Location Matrix

You have put in a tall order as they say. I think you'll have to narrow it down to the MOST important things and give up on some others. Like, living near a jungle doesn't jibe well with having a market nearby that sells half and half or perhaps even having milk all the time!

However, that said, I am 20 minutes away from San Ramon where there is a mall and supermarkets, super stores, theaters, banks, etc. as you know if you've been there. They have pretty much everything one needs. It's crowded, yes but you learn to go on certain days and times and not others.

So it's kind of a compromise situation.

Half and half? Buy cream and buy milk (mercados in San Ramon sell both) and mix them for half and half.

Socializing with expats also doesn't jibe well with hiking in a jungle daily, except maybe if you live in Monteverde or some little town in the Southern gulf area (Osa Peninsula). It IS possible to get many of the things on your list but one thing tends to rule out the next... For example, the southern zone is mostly NOT near an airport and mostly does not have big towns with all the amenities. (Though some might, I'm not that familiar with it. ) It does rain a LOT there though!

EVERY town I have seen in Costa Rica that is above the size of a "small pueblo" (i.e. in other words they have almost no amenities), is crowded and congested and traffic and parking is a bit of a challenge. That's because all the people from nearby pueblos go there.

Now have I seen EVERY place in Costa Rica so I can definitely say there is no place like what you describe? No. So keep looking. Meanwhile consider that you may have to narrow down your list to those things you really MUST have.

Escazu and that area is very crowded and congested from what I've seen. And no jungle or forest.

I live 5 miles outside of San Ramon on a mostly paved road (one part requires 4x4). We have forest next to us, we have land big enough to take a hike on daily, down the hill and back up, where we often see monkeys and toucans and other friendly wildlife; we go into San Ramon 2-3 times a week for supplies;  and we could go into town for expat meetings but we don't - or haven't yet anyway. Lots of expats live around here and they're on the increase.

We live on a 2 acre lot (have others available) that has a fruit orchard and garden.
Many around here do not have bars on their windows though a few do. We've never been burgled or robbed and only two houses in our area have been - both a long time ago and both left their house empty a LOT -  but then we have a modest house and built well off the road behind a locked gate. Could we be robbed? Anyone could be at any time, anywhere. I will not live with bars. If we get robbed I'll get some new stuff. We don't have a lot of "nice stuff" that anyone would take, anyway.

We have a variety of weather: windy, cloudy, foggy, hot, cool, rainy... and some days in the 90's but it's not nearly as hot as Guanacaste. At night it cools down to where we use a blanket sometimes, and at least a sheet or two. And no fan in the bedroom.

We're within an hour of the San Jose airport. So from my accounting, San Ramon - or the area near it - could offer most of what you are looking for, but it's not perfect. Palmares is similar but the town is smaller.  Are there mountains / jungle near there, Mauron? Not sure...

One question you didn't make clear: do you want to live out in the country ("near a jungle") or in a town (not near a jungle)? As far as I know there are no big towns near a jungle. Montezuma on the beach on the Nicoya Peninsula could work BUT it's pretty far from an airport or any major town.

Keep narrowing it down and decide what compromises you are willing to make. San Ramon is not perfect even for us but we like living here and glad we came!