Hello my name is Jon. I live in Vancouver BC Canada. I recently married a filipina and we are working towards sponsorship for her here to get her pr. Before we got married we both agreed we would share expenses and costs for pr applications and consultant fees etc. Since we have been married she hasn't contributed to pretty much nothing. She is always hassling me about what I have to pay. She has also become cold and distant. Finally I confronted her about it and said we need to talk and this is how I feel, unwanted, lonely and stressed out. Seems all she wants is her sponsorship and pr and she is not contributing only sending money to her son in school. This is not fair I feel. Well communication doesn't seem to be an option as she says I'm just over reacting and sensitive. So this of course makes me more frustrated. I firmly assert myself and tell her this is not going to be a one way street, she needs to step up and take responsibility as well. After that she just ignores me like I don't exist and says I'm a bad man. Finally we got into a big argument and she ended up leaving. I came home from work and she's gone. 4 days later she surfaces saying she wants her things. I cannot believe this behavior! Talk to me I'm your husband and we are not 16 years old. I try to explain all I do and pay but this only makes her hate me more. Now it's been a week and she is staying with her friend. What I find out after digging is that she is sending all her money back home to the Philippines. She has a list of everyone from father and mother to son brother and ex husband's lover and kids that are not even her own. A list of how much she is sending to each. Lists are for every month for the last year she has been here.
I keep hearing yeah it's normal now that she is married to a foriegner and she's earning in a foriegn country this is the expectation. I can understand parents and son but not half the town and especially ex husbands baby momma. I don't get it. She has hidden this from me and told me her only expenses are her son in college. Although I can see now that the reason she is not contributing is because she's sending all her money home every month like $1300.
I don't know what to do. This may be a Filipino culture thing but in my descended country and in Canada we don't do this shit. Especially hidding these kind of details from your husband.
I feel lied to and disrespected. I feel she is not following with her responsibility to this marriage and that if I sponsor her this will only continue or worse.
Please help. I'd love to hear your opinions and feedback!