Single Father with kids

Welcome to Expat.com ZorroMask!

Hope that you'll soon be advised.

Harmonie

Dear .. love for all of ur little kids... wishing them nice loving and safe life. ........... simple answer is this that all the things u can have here very easily if ur living in nice and expensive compounds ,, many compounds with schools ...rest all of things are very easy u can keep nanny 24 a day for as long as u want... many companies are providing here .. otherwise u can putur add on expatriates classified... and yes Bahrain is 2nd option ... this is bit hectic but many western ppl following the root ..but ksa id much safe and better than  Bahrain. any other thing u wnana ask or help .. ur most welcome.

Dear Desertlifestyle,

Thank you for your input. So there are compounds with schools inside and they basically don't need to leave the compound, thats good.
Regarding the nanny, it has to be a she, as I don't want man to look after the kids. What type of companies are providing it? I would need one person longterm, someone I can trust and leave kids alone with her sometimes. Also how do I assure that it is safe, as in UAE I sponsor the nanny. They can easily enter the compound and live-in with me? That would not be legally OK, and what about Mutawa or Police?

Does the same apply for drivers?

Thx for your comments...

Off the top I say don't do it. That said, if it is something you really want to (or must) there are several things to secure.

You need to make sure your company is willing to get you all over together. Some companies won't and make you wait three months to six months to get family over. My entire family came over together, so from the government standpoint it is possible.

A compound allowing a single man to have a live in nanny will depend on the compound. I imagine most will, but you won't know until asked. Your company should step up and find a proper compound for you and get you in it. If not you could be living in a hotel on a long waiting list.

I do not think, as a single man, you can sponsor a maid or nanny. But they exist here already so you just need to find one (easier said than done).

You can sponsor a driver, and there are many here to choose from. You can also just hire one for certain times/days (kid school pickup/drop off).

I do not know of any compounds with schools inside, but I live in Riyadh on a government compound so I have never had to look. Whether their is a bus service depends on the school, and you should look them up now as many have waiting lists.

What a compound offers depends on the compound. Most have play areas and a pool. Mine has karate lessons, but they cost extra. There are also other exercise things for the adults (for a fee). Different compounds do it differently.

Bahrain would work, but would also be a PITA.

You absolute best bet would be to, as I said earlier, not do it or get the company to step up (not easy) or find someone who will be local to you to help out (ex: a housewife to watch your kids while you are at work until you get them in school and find a nanny).

I would offer to help but I am in Riyadh. Best of luck!

Dear Xenolol,

Thx for your valuable feedback. I work for a multinational and it would be an internal transfer, so careerwise it would be a good move.

It is good that moving all together is possible, I understand it just needs to be prepared and early enough.

I see the importance of a good compound, containing all the facilities.
My biggest concern is the logistics and the kids being taken care of when I am not around. I might also have to travel overnight and leave the kids alone. As they are very young, oldest is 7 years, they need someone always around. Here, a mother naturally does the best job, in my case I need a trustable solution, who can have an eye on the kids when I am not around.
So the compounds are allowing the nanny to stay and live in the compound and in my premises? Do they want a fee for it? Where do they usually come from (countries) & what is their legal status? Who is the sponsor? Last thing what I want is that police (or the Mutawa) shows up and I am in trouble. The preference of being their sponsor would give me a certain security and trust (kids, valuables etc.)

As long the kids are sorted out, with a trustable full time live in nanny, school transportation and after school activities in a safe in the compound, it would be fine.
Actually, I even would prefer that they do not need to leave the compound at all. As I understand it is safe.
But this is my wish only, the reality of course is always different :-(..

Basically, your suggestion is not to do it, unless I get all the points mentioned by you sorted out beforehand. Any idea how long that would take, e.g. 6months, 1 year, more? I have already heard about the shortage of "good" compounds and schools and finding a trustable nanny is a big trouble.

Thx for your valuable feedback



Thx for your valuable feedback.

Do you have a sister or brother? You could maybe get them a visa to come help out until you get things sorted.

You'll be fine against the religious police if in a compound. The only issue is if you piss someone off and they "tell on you". Otherwise they won't know. This does mean you would have to not be the legal sponsor of anyone, which may make hiring difficult (or easy if you go with an illegal maid [someone who ran away from previous employer, usually due to abuse or nonpayment]).

Edited to add: Your main problem would be going out as a family with the nanny. This could cause religious police issues. They may ask if you are married to her, they may not.something to keep in mind. End edit.

You should not have to pay the compound for the nanny to live with you. The domestic workers tend to come from the Phillippeans, Malayasia, Indoneasia, and Africa (sorry for misspellings, have a three year old on my lap).

If you hire a nanny expect to pay them between 1500 and 2500 per month (depending on their experience and what you want). I really don't think you will be able to sponsor them. But your company might. Check their wasta and policies (the company my husband works for will help us and do all the paperwork and such if we want a nanny).

Your company should be able to give you a list of any expats working here already, so contact them and see what the best compounds are or if any of living in one and can put in a good word. Also ask about nannies, even if only for the first few months until you sort something out. Most domestic workers are found by word of mouth.

How long the process takes depends on whoever is working at the time. It took nine months from offer to arriving for us. Some compounds can take months to years to get into.

I truly sympathize for you, as it is a difficult situation. Good news is that it is doable, bad is it is also difficult.

Try and press your company to help you. It is your best hope. Good luck!

Dear Xenolol,

It is priceless to have a 3 year old on your lap while typing :-)..
Thank you for the detailed information, unfortunately my sibling s working in the other half of the world.
An illegal nanny is not a real option for me, as this might create to much trouble.
Do the nannies have their own sponsorship or how do they manage to work in other households and live in there?
I assume the same problem with th religious police would occur when the nanny would be with the kids and the driver in one car.
My preferene is that on a daily basis they stay in the compound and if required the kids go out with me only out of the compound.
That might be an idea, that my company hires her and she works for me. Need to check that.

I can already foresee that good compounds are rare and that there is a waiting list, similar will apply for schools. Just need to plan early enough.

Thx for your help

this is my personal experience. i used to live 7 years in a compound in Riyadh , almost all of western style compounds have school inside .....because i been there almost at every compound. 2nd 2ND nanny is eu can chose from here and its is legally allowed here even if your not living in compound you can keep her with u.. she can live with u. this is legal here.  so these are my personal experiences ,, resp of the company matters and legalties i cant suggest because i don't have any knowledge. its depends on contract u made.

Dear desertlifestyle,

Thank you for your comments. Its good news from the schools that some compounds have them inside.

I understand it is illegal to have a live-in maid in the house as a single father (man),if married she would be able to live with you, but also heard that people are still doing it.
What are the chances to get caught, as according to my understanding the Mutawa is not allowed in the compounds. I this correct?

How is the set up of the nannies business/industry?
Where do usually the nannies live? In their own acccomodation in or out of the compound? I heard that some live in the compound in their own places provided by the nanny company.
What is the legal status of them? Are they sponsored by the company or have their own sponsorship?

Alternatively, I could hire a "permanent" one on hourly basis and she would sleep somewhere else, but during the day she would take care of the kids, e.g. 6-10 & 14-20. In case I need to travel she could stay in the house while I am away. I understand that this would need to be clarified with the compound management first.

Thx for your comments

Dear ZorroMask.

It is legally allow to keep nanny for childrens in UAE