Intercultural relationships in Cambodia

Wow Priscilla, that is a subject I could talk about for hours. So how to minimize it into an answer of a few lines? I will try.

First there is a common thing in ic relationships with women in SE Asia. They all have the "care" gene in them, they love to take care of you and for us that is a welcome and new aspect in our life.
It goes further, the whole family will take care of you if you would become disabled, sick or just old.
They will not, like in our nanny states, put you in a home for the elderly, also called waiting for the death homes. It was for me one of the main reasons to leave my country and emigrate to SE Asia, in my case Thailand, where I was married to a Thai woman. I think the caring is the same in countries like Lao, Cambodia, Thailand and probably Vietnam and Philippines.

There is another reason to engage in ic relationships. There is a lot of poverty in SE Asia, girls tend to marry very young, get a baby or two and because the immature husband does not get the full attention he is used to from a baby boy on, he leaves his young wife and she can take care of the kids but with no support of the father of the kids.
That leads to the young girl having to work, in Cambodia around Phnom Penh a lot of girls work in the garment and shoe industry, and they leave the upbringing of the kids to their mom. But as the money they earn is hardly enough for the family to eat and raise kids, the young girl wishes to meet a reliable, stable partner who will support her and her family and take away the burden of raising kids and having to work. The girls are fed up with local guys so they are looking for foreigners. But young foreigners have their job, house, family and even sometimes girlfriend at home, they cannot come to live in Cambodia for the next 20 or so years, so that is not such a good solution.
Leaves those foreigners that live in Cambodia as interesting possible partners. Those that live here can be divided into two groups: younger foreigners that work here and retired foreigners.
Many of the working foreigners have a family already when they come to Cambodia, so that leaves only the single foreigners with a job. On the other hand there are plenty of retired, single foreigners living the good life in Cambodia. That is the background of many a ic relationship and in spite of some negative stories I have seen many successful relationships, based on mutual respect and loyalty.

Special things of dating Cambodian girls is that there are a lot of conservative families and that is a problem. I met a lovely girl and asked her if we could meet. Her answer was yes I like to, but you have to come to my house and ask my parents permission to meet me. That was an obstacle for me.

Girls of a bit better off families will not come alone to a date, they are accompanied by a chaperone, mostly a cousin, elder sister. Horrible situation as you want to talk to the girl, not a third person. But when you are nice to the chaperone she will report positively to the parents and if you're lucky the next time the girl is allowed to meet you without the chaperone.

One thing I find particularly special about girls here. They get up early, cook rice, clean the kitchen and the house and.... sing! There is no better wake up than to hear a sweet lovely voice singing early in the morning. Each time I hear it I get emotional, ok maybe I'm a silly old bugger

Adapt to their culture and traditions, but don't throw away your own culture and traditions. Having an ic relationship and living in their country means you have to respect and switch to part of their culture, but not totally. This is what Cambodian girls and more their families tend to forget. You cannot ask a foreigner to forget his culture, as much as the foreigner respects the Cambodian culture, the girl plus family also have to respect the foreigner's culture.
To give an example out of my life. In my European country, and many other countries, it is against the law to pay money to a girl or her family in order to marry her. That law is to prevent human trafficking.
So that does not only relate to the direct dowry, it also relates to giving the family money so they can organize the "village drunk for three days" party, or any money changing hands. Of course giving the girl jewelry is not part of it. In SE Asian countries this will cause a stir, as their tradition is different. My answer to it is that I refuse to do something against the laws of my country. But as a good salesman I come up with an alternative, that should [and does] make everybody happy.

That is in short my experience with ic relationships with Cambodian and SE Asian girls.
I could write an essay about it, but I won't take more of your time

Cheers.

Joe

Funny experience I had, I had been dating as I would call it this nice Cambodian woman, she spoke fairly good English, , ok anyway we were just talking, I told her she was my best friend, she abruptly got up and left saying she didn't feel well, long story short she didn't contact me for several days, because she  “ was crying” she thought that we were just friends and I was ( breaking) from her.

Right. Wrong words in her eyes.

Two things come to mind:

1. They have the horrible [in my eyes] habit of going into "silent mode" if something bothers them. They don't talk about it in order to solve it, they just stop talking. I always call them Selena Gomez "We don't talk anymore".

2. They are extremely jealous. Don't look too long to another girl [more than 3 seconds], don't smile to another girl, don't mention another girl looking good. They can be furious, but also very sweet when you explain they are the only important girl.

Cheers.

Joe

Hello Chris.

A good read, interesting but because you write so much you forgot the oversight. You complain several times about my shallow opinion but at the same time you tell about the same story as I did.

Let's take the topics one by one.

My first words are about the caring of SE Asian girls and their families, and you agree to that.

Then I tell about the reason why many young Cambodian girls get in relationships with senior foreigners. I don't want to repeat the reasons, but you can believe me that it is true. You have met one girl if I'm right, unmarried, no kids, no ex husband that said bye bye without support for his kids.

I have met many and really many girls, both in Thailand as in Cambodia, that tell the same story, it's always about marrying a local very young guy, getting a baby and then it goes wrong, because the boy did not get full attention anymore, he had to share attention with his baby and a lot of them are not able to cope with that, so they find another girl that gives them full attention again and they disappear, leaving their wife with one or two kids and no money. It is horrible but it's the truth.

Laws. If I still have the citizenship of my home country, and I have, I am obliged to follow the laws of my country. It's not a choice, it's a must. Read Laws, not religion, politics, but laws. As you mention yourself talking about dowry is determining the value of the girl, is she a virgin, has she been married before, does she have kids?
I personally find that a very bad thing and it borders the talking of traders that trade humans, they also talk about the value of a certain person. Those two facts have made my mind and I will always reject it. But, you might not have read that, I stated that I come with an alternative that makes everyone happy. Isn't that nice? Everybody happy, nobody loses face.

Other than you I face the rule that I cannot marry a Cambodian girl, so that takes away many things of the conservative traditional way, there will be no marriage.

I have told about specific and funny items during dating, I don't condemn them, I just told them. The girl that asked me to ask her family if I could date her, I dated her, after a first talk to her older sister and two brothers. So there are solutions and I'm a strong believer in finding solutions.

I have been dating a girl with a chaperone, and as I wrote, by being nice to the chaperone, an older sister in this case, the chaperone turned into a promoter of her sister and me, so it went well.

Funny you say foreigners have problems to cope with normal society and added that you several times mention bars, bar stools it seems that you think that other foreigners than you only visit bars and have a bar stool opinion based on nothing.
You should go out more often and talk to other foreigners. I know a lot of foreigners that lead a normal life, are married to a lovely Cambodian girl and things are fine. I also know many single foreigners and they also engage in normal activities and not often hang around in bars.

Speaking for myself, I tend to concentrate on normal girls, with a job. Under my female friends in PP I count an accountant, a registered nurse, a waitress, a night-manager of a restaurant and a hotel manager. But unfortunately two of them have to work to support their kids as the husband left them alone. I like the bar scene too, but don't see it as a serious place to meet a possible girlfriend. As I don't drink I don't get drunk too, no strange situations, always fit in the morning even after a long night.

I hope to have taken away some of your stereotype foreigner idea, of course there are foreigners that sit on their bar stool from 4 pm til late, you find those types everywhere in the world and they have a very small world in which they survive.

Cheers.

Joe

Dear Chris,

I am extremely interested in this topic because I have Khmer online girlfriend now for 6 months and I plan to move to Cambodia in the cause of this year.
Although I am not a native English speaker, I think that I am, as author of many books, I am able to read more complex texts and I work with scientific documents in the English language.
Having said that, I really don't want to offent you, I was not able to read your posts. They read like fist thick NGO reports with as many words as possible without expressing or explaining your point of view!
I really tried, but your loose me in your stream of words. Please don't be offended, and take it as well ment criticism because I am very interested in your opinion!

Chris Nixon.

For the second time in a row you ignore my point re dowry. Now read this carefully so you pick up the meaning.
I have stated, also in other posts, that although I reject dowry [bride price] I come up with a solution that leaves everyone happy and nobody loses face. The end result of my solution is an even higher amount of money than in any bride price.

I tell you a story from my rural village in Thailand, where I lived 8 years and witnessed all aspects of traditional rural life. There was this young couple, both Thais and from the same village. They were married and had a daughter. But on a day they separated, the girl went to another village and was found there by an interested guy. So he married the girl, paid bride price and everything ok. Except, the girl didn't want to sleep with him and after two weeks she left him and went back to my village and to her ex husband.
Then the man's family came along to ask the bride price back, as the bride ran away after two weeks. But unfortunately the girl's parents had already bought a new motorbike so there was no money left. The man's parents never got their money back.

Girls are for sale. Yes, not all of course, but  it is possible to buy a girl away from her family. It happens in SE Asia, India, China and many more countries.
I guess you know of the existence of "second wives" in Cambodia? As the men are not fulfilled by one wife they have a second wife. This is also traditional and culture if you like. If a man rapes a girl he can consider marrying the girl and he will not go to jail. Also traditional. Even worse is the buying of virgins by powerful and/or rich Cambodian men. A family is approached and the 10-year old daughter is the subject of discussion. The rich man offers the family a large bag of rice every month until the girl is 12 years old. Then he takes the girl with him for one week, into a hotel where he abuses her every day. The family gets between $3000 and $5000 for this horrible event. This is also Cambodia. All three happenings I reject fiercely, and I don't care if they are tradition, culture or crimes, for me they are all proof of the dominant position of males and the totally low level of respect for women. A bride has to declare that she will "serve" her husband, if she wants to divorce, even after violence, she has to "ask" her husband and if he says no there will be no divorce. So far for traditional and cultural misbehaviour.

When in my Thai rural village rumours started that I had a generous alternative for bride price and knowing that I was divorced from my Thai wife on one day I was introduced to and offered a 14-year old girl to be my wife. I was so shocked that I didn't know what to say. You hear stories about it but this was happening to me, it was real.

I leave it at this, I could tell more about my time as volleyball coach of two girls groups in school, and the heart breaking stories of a few abused girls, abused in and by the family. I am no more an advocate of traditional life in SE Asia, I have seen too much wrong.

Chris NIxon, let us stop the discussion here, each has the right to his/her opinion but this thread was not meant to be a discussion platform but a way for members to express their experiences in ic relationships.

Cheers.

Joe

Dear Chris,

Thanks you for taking my comment so well! I was doubting whether to post it because I didn't want to offend anyone, but i was sure most of the readers would have the same experience. I did understand what you were writing, but lost focus and interest due to the flow of words. Your last post was much so much better!

I try to read as much as I can about living in Cambodia and her culture and value Joe's posts greatly but do not always agree with him (not often). I have experienced some of his views myself now and thanks to his advises I can deal with them. Khmer woman being jealous and going into silent mode are typical and they jump to conclusions much too fast. When I write: I am tired, she thinks it means I want to stop chatting, although chatting with her relaxes me.

I have been married once and my GF too, and I am very glad that to my big surprise my GF has no intentions of getting married again. But when everything goes well I could consider some kind of alternative wedding ceremony in her village where her family lives. But I will never pay any dowtry, but Joe's system would work fine for me. My GF is working in PP now as a teacher and supports her family.

I think it is important to know the background of the life of your GF/wife. The story of my GF is so typical and illustrating for Cambodia. Her father left her mother with 3 kids without any money or support. The kids had to be raised in an orphanage because mother was so poor she could not pay for food. My GF was selected and got her education paid by an American philanthrope (paying for education is the best thing to do!). At 20, she married a foreigner under pressure of her family, but due to restrictions, he got not take her to his country and now she was left alone and full of shame and worries of not finding another good man because she was "second hand".

Quite a special story but this happened to thousands and thousands woman in Cambodia.

But... Sometimes my GF is lauching about me because I tell/ask her about old fashioned Kmher traditions and culture. Than she makes it clear that Khmer culture and family are very important but that Cambodia is changing very fast and that there is a hugh difference between the rural life and the PP city life in Cambodia. She is supporting her family, but has many discussions with her mother and brother who still live on the countryside.

Chris Nixon.

Just a short answer.

You live with your head in the clouds and in books, you have no idea what is going on in reality, you have not read about women get killed by their husbands because they asked for divorce. You have no knowledge that the village head is the first one to be counseled and as they are mostly men they try to mediate and send the woman back home with the message try again, and again and again.

Read the newspapers instead of fancy books and laws, read what happens in reality. I do that and it is horrible. Women, certainly in rural areas, have about no rights, and even when "rights" are mentioned in the law, there is no law enforcement, plus nearly all officials are men.

You also seem to miss that Cambodian men, as Thai men, have major problems with reject ion. Those that have such a fragile ego will not accept rejection, divorce, and as they are also extremely jealous they could even kill their ex wife e.g. 3 years after divorce. So far for the rights of women.

You are right that divorces are processed, but be aware that those divorces are the ones where the man agrees to divorce. When the man does not agree, the woman is in trouble, be it that she cannot divorce or in physical danger. Men consider their wife as a possession, made worse by the fact they paid money for her [bride price].

There is also a lot of domestic violence, surely in the rural areas. Man comes home in the night, drunk, and wants sex, the woman refuses and gets beaten up or even killed. This is on a much larger scale than reported as many women don't dare to report their husband for domestic violence, on top the law enforcement officers consider domestic violence as a private matter, not a crime.

I quote Licadho's Women's Rights Monitoring Office:

On paper, men and women enjoy equal rights in Cambodia, but the situation can be much different in reality. In particular, crimes such as sexual abuse and domestic violence often go uninvestigated and unpunished, thanks to official corruption, a culture of impunity and a culture of silence surrounding crimes that occur within the home.

You should read what they publish and encounter, here the link: https://www.licadho-cambodia.org/progra … office.php

I close now as this topic is more about Cambodian lack of rights for women. But as the thread is about ic relationships, this shows why a large and growing part of those women that are fed up with Cambodian men try to find a reliable foreigner, even if there is a large age gap.

As I said before I know a lot of happy ic couples and although some relationships fail, their rate is not higher than the Western divorce rate of I believe 1 in 4 marriages.

Cheers.

Joe

Dear Joe,

You are al little harsh on Chris. He seems to be to me a very nice, good hearted guy with good intentions. But I have also the impression that he is what we call a paper tiger. He produces words like a waterfall (strange thing for me to write as an author). I think you are both right. Chris on paper and you in reality. Your experiences are completely in line with the stories I hear from my GF. She tells me a lot about what is going on in her family.

I hope that Chris his advice can help some woman. In the end, Cambodia will also develop in this matter to a more modern society. A few days ago we had womens rights day celebrated so there is at least some focus on this problem.

Cheers

Well cris does seem like a nice guy and so is jo I know him personally, you would like him, but I've been here three years , and jo is right the law might say one thing the reality is most policemen, and courts are men who do not usually side with the woman, but nice conversation

I like the way JoeKhmer tells it - and my experiences are very similar. I am afraid that I gave up reading most of what Chris Nixon wrote through boredom in processing a tsunami of unnecessary long-winded verbosity. I think JoeKhmer is the best writer on this forum (I have never met him in person) and I see no point in Chris Nixon criticising him when I feel he (Joe) knows best.

Here here!

What a load of bollocks

Not very articulate

Learn the language,lack of morals,principles,scruples,etticut,humanity,etc,etc,it's a shite hole!!

Pete utley wrote:

Learn the language,lack of morals,principles,scruples,etticut,humanity,etc,etc,it's a shite hole!!

This thread is about intercultural relationships. Do your last two words represent your opinion?

On top you must have learned in school to put a space after a comma, makes text easier to read.

Cheers.

Joe

I think what's not being said is that you can't project your cultural attitudes from the west and relate it to a relationship in Asia, women do not have the financial ability that a man does much like the USA in the 40s - 1960 s, women in Asia are not payed as well, and are not considered equal employees by many, there fore the giving of money each month to your partner, it's not pay for sex , I know it's viewed that way in the West , of course my ex wife is a eye surgeon and makes 750 gs a year, so you have to be here a while to understand that it's not paying a woman to stay with you, it's a equal exchange , in fact I've found the women many times works harder than men, and if a man has a business his woman is working along side him, it's just the opportunity's are still limited for females , jo has been around and I think if you listen to him he knows what he's talking about , Dating in Asia is so totally different you can't compare the two , but just because you give your girlfriend, wife / partner money does not make her or him a whore on the contrary women in Cambodia are very modest, and anything but promiscuous!

My reply sums up intercultural relationships comma , Joey.

@Pete,

If you want to troll, take Khmer440 of CEO, they like trolling there!

With 16 years experience of life in Cambodia and a Cambodian wife for almost 8 years I am with Joe on this ic debate.

Peter43 wrote:

With 16 years experience of life in Cambodia and a Cambodian wife for almost 8 years I am with Joe on this ic debate.

Thank you Peter.

Hi Chris.
I totally agree with Your views on the "mixculture" relationships and in this case cambodian's.
Conservative can be ofcause to the other's benifit if wants a reliable relationship and if it was in my case I would embrace as the other parts of the culture in engagements and in marrying evt.cambodian woman's.
One would not move there to meet a wife and start a life there to take the culture we have back home.
I must say that their ways is logic and we coming there are no better or can expect them to embrace us for our better off economic advantages if that was the case.
In their country and culture it us We the "visitor" or immigrant that is wanting something of theirs.If that is someones daughter then that would for them be the most precious of all like Our daughter's are to us.I hope one day I'll get there and I would play their notes the way they do!
Thanks,
         Mvh/Martin.

Hey Joe,
  I have not been to cambodia before but I spent 2 years in two trips in the Philippines and sounds like the women in Cambodia are alot like filipino girls. which is a good thing. i have a question joe. In the Philipines the family was always asking me for money. does that happen in Ca,bodia and if so how do you handle that? i am on disability and have a fixed income so i have a certain limit to funds unless i get a job of some type there. i wish to be retired but need something to do. any ideas? thanks

Yes Alabama , you most likely will be asked for money, of course not all Cambodian women are the same in my case , I give a set amount per month being your on a fixed income this is logical, I give 2-300$ a month it can be any amount , but I pay rent electricity, water food WiFi trips going out even gas for her moto, this way if she wants to help her family she can , I ask for nothing in exchange for this money, she can spend it on what she wants , this is just my way , but on a fixed income established ground rules on money right up front is the best advice I can give you , be kind to her treat her and her family with respect , treat her like you would want your daughters mate to treat her and you will be fine, but don't try the wait and see approach , get this over right up front , you will have more harmony and nothing better than a khmer women who loves you, they will make you happy , and you do the same with her , just my two cents as they say , I've been here three years and jo has given me some great advice here , it's not pay for play thing it's a different culture , so just have a great time here

I have a been living in the province at Kampong Cham with my girlfriend/fiance for two months and I've known her for about 10 months. I love the province, and I love my sweet heart.  She turned out to be a woman of strength and power, so happy she doesn't drink. ( Alcohol seemed to be a curse for women in my country) . Managing money is a serious issue. The word budget does not exist in Khmai. She's getting it though. I'm in Australia, so instead of paying a tiler for kitchen floor, she tiled it herself. I laughed so hard, her mother (60 years old) sifting sand and mixing the concrete, aunty and her placing the tiles with big smiles, all with DIY pride.This came about because I put her on a budget.
On Facetime, there were the many children and multiple aunties pushing with their big smiles to get in the picture, my heart was so warmed.  I don't really have much to add, some will work some will not. But one thing for sure, money will be an issue, and it will test your assertiveness.  good luck all

alabamaboy1959 wrote:

Hey Joe,
  I have not been to cambodia before but I spent 2 years in two trips in the Philippines and sounds like the women in Cambodia are alot like filipino girls. which is a good thing. i have a question joe. In the Philipines the family was always asking me for money. does that happen in Ca,bodia and if so how do you handle that? i am on disability and have a fixed income so i have a certain limit to funds unless i get a job of some type there. i wish to be retired but need something to do. any ideas? thanks

You have got an excellent answer from twinsguy, is totally correct. In short see it this way:

They WILL ask for money as their daughter has attracted a filthy rich foreigner. I say that because many Cambodians think we Westerners are filthy rich. So there is demand. You can give the money yourself and the requests will repeat itself. Much better is to make your girl the manager of her own money. That way she can help her family but also say no when a brother wants to have money to gamble. Your girl is not used to managing money but she will learn it quickly and be fair and correct to her family.
It saves you the dilemma of wanting to help but getting annoyed if they keep asking and asking. Make clear from the beginning that your girl is the one who gives money to the family, if she wants, and that there will be no requests to you personally. It works wonders and your girl is proud to manage money.

Cheers.

Joe

Hi

Yes this is a conversation that keeps expats chatting for hours on end

In my experience having lived in Siem Reap for 5yrs and been with a Cambodian girl for that period of time it was extremely challenging. The family I was involved in was a big family 10 brothers and sisters which was difficult to get to know there names anyway the mistake we made was living too close to the family so privacy can be a bit of an issue. Then there is the sob stories of family members needing money over the years and the weddings, funerals, 3 new years to contend with and girls that often compete with each other over money, jewellery cars, motorbikes etc.......... I have been to the aid of a number of friends who have experienced horrible situations of girls getting violent towards them. But I will add there are some great times you can have in a relationship like getting to know more about the culture history within the families and quite often meeting new people you wouldn't have had before. It is also common for girls to have a husband and the girls are sent out to make money for the family by meeting foreigners that are lured in to give money every month. When you get to know the language then you start to hear things you would rather not. Personally take a lot of time to get to know the family first or as is quite common the girls want to get away from family members and start a new life.

I'm keeping this short and brief for now

Good post Monkey 79.

I particularly like this phrase " the mistake we made was living too close to the family so privacy can be a bit of an issue. " as I have made that mistake myself in Thailand, regrettable even to the extent that my ex-wife said we would still be together if we had lived at least ten km from her parents house.

Further I recognize your other issues, all happening so often.

You mention once you understood the language you heard things you'd rather not. I think very true and it is my personal reason to NOT learn the language. I don't want to hear gossip about me and I give space to my partner to talk with girls friends and gossip about me, I know they share everything about their barang partner, up until how many times and if it is great, average or even bad. I am positive and I think if you treat your girl well she will not talk too bad about you. So I trust, but I don't want to hear it.

Cheers.

Joe

It's funny reading through here all the things I haven't thought about.  I've been pretty much a permanent bachelor and a bit of a whore.

That being said, I don't particularly expect that to change although it's not really a goal.  In that culture do women think, because you've went on a date and hooked up you are now in a relationship?  Even out in New Mexico this mindset has gotten me into trouble a few times.  Is that something I'll have to worry about?  Brothers and cousins jumping me in a bar, I guess they can't key my car if I don't have one.

Be careful these Cambodian women take a relationship serious ,

Ha thanks, that's the picture I was getting. It gets me into trouble in the states, of course it would there huh?

I see you had already a great response from twinsguy, he is correct in what he writes.

Cheers.

Joe

I'm curious, do mature Khmer women have an interest in dating foreign men? When I move to phnom phen next year I won't necessarily be looking for a relationship but if it happens I would want one with a women in the 40 to 50 yr range as I think i would have more in common with someone closer to my age, also is it common for a Khmer woman to want to quit their job and be supported, or are they willing to keep their jobs to have more money in the relationship???

Auggie , you are in the drivers seat as they say my friend, for some strange reason , women over 35 and not married , well they think they are “ over the hill” because so many younger women , they consider more “beautiful “ will be after you, but I feel the same way as you , I'm 60 I prefer a mature women, in looks and everything else, I have seen the most beautiful over 40-60 year old women in Cambodia, but it will take convincing, that you are not a normal foreigner, like myself , I've seen women in stores etc , it's hard to even get a glance , where as 20-30 year olds will be open to talking to you , surprisingly enough the hardest part is for you to convince them your really interested !

twinsguy20 wrote:

Auggie , you are in the drivers seat as they say my friend, for some strange reason , women over 35 and not married , well they think they are “ over the hill” because so many younger women , they consider more “beautiful “ will be after you, but I feel the same way as you , I'm 60 I prefer a mature women, in looks and everything else, I have seen the most beautiful over 40-60 year old women in Cambodia, but it will take convincing, that you are not a normal foreigner, like myself , I've seen women in stores etc , it's hard to even get a glance , where as 20-30 year olds will be open to talking to you , surprisingly enough the hardest part is for you to convince them your really interested !

thanks twinsguy looks like I will have an uphill battle as I'm on social security disability and collect less than 900 a month I'm sure as foreigners go there are better options

900 will be ok , 200 rent , many many 200 with cable WiFi ac , I go to a few places but 19/136 a great place 1.50 for a huge meal, breakfast on 19/154 1 eggs and toast , street food great when you know the right ones, shop at the outdoor markets , two cut trimmed ready to eat pineapples 1$ for the both , 1$ for more bananas than you can eat alone before they go bad , everything is cheap, don't go to grocery stores they are not needed thus not to many every item you need will be found in the outdoor markets kandel by the riverside is great fruit, moto repair, soap , pots and pans meat, vetables , a haircut, if you need it it's there , I'm not talking central market, or Russian market, these are tourists places , and must be visited they are great, but for everyday things every location has a local street market close full service everything, this is how you live and even travel to the coast once a month or to the islands , 10$ bus ticket to beach 10$ hotels 2$ meals you get the picture, stay out of Gloria jean, Starbucks kfc, Burger King, browns coffee, costa coffee, these are designed for the rich , a good cup of khmer coffee in the morning will run you 75 cents ( 3000 Reil ) to 1$ I go to a place on 172 eggs bacon coffee 2$ good too or tea if you prefer, women 40-60 just want a kind man gentle, take her to the two $ restaurant, share what you have , they are not all gold diggers , 900 you will be fine , stay out of girl bars and stick to 1 or two 50 cent beers a day your going to do well here , average wage in 2015 for a khmer 980.00 per year , factory's are closing but they earned 200 a month that was a good job , so living on 900 don't sweat it

Good answers by twinsguy as usual, he is experienced and knows his places.

What you have to consider however, is IF you want a woman in your house.

General costs stay the same like rent, but other costs rise. Electricity might double, food whether you cook yourself or eat somewhere cheap, will rise, the woman would love to buy some clothes sometimes, or some make-up to make her look good for you. There will be requests for money to go to the temple and donate, even worse are the requests for money because of some mishap in the family.

I only want to say: think about it, it will rise your monthly costs in quite a way. But a lovely caring woman is a great thing, don't get me wrong.

To put it in figures, I calculate that a girl/woman living in costs me about $500 per month. Could be less in your case, but you will have a dent in your budget of a few hundred bucks.

Just food for the mind.

Cheers.

Joe

Oh yea jos right I just figured you in ! But with a woman it's tight, have you thought of teaching or taking on students in English, just a thought