Need Guidance for Interfaith Marriage

Civil means non-religious.  Any religions can be married.

muslim marriage also exists, but they still need to have a civil marriage.  There is no divorce.

There is divorce available for Muslims if it was a Muslim wedding, but not in this case as a civil wedding is planned.

Dear Expats,
I'm Egyptian 27yo Muslim male ( living in KSA ), I have engaged to 26yo Filipina -Iloilo- Christian (Baptist) female. We have planned our marriage to be arranged on Sept 2023. Both of our families agreed upon marriage terms as each one of us stay on their religion/faith, and the children to come carry my religion ( Islam ). As you know Islam allows interfaith marriage to believer ( Jewish and Christian ) females.

I'm here asking your guidance as following:

I heard a lot of rumors from her relatives that Civil marriage wont allow interfaith marriages. is it true?
If I cannot have civil marriage, can Islamic marriage work in Iloilo - Philippines ? and where can it happen ?

Best Regards
Ahmed Morsy
-@Ahmed O. Morsy

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Dear Ahmed,

There are things in your post I don't understand, either culturally or misunderstood by me of the interpretation of your post.

(1) Arranged marriage? Or are You and your Filipina planning the marriage?

(2) Your families have terms for the marriage? Why?

(3) Your Filipina is a Baptist? That's rare a pearl in an oyster.

(4) In some religions the faith of the children are the faith of the mother.

(5) Is the choice of Islam for any children a condition set by you?

(6) You can have a civil marriage in the Philippines.

(7) The dominate religion in the Philippines is Catholic, second most is Moslem.

(8) What country do you plan on having the marriage and where will you reside?

(9) KSA is Saudi Arabia, are you and your Filipina both Expats in Saudi Arabia?

(10) Where will the marriage take place?  In Saudi Arabia, Egypt or the Philippines?

@Enzyte Bob

No 8 the answer to which is crucial. Are the Filipino parents aware that under Egyptian Law the father can keep custody of the children if they adopt the Islamic faith (which is your wish) should the relationship not work out?

Dear Expats,
I'm Egyptian 27yo Muslim male ( living in KSA ), I have engaged to 26yo Filipina -Iloilo- Christian (Baptist) female. We have planned our marriage to be arranged on Sept 2023. Both of our families agreed upon marriage terms as each one of us stay on their religion/faith, and the children to come carry my religion ( Islam ). As you know Islam allows interfaith marriage to believer ( Jewish and Christian ) females.

I'm here asking your guidance as following:

I heard a lot of rumors from her relatives that Civil marriage wont allow interfaith marriages. is it true?
If I cannot have civil marriage, can Islamic marriage work in Iloilo - Philippines ? and where can it happen ?

Best Regards
Ahmed Morsy
-@Ahmed O. Morsy
*******************************************************
Dear Ahmed,

There are things in your post I don't understand, either culturally or misunderstood by me of the interpretation of your post.

(1) Arranged marriage? Or are You and your Filipina planning the marriage?
(2) Your families have terms for the marriage? Why?
(3) Your Filipina is a Baptist? That's rare a pearl in an oyster.
(4) In some religions the faith of the children are the faith of the mother.
(5) Is the choice of Islam for any children a condition set by you?
(6) You can have a civil marriage in the Philippines.
(7) The dominate religion in the Philippines is Catholic, second most is Moslem.
(8) What country do you plan on having the marriage and where will you reside?
(9) KSA is Saudi Arabia, are you and your Filipina both Expats in Saudi Arabia?
(10) Where will the marriage take place? In Saudi Arabia, Egypt or the Philippines?
-@Enzyte Bob

1- Yes both of us planning for the marriage

2- Both of our culture requires our family approval and blessings in order for us to get married, We believe in respect and consultation of our marriage since they are senior and experienced. We already pass this point.

3- Yeah I have mentioned it, I respect all religions / faiths.

4- We both agreed upon future children to be Muslims.

5- Even though I strongly want my children to be Muslims, my fiancé's family culture defines the children religion as their father's .

6- Thank you so much for clarifying it .

7- In Egypt we have both church and mosque opposing each other in the same street. We both respect each other. We deal with people for their actions not believes.

8- Saudi Arabia as per my work for now.

9- She is in Philippines, after marriage it will be first time for her in KSA. I was born and raised in KSA. I know everything here more than Egypt.

10- Philippines since she is the only daughter for her family. I want them to enjoy it for their only daughter.

@Lotus Eater

Both of us have agreed upon future vision/goal of our relationship, both of us work to achieve it. just a small happy family without problems, and support each other on joy and sorrow. cant deny divorce is always a possibility in any relationship. But after 4 years of engagement, we wouldn't reach this point looking forward married if we don't understand each other.

This is not my business I know but it seems your marriage will be weighted very much towards the Muslim side and your wife will be alone in her faith. A very lonely situation. There are some tough questions ahead if you continue to focus on a Muslim-centered marriage; for one small example, will the children be taught that their mother is an infidel? In case of divorce, doesn't Sharia law award the children to the husband and does she know that?  Have you been upfront with her about all of the western rights she will lose under this arrangement? Why not put religion aside and be fair to her and have a non-religious civil marriage. Then, worship as you will but let the children decide for themselves which religion to follow later on and familiarize them with both religions in their younger years?

@danfinn

Agreed. Notice how the OP sidestepped my question

Is the wife prepared to be a second class person (woman) in KSA?

The OP made it clear that he wants his religion to be primary. I don't see or understand why the girl would agree. Perhaps she hasn't done her homework adequately.

She will definitely be 2nd class in Saudi. But perhaps the money or stability is more important to her. Sad story any way you look at it.

@Skip Scott To be honest, I find this thread to be very troubling...I will leave it at that.

Assalamalaikum I am following this. I am Christian and my fiance is foreign muslim. We want to have a simple marriage without rituals. What are the requirements I need? I can't get clarity, I have searched everywhere. Please I need guidance thank you

Assalamalaikum I am following this. I am Christian and my fiance is foreign muslim. We want to have a simple marriage without rituals. What are the requirements I need? I can't get clarity, I have searched everywhere. Please I need guidance thank you
-@ismaine163

You have a civil wedding, all you need is to buy a license, wait 10 days, and have a civil ceremony,  no God anywhere.  Assuming this takes place in the Philippines. Is she already in the Philippines?

WaAlaikum Assalam,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, I ask Allah to bless it for you.

My advice is that you try your utmost with your future wife that she accepts Islam also . I think she will , you find many , many Filipinos accepting Islam , almost in droves. 

Try to be a good Islamic example to her , by showing her good morals and righteous character and of course make dua that Allah will guide her heart.

You will be able to get both marriage  certificates, one from the Sharia court and the other PSA marriage certificate regardless of different religions.

وفقكم الله لما يحبه ويرضاه

مقدم : بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما وجمع بينكما في خيرٍ

WaAlaikum Assalamr you.

My advice is that you try your utmost with your future wife that she accepts Islam also . I think she will , you find many , many Filipinos accepting Islam 
-@omarwebber111

The writer said he is a Christian, fiancee a foreign Muslim, you need to talk to the foreign Muslim to attempt to convert the poster.

@mugteck

What is that?

Muslim bashing?

why talk to the Muslim woman first?

Have you no respect for woman?

Probably not otherwise you had one.

But getting one is the problem of your lifetime, right?

Are you some kind of religious racist? Next to other smelling bad things things, like i find sometimes under my shoes?

looking at your posts in general that could be good possible.

@mugteck
What is that?
Muslim bashing?
why talk to the Muslim woman first?
Have you no respect for woman?
Probably not otherwise you had one.
But getting one is the problem of your lifetime, right?
Are you some kind of religious racist? Next to other smelling bad things things, like i find sometimes under my shoes?
looking at your posts in general that could be good possible.
-@Ivo sonnenberg

         No,  the Muslim of the two would be converting the Christian to become a Muslim, belng a woman is just how this pair works.  There is no disrespect for neither Muslims nor women.  I believe people should worship a God of their understanding.  Been married to a Filipina for 28 years.  You just like to argue.  I will not be answering your posts nor reacting to them in any way.  You are not worth wasting anyone's time.

Welcome back arty5987, I thought they booted you with your constant fowl language and arrogant submissions, perhaps tone it down a lot?

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

My wife is catholic and I'm a godless heathen atheist. Never a problem.

Same Moon Dog but he never goes to church in 13 years,,,, I lie, we did attend an open air Christmas church service with Bens parents about 8/9 years ago, it was thrilling for me, all 3 hours of it.

Cheers, Steve.

@mugteck That woman who married you must have been desperate.

She is excused.

No you was disrespecting woman and muslims. Everyboddy can read it, you wrote it!!

i was looking over your posts, they are all not nice. Do you speak tagalog? or cebuano? Probably noone. thats why you come here, you feel lonely without talking to countryman and foreigners. You are a failure of intergration in the Philippines. Not only of that but a failure in general. And you know it. Auch that must hurt knowing to be a failure. But you know what, i feel sorry for you. Thats good, dont react on my posts nomore, i like that. If you do i will react on yours, all the time. Aint that cozy? And just between us, leave woman and muslims out of it ok? Your rightwing extremist thoughts and woman unfriendlyness nobody needs.

Perhaps we also need a dislike button, Ivo would be the winner.

Cheers, Steve.

Perhaps have another go and this time type in English, and not dyslexic.

Cheers, Steve.

On my first visit to the Philippines I was taken to some sort of church annex and she lit a candle. Not sure the meaning of that but at least she wasn't rolling chicken bones like Queequeg in Moby Dick.

A couple years later in Houston, TX my wife's Filipina friend talked us into attending her church. I had no problem going with her, it's good to keep an eye on the opposition. This was a faith healing Filipino church and at the end of the sermon the preacher asked if anyone needed a healing. We sat on metal folding chairs and it was our backsides that needed a healing after an hour or two so most people kept it short. Just a simple headache or sort throat healing.

Then one day an elderly American dude was there to have his stiff joints healed. I don't know the cause of the stiff joints but the guy could hardly move. They attempted to heal him where he sat but that wasn't working so with some effort they laid him out in front of the altar and redoubled their efforts. You could tell he was in a lot of pain. It was taking some time and the preacher even mentioned that healing worked just as well long distance. He must have moved his arm and the preacher shouted "Praise Jesus" and he healing was over, the stiff joint demons were exorcised.

My wife couldn't believe what she just saw, on our way home she said "they don't do like that in the Philippines" and she never again asked to attend church.

Christianity & Islam are the largest organized faiths in the world. They achieve that status by conquering and also proselytizing.

My born religion, one of the oldest does not proselytize and remains very small. You are either born into it, convert through marriage or take instruction because of your free will to be a follower.

Unfortunately Muslims in this time in time and age gets a bad rap because of instant worldwide reporting of conflicts. As in Christianity, Muslims have several branches of faith and the worst behaviors of these faiths label the entire religion.

At one time Christians believed it's my way or the highway, convert or die.

Some Christian faiths believe you cannot enter heaven without being born again. Some Muslims believe through martyrdom is the best way to reach heaven.

On the most part people born into their faith remain in that faith, sometimes in a water down version of that faith.

In a slice of time either in the past or future the outcome would be very different than it is today.

In my old age my faith weakens beyond belief of organized religion. Many questions cannot be answered or never will be answered.

When my demise happens, either I'll have eternal life somewhere or no life, only my death holds the answer or never to be answered.

Lately I'm thinking where is the creator, I think God is Time or Time is God. So, why does Time exist? It doesn't make any sense, because Time is understandable, that it only exists.

Bob Dylan  "If God's on our side, then He'll stop the next war."

That's very profound Bob and taken on board as I believe similar with no disrespect to believers of any faith, that's their lot, I am tarnished from an early primary school existence in a private catholic school with the hypocrisy of many religions, supposed to be about the people/followers but that's not the case, the almighty dollar/peso to ones belief is evident.

My mate in grade 4 from a poor family was sent home because his jumper had a small hole in it, part of the school uniform and I can't imagine his parents aghast thoughts, he did return a few days later with a new secondhand jumper. Point is?

Doesn't Christianity breed sharing and giving? No it's all one sided and the stupid nuns and priest kicked him out until he had a decent pullover, how stupid and so much for sharing the wealth of any beliefs with those that need it.

It's all about me, take that literally, government, churches etc.

Cheers, Steve.

My advice to all is to continue to be respectful and post with knowledgable content. As a christian, I offer no judgement or exact path for others.......

However, I do feel some some key questions may need to be addressed by any couple in this situation: 

• Who are "People of the Book"?
• Do both parties understand Interdenominational vs interfaith marriage acceptance in their organization?
• If the christian's church use 2 Corinthians 6:14–15 (i.e., "not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.....") as their justification to not allow/bless a marriage, have both understood this position?
• Do both understand that a Muslim woman, cannot marry a non-Muslim man unless he converts, under Islamic law (Sharīʿa) law?
• Have either confirmed that Interfaith marriages are permitted by Egyptian law except in the case of a Muslim woman and a non-Muslim man?
• It has been agreed that "the Koran is clear that Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslim women as long as their brides are “People of the Book”"
• Has the couple addressed the civil marriage document, as it relates to entry into Egypt, marriage approval or registration of future children as Egyptians?
• Do both understand the differences between Sunni and Shi'a Muslims, with Egypt being 90+% Sunni?

Since both Christians and Jews, recognize Abraham as their spiritual forefather, it is acceptable for Muslim man to marry "People of the Book". 

In summary, my view is that no civil contract or tacit family acceptance will remove or overcome the obstacles these couples will face, based on their post-marriage country of residence. Best wishes for all.

Very concise as always Calif but I wonder the 21st century thinking. As well as the twisted doctrines that change to suit the current thinking to keep the sheep in the pen. Hypocrisy at all levels.

Religion is no different to politics, keep the sheep in the pen and the gullible abide.

Interfaith marriages are up to the individual and if any religion causes effect on either or then that is not a religion but a dictatorship, go with your heart and become a Buddhist or an atheist if you found your true love. No matter the faith they won't help you but always have their hand out, Remember the Catholic church is the wealthiest institution on earth and don't believe the rubbish you read on google. The catholic church is worth many trillions of US dollars, hate to think the real figure.

To the OP . both drop your religion and simply love you better half and move on.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

@bigpearl,

My personal views guide my steps in life, as do most. I firmly believe that since I do not hold any degrees in theology, whom am I to tell others what to do?  As long as I act under my beliefs and those are to always treat other humans as I wish to be treated, any religious beliefs I may have will form part of the basis for how I treat others.

Regarding hypocrisy and religion - I agree with you! We do not need to go back far in history to find people that claim to be God fearing, but act like animals to others that are different. Prime example is found with the America's history of slavery and how Bible quotes were used to justify slavery.  All the while ignoring the Bible passage that says, "you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence."

I am sure followers of different doctrines/holy books will find "justification" for acts that can destroy this couple's chance of a meaningful life with each other. We just don't have any idea how far a person can be positively touched when they reach out for help in these forums, just be giving positive and meaning attention to their mountain being climbed.

My wife is catholic and I'm a godless heathen atheist. Never a problem.
-@Moon Dog

Yup even Cherry Blossoms allowed you through their Pearly Gates

My wife is catholic and I'm a godless heathen atheist. Never a problem.
-@Moon Dog

Yup even Cherry Blossoms allowed you through their Pearly Gates
-@Lotus Eater

In my profile I was a Mormon Elder. That made me a chick magnet in the Philippines.

Moon Dog, that made you a liar if my ethics are right.

Cheers, Steve.

That was a joke only, my religion was "none". I never made a secret of my lack of belief in the supernatural so that prompted my mother in law and father in law to ask if I believed in Jesus. I told them there may have been an itinerant rabbi faith healer named Jesus but the one I didn't believe was the magical son of god Jesus. I asked them why they believed and my father in law said he saw a picture. I tried to explain there were no photos or paintings of Jesus but he is set in his ways. I might add that neither know anything at all about the religion they believe in.

Moon Dog said . . . I tried to explain there were no photos or paintings of Jesus

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How can that be? Recently a Lima Bean was discovered that look like Jesus, it's kept in a bombshell proof shelter 100 meters below the Papal in the Vatican.

Moon Dog said . . . I tried to explain there were no photos or paintings of Jesus
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How can that be? Recently a Lima Bean was discovered that look like Jesus, it's kept in a bombshell proof shelter 100 meters below the Papal in the Vatican.
-@Enzyte Bob

His mom showed up on a 10-year old grilled cheese sandwich that sold for $28,000 on eBay in 2004. The sandwich even had a bite out of it!