Older Brazilian Men, with Teenage Girls, normal?

Hello,

I am going to be marrying a woman in Brazil next month. I am an American man. I am 37 and she is five years younger than me. I have known her for about one year now.

Recently, we were talking about our past relationships and she told me that her first boyfriend was when she was 17 years old. He was 35. She says that she started having sex with him when she turned 18.

She kept saying that he was a good man and that it was her choice to be with him. Also that the society in which she lived in Brazil accepted the relationship and her own mother was ok with it also.

Her relationship with this man, 18 years older than her, lasted about five years and then he moved to another city. Then she found another boyfriend who was approx ten years older than her.

As you all can imagine, as an American man, I was very disturbed by this information. This really changed my image of her and the society from where she is from. Having lived in the U.S. my entire life, this is an issue that makes me sick.

It seems like, in Brazil this is common. Where men in their 30's (or older) will start dating and having sex with young teenage girls. It is accepted and nobody says or does anything about it. Sometimes it seems, that it is actually even preferred.

Here in the U.S., if a 35 year old man started dating a 17 year old girl, the parents (or anyone who learned about this) would call the police and try to get this man in prison for statutory rape.

I became very angry and disgusted when she told me this about her past. I do not see how a 35 year old man has anything in common with a 17 year old girl. He only wanted sex and that shows he is someone who has no morals, ethics or character. 35 year old men, should not be going to the local high school to find their next sexual relationship.

But then she tried to explain that he was a good influence on her. That while other boys her age were only interested in playing soccer and talking about stupid things, he was already working as a lawyer and helped her go to law school also. She later graduated and is now working as a lawyer in Brazil.

My question is: what should I do, this is situation? How to I deal with this?

Obviously, I would like to marry her, because I am in love with her. But I am worried, because, if we marry and we have a daughter. When our daughter is 17 and wants to do the same thing as her mother, I would be dead against it. For example, if a 35 year old man came to my house to take my 17 year old daughter out on a date, I would immediately grab my cell phone and call the police. Because I know his intentions are only to have sex with her. I would be outraged.

I know these are strong cultural differences between people in Brazil and people here in the U.S. I try not to be harsh, or overly judgmental, but it seems that Brazilian men are predators, in a society that accepts it. It seems like an uncivilized society.

Please give me your opinions and thoughts about how to deal with this. Please offer some advice, thank you so much.

Confused in USA

Dear Confused, I feel for you. In my case, my daughter is 15 going to 16 and is sexually active. I have the same worries as you. But let me ask you, would you live in Brazil or USA? In Europe people are more liberal regarding underage sex, but it is normal for kids here to only interrelate to people of their own age. So, it will be difficult to find a couple among a teen and an adult (besides that the same as in USA, it is illegal here). Furthermore, relations among older men and young women are rear. Normally people in Europe after 18 they stick to their own age groups. Some exceptions.... I think, are among Russian and Polish girls who will go with older men... An explanation for this will be as a way to escape from their circumstances. I comprehend your disgust when we are talking about a 17 year old girl. But, would you have the same problem when the girl turns 18? My suggestion will be to be more open and understanding about the whole thing. In my opinion, is more productive to realize the futility of trying to apply our moral to everyone. Also, you seem to be worry about something that may or may not happen in the future (Your daughter 17, wanting to date a 35 year old man????), I am sure that you as a supportive father will have enough influence with your daughter for her to consider your values and points of views to save you from such calamities. Regards.

Dear Confused,

I take it that you know absolutely NOTHING about Brazil and the Brazilian culture and also that you are a bit of a Puritan.

First of all, the age hang-up you express is not part of the Brazilian culture. You seem to forget that this woman was not born on the moment you met her and she is not a child, she is now 32 years old. She has a past, as do you. It is just that... the PAST and has no relation to TODAY whatsoever. You too have a past, is it spotless? If it is you have my congratulations.

To answer your question, yes it is quite common here to find couples where there is a large age difference, both those where the man is older than the woman and where the woman is older than the man. You can't impose your rather old fashioned standards on others, especially here in Brazil. I say old fashioned because alhough I was born and raised in Canada (and we are a conservative people) we don't seem to have quite the profound age prejudice you seem to have. I did not come to Brazil ten years ago with any preconceived notions and soon saw and accepted the fact that age was really not an issue here when dealing with adults. The age of consent here is 16 so she was not a baby when she met the man.

I am 63 years of age, my wife is a wonderful 26 years old black woman... fully 37 years younger than I. Nobody here thinks it strange. We have a wonderful and extremely very happy relationship and a happy, intelligent and very sociable son who is 4 1/2 years old. Even my mother-in-law is considerably younger than I (she's only 48) and she has been the strongest supporter of our relationship from the outset. My (now adult) children in Canada, all of whom but the youngest, are older than my present wife also had no problems accepting our age difference.

You ask how to deal with this "problem"... so here goes. It is not a problem for anyone but you. What you should do to deal with it is to examine your own prejudices and overcome them. Deal with the fact that this woman is now an adult and that she had a separate existance before you came along (and will continue to do so whether you and she ultimately get together or not). If you plan on living here in Brazil you need to get a real dose of reality and accept the fact that you are not in your own little corner of the world anymore, lighten up and accept the way things are here in Brazil. Otherwise you will be letting yourself into a lot of unnecessary headaches of your own making.

Oh, and yes... inter-racial marriages are also the accepted norm here too. So don't be surprised when you find black/white, Brazilian/non-Brazilian couples everywhere too. Deal with it!

"Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore Toto," as Dorothy would say.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator

It's neither a culture nor a lifestyle. It is also not something that you should truly be worried about. As James says, it's her past and we all have our pasts. I believe that Brazilians like any other nationality have their own unique ways of going through life and in order to truly understand the person, it's important that you understand where they come from. I can't say much about marriages as I've only been married 2 and 1/2 months but what I have come to realize after living here for the past 7 months (not including the 2 months I spent here 2 years ago)... there is much to learn about this amazing country and it's people. Every family is different and like in the states, it all depends on the family background and where they come from.

Worrying about your future child is a bridge that you will cross when you come to it.... it's all in the family unit, if you bring your child up well in a disciplined and loving environment with openess, responsibility and understanding they'll well grow up to be (hopefully) a responsible adult. Our world these days isn't the same as it was when we were growing up, things have changed and nothing is 100% sure.

Growing up, I dated men who were much older to me, in fact, it was a preference that I made but that doesn't make me any less than those who dated younger men, in fact dating these older men thought me much about life and making decisions in life and being an adult, if anything, it only opened up my eyes and made me who I am today...so don't sweat about it man!..
But I truly suggest you spending time here in Brazil getting to know the people and the community in which she grew up in.

I'm still learning a lot about my husband and I've visited his family living outside the cities and life is so different, it's opened up my eyes and helped me understand my husband better.

Good luck and trying looking at the glass as half full instead of half empty.

Cheers!

Before there is a flood of posts about my situation, that I'm probably a rich old man and that's what my marriage is based on let me make it clear right now. I am FAR from being wealthy, I work hard for a living just to get by. My wife and her family saw in me a man of character, educated, cultured and with ambition that could provide a stable future for her and our child.... not necessarily wealth, though God willing that too will come my way one day if the books that I have written take off as I expect them to.

Thank you all for replying to my original post.

I know what you are all saying, that everyone has a past.

Yes, I also have a past, and I had relationships before her. But my ex girlfriends were 1 or 2 years younger than me.

I think it is something I have to accept and move on.

I had a detailed conversation with her today and I apologized to her.

I said to her, that the age difference (35 year old man with a 17 year old girl) does bother me. But he was most likely a positive influence on her, since he was a lawyer, employed and this resulted in her later going to law school.

She also said that she would not want our daughters to start having sexual relations when they are teenagers, with men 2 decades older than them.

She did it, but she does not feel she would recommend the same to our daughters.

So we ended the conversation and will move on.

But I still think that older Brazilian men should not be trying to start sexual relationships with young 17 year old girls.

It is ok, to act like an older brother to them, or an uncle to them, mentor them, help them with their education etc.

But when you are 36 and you start having sex with a 18 year old girl, you are crossing the line and robbing her of her innocence.

Confused, glad you are getting over this!  I am in agreement with james and it was kind of him to reveal personal details of his life to help you.   The other thing I would add is that a 17 or 18 year old Brazilian girl is much more mature than most Americans the same age, given her experiences in this liberal society.  It is also biologically normal for men to seek younger women and younger women to seek older men.   This is supported by science, and easily seen in the number of divorces of same aged couples when the man chooses a younger lover.

Enjoy Brazil and leave the American hangups in America!

I am Brazilian and I'll tell you something. Here in Brazil all the government knows what happens and is mobilized against it. Except that according to Brazilian law, rape is a crime only if the girl is under 14 years of age, more than 14 years is not a crime or rape, and is concentido the family. And I see that Brazilian men are predators, by chance you do not like sex? Started their sexual activity after 30? Nowhere on the planet is different from Brazil ok? The difference is that when dealing with foreigners, there is much sex tourism in our country, but there is also a strong fight against it. And do not think girls are prostitutes here, famine or poverty, most are too lazy to work to earn you a salary, but because it is easier to have sex with strangers in a 3 or 4 weeks or even less time and earn the same amount .! But as your question, sit back and marry the girl you really like it, because you do not know whether to have children with her, and she will be another mother and father you will be the same child, the two will raise the child ok?! Here in Brazil there is no bias against younger women with older men, or the contrary, no relation between whites and blacks, after all, Brazil is a country mystified, consisting of Indians, blacks and whites. And I know that in Europe there is also this kind of prejudice. I think the problem is with you, with its conservatism. She now has 32 ​​years, and had a past like you. She had boyfriends, friends, and stories that make it what it is today. Review your concepts and especially if you really love this woman!
  Excuse me, but it seems that you lived in a bubble until recently and now clashes with everything! You happen to be the family of Siddhartha Gautama the Budda?

It's strange how this thread changed to one about "underaged sex" when that was not what it started out to be.

Confused was concerned about his prospective girlfriend's past when she was 18 years of age and therefore legally an adult. What the initial problem was is a case of his own cultural, moral and/or religious standards, age bias, etc., in conflict with his present situation and the reality of today.

The issue of underaged sexual activity is another totally. Sad to say, yes, sexual tourism and child prostitution exist here in Brazil as they do in many other countries. The Brazilian government, judicial system and police continue to take strong and decisive action to wipe it out - Thank God. It is unfortunate that we still have a number of foreign tourists coming here for no other reason than to exploit children, as they do in the Phillipines, Asia, Latin America and other underdeveloped nations. It's a sad and very complex situation because you can't resolve the problem by simply closing the doors, barring all tourism since that would have a very bad effect on the economy of any country that tried.

I don't know the legalities, however I would support a move toward making criminal background checks part of the process for issuing Tourist Visas worldwide, countries would then have the ability to bar individuals who have been convicted of sex crimes among other things. Would this work to eliminate the problem of child prostitution and exploitation? I think not, but it certainly would help reduce it.

And you're right... it's not only foreigners involved in the abuse and exploitation of children here in Brazil. You need only watch the news broadcasts to know that, but you also see the serious manner in which they deal with the offenders too.

wjwoodward, very good suggestions. We are all responsible for child sex abuses.

My point is for understanding to both parts. On one side you have the sick perverted adults who had not found ways to deal with their sickness. On the other you have Young people in their puberty who are finding their own sexuality and power, their sexual desires at young ages (13, 14, 15?), which is normal.

Two needs that can meet and satisfy one another. But as a society we think they having sex with one another is wrong.

Yes it is...... I am thinking...... I am thinking.... Can I judge????.... My daughter is 15..... I will "kill" (I am being dramatic) any ********** adult who will seduce her .... She has needs of a young woman.... She sleeps with her boyfriend who is also 15 ..... that is accepted here.... they are both kids.... That is OK...... not against the law .... I am thinking....

On the other hand I am not a young woman. I can not understand why a young woman will want to have sex with an old man. Maybe his experience? perhaps she did not have a father? for Money? curiosity? what about love? the Electra complex?

Can we judge all adults of being sick and label them as perverts for wanting to have sex with an under 18 year old person? where do we draw the line? 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12,....

The laws for many countries had already decided for us... they must be 18. period....

But apparently not in Brazil..... 17 is ok... even 14 may be ok with parental consent?....

My point is: let's not judge! every case is different, we can not generalized.

Hope this help.

Quite to the contrary, I am not judging. First of all one must understand that the culture here is quite different and young people are quite sophisticated since they are exposed to different values.

The law is clear here and it is evenly applied to both Brazilians and foreigners alike. Some may say that prostitution is a "victimless crime", but it is not. Child prostitution exists in Brazil for a number of reasons, but these kids do not CHOOSE to enter into that lifestyle. Not often does somebody put a gun to their head and force them into the life, but their economic situation can be as real a threat and this leads them into prostitution as a means of survival. Sometimes even the child's own parents encourage it........ sad.

Whatever the reason the child is ALWAYS a victim. They lose the innocence of youth, face incredible dangers and many end up dead. Fortunately we have a government here that takes the matter quite seriously and is constantly taking measures to eliminate the problem. Well,all measures except making sure that everybody here has a decent wage and nobody needs to prostitute themselves in order to survive. I think that is a long way off as being seen as the only true solution.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog

I am in agreement with you about Child prostitution. Lets protect our children by all means.

But I was talking about the possibility that an adult and a minor for a reason other than prostitution may agree to have sex to one another.

But as you said, Child prostitution exists in some parts of the world and that is very sad. The origin for child prostitution is 100% poverty. The market and mercenaries who had found another way to make a profit by exploiting a human fellow.

Yes, another problem entirely from this thread. Cheers!

One post has been removed due to offensive content.

Thanks,

Francesca

this thread has completely changed my view of Brazil, I am from India and completely agree with confusedinusa of his concerns related to underage sex in Brazil. Its really pity in Brazilian society that girls from good families can do such things quite frequently. Brazilian parents, what the hell is that!!

Hi Ashu007

I don't know why this thread has changed your view of Brazil. The thread changed drastically from what it was intended and started out to be.... it simply was about the fact that everybody has a PAST and that is their right. It drifted off topic and became one about underage sex, which was never the case since confusedinusa was talking about a woman who is now in her thirties.

Yes, young people are sexually active, not only here in Brazil but in many countries. I seem to recall seeing numerous news reports about forced child marriages and arranged marriages in India. While I am not in favor of either of those practices I don't think any less of India for it. Just something to reflect upon.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog

Sir wjwoodward

Marriage is a sacred institution in India. Its very rare to find people here who are sexually active at such a young age, and people who are sexually active are considered very immoral. The parents of such kids can face really very serious consequences, be it socially or legally here. Girls of such families are considered very bad and if somebody gets to know about their past like that, they won't get married in future. Sex is something to be have after marriage, here. I don't know how Brazilian parents allow their children like that!!! People here want to get their girls married here early because they don't want to see their daughter getting engaged with multiple partners, its a fear.
Our society have a motto: ONE MAN with ONE WOMAN(for whole of their lifetime). MARRIAGE IS SACRED, it holy!!

Hi Ashu007,

That is very nice to know.

The one beautiful thing about travel is that we are exposed to other cultures, different traditions, different ways of life. I come from Canada a very beautiful country. The people in my home country are very conservative, however adolescents do become sexually active in some cases. I'm sure that you would not condemn the entire Canadian population for the actions of a few. One cannot impose their own standards on another person, nor can an entire society or culture be judged by the standards of another. Each one is inherantly different. Could you imagine what your life would be like if you were forced to observe a Saudi lifestyle or Russian or Chinese or Brazilian? Would you want THOSE cultures casting judgement on your culture? I think the obvious answer would be no.... your culture belongs to you by right.

Cheers

Sir wjwoodward,

I respect your views and in fact those(your) are the views of anybody from any culture, I also think like that when it comes to observing others, everybody have their ways of living. But, it was just my views on Brazil. But in case of Brazil these types of cases are not few, or I am wrong? The bottom-line question is "Does an average Brazilian Middle Class family goes through this phase of life when their children are in teenage?"
Yes or No?

Hi Again Ashu007,

The answer to your question is no, they don't.

The more afluent and educated any population becomes the more "conventional" their lifestyle and traditions become. You must remember that like many parts of India, Brazil is a country of extreme poverty despite the fact that the economy is presently the world's sixth largest. For a very long time the average Brazilian has been oppressed and deprived both of a decent education and salary. This has only within the past few decades begun to change. Nowadays more young Brazilians are getting a better education and have more future opportunities open to them than they did before. This is reflected in a change in their attitudes and culture. You also must understand that such fundamental change in a society is a slow and often painful process. Brazil is changing, perhaps not as quickly as we would all like it to, but it is changing nonetheless. Give Brazil and her people a chance.

I can tell you from my own experience of living in this country for over ten years now that the Brazilian people are wonderful, warm, friendly, receptive and more collaborative than almost any society I know. If you get the chance to come here to visit one day you will see exactly what I mean. You too will gain the attitude that I have, that despite any problems the country may have, it is a truly wonderful place to be..... predominantly because of the Brazilian people.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog

i understand when a young woman is interested in an older man (since men in her age group might still be immature). overall, based on my experience and that of close friends, the attraction to an older man wears off. i think in the youth obsessed world we live in, it is only a matter of time until the woman realizes she would rather be with someone younger physically and mentally.

so i would relax, your child is not yet born and might not have the same attractions as your fiancé once did.... she eventually got over it right?

Hi Lingcdesign,

While your observations may be correct in many cases they do not necessarily hold true all of the time. Are you talking about experience here in Brazil or in your home country? I know that in my home country, Canada, such a relationship probably would not stand a great chance of even starting let alone lasting too long. However, here in Brazil things are vastly different. It is not uncommon to see couples with significant age differences for a number of very valid reasons which I will not go into in this thread. Suffice to say that maturity is one of the factors as you rightly mention.

Here in Brazil because of the cultural differences from many other countries, the lower index of age prejudice and more liberal thinking these relations seem to stand a better chance in lasting for the long term more than they might in other countries. There is a huge age difference between my wife and I, however I can say with absolute certainty that I have never been happier. My marriage is based on mutual respect, love and consideration for one another. My wife is wise beyond her years, sees character as one of my best qualities and is not interested in money, because I'm far from being rich. We also have a wonderful son who will soon be five years old and my wife sees that because of me he has a brilliant future that most young Brazilian boys and girls could only dream of.

So, you can't always judge a book by its cover, nor can you paint all spring / autumn (or even spring / winter as in my case) relationships with the same brush. As they so rightly say here in Brazil..... "cada um é cada um!"

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog

Sir wjwoodward

Thank you very much for all the clarifications.

Sorry to come back to the underaged sex topic, but I work with teenagers in Canada and I'm quite aware of the developmental phases of teenagers. It is very hard for me to read some of the posts and not react.

Why is it wrong for teenager to have sex with (much) older people? Because they are not developed yet in a way that they think about the consequences of their acts like adults and they also don't judge the situations like adults. It doesn't matter which culture they are in, it is biological, their brains are just not wired like that yet! They are more impulsive, more in the moment.

An adult is fully able to understand that this young person still has a lot to learn and needs to discover sex to their own speed, similar more or less with others their age, not be taught by an elder who often is -because of the age- viewed by them as an authority, making them more vulnerable. Adults don't have to teach them about it, they have to respect that boundary and not take advantage of it, whether it is the "desire" of the teenager or not. The opinion of the teenager don't count, they may seem like meaning it but they are not fully aware of implications and consequences. Let the teenagers have their own experiment with people with the same developmental level, meaning other teenagers the same age! Let the adults be the responsible ones.

Let them be kids...play in your own playground.

And of course, I want to insist I am talking about teenagers (around 12-18 years old), not young adults which is totally different. And this applies to girls as much as boys.

Hi Emilie,

I used to think exactly like you before I came here from Canada over ten years ago. What you need to understand is that there is a completely different reality here. I guess, as young people, in Canada we are really put into a cocoon and "protected" from the real world, from life. Also our country has a very conservative and strict set of moral standards that do not exist everywhere in the world.

Young people here in Brazil are extremely different from those in Canada since they have, for the most part lived difficult lives, have not been placed in a protective cocoon (by circumstance more than on purpose). Consequently, they mature at a younger age than we traditionally see at home. Their maturity is both physical and emotional. Here young adults (16 - 18 years) are much different than Canadian adolescents of the same age. In this age group here, they are, in most cases, quite capable of making adult decisions and fully understanding their consequences in later life. It is no coincidence that the 14 -18 year age group is one most involved in serious crime here. They are for all intents and purposes adults and have full immunity from their actions under the outdated laws. I find it quite amusing that most of the people that espouse the belief that adolescents are immature and thus do not know what they are doing are the very same people who go to the wall for their right to vote, drive a motor vehicle, consume alcohol, etc. As I see it if you don't know what you are doing none of those rights should be granted. If they are granted it is a clear statement that one really does know what they are doing at that age.

Culture also plays a significant role in all of this. I never fully appreciated just how conservative we really are in Canada until I came here. In many ways we are almost Puritanical in our way of thinking. We also have some vestiges of prejudice that we consider OK, age prejudice for one. In Canada we are shocked and offended when we see a younger woman with an older man or a younger man with an older woman. Here that prejudice does not exist, unfortunately they have others.

I am sure you must agree that everyone matures at their own pace, each case is different. I know many younger people who are extremely mature and wise beyond their years. I also know many older so-called adults who are quite immature too. Until you experience this country firsthand you cannot begin to understand the difference between young people in Canada and Brazil in terms of maturity.

Ok, don't get me wrong here... now I am going to talk about relationships where there is a great age difference, but later in life where both individuals are adults as in the case of CONFUSED when he first posted this thread.

Where both parties in a relationship are adults then what should we use as a yardstick to measure the relationship? In the end one can only depend on using the good, the benefits that both derive from that relationship. Love, happiness, security, respect, trust and character are not things that are mystically bestowed upon us with age. Those are the things that are the fundamental building blocks of any relationship and they can exist regardless of age differences.

Nobody condones underaged sexual activity and that is not what this thread started out to be. Sadly it seems to have veered off course somewhere. My wife is considerably younger than I am, she is also extremely mature. She was an adult when we met, so what difference should our ages make? None! We have a wonderful marriage, both of us have never been happier. We rarely have differences of opinion and certainly because of this we never have had an arguement. Our home is one filled with love, understanding and respect... and as such our child who will soon be five years old is an extremely happy, social and affectionate little boy. So I don't mind the occasional thoughtless remark "Oh, I see that your grandfather brought you to play in the park today". In terms of age acceptance here, that kind of statement is really the most serious thing that I have experienced.

Emilie, you really need to come here to Brazil to understand the true meaning of the old saying YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.

Again, the original post was from a 37 year old man who was thinking about marrying a woman 3 years younger than he. Two adults. He was concerned about her distant past which was in the first place none of his business, but she confided in him so as not to have anything hidden between them. She was 18 (legally an adult) when she started having sex with an older man. She knew what she was doing, understood the future consequences and made her own choice. I see absolutely nothing wrong with any of that. As she pointed out to the new boyfriend she learned a lot about life and gained a lot from the relationship. Using the benefits "yardstick", I would say that it was a successful relationship at the time.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog

I'm sorry William if I offended you in any ways, but my response was not directed to you.

I know Brazil very well, I have lived there several months already and I am with a Brazilian who is very open about his own culture and sharing it for over 6 years now.

I just wanted to point out some facts here, not personal values. Culture does not influence everything. Biological development is the same all around the world, and teenagers are just not as developed as adults. Self-control and jugement is not as developed. They dont understand and decode emotions like adults neither. Therefore, their level of conscious decision-making is not as developed as adults.

There is plenty of serious studies on that, if you want to know more, here is an easy way to start (but I actually learned that at university couple of years ago) : http://www.actforyouth.net/resources/rf … n_0502.pdf

And I surely dont believe they should have a legal right to drink either, but that is another debate ;)

Take care

Hi Emilie,

Don't worry, you have not offended me in any way. The whole idea of the Expat-blog forums is for the free exchange of information, ideas and opinions. Thanks for posting the hyperlink in your reply, I will be sure to look at it. One point that I would like to make is that while I certainly agree with you that biological growth is pretty much the same worldwide, that it is not the only factor that determines maturity of the individual.

Welcome to Expat-blog and to Brazil, I sincerely hope that you love the experience and the country as much as I come to love it over the past ten years.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog

[Moderated: Off topic]

What surprises me about some Americans is, on the one hand, many such Americans see themselves as bearers of freedom and democracy, however, at the same time, they bring American prejudices with them to other countries that are apparently freer than they are.

So, as long as those freedoms are American-style freedoms, it's OK. But if others want to be free in their own way, Americans become judgemental and bigoted, and as conservative as many Muslims.

Age should not matter in love. And 17 is an adult in Brazil.  And in Ohio, USA,  it's 16. So, you could not call the police on the man even in Ohio as he would not be breaking any laws.

If two people love each other and are both consenting adults, and are in a faraway country, are you going to impose your American Puritanism on them?  Would you also like it if people from other countries brought their judgementalism to the USA?

First this a 2012 topic! And the moderator removed... So this may not be on the forum long.
Second, if I recall Ohio is 17 to be married, but it takes judicial approval.

Third, How long have you lived in Brasil and what does this have to do with Expats in Brazil? I do not believe you will see an American or many other ex-pats for other countries impose something on a Brasilian!
As to Puritan's, not many left since Chris dropped them off the Mayflower at Plymouth Rock?

Good call, Tex!

Reviving an eight year old thread about a country on the other side of the world that hasn't been active in six years and was mostly a conversation between Canadians in order to post an anti-American screed is pretty  ... questionable.  :cool:

I wasn't going to respond so as not to feed the critter under the bridge, but endorse everything you said.

@confusedinusa

@confusedinusa

in the majority of states there is nothing illegal about a 37 year old man dating and having sex with a 17 year old girl

Hello all,

to confirm James information, here in Brazil there is no bias against younger women with older men.

second point, 17 years old is not a child. Interesting that you would not be "shocked" if a 17 old girl have sex with a 18 year old boy, am i right?  :-) 

I am 62, my wife is 46, nobody ever find anything to say about it... BUT, i must say, as my wife is black, very often, white brazilian people DO HAVE bias against white/black relationships.


anyway we are both very happy, and this for a very long time !! :-)


now confusedinusa, if you do live in brazil, yes, get ready to have possible dificulties with your daughter...


this said, i do not see any problem with 17 years old person, but i can see many older person with very young girls, especially in the poor areas, very often drug dealers etc, and THIS, is shocking... obviously, parents cannot do anything against a dangerous person...


and also, it has been proved in brazil and everywhere on the world, 95% of the child molesters are the family or the neighbours of the victim... not tourists... i should say i never saw much prohibited sex tourism here, even if i know it exists...

Hello everyone,


Please note this topic is old and some members (unfortunately are not with us anymore). I am closing this thread as there no real need for information here. We have already discussed about it throughout this thread.


Should you need any precise, info, feel free to create your own thread.


All the best,

Bhavna


[Topic Closed]

Closed