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Dating single Khmer girls

Where do U easiest meet local girls willing to date western guys? - KTVs or local discos? When its best time to approach them.. while theyre working or off-duty? - as Ive observed after theyre finished at work they all hurdle to home. And maybe later sit at river bench with their friends and relatives.

Tinder is one way but theyre mostly for hook-ups.

Is there alot of people subscribed to Tinder in Cambodia?

The girls you will find in KTV's are hookers, as are most girls in bars. It is still a very conservative society and most people that I know that have Khmer wives or girlfriends have met their better halves at work.

Vicmot :

Where do U easiest meet local girls willing to date western guys? - KTVs or local discos? When its best time to approach them.. while theyre working or off-duty? - as Ive observed after theyre finished at work they all hurdle to home. And maybe later sit at river bench with their friends and relatives.

Tinder is one way but theyre mostly for hook-ups.

Dude, if you don't know .... gosh

There was this bird hanging with her mates/out shopping/whatever, when this bee came along and spoke to her.

If the answer is "get lost, creep", you need a new chat up line.

You're talking about hooking up but isn't that what you are looking for?

You don't "pick up" a Khmer girl after work or flirt with her during work, it is the totally wrong way to approach them.

Some info: The majority of Khmer girls are conservative. If you see girls at a university most of them are conservative. That means they follow traditions and will never do anything against that or against the wish of their parents. If you would like such a girl (are you talking relationship or just holiday?) you will have to go through the hoops, asking permission to take your girl out and so on. And forget about sex, they won't do that before marriage.

Then there are the more free-minded Khmer girls, that adapted to a more western life style. They will go out with guys, have drinks, get into relationships. Still they are somewhat reserved and not easy to approach. It's all up to your way of contacting. If you look decent (not unshaven, old clothes) and behave nicely (polite, not shouting, showing respect) you might find a girl who would be ok to have a drink with you.

If you want the approach of "Hey girl, come here, I buy you a drink and then we go to my place" just stick to the girlie bars, the girls love it and are of course very flexible.

This about sums up the possibilities of meeting young Khmer girls. Remember if they have a husband or boyfriend, they won't go with you, they are very loyal, so don't even try it.

Good luck.

Fred :
Vicmot :

Where do U easiest meet local girls willing to date western guys? - KTVs or local discos? When its best time to approach them.. while theyre working or off-duty? - as Ive observed after theyre finished at work they all hurdle to home. And maybe later sit at river bench with their friends and relatives.

Tinder is one way but theyre mostly for hook-ups.

Dude, if you don't know .... gosh

There was this bird hanging with her mates/out shopping/whatever, when this bee came along and spoke to her.

If the answer is "get lost, creep", you need a new chat up line.

I do-. lol.. I met mine at her ex-work in Hostel.
Only we did it all the wrong way and her family didnt of course like it too much and they gave us the ultimatum to marry ASAP to avoid the shame in their village.. after the first time was up they extended it once.. now we have 5 month to get married and Im leaving the country for much longer than that to afford the dowries :) We will see how it will go and if the future even brings me back here anymore..

hammyt :

Is there alot of people subscribed to Tinder in Cambodia?

Yes but 80% Ex-pat cream ass wanna-be teachers and the casual backpackers. Khmer girls the usual conservatives just chit-chatting nothing serious.

So you drop your girl and flee the country? Great, the real spirit.

Why did you start this thread, asking how to pick up Khmer girls, when you have a girl already?

JoeKhmer :

So you drop your girl and flee the country? Great, the real spirit.

Why did you start this thread, asking how to pick up Khmer girls, when you have a girl already?

Not dropping.. we both know we cant make up the money required by her family here.  I need to go overseas for a while to fund it.

Besides its not just up to me if our bond will endure this time away. 2 yrs is a long time and shes still young so all is possible in the limits of her parents will.

I started this to have others experience. and point of view about the different social layers.. conservative, less conservative and prostitutes.

Nothing new really.. just to know if U have got lucky the traditional way like I did.

I don't get it. You leave the country for 2 years, leave her behind and don't know if the relationship will last? You won't be back to this country so that means you want your girl come with you later, right?

After 2 years no contact I doubt if she will still be willing to leave her country, family and parents. Better would be if you came back from time to time, to see your girl and show the family you still care about her.

Just my two cents.

JoeKhmer :

I don't get it. You leave the country for 2 years, leave her behind and don't know if the relationship will last? You won't be back to this country so that means you want your girl come with you later, right?

After 2 years no contact I doubt if she will still be willing to leave her country, family and parents. Better would be if you came back from time to time, to see your girl and show the family you still care about her.

Just my two cents.

Thats my plan honestly, I will have one month holiday each year to fly to Cambodia and back. And Social media works too. Originally I had in mind to go to Europe to do the same, but now this opportunity opened recently and it gives this benefit to save much faster the required money although Im committing to this 2 yrs term. So it will be an ordeal how to maintain it functional.

So, do the parents understand the hardship and strain that making you PURCHASE their daughter is putting upon your relationship? It is not outside the realm of possibility that their requirements could ultimately destroy the relationship. THEN what will they get? NOTHING. So, they won't consider a reasonable down payment with monthly installments until she is "payed off"?

JoeKhmer :

I don't get it. You leave the country for 2 years, leave her behind and don't know if the relationship will last? You won't be back to this country so that means you want your girl come with you later, right?

After 2 years no contact I doubt if she will still be willing to leave her country, family and parents. Better would be if you came back from time to time, to see your girl and show the family you still care about her.

Just my two cents.

Joe, I felt the need to come back for update. Im not going anywhere, the job I mentíoned was a SCAM.. so it means Ill stick together with her as of nothing would have happened, happily ever after trying my chances here in Cambodia to make her a honorable woman eventually :)

Kabe Adrift :

So, do the parents understand the hardship and strain that making you PURCHASE their daughter is putting upon your relationship? It is not outside the realm of possibility that their requirements could ultimately destroy the relationship. THEN what will they get? NOTHING. So, they won't consider a reasonable down payment with monthly installments until she is "payed off"?

I dont know how far their compassionate reached what comes to my efforts in trying to arrange as co-habitable conditions to manage financially. Ive paid my share (read most of out costs) from my purse, the running payments like rent, and utilities. What they are after and wont hesitate to remind is the essence of all to get married for avoiding the disgrace, dishonor and shame they faces in their village on daily basis. Despite all this Ive manages succesfully ward their most vivid attempts away and got just bought 5 month extension for the premarital phase. They knows as well as we do, if they keep pushing too hard, theres always the chance I take a hike. and go back to more loose markets. Best for them is to be patient... veery patient if they wants to get their daughter married in the end.

Vicmot :
JoeKhmer :

I don't get it. You leave the country for 2 years, leave her behind and don't know if the relationship will last? You won't be back to this country so that means you want your girl come with you later, right?

After 2 years no contact I doubt if she will still be willing to leave her country, family and parents. Better would be if you came back from time to time, to see your girl and show the family you still care about her.

Just my two cents.

Joe, I felt the need to come back for update. Im not going anywhere, the job I mentíoned was a SCAM.. so it means Ill stick together with her as of nothing would have happened, happily ever after trying my chances here in Cambodia to make her a honorable woman eventually :)

Thank you for being honest and explain. Just to finish the picture, do I understand you live together with her, but not in Cambodia? On top, just as a friendly advise: don't pay any dowry! The only thing you should pay for in case of a village marriage is the costs of the party that lasts 3 days, including paying monks for their presence and having the village drunk for 3 days. You do not ever buy a bride, like you do in Thailand. In Cambodia you pay money to the family and that money is used for the festivities. Better to not pay at all, greed is a source of a lot of problems in the world. Another advise: you can also marry in a  small temple somewhere, have photos taken of the ceremony, take two witnesses and then you can register the marriage (if you're not older than 50) at the municipality, to have it official.

JoeKhmer :
Vicmot :
JoeKhmer :

I don't get it. You leave the country for 2 years, leave her behind and don't know if the relationship will last? You won't be back to this country so that means you want your girl come with you later, right?

After 2 years no contact I doubt if she will still be willing to leave her country, family and parents. Better would be if you came back from time to time, to see your girl and show the family you still care about her.

Just my two cents.

Joe, I felt the need to come back for update. Im not going anywhere, the job I mentíoned was a SCAM.. so it means Ill stick together with her as of nothing would have happened, happily ever after trying my chances here in Cambodia to make her a honorable woman eventually :)

Thank you for being honest and explain. Just to finish the picture, do I understand you live together with her, but not in Cambodia? On top, just as a friendly advise: don't pay any dowry! The only thing you should pay for in case of a village marriage is the costs of the party that lasts 3 days, including paying monks for their presence and having the village drunk for 3 days. You do not ever buy a bride, like you do in Thailand. In Cambodia you pay money to the family and that money is used for the festivities. Better to not pay at all, greed is a source of a lot of problems in the world. Another advise: you can also marry in a  small temple somewhere, have photos taken of the ceremony, take two witnesses and then you can register the marriage (if you're not older than 50) at the municipality, to have it official.

Thanks for your views.. Theyre asking 4000$ for the dowry I suppose, it cannot be to cover the expenses of the ceremony itself but to have money for the family. We live in Siem Reap. Ive been telling her many many times money is the root of all evil and I wont submit to be the payer of everything. If they wants to have it their way then the guests are supposed to pay their gifts as money in return for the investment. Her mother is s strong controller here. I had almost forgotten the whole marriuage thing for the most part until she started to remind us every day to every week after some new friend from time to time keeps woindering why we arent married yet. We got this lease of 5 xtra month now. But it might be as well we will separate way before then. We both seem to yearn our freedom somewhere deep inside and seem to live together mostly for the affection. Cant say theres much about love within. However like I said my term was the guests would pay back any and all invetment made by my money for the weddings. If they wont budge to it. I cant see it happening except by your example.

Also how can I control the costs? - the situation.. if theyre keeping their minds for having this certain amount of 4000$ for whatever they have included to it.  And I feel we can have it much cheaper if we compete the arranger firms...

I'm sorry if I disappoint you, but $4000 is not that much for covering wedding costs.

Most weddings cost more than $10,000, when let's say 200 guests pay $20 you got $4000 back, so it costs then $6000. By asking $4000 there is nothing that will benefit the family's treasury.

Problem is the ridiculous costs of the wedding party. You can reduce it, but the usual thing is 3 days tents, sound system, servicing 200 people, live Khmer traditional band, food and drinks.
Then comes the personal part, a ring, flowers, dresses for the pair, the parents, the witnesses and the brides maids. On top donations to the monks of the pagoda.

If you would have the money I would say give in and pay, they will need to squeeze the hell out of it to pay for a decent (in the eyes of the villagers) wedding.

But there is something else that makes me advise you to run away! You say there is hardly love involved, more affection. And deep inside you two would love to be free. Then make that the most important part of your life, you don't marry for affection, as it is not enough to stay together long time. If there is no love there is no chance for success. I know senior men (like me) cannot expect love from a younger partner in the beginning, but there must be a mutual feeling of wanting to stay together for a long long time. If not, stop it in time and let both return to freedom. You won't regret it.

I feel folks should marry for love. Also, when you keep hearing that the villagers wonder and want to know when you're going to marry and the respect and saving face aspect of it all, yards yards...What they are really asking the parents is, "Hey, when are you going to get that big check you said you were going to get from this fool?!"

Theyre not short of cash, just got some luxury cars and stuff from business profits.Im not hurrying to marry her. Just extending the care free time from time to time :)

Darn auto correct! That was "yadda yadda ." lol!

So now I'm curious. A wealthy Khmer is kind of a rarity. What do they do?

Kabe Adrift :

I feel folks should marry for love.;

You have to understand not all societies have the same values, not all people have the same start, and not all women want the same things.

Let's assume a woman from a poor village has the chance to marry a rich man that will take her away from poverty and give any children from their marriage a far better chance in life; is it so wrong for her to marry for those things?

Kabe Adrift :

So now I'm curious. A wealthy Khmer is kind of a rarity. What do they do?

Real estate, land sales for international customers.

Sure, I get it and absolutely would not blame her. I just meant that IDEALLY, a marriage should be bound together by "LOVE". Whatever that is.

JoeKhmer :

I'm sorry if I disappoint you, but $4000 is not that much for covering wedding costs.

Most weddings cost more than $10,000, when let's say 200 guests pay $20 you got $4000 back, so it costs then $6000. By asking $4000 there is nothing that will benefit the family's treasury.

Problem is the ridiculous costs of the wedding party. You can reduce it, but the usual thing is 3 days tents, sound system, servicing 200 people, live Khmer traditional band, food and drinks.
Then comes the personal part, a ring, flowers, dresses for the pair, the parents, the witnesses and the brides maids. On top donations to the monks of the pagoda.

If you would have the money I would say give in and pay, they will need to squeeze the hell out of it to pay for a decent (in the eyes of the villagers) wedding.

But there is something else that makes me advise you to run away! You say there is hardly love involved, more affection. And deep inside you two would love to be free. Then make that the most important part of your life, you don't marry for affection, as it is not enough to stay together long time. If there is no love there is no chance for success. I know senior men (like me) cannot expect love from a younger partner in the beginning, but there must be a mutual feeling of wanting to stay together for a long long time. If not, stop it in time and let both return to freedom. You won't regret it.

Shes moving out tomorrow morning.. All tonite was just like before when the good times rolled.. We did all the same cuddling and stuff as so many nights during our cohabitation. And I even shed some real man tears that emotional it got from my side. Still tomorrow morning she is moving away in to a room she says she has already paid the rent. This movement was originally started by this 3 weeks life in false expectation I would be moving after this work overseas which later revealed to be a SCAM.

I know now for sure, our corresponding wont end bluntly here.  Even if our domestic partnership ends she will still be there forever for me and I for her. I think its only right thing to do now to let her have a  chance to life on her own for a change to see what she really wants and can she live without me after she realizes all the physical things as well as social ties that bonded us together.

You are right, it's a good thing right now.

There is a wise saying:

If a woman wants to go, let her go
If she is meant for you, she will come back
If she is not meant for you, it was time to part.

Also don't forget the pressure from her parents, I sometimes feel sorry for Khmer girls that they have about nothing to say, their parents consider them as owned and tell them what to do, even after they have been adult for quite some years. As Khmer girls don't want to stand up against their parents they can have a strong pressure that makes them insecure and confused. Take that in consideration please.

Man tears, well done, you showed your feelings, as men should also do. I have been shedding tears on many occasions in my life, it is perfectly ok to let your feelings take over for a short time!

I know a few guys whose got Khmer girlfriends and most of them have mentioned the marriage thing.  I’m just wondering why guys all go for the Khmer girls?  Like, 90% of my guy friends have Khmer girlfriends. 

Anyway, getting married should be for love.  Not just for affection or a mutual enjoyment of cuddling or whatever.  If you’re planning a “forever” with someone it should be a future where you will be truly happy.  Not just content.

I know that some girls, especially from the countryside, like to marry guys for an ensured stable future.  I also know guys who have girlfriends with babies (not the guy’s child…).  So… if the guy is willing to be someone’s way out… $$$ … go for it.  I suppose if you can live with the idea of a loveless marriage or relationship where, sometimes, you’re being duped because you’re a foreigner who earns more money than the local guy the girl might actually have feelings for.  Obviously not all girls are like that.  I don’t want to over-generalize here. 

But paying for the girl… holy cow, no way.  If I was a guy… I understand the tradition of dowry and so on, but people, when the family and girl start expecting you to pay for a business, a this, a that, whatever...  Guys, stop being ATM’s for girls and their families.  I am such a cynical, I want to say cow, but I don’t want to be a cow, so let’s say cynical nice girl.  I do not mean to offend anyone – these are my opinion/observations.  Protect yourselves, boys. 

Take care.  Cheers  :)

P.S.  Sorry about the break up / move out.  Don’t become a cynical cow just because of this experience.   ;)

I do love the title: Dating single Khmer girls.  It feels like there should be another thread for "Dating not-single Khmer girls: a guide to being the other man."  (Not that I would approve haha).

Marika1986 :

I know a few guys whose got Khmer girlfriends and most of them have mentioned the marriage thing.  I’m just wondering why guys all go for the Khmer girls?  Like, 90% of my guy friends have Khmer girlfriends. 

Anyway, getting married should be for love.  Not just for affection or a mutual enjoyment of cuddling or whatever.  If you’re planning a “forever” with someone it should be a future where you will be truly happy.  Not just content.

I know that some girls, especially from the countryside, like to marry guys for an ensured stable future.  I also know guys who have girlfriends with babies (not the guy’s child…).  So… if the guy is willing to be someone’s way out… $$$ … go for it.  I suppose if you can live with the idea of a loveless marriage or relationship where, sometimes, you’re being duped because you’re a foreigner who earns more money than the local guy the girl might actually have feelings for.  Obviously not all girls are like that.  I don’t want to over-generalize here. 

But paying for the girl… holy cow, no way.  If I was a guy… I understand the tradition of dowry and so on, but people, when the family and girl start expecting you to pay for a business, a this, a that, whatever...  Guys, stop being ATM’s for girls and their families.  I am such a cynical, I want to say cow, but I don’t want to be a cow, so let’s say cynical nice girl.  I do not mean to offend anyone – these are my opinion/observations.  Protect yourselves, boys. 

Take care.  Cheers  :)

P.S.  Sorry about the break up / move out.  Don’t become a cynical cow just because of this experience.   ;)

I shed my tears already last night with her and Im already up on my feet stronger but maybe not any wiser lol.  :D Im a lovefool, always goind my heart head on to next affair just to crash boom bang over and over again. Anyhow, no paying no gaining.  I stopped being the ATM and shopping cart for loong time ago.. Dunno then if that contributed partially to this recent break up or just the girls frustration when we werent really advancing on getting the funds and taking care of the weddings.

Btw,  A khmer woman is not a must for me. I just dicovered theyre the most curviest and cutest kind of race in all SEA.  I could easily fall in love with good natured and hearted caucasian woman as well.. But theyre mostly group souls which means my kind of introvert finds it extremeley difficult to get in chatting distance. Tinder is one way which unfortunately is mostly full of go go girls..
I keep my fingers crossed the naext one I bump to will me more matured and kind hearted who likes handsome shy guys and picks me when I can least expect it ;)

It’s so interesting hearing guys’ perspectives on this kind of thing.  I am totally not being judgy or anything, please remember that! 

Yeah, I’ve noticed that a lot of expat girls have cliques (I am the introvert who isn’t in a clique so I have no advice on how to approach that kind of situation – to be honest, I have no advice on how to pick up girls either, yeah, if you laugh I am totally sending nightmare vibes your way, I’m clueless). 

Yes, maybe stopping your ATM vibes and not moving forward to a marriage might have contributed to the split.  There are girls who want to get married ASAP.  I’m just thinking of the people I went to school with – they left school, met a guy, got married, got two babies, and a house.  I know girls who would dump a guy just because he hasn’t proposed after a year.  How insane is that?!

Anyway, in Asia the families are very traditional still and they’re not much into the dating thing – arranged marriages and all of that.  I suppose it’s hard to open up to a new way of doing things and, well, cultural clashes… real problems.  Good luck!  May the curvy force be with you!

You sound funny and personal... whats your station in Cambodia? :)

Haha,.  Well, I am a poor puppeteer and part time English teacher in PP.  I'm in the process of getting a Theatre for Development programme going, but it's taking longer than I thought it would so I am teaching again as well just to keep a roof over my head in the meantime.

In class this week the reading piece is about Love and Attraction (mostly about how chemicals make people fall in love and stupid stuff about child bearing hips and it just put me off) and the kids are super disappointed that my flirting examples consisted of me mocking it instead of giving them anything useful.  I suggested trying Youtube to get actual advice.  Maybe that'll help a shy guy too. If you find a good one - do share.  :P

I think it's interesting how you said "no PAYING, no gainining. Not sure if it was intentional, auto correct, or a Freudian slip. Interesting nonetheless.

Kabe Adrift :

I think it's interesting how you said "no PAYING, no gainining. Not sure if it was intentional, auto correct, or a Freudian slip. Interesting nonetheless.

Not sure who said that, but it's an interesting comment.  Especially in Asia.  When I was in China my Chinese friends explained the situation there as such;

No dowry, as such, but there was a check list - if the guy didn't score high... bye bye.  Car, OWNS apartment, washing machine (way back in the day the requirements were a washing machine and something else, can't remember the other thing now), good job, etc.  This goes for Chinese guys firstly and then the expats.  So in China, yes, wealth plays a big role in choosing your spouse, but it isn't just aimed at foreigners.  It's aimed firstly at the Chinese themselves.  To me, as expat, it did feel like the guys had to be "someone" to get a girlfriend - either a rich Chinese guy or an expat guy.  I think my cynicism took root there.  Obviously marrying or go out with someone with status or whatever is nothing new in the West either, but it's not that much of a prerequisite. 

Here... I was shocked the first time I found out about the guy having to pay for the girl.  That just freaked me out.  Joe might know better than me - I am assuming that the Khmer guys also pay, right?  It's not just a thing where you catch an expat and he pays... Maybe he pays more??  I am not an expert on this one. 

Asian cultures are very much geared to getting your daughter married before 27. 

Funny (true) story: 

I am still in contact with my old Chinese boss.  We get along really well.  So on my birthday this year (I turned 30 this year, okay, 25, 25 with shipping) she sent me a message about it being time for me to be engaged.  I replied with a "haha" but she persisted!  As in, it's time, you're old enough now, etc. The conversation went on for quite a while with me trying to wangle my way out of the "Come on, get engaged already" thing. Thing is; she is quite open-minded, but the tradition is still there: You're going to die alone with cats if you're not married by, at the latest, 30.  Asia...  At least I wasn't offended.  It's kind of hilarious. 

Anyway, we've got to be sensitive to the culture and not mock or criticize it just because it doesn't fit in with our way of doing things.  I don't agree with it, I think it encourages gold digging, lying, marriages for convenience, etc. --- and I am a romantic at heart --- I hate seeing relationships happen for the wrong reasons.  (Or what I might perceive as the wrong reasons).

Anyway, time to be a functional adult.  Cheers, guys.

Marika, sorry to say but you have not the slightest clue about SE culture of marriage. There is NOT ONE country where you will not be asked to contribute, from outrageous dowry (Thailand) to paying for the festivities (Cambodia). The latter is not so strange and not even endemic to SE Asia, is it not so that in some western countries the family of the groom pay for the festivities? That's the same stuff.
I myself have made the difference between greedy MIL's asking ridiculous dowry (I lives in Thailand for 8 years, I know the traditional reasons for "sin sod" and those original good reasons are trampled by greedy feet. Example, originally it was for a girl's first marriage, supposed to be a virgin and leaving parents meant less work force in the farm. Nowadays you see bar girls getting married, after being working 10 years as a prostitute, being married before with a Thai and having two kids, still the greedy family asks for dowry, and not a little bit! Compared to that the Khmer version is moderate.

I have developed a system that makes family, girl and me happy. I do not pay for the village to be drunk during 3 days, I will do a modest wedding, not expensive. I will support the girl, my girl, with an amount of money that is hers, she can do with it what she wants, if she wants to give it to her mother, ok, if she is clever and puts it in the bank even better, but it's up to her, it's her money. It's not a salary as some people sometimes mention, it is a dowry as they want but I refuse, so it is split up in monthly payments. It has the extra advantage that if the girl leaves me the money stops....

To explain about the last part of my post: I have seen examples where a girl ran away from her husband after a few months, the man's family (also Thai) came to the girl's family to ask the dowry back, but that money had been spent already.... So the money was lost. The most impressive experience was a girl in my village in Thailand, that came back to her family after 3 weeks of marriage!!! Dowry was low (30,000 baht, about $900), but the guy's family did not get the money back....

Hence my system of pay-per-month dowry, if the girl leaves it stops, if the girl stays she will have much more money from me than any excessive dowry would have brought. Think about it....

Vicmot, I like your description of Khmer girls. I too am in love with them, as they are still pure, natural, not spoiled brats like Thais, Vietnamese, name it. On top they are about the most pretty girls, their tanned skin, black long hair, black eyes and gorgeous outlook makes me smile each time I encounter those pretty girls, and that is a daily occurrence.

They are a pleasure to look at and to be with, I'm glad I have quite a few of them as friends and it's always nice to meet them.

1. Yup, as a woman I am not all that familiar with the dating and marriage rituals in SEA.  I am merely repeating what I've heard and see.  So it i interesting for me to read all of this.  Very informative.

2.  Your plan is very practical and I approve wildly of it!  Awesome way of doing things.

Wow Marika, now you make me blush... ;)

My approach is not refusal of a long maintained tradition. Westerners also have many traditions (did not originally brides wear white to show they are still a virgin?) so SE Asians are entitled to their traditions too. I merely try to bend the instant payment into rates, the result is better (nobody can deny that) and there is less risk for the man to lose his money after the girls leaves. I have discussed my plan with a number of Thai women and they all found it a good proposition, also because it gives the girl, my girl in that case, the power to do with the money as she likes, instead of seeing her mother take all the money.

A wonderful explanation I use is that I also have culture and tradition in my country and that the law in my country forbids me to pay money for a bride (is true, the law tries to prevent human trafficking with that), so I explain that I would be doing something illegal if I would pay for the bride. Then I come up with my alternative plan and mostly get support for it.

I did not use it to marry a lovely Khmer girl so far, I'm still sorting out and looking for the best, as I;m only here for just a bit more than a year.... But my plan is ready and there is no plan B, it's take it or leave it.

Marika. Talking about being married by a certain age reminded me of a little poem that "Granny" from The Beverly Hillbillies quoted. "13 and 14 a girl's in her prime. 15 and 16 she's still got time. 17 and 18 she's almost done. 19 and 20, her pa needs a gun!" Bwaaahaha!

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