Globetrotter in Surrey: "People are very friendly and helpful, even to complete strangers"

Where do you come from and what are you doing nowadays?

I am a Belgian (Flemish) wife and mother, pushing forty. Before becoming a serial expat, I studied languages (English and Spanish) and then worked in an international HR firm for five years. Nowadays, I look after our son and the household.

Why did you choose to move to England?

My husband always had this dream to become an expat. We've been together for over 20 years now and we've always had a passion for travel, adventure and other cultures. So when the opportunity presented itself, neither of us hesitated to just pack up and leave. England is just one destination in a whole string since we started this nomadic life in 2005. We go where my husband's employer sends us.

What were the procedures to follow to move there?

With every new destination a job is waiting for my husband and his company takes care of most of the procedures. What we have to do is get registered at our local embassy, find a place at a school in a suitable neighborhood and look for a place to live nearby. Mainly (internet) research basically.

How long have you been in the country?

We've been here since October 2012. We lived in West London first and moved to Surrey (Woking-Guildford area) in June 2014. My husband and I have a 5-year-old son.

What has attracted you to Surrey?

One thing: a place in a private school. I couldn't find any in West London. We ended up on every waiting list imaginable (you pay to get on the list and it is non-refundable!). Finally, I had to widen the search and we got lucky in May when I managed to secure a place two days before the school's open morning.

How about finding a job?

I don't work, except for some volunteering. Since we move regularly, it is difficult for me to find a job. Honestly, my husband earns enough to get by. That was a condition we had set ourselves before leaving everything behind.

Was it difficult to find accommodation there? What are the types of accommodation which are available there?

Housing in London is very expensive. Prices are high and houses small by comparison. They are also quite old with often only single glazing and damp problems. Fortunately, we have a housing budget provided by the company. Still, it took me a week and visiting 30 houses before I found something remotely acceptable.
Surrey is still quite expensive, especially as there is a train line into London close by. You do get more for your money: the houses are bigger and they come with a proper garden and off road parking or garage (a luxury in London!).

How do you find the British lifestyle?

We like it here very much! Compared to previous destinations, we really noticed that people are very friendly and helpful, even to complete strangers like us.

Have you been able to adapt yourself to the country and to its society?

It's been quite easy. The UK is very similar to Belgium and we all speak the language. The only two things we are struggling with are the darkness in winter (dusk at 4pm, which is an hour earlier than in Belgium) and the way everything revolves around money here. I know money makes the world go around but this borders on obsession.

What about your child in terms of educational, social and cultural adaptation?

We are lucky our son is very outgoing. He is, of course, still very young. Colleagues have warned us their children struggled from the age of 12. The plan is to settle down for good by that time. Our son is our first priority. He didn't choose this life. The moment he indicates he has had enough, we'll give it up.

What does your every day life look like in Surrey?

I do the school run every morning and afternoon. I do volunteer work and once or twice a week, I blog in my free time, I read and (window) shop (too much).

What has surprised you the most at your arrival?

As I mentioned before: the absolute kindness of people towards newcomers, even in a large city like London. Maybe because it is such a melting pot of nationalities and everyone feels a tad lonely, displaced and maybe even homesick, they can relate easier.

Any particular experience you would like to share with us?

West London is crawling with celebrities. We saw Vanessa Redgrave, Ben Fogle, Claire Balding, Michael Rooker, Keira Knightley, John Hannah, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and David Tennant (those last two very often, they must have lived really nearby).

What is your opinion on the cost of living in Surrey? Is it easy for an expat to live in the country?

Life is quite expensive: housing, groceries, water and electricity, tax, (car) insurance, sport club memberships, etc. If we were to pay everything ourselves, it would be tough. The NHS is free of charge but very bad. We have private health insurance but at A&E we still had to wait 5 hours when our son had a deep cut in his forehead. The end result? It was too late to do anything about it (according to the doctors) and our son now has a nasty scar...

How do you spend your leisure time there?

In the week-end, we often go to the London or Whipsnade Zoo (we have an annual pass), go out for breakfast (to replace going out for dinner since we never have a baby-sitter), go swimming, go to numerous birthday parties (for classmates). In summer, we go to Bocketts Farm or Hobbledown (two children's farms in the area).

What are the differences between life in England and in your home country?

At the moment, not that many, but when we lived in London we had easy access to museums, day time cinema (small towns only have evening showings), parks, historic buildings and a million and one fun and interesting activities. In Surrey, life has taken a quieter pace like I was used to in Belgium.

Do you miss your home country?

Not really. I miss the people in it, but thanks to Skype and regular trips home and visits from family and friends to the UK, that is remedied easily.

How are you planning to celebrate Christmas and New Year? How will it differ from previous years?

The (real) tree is up since the 6th of December. Amazon has delivered all the presents. I still need to pack them. We'll spend Christmas with my mother-in-law who is visiting. And we are all invited at a colleague's home. It will be a full house: they have two children and his parents are visiting from France (7 adults and 3 children). We'll go home to Belgium for New Year's where we invited our parents at our house there.
This year my husband is home both days. That's a real treat! I can't remember the last time he didn't have to work on Christmas or New Year's Day.

Would like to give any advice to soon-to-be expats?

Adapt and go out. By adapt I mean remember you are the stranger here. People respond well if you try your best to join in. Learn the language or even a few standard sentences like "Thank you", "Good day", "Goodbye". Use the internet to understand the culture. And go out! It is so tempting to lock yourself in the house, especially as an expat housewife.
Allow two months to get settled (unpacking, arranging mobile phone and television contracts, getting to know the area, finding a good grocery shop, doctor, hairdresser) but then it is time. In my experience what works best is joining a sports club or finding any sort of hobby and volunteering work. Also, check the networks on Expat Blog and surf the meet-up website.
Smile (people tend to start conversation with you) and don't give up too quickly. Try not to contact the people in your home country too much the first few months. I know it sounds strange but it stimulates you to move on. If you cling to home too much you won't make any progress. Trust me.
If all else fails: get a dog (or a baby). They are people magnets.

What are your plans for the future?

Settling down in France where the mother company is located. And once my husband is retired, spend 6 months in Belgium and 6 months in some warm country (preferably Portugal).