Your experience of culture shock in Ethiopia

Hi,  I have been thinking about culture shock a lot: the lack of privacy in Ethiopia has been a huge challenge to me, remaining prepared for bathrooms requires vigilance...I have written about overcoming those challenges in the following blog posts: frafrey.com/?p=63 and frafrey.com/?p=42. I hope you find these insights helpful!

In addition to those, I initially had a really hard time expanding my social circle: making friends with other single women in their 20s and 30s was really hard - Expat.com helped me meet one of my best friends in Addis, and getting involved in universities also helped. Making my home a meeting space helped me bring cool women into my life, especially as many of my women friends don't have piles of disposable income to burn gadding about the city. Unlike other places I have been, I quickly found out that clubbing alone in Ethiopia is not a very productive way to meet men that would consider a serious relationship...especially if you have brown skin. Going out with a possie suggests more legitimacy and invites more serious interest in long-term courtship; however,  best of all is to be *introduced* by a mutual friend.

I love all the babies in the community. However, I am always flabbergasted by the structural Incentives to make more babies: I am 31 years old, most people assume younger when they meet me. In the last 3 days no less than 5 people (3 neighbours, 1 relatve and 1 colleague) have encouraged me to hurry up and have a baby. "It is harder when you are older," "You will finally experience true love!" "When you have kids younger you will be closer with them." One of the most common wedding songs chants, "We will be back again next year to celebrate your firstborn!" I only know one other person in Addis using long-term contraception... instead, rythem and withdrawal seem to be the most preferred methods, followed by condoms. Two male doctors actually encouraged me to remove mine, "why not just have a baby? - better for health to keep it natural and have babies!" (At least my lady gynocologist had no comment, and great help!)

I look forward to learning how others have managed to adapt!

Best of luck.

Arranged marriage in Ethiopia:
I received the shock of my life yesterday in regards to Ethiopian culture.
I have been dating an Ethiopian lady for more than 2 years and she agreed to my proposition of marriage.
I went to Addis Ababa in February 2015 and most recently this month of August 2015 she was forbidden by her dad to meet me. The problem started when the lady graduated from University and told her dad that she has a suitor who is willing and looking forward to meet him so that we can know each other better.
Her father was surprised, shocked and could not believe it according to my girlfriend.
He (her dad) refused to meet me saying that he is not ready yet to meet me.
Finally, yesterday my girlfriend gave me the shock of my life revealing when her dad found out that she was planning to marry me in secret, he told her that he has accepted an arranged marriage with his best friend. And the son of his best friend is the man he wants his daughter to get married to. He told his daughter (my girlfriend) that he does not like me even though he never met me. He threatened my girlfriend that if she runaway with me, he will be sick and die. My girlfriend now has changed her mind because of the threat the dad made despite her being treated badly by her mum, dad and siblings. So I am devastated has I invested a lot of time and emotions in this relationship. And I cannot believe how an educated person like my girlfriend will throw away our love and give into her dad demand but I have no choice but accept their decision.

First of all, you must know the culture of Ethiopian people, they never believe a foreigner would give life to their daughter and secondly, surely, do not think negatively, but it is true that, they would never deny they had few more boy friends in their life, which they will take very lightly.
So, do not upset guys should eliminate this kind of relationships specially with the girls born and brought up in Ethiopia.

Please do not wast time with this boring attitudes use and thro attitude girls in Ethiopia.

Raj...

i guess this is nothing to do with the culture. though the culture of influential power of male figure contribute to it. it is the customs in that particular family. may be u need to give her time to double-think her decision. arranged marriage still a practice in rural and semi-urban areas but educated family are breaking the barriers these days and she may have surrendered to his wishes out of love and respect.