Studying in Japan

Hi all,

First time posting on this forum. Was looking if someone had a similar experience as I’m having now. Any help is appreciated.

So I have been in a language school for almost a year and a half and still have 8 months to graduate. Been always doing my very best and had very good marks in all of the tests, JLPT etc... a few weeks ago one of the teachers asked me to talk to me in private and told me that some of the teachers have complained about me that I am a scary and rude person. Before jumping to conclusions I assure you that I have never ever talked rude to a teacher nor unpolitely. Sometimes other students talk to teachers same level as friends, but I never do that. Also in difference to other students, when getting out of the class and back in, always using etiquette, never used my phone or slept during class and always paid attention. According to the teacher my problem was that I ask too many questions and the teachers are feeling intimidated and feel that they are not doing a good job, hence making them feel down, hence making me rude. Also sometimes I cross my arms during class (which I’m not the only one) and that’s also making me rude. Even though I didn’t agree, I apologized deeply and from that day onwards, really kept asking questions to a very minimum, no talk and no crossing hands. Still I’m getting this negative vibe from some of the teachers. For example (not to bluff) I’m the only one who live with other Japanese people and who have a Japanese girlfriend and that helped me to increase my speaking level big time (still a very long way to go). So compared to most others, I feel I have a better level of speaking. Still one of the teachers, whenever I ask a question, she replies saying I can’t understand your Japanese while other students who speak using very bad grammar etc she does understand them. So in a way she’s asking me to shut up. It was not a conversation. It was a question during class, and this happened more than once.

I have a Japanese girlfriend and very soon to be wife. I asked her and she told me that she doesn’t see me as rude nor scary. Also asked my Kendo sensei and all he said was just forget it. Easy to say, but it still irritates me to be treated that way. I’m almost 31 years old and definitely cannot accept people who treat me as a child.

Any advice from someone is greatly appreciated cause these things are making me feel very irritated from the inside and sometimes my face is very easy to read when I’m frustrated etc... on another note I have never had any kind of problems with my teachers from last year, my other friends or at work.

Thank you for your time reading this.

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