New to the forum, and homesick.

I have been here in Germany since December and feel terribly out of place.  My fiancé works long hours and when he gets home he is tired.  We have socialized a bit with old friendŽs of his, but they always speak German around me, and it not only makes me feel uncomfortable, it makes me feel unwelcome.  They just ignore me as if I do not exist, my fiancé I think forgets that I cannot speak the language yet.  I cannot take a language course in our small town until my visa is approved and I have my passport back.  I am at a loss and so lonely, there are days when I just want to give up and move back to the US, but then I remember why I am truly here, I am here to be with the love of my life, and that is the most important thing.  I welcome any advice!

Hello Emilie!Welcome!Hang in there...

hi Emilie..i know how u feel,just like i did when i was new in Germany..everything was strange to me..i wanted to watch Tv but didnt understand any word, i went alone in a shoestore tryin to buy me a pair of shoes.i tried to talk in english but they didnt understand me...and im almost just home everyday with my kids while my husband is at work..i was just totally homesick all the time...and then i started my Deutschkurs, and slowly got the heck of some things especially the language..and now i can actually go out on my own..in fact im doing driving lessons now and soon ill have my Drivers Licence..and my advice to you is to be patient a little..time will come and youll take up Deutschkurs too and im sure youll learn German in due time...for the meantime u can start up learning the basic things like Guten Morgen,Guten Abend, Dankeschoen etc..its a lil tough when starting here in Germany,but i know u can do it...Cheer up...

Thank you so much!

It helps me to know that I am not alone and other people have had similar problems.

Hi Emily,

I have just moved to Hamburg too, and am looking to expand my social scene, by joining as many groups and clubs as I can, as I have moved here without my family.

I enjoy meeting new people, socialising in general, and just having a nice time with those I meet.

I know how you feel about being isolated etc,..as I have moved here alone, so I know it is tough.


Thanks a lot,

Chris

maybe it sounds a bit "pushy", but I do mean well: I think your fiance should be the one helping you out until you get some German going. Surely I understand that someone works hard, but it doesnot take much time to regularly send you sms, or arrange some activities during weekends where you can participate. If I were in your situation, I would surely ask my partner to do that.

In Germany they i have alot of organization where you can interact with different people, from there you will meet new people to talk to. All the best.

Hey Emilie,

I'm a month later than your post, so I hope you are doing better and have your visa. It seems a little weird that you can't sign up for the course without the visa. I thought the course was a requirement for the visa, and really as an American you should be able to take a short course even without a visa. 90 days I think is our limit even without the support of your husband.

Just did a Map lookup on your town. Yup, pretty small place from the looks of it. Do you have a transport card? I know in the Freiburg region here a monthly card that covers almost an hour in every direction is under 50 Euros. Think about getting into the bigger towns. Kempten looks like it? Use some of your days to wander and see a bigger place. In my experience, small-town Germany can be quite isolationist. Not even for expats, for Germans too. You are also likely to find more English speakers in bigger cities. Especially if there is a University there.  Also check out Irish Pubs for evening fun.

Especially if it is helpful to read that others are in your situation, you might try looking for blogs about expat wives. I can suggest a few of you'd like. Having friends online is not the same as in person, but it can help to talk to someone who has gone through the same thing.

Cheers, hope things get better for you.
Andy

I'm not living in Germany at the moment so I'm learning the language through a free online course at dwelle.de that a German teacher friend of mine recomended.

it's not as good as a course where you can meet people and speak with others, but perhaps it would help you not feel so lost in the language if you could grasp a few of the basic concepts?

I've also found a large community of English speakers in Germany at the website http://www.toytowngermany.com/

there are posts from people in smaller towns there so maybe you can find someone who's in a similar situation as you there.

Hello Emily! i have just read your post now and i dont know if you are doing well there or so but anyway, i just want you to know that you are not alone, alot of people had been there and was able to cope up, just always think of this, if those peoples were able to survive, sure you can do it too, ok? :) i will be arriving in hamburg on 22nd of april and like you, i also have a german partner, my husband is a soldier of the airforce so on weekdays he is in aurich for about 3-4hours drive away from our city. by just thinking of the idea that i will be alone for the weekdays is kind of a sad thing already for me, but i will try to fight this bad feelings and i hope you do the same also :) i suggest you find some christian churches where you can meet new friends, there are english speaking churches in germany, building a relationship and having a community with this kind of people are the best way to enjoy not only your time as a new immigrant there but also enjoy getting more knowledge knowing God and making freinds :) i pray that you'll get use to your new life there. also, you can try to check this website to practice learning deutsch online deutschseite.de/inhalt.html it is one of the site i have used to study online before i went to formal school learning basic deutsch. i hope you find this helpful and easy to use as it was to me. God Bless :)

Hello,

I just joined this website today.  I see your post is rather old.  :)  How are things going for you?  Are you still living in Germany and are you feeling more comfortable here?  What city do you live in?  We are an American family who has been living here for just over a year.  We lived near Bayreuth our first year and now we are down in the Allgäu region close to Kempten.  If you are not too far away it would be great to get to know you and hang out. 

Cheers,
Kristin

In Germany , they have many options to learn Germans, there are state owned schools and private schools, these schools not only help you to learn language and improve vocabulary but based on my experience you come to know new people from different couturiers, and kind so socializing if not every day then at least few days in a week,

I would suggest , try " abend Schule " evening schools,  normally arranged in the buildings of " Volkhochsculen" in almost every city of Germany--- Give it try- Good luck

Reg
S. Haider