtain this document and proceed with your divorce. They can help navigate the legal system and provide you with the necessary information and resources to move forward.