Cebu has gotten worse.

Hello Nielsen Flute
I don't think much has changed here in Cebu in the 2 years I have been here. I think some of the women ??? have become more computer savvy and hence more adds etc.  Bali is just as bad without universally understanding English.  All have high hopes of relieving any foreigner of as much cash as they think they can possibly afford.
regards  Bruce

GoDees wrote:

Hello Nielsen Flute
I don't think much has changed here in Cebu in the 2 years I have been here. I think some of the women ??? have become more computer savvy and hence more adds etc.  Bali is just as bad without universally understanding English.  All have high hopes of relieving any foreigner of as much cash as they think they can possibly afford.
regards  Bruce

What apps and sites are you using, Bruce?

I primarily used Dateinasia and Fill Cupid last time with very good success.

Married now so off the sites.

Sound like you are focused on making a short term booty run. If that is the case, then Cebu or Angeles are your best options.
If you want to find real quality without having to sort out all the undesirables, then go to the Provence. There are unlimited attractive young women available. The down side is you would have to invest the time to know them and to deserve them.

This is totally mop, but, I really hate that the Philippines get marketed as a sex haven. 90%of the woman here are looking for the same thing that most women in the world are looking for. A good decent guy that will respect them and support them both financially and emotionally.
I'm sorry if I sound like Dr Phil but I spend most of my time in the province and that is my experience.

In my experience going back 15 years Cebu has changed much from a mini-Manila. CdO, Bacolod and Davao always seemed better, and touristy spots like Dumaguete have become horrid places in many respects. In my past travels, I found Legaspi and Ormoc to be better that too may have changed.
As for women, is tough. But there are still good ones out there (I've been married to one now for almost 4 years). As said above, go to the province but not places like Mabinay on Negros or Moalboal on Cebu where opportunistic bar girls predominate. Some of the smaller distant islands are still less exposed, but that too can surprise (as in Bislig where online sex chat sites have proliferated). I think I met 200 pinay in person, dated quite a few at least once, and many more online, and of them only met a few who didn't lie, cheat or steal.
One alternative is to go to another place altogether and find your filipina (Taiwan, HK, Singapore, or even in the dev. world where so many have left the Phils to work, send money home, and maybe find a good man). Most of those are the brave ones, and will likely bring to you many benefits not found among many/most western women. But keep in mind that your own attitude toward women in general will either win the day, or lose it. Any good woman is looking for a strong man who is decisive and won't be a push-over. This a time-honoured reflex in her heart.
This misses much, is patchy, but hope helps some.

@Daenr you say "Any good woman is looking for a strong man who is decisive and won't be a push-over" becareful with that... women in the Philippines are very strong and decisive. Many foreigners can't imagine that because the dating sites are marketing the Filipinas as "traditional", "caring", "loving", "submissive" " family oriented who will take care of all your needs" etc. But I promise big surprises for the westerner who will go beyond the online dating :-)

Yeah the Philippines is actually pretty overrated these days. It's becoming overfished by *** boomers and fly by night wife hunters or sex tourists.

If you are a resident or expat, good luck dating normal professional middle class filipina girls with a good job and Western sensibilities. Those types are practically untouchable. In fact you are actually held to US / Western standards if the girl deigns to have anything to do with foreigners.

A little experiment-  Go to Cebu or Manila and walk around the malls. Greenbelt, Ayala, Trinoma, SM North, Robinson's, etc. Whatever. Even if you are good looking and under 40, girls will actively avert their gaze unless they are hookers or maybe lower class women. Too much stigma nowadays to really take the place seriously anymore.

If you talk to locals their tone is accusatory and they are wondering what could possibly bring you to PI.

It's only for quick fun but even that is now dying a slow death. Quality of life is in the shitter and now they have the gun toting president that hates Americans. Such a depressing vibe and a lot of animosity in the air.

The nature is nice and has some great beaches and diving but that's not a good enough draw.

I think the traffic congestion and pollution is what's gotten worse the most, haha. And I agree that a lot of A-holes have come here and taken advantage of the women and the power imbalance. Sad.  It's a hard enough place to get by if you're not well off but they deal with it.  But there are still plenty of sincere, nice women here.  So perhaps you need to let go of some of your preconceived notions and expectations.  Or maybe you are just reading them wrong. 

You said:
"If you are a resident or expat, good luck dating normal professional middle class filipina girls with a good job and Western sensibilities. Those types are practically untouchable. In fact you are actually held to US / Western standards if the girl deigns to have anything to do with foreigners."

Sure.  Why shouldn't they have their own standards? Their choice. And why would they necessarily be expected or even want to to date men from a foreign country and different culture? It's a lot of work and they will often be ostracized within their own social circle.  As for holding you to the standards of your own culture, that's a pretty good idea actually.  I see many westerners come to the Philippines and let go of their own standards. Completely. They do things they would never do at home in their own country. 

You said:
"Even if you are good looking and under 40, girls will actively avert their gaze unless they are hookers or maybe lower class women.

Oh yes. All the more reason to avert their eyes. It is still a conservative country in many ways and making eye contact with other men is not appropriate, especially if she is involved with someone. My woman would never do that. She is very attractive herself but doesn't even notice good looking guys that walk by, much less make eye contact. I have to point them out, haha. Most sincere women here are interested in a long term relationship with someone stable, not a "chick boy"..

I have been with the same woman for 5 years now and it takes a lot of work to sustain a relationship with large cultural and socio-economic differences, but it has also been very rewarding. She expects maturity and stability, but gives me a lot in return. It makes me a better person and while challenging at times, overall I feel extremely fortunate.

I agree with pnwcyclist. Although I do not live in the Phils I have been there countless times and alway enjoy my time there.
But if you want  'a quick leg over' then its hookers plain and simple. But if interested in a longer relationship then you have to win them over, like women all over the world.
Cebu has grown and it was my favourite city but with enormous growth in the last 10-15 years its more like Manila. But still go there and enjoy my time there just dont go downtown a lot, especially if its raining and the rush hour
My secret to having a good time there is to take a up beat attitude and if questioned about the why I 'm there I enthusiastically  rattle off a few things I like about the country and its smiles all round. It aint  hard to get along there

Nielsen Flute wrote:

Yeah the Philippines is actually pretty overrated these days. It's becoming overfished by dipshit boomers and fly by night wife hunters or sex tourists.

If you are a resident or expat, good luck dating normal professional middle class filipina girls with a good job and Western sensibilities. Those types are practically untouchable. In fact you are actually held to US / Western standards if the girl deigns to have anything to do with foreigners.

A little experiment-  Go to Cebu or Manila and walk around the malls. Greenbelt, Ayala, Trinoma, SM North, Robinson's, etc. Whatever. Even if you are good looking and under 40, girls will actively avert their gaze unless they are hookers or maybe lower class women. Too much stigma nowadays to really take the place seriously anymore.

If you talk to locals their tone is accusatory and they are wondering what could possibly bring you to PI.

It's only for quick fun but even that is now dying a slow death. Quality of life is in the shitter and now they have the gun toting president that hates Americans. Such a depressing vibe and a lot of animosity in the air.

The nature is nice and has some great beaches and diving but that's not a good enough draw.

The Philippines are far from perfect and it sure enough is not for everyone, but practically everything you said is bs! I can walk around any mall and have both men and women smile at me and be very helpful if I require it. And this is coming from a 60 yr old bald man.
Politics aside, the locals like Americans very much and most are not after your money.

I am sorry that you have such a negative attitude toward the Philippines but I think they can live very well
without you.

zincity wrote:

Nielsen Flute wrote:

Yeah the Philippines is actually pretty overrated these days. It's becoming overfished by dipshit boomers and fly by night wife hunters or sex tourists.

If you are a resident or expat, good luck dating normal professional middle class filipina girls with a good job and Western sensibilities. Those types are practically untouchable. In fact you are actually held to US / Western standards if the girl deigns to have anything to do with foreigners.

A little experiment-  Go to Cebu or Manila and walk around the malls. Greenbelt, Ayala, Trinoma, SM North, Robinson's, etc. Whatever. Even if you are good looking and under 40, girls will actively avert their gaze unless they are hookers or maybe lower class women. Too much stigma nowadays to really take the place seriously anymore.

If you talk to locals their tone is accusatory and they are wondering what could possibly bring you to PI.

It's only for quick fun but even that is now dying a slow death. Quality of life is in the shitter and now they have the gun toting president that hates Americans. Such a depressing vibe and a lot of animosity in the air.

The nature is nice and has some great beaches and diving but that's not a good enough draw.

The Philippines are far from perfect and it sure enough is not for everyone, but practically everything you said is bs! I can walk around any mall and have both men and women smile at me and be very helpful if I require it. And this is coming from a 60 yr old bald man.
Politics aside, the locals like Americans very much and most are not after your money.

I am sorry that you have such a negative attitude toward the Philippines but I think they can live very well
without you.

Locals don't feel threatened by 60 year old men. I'm under 30 and have zero interest interacting with the people outside of girls and they sense that and it makes them feel insecure considering all the passive aggressive staring and mumbling under their breaths.

If you're doing hookers in PI you're doing it wrong. The appeal of the Philippines is that you were able to get decent women actually without a lot of work.  That arbitrage was the only thing that made the country bearable to live in. Now take a walk in Makati / IT Park and you see good looking guys with ubtermensch and it brings down the value of foreigners severely. There's so much animosity in the air bc Pinoys know quite well why foreigners come there.

The country has no vibe or charm or character and no matter how good my dating life was, I'd fall into depressing moods all the time there. Cebu might be the exception but now I'm having other thoughts.

I know quite well the Philippines used to be quite amazing as recent as 2014 but attitudes have definitely changed dramatically and locals actually MOCK foreigners for choosing to live there now.

Look at the graveyard of the countless foreign nationals slain in vain if you don't believe me. On some level it could be payback for what Filipinos endure abroad...so the next time you're at BI don't be surprised if the immigration officer starts power tripping.

I may still decide to go back for a month and pick off the bones but after that I'm off. Just something off about about the country and people that doesn't mesh well with me.

@Nielsen Flute you are saying so much stupid things I understand why you have so many problems in the Philippines. Stay in the communist country of Vietnam, enjoy there!

geolefrench wrote:

@Nielsen Flute you are saying so much stupid things I understand why you have so many problems in the Philippines. Stay in the communist country of Vietnam, enjoy there!

I will enjoy it

Are you a Filipino btw? Instead of smart aleck replies, say something meaningful instead of all this sound and fury.

Just enjoy the local politbureau !

Nielson, It could quite possibly be as you said, they sense that you want nothing to do with them and thus give you attitude. In light of that, most people would. I interact a lot with people here and to be honest, I've never run into one that gave me attitude. Being polite, courteous and of course, a smile goes a long way with people in general, not just here. I've been in and out of this country 5 times over the past few years and never experienced any BI or customs officials giving me a hard time.
Again, this may be because I don't give them any reason to want to hassle me. I am polite and friendly to everyone until and unless there is a reason not to be which again, I haven't run into yet. The biggest issue that I've faced here, is the basic inefficiency and inconsistency of getting things done here which can be very frustrating at times. But, we are all guests here and I try to keep that in mind. When/if it gets to a point where I can't deal anymore, I can always go back to the US. There's certainly nothing holding me here.

It's amazing to me that someone that doesn't live in the Philippines, doesn't like the Philippines, hates all the people in the Philippines, and says he falls into depression in the Philippines, would spend so much time on a PHILIPPINE expat forum.
I think Twitter is more your speed.

I like the gun toting President, he was our Mayor in Davao for over 20 years, Davao one of the safest cities in Asia because of him, the laws are enforced in Davao, don't do as in Cebu, it is not regular Americans he dislikes it is political hacks that try and tell him how to run the country, I don't agree with a lot he does but I respect he takes no crap, I have been in Cebu and can't believe what goes on smoking in public no no in Davao, I had a cab driver in Manila try and charge me a set price for a cab I told him if we're in Davao I stop the first cop , he will take you license, he said your from Davao sorry, bars close in Davao at 12 not many street walkers, don't insult a woman on the street or anywhere you won't like the jail is over crowded

Hmm interesting I have just spent a couple of weeks in Cebu. OK its changed a lot  by that I mean the traffic and with Cebu Pacific Airline up and running there are far more tourists.
But to some extent you get what you give, first impression are everything or as the locals say muy importante.
If you come on with an attitude as your looking for a one night stand etc. It wont work and as pointed out its still a conservative nation. So you have to get to know them and it helps to have a good reason for the first meeting especially if its a chance meeting. In short you have to impress them and they like handsome men but thats not enough. They will choose a man who kind, thoughtful over a handsome dude.
Over many years of going and staying in the Phils I have seen many great looking women with some very ordinary looking guys. Its all about quality because they looking for permanence, long term relationship and yes its predominantly a matriarchal society and that can have its own issues. But that doesnt mean they are all like this. Thats something that has to be worked/sorted before you too far, its not hard to spot.

Security? Only an observation.

Cheers, Steve.

Hi my wife and myself spent 3 weeks in Cebu over Xmas, sure the traffic got worse, I noticed this time more white foriegners there more noticable in the malls, most have bald heads or shaven whats the big thing about that, i talked to a couple over the years I have visit there, to be honest last place I want to live, these men runiing away from things in their own countries, my wife and myself been married for nearly 11 years now been the best years of my life she work hard helps with the household finances even when we travel , I am 73 still work part time as a bus driver, she earns more money than me , however with her help i am grateful, lots Australian men here I know their Filipino wives dont help out, their wives send all their money back home to their lazy families, many of their relationships close in breaking up.
We  try to go to Cebu once a year , Cebu getting lot busier every time we go there, mor noticable in the big shopping malls at the fast food places kids getting fatter even the adults, one of our Filipino friend told me Filipinos getting more and more westernized .
We have some good friends there my wife ex boss family most doctors nurses always pick us at the airport take us places, ask nothing in return even take us out for meals and pay, we tried paying they got upset you are our guests here we pay, when there at xmas time they took us to Bohol for 2 days took us to the Chocolate hills all at their expense they so glad we come there, they said next time her ex boss partner said we going to take both of you to Palawan my sister lives there, what a great family even her ex boss keeps saying both of us are family to us, great family.
Last time we satayed at a condo Horizon 101 great place to stay can cook there, its in Mango Ave handy to everything, many eating places gret night life, about 10 minute walk at the circle to free bus to sm mall seaside also sm city also a free bus to Robinsons mall at Galalia. we always stay there now and other modes of transport.

pnwcyclist wrote:

I think the traffic congestion and pollution is what's gotten worse the most, haha. And I agree that a lot of A-holes have come here and taken advantage of the women and the power imbalance. Sad.  It's a hard enough place to get by if you're not well off but they deal with it.  But there are still plenty of sincere, nice women here.  So perhaps you need to let go of some of your preconceived notions and expectations.  Or maybe you are just reading them wrong. 

You said:
"If you are a resident or expat, good luck dating normal professional middle class filipina girls with a good job and Western sensibilities. Those types are practically untouchable. In fact you are actually held to US / Western standards if the girl deigns to have anything to do with foreigners."

Sure.  Why shouldn't they have their own standards? Their choice. And why would they necessarily be expected or even want to to date men from a foreign country and different culture? It's a lot of work and they will often be ostracized within their own social circle.  As for holding you to the standards of your own culture, that's a pretty good idea actually.  I see many westerners come to the Philippines and let go of their own standards. Completely. They do things they would never do at home in their own country. 

You said:
"Even if you are good looking and under 40, girls will actively avert their gaze unless they are hookers or maybe lower class women.

Oh yes. All the more reason to avert their eyes. It is still a conservative country in many ways and making eye contact with other men is not appropriate, especially if she is involved with someone. My woman would never do that. She is very attractive herself but doesn't even notice good looking guys that walk by, much less make eye contact. I have to point them out, haha. Most sincere women here are interested in a long term relationship with someone stable, not a "chick boy"..

I have been with the same woman for 5 years now and it takes a lot of work to sustain a relationship with large cultural and socio-economic differences, but it has also been very rewarding. She expects maturity and stability, but gives me a lot in return. It makes me a better person and while challenging at times, overall I feel extremely fortunate.

Of my 8 months of stay in the Philippines I dated 1 and turned down 4 who wanted to date me. No bragging. I don´t understand why people has so much difficulties with women especially with the locals. They notice if you´re a good natured person and interested in the culture. And they tend to gravitate towards you. The women and the locals were mostly responsible for conversation openings. Filipinos are wonderful people!

robal

Big cities have always been stress sinks.

Bald heads you say!!!..I think its a wise decission, especially here in the tropics. "Hair lice" is common problem, especially for kids. They spread easily from person to person, and sometimes are tough to get rid of. Their bites can make a your scalp itchy and irritated and thats why for a peaceful sleep I choose to get bald myself & I must confess I feel good!!!
Another point is I'd rather be a Big Fish in a small pond than a Small Fish in a Big one.
I love & respect my young woman too.
Cheers

manwonder wrote:

Bald heads you say!!!..I think its a wise decission, especially here in the tropics. "Hair lice" is common problem, especially for kids. They spread easily from person to person, and sometimes are tough to get rid of. Their bites can make a your scalp itchy and irritated and thats why for a peaceful sleep I choose to get bald myself & I must confess I feel good!!!
Another point is I'd rather be a Big Fish in a small pond than a Small Fish in a Big one.
I love & respect my young woman too.
Cheers

Plus there are few good barbers here.

A cheap DIY solution.

Plus it's many men's way of taking control away from pattern baldness.

But some people see it and their mind jumps to the skin head conclusion because that is all they know.

Even women in the Philippines like to cut their hair short because it is more comfortable and easy to care for.

Nielsen Flute wrote:

I suspect every retired boomer and his grandpa are flooding the city big time now and throwing money around and inflating girls' egos.

Tend to agree with this assessment alone!!...
Yes I do feel that this is becoming more rampant, even here in the provinces. I won't be surprised if this behaviour is actually being encouraged by their immediate family members (especially the younger woman) & yes It is a worrying trend!!!

Thanks

5g will make it all better.

Philippine Destiny wrote:

5g will make it all better.

Ageed 5G it will make it much better for them & not for the poor expats..More sad endings in the pipeline!!!

manwonder wrote:

Philippine Destiny wrote:

5g will make it all better.

Ageed 5G it will make it much better for them & not for the poor expats..More sad endings in the pipeline!!!

more people with faces stuck in smartphone while driving, in line at the store, while walking across the street

should make mr darwin happy

& Mr."pavlov" classical conditioning.

Philippine Destiny wrote:

5g will make it all better.

5G? Can you elaborate on this one? The way I see it they don´t have the infrastructure. Yeah, self-driving cars, your home refrigerator that talks to you at work telling you what´s missing, temperature controlled houses through AI. Girls would be glued to their smartphones ignoring all of us...

It hasn´t caught up yet in the US...

robal

5G is happening!!!
At least in singapore by end this year.

Time to invest into contact lens tech.

manwonder wrote:

Philippine Destiny wrote:

5g will make it all better.

Ageed 5G it will make it much better for them & not for the poor expats..More sad endings in the pipeline!!!

Expats should have more latitude to exploit this technology revolution...

manwonder wrote:

5G is happening!!!
At least in singapore by end this year.

Time to invest into contact lens tech.

The one that also measures your blood sugar? I would prefer one that has x-ray capability! 

manwonder wrote:

5G is happening!!!
At least in singapore by end this year.

Time to invest into contact lens tech.

Good to hear!

robal wrote:

Philippine Destiny wrote:

5g will make it all better.

5G? Can you elaborate on this one? The way I see it they don´t have the infrastructure. Yeah, self-driving cars, your home refrigerator that talks to you at work telling you what´s missing, temperature controlled houses through AI. Girls would be glued to their smartphones ignoring all of us...

It hasn´t caught up yet in the US...

robal

Globe is already doing it
https://www.sunstar.com.ph/article/1811212

5g is about throughput.

The old 3 & 4 g towers are few and far between ...miles between.

5g needs to be maybe every 500 feet. But 5g base stations are not buildings with 300 foot antennas.

They have a much smaller foot print.

5g operates at a higher frequency so it does not travel through distance or obstructions as well, hence the need to put them everywhere. But you do get higher data rates.

And soon IOT (Internet of things) follows where everything talks to everything else.

And that is why everything is migrating to IPv6 with many more addresses. You need that when every light bulb is addressable.

But I was just being sarcastic. This crap will make nothing better.

It will be even worse for the old expat who remains stuck in 2G/3G world.

Philippine Destiny wrote:

robal wrote:

Philippine Destiny wrote:

5g will make it all better.

5G? Can you elaborate on this one? The way I see it they don´t have the infrastructure. Yeah, self-driving cars, your home refrigerator that talks to you at work telling you what´s missing, temperature controlled houses through AI. Girls would be glued to their smartphones ignoring all of us...

It hasn´t caught up yet in the US...

robal

Globe is already doing it
https://www.sunstar.com.ph/article/1811212

5g is about throughput.

The old 3 & 4 g towers are few and far between ...miles between.

5g needs to be maybe every 500 feet. But 5g base stations are not buildings with 300 foot antennas.

They have a much smaller foot print.

5g operates at a higher frequency so it does not travel through distance or obstructions as well, hence the need to put them everywhere. But you do get higher data rates.

And soon IOT (Internet of things) follows where everything talks to everything else.

And that is why everything is migrating to IPv6 with many more addresses. You need that when every light bulb is addressable.

But I was just being sarcastic. This crap will make nothing better.

Many analysts say that it will be more dangerous because it´s easier to hack and would put power grids to be controlled and therefore prone for ransom. And how about accidents on self-driving cars?

They still have not installed full 4g where I am.