While visiting Hanoi in 2011 I met a gorgeous girl, she was smart, charming, affectionate and caring. Her family were also very kind and welcoming. Her family had many businesses and had significant economic means. After a year long courtship and multiple trips to Northern Vietnam I proposed. We were married a few months later. She moved to the US with me, and a year later she gave birth to a handsome boy. She was all along very kind and focused on the family, and I was as well. We had the typical couple disagreements about how to spend vacations or family money and so forth. We never had any loud arguments, and we never exchanged insults between each other.
And then about ten years into our relationship I started to noticed odd details in her behavior. This little things had been there all along but I had never worried about it, perhaps love was blinding me to certain details, or perhaps I could not ring myself to think she may not be as honest and loyal as I had always felt she was. I started paying more attention after some friendships had warned me about her possibly having a relationship outside of our marriage. As soon as I started paying attention everything unraveled very quickly and I found out she had been involved with several men over the years, men which I had met socially and were in our common circle of friends. I also found out she was currently involved with her best friends husband and she had been dating him for quite some time. Once I had enough proof I confronted her, initially she denied but once faced with all the facts I had in my possession she coldly admitted to everything. To my surprise she immediately tried to make me understand that she had always felt forced to be involved with other men due to my character which made her feel unwanted. She also insisted that I needed to get over it and accept that life turns out that way. She also promised she would never do that again. I did not file for divorce right away because I needed time to comprehend what had just happened, to manage my pain and figure out how to reorganize my life with my son. So I proceeded slowly and calmly. She went about daily life as usual. After a few months I presented her with a divorce petition and I left the household. At first she took my decision very hard and refused to accept the reality of what was happening. She fought me again and again to keep the family together, for this I oddly give her credit. However after I insisted for quite sometime she finally agreed. I will not recount what she did after the divorce or who she ended up with because it is irrelevant. The one positive note is that the separation and divorce were mostly peaceful so our little boy did not have to endure drama and he is as happy as always.
I have purposely kept the above story brief and factual so that it is easy to read. I want to spare the reader details of my pain and suffering, as well as hers, and the tragedy of a destroyed family. This is also not a judgement on any one person or nationality. It is simply my experience. And the truth be told we were very happy for the duration of our relationship. As she explained sometimes life turns out that way.
If anyone has any specific questions I will be happy to answer.
I personally never form an opinion based on only one side of a two people story. There's always two sides. That being said, for me there's no excuse for cheating. That would be the worst betrayal. I'd rather a woman tell me "we're done, I'm not happy anymore" before she starts cheating. I guess I'm too much of an idealistic!
