Dealing with loneliness in Brazil

Hi Priscilla,

I am here looking for some friends. Let me know if you are interested in making friends

Taisy

Loneliness!  When I first came to Aracaju, Sergipe in the Peace Corps in the 1970s, I was reminded daily how remote Brazil was from everything familiar to me.  A letter took two weeks to go from me to my parents, and the answer took two weeks to come back.  If we wanted to talk on the phone, we'd schedule it a month in advance.  I'd go to the Embratel office downtown, pay my deposit, and wait to be called to a booth, while an operator connected the call.  Urgent messages, both within Brazil and to and from other countries, went by telegram.
By the end of the day, I was desperate to hear some English, and would fiddle for hours with the dial on the short wave.  The most reliable signal was domestic news from Canada, of all places.  Those huge transmitters outside Montreal for Radio Canada's Northern Service had to be so powerful to blast through the interference around the Arctic Circle that they bathed the whole Western Hemisphere in their signal. Eh, thanks neighbours!
So much better now, with cellphones, Internet, and WhatsApp.  We can be and are in constant contact with anyone who matters to us, anywhere.  It's a wonder every day for me, and never gets old.

I 'm introverted it is not a big problem.

I have my wife our dog and her family.

I have some American friends.

I watch a lot of American television.

Jim

It is whatever you make it.  Anyone making a move internationally really needs to give some serious thought as to what they are going to do to occupy their time, after all it is not all about the beach, bars and........girls!  Fore me, I'm retired so I wasn't going to have a work network to dig into.   I settled on the beach in the NE of Brazil with limited ability to speak Portuguese.    One must push themselves to learn and speak with the ability to at least get your point across.  My biggest challenge was to find something that would occupy my time and something I would enjoy.  My solution was my limited amateur photography experience.  Before I left the USA, I purchased a new DSLR camera and upgraded my photo and video processing software and I really wanted to get into flying a quality 4k drone for both vids and aerial photography.  Yep, I spent some money before I left but I now take real estate photos to include aerial shots from the drone.  This enabled me to meet new people, establish new friendships and do some limited travel in the NE.  When I'm not shooting real estate, I'm on the computer learning new methods of photography shooting both during the night and day.  So before moving to any country..........have a plan!

PRACILA GOOD MORNING . HOW ARE YOU ? How is your life in Brazil ? Am here in Campo Grande living and working here . The capital city of Mato Gross. Here it is fine . Nice city and i think many job vacancies i heard .

Good topic!
I am married to a Brazzilian lady and love her to death! But, I can not spend all my time with her, it's not healthy. I understand this Subject very much! It gets very lonely here sometimes, I speak enough Portuguese to get by and survive, but where I live (in Porto Seguro Bahia) there really is not many people who speak English, not many at all. I think that is what makes it so lonely at times, I can be surrounded by thousands of people, but some times AM unable to communicate with them in a great degree.
I do have friends here, mostly friends or family of my wife. So, in essence they are really her friends. Yes they all treat me very well, but still are not truly friendships that I have made over the years but rather friendships that are forced upon them and myself...not that I don't value these friends, I do, but it is different to have adopted friends so to speak rather than friendships one forges themselve.
I sometimes, usually once a day go to a local lanchenett/store for cigarettes, get a coffee and sit there for an hour or so just to people watch, it is located right next to the busy entry/exit of the town's Balsa (ferry) that shuttles people from two parts of the city together. I have formed my own friendship with a couple people from this activity, the owner of the store and another woman who goes there daily. Forming the friendship with the owner of this store has been very good. She is a Very stand offish woman who the locals are intimidated by, but my ignorance so to speak helped to form a bond with her by not being intimidated or afraid of her, hahaha. We will have a coffee or beer and talk for an hour or two sometimes, she trying to have me help her with English and I using her to assist my Portuguese. There are absolutely no ATM machines on this side of the river and she doesn't accept credit or debit cards but kindly offers me credit when I have no cash, wich Just Astounded and Amazed my wife! As this woman gives no one credit, she even has a big sign posted saying So, hahaha...I enjoy sitting there with her and just talking about absolutely nothing and everything, it does help my feeling of loneliness during the day!
My wife and I eat out Alot and this helps to fill my days and we do do some activities with her family and friends, we live on the beach so i have that at my disposal as well but, still I know I lack friendships...just being able call someone and say something like "Hey, wanna do lunch" or "wanna hang out on beach" things like that.
I am not crying by any means, I have a wonderful life and a life I have chosen...so, any thoughts, suggestions and or tips from you fine folks is appreciated!
Lawrence

Great and thoughtful reply. I could relate to much of what you wrote.

Going back to your family and friends really helps when you feel very lonely. So far, it is the best solution for me.
I lived in Rio and there I found it quite easy to make friends (especially, the ones who speak English and already travelled somewhere). People in Sao Paulo look very friendly too.
But in the city where I live now (Belem/PA)..it's a little different. This was a little shock for me because I thought before that people are the same everywhere in Brazil.

I have a year old daughter who's born in Salvador that keeps me busy and a crazy wife that keeps me running all the time. Social media is a major player in daily activities. ☺

..a seven year old...not year old.

Keep busy! Brazil is a wonderful country and the people are very social. There is no bubble and people are very close.

I have had no issues with loneliness, because I'm so busy working and socializing. I actually get burnt out with having too many events to attend.

I've been here 2.5 years and haven't returned home. I miss my family but there is planes that go both ways. They can come here anytime.

I have 2 very active boys (11&7) who keep me busy every day of the week. My wife plans each weekend to the maximum and we have tons of friends.

I think if you are experiencing loneliness you need to return home to your country. Maybe Brazil isn't for you!

It can get lonely but at first I played a lot of golf. Then torn my rotator cuff and now limited. Thanks to a great Portuguese teacher who has lived in the USA once a week in class we speak English and I learn Portuguese.
I found at least a one week vacation a year in the US takes care of my food fix. (I must limit salt intake and this is difficult in Brazil.) We have a pool so summers are spent outside using churrasco and pool helps.
With the Iguacu Fall, Argentina and PY all next door we find things to do.
At least there is English movies and TV shows which helps.

When I first arrived in Brazil I hadn't many friends. Unlike many people who came to Brazil for a woman, for a job, I came to train full time in a mma academy, so I got introduced to many people really fast, who also forced me to speak Portuguese. I think the biggest problems of expats is that they don't want to learn Portuguese or don't participate in social life (sports, entertainment). Nowadays when I am in Brazil, I wish I could be alone sometimes.

Hello,
    Can you help me where can i search a job . Not for me but for my friend wants to work here in Brazil. He is a survey  engineer. .
    Than you

i agree with those that mention family. I live in Northern Brazil with my wife (Brazilian) She has a ton of family here. If you find someone Brazilian, especially bilingual, you will immediately have

a ton of friends.

Roddie

I am spending 4 months in Rio Grande de Sul in Porto Alegre, I go out with my girlfriend's friends, It gets frustrating at times as none of them speak English so I speak Portuguese all the time which can get tiring, it's also a dangerous city after dark and in places during the day so the chance of meeting others outside of my partner's social circle is difficult. I am coming to the end of my trip to Urugauya and head back to Brazil next week, it was a great fix as it's far more secure than Brazil.

@Bigsexy I totally agree with you. I went to Brazil for three months to live with my wife's family and see if I liked it. Someone I met in a store who spoke English and turned out to be my first Brazilian friend introduced me to the Jiu Jitsu academy he goes to. That made my whole experience. I joke and say that some men go to Brazil and fall in love with a woman; I fell in love with a group of smelling dudes. The guys at the academy were so kind, generous and patient with me. Just spoke Portuguese at me.  It was the best experience. The academy in Brazil became my social center. It totally made me feel like I was assimilating in the culture. I found great friends and great affection on the mats. I was forced to listen and speak Portuguese. And it forced me outside of the safety of the relationships with my wife's family.  I'll never forget someone had me in a side lapel choke and I basically spazed and rolled into it and essentially assisted in choking myself out. I came too with my training partner shaking and hugging me with great concern. Our Maestre got in my face and with a big smile said, " Joao, treine duro, mas lute com calma" I return in two days where my wife and her family and our dogs await. I am going to go train at the academy that night!

only problem I have is getting time alone.  I don't have the language skills to get across to people that I want and need some time alone, I'm not rejecting them, but just taking care of myself and my affairs.

@duzzimenino l first got interested in Brazil because of jiu-jitsu. That was about 1998. I made my first trip in 2002.  I met my wife there.

I don't train anyone. Too hard on the body at my age. My joints just won't take it. All l do now is yoga and long walks. But the fighter instinct never goes away. Even now whenever l feel a tense situation l am

already planning what l would do. For sure nobody is going to get the drop on me.

As far as getting lonely goes, it's not in my genetics l guess. I have too many interests to ever get bored or lonely. As you get older you realize that every day (even the bad ones) are a blessing.

You often get time alone if you upset your Brazilain girlfriend along with nothing to eat but cold shoulder rsrs