Has anyone felt like they are being "Used"

@Dane Juju Just as long as you remember that no good deed that you do in this country goes unpunished and accept that.

@Rex71 Agree. THAT is very true when helping family!

Omo :

Yes indeed...

"Life here is hard, this can drive people to do things they wish not to do"

@Dane Juju

So my remedy would be...

Keep all your expectations/trustworthiness in check.

Then carry on living your happy frugal lifestyle without having any need to flaunt your wealth.

.

Of course wealthy Filipinos love to 'flaunt' their wealth. They embrace the 'bling' culture in spades. Conspicuous consumption is alive and well in the Philippines.

And some middle class too, some spending much more than they can afford to show off they "can" spend more than they can afford   

E g one family I were a bit close to marry into - the family-in-law to a sister did spend 500 000 at that wedding!!!

My sisters did spend around 1500 each... 

((Myself I have allways acted opposite to such people  - but not as much opposite as Ingvar Kamprad, IKEA     - I prefer to dress depending of weather as an old time Canadian lumberjack or a poor Asian farmer except at special occations or if needed for work, but then I dress up in expensive LOOKING clothes, which I have bought at bankruptcy sales or Red cross    (E g I bought a "western" bankmanager type suit for what others pay for a shirt.) 

And I prefer good functioning but so ugly looking cars so few want to even steal them   

And I prefer good functioning but so ugly looking cars so few want to even steal them

In other words all Swedish Volvos post the P1800

And I prefer good functioning but so ugly looking cars so few want to even steal them

In other words all Swedish Volvos post the P1800
-@Lotus Eater

Well. Volvo is much to popular in Sweden, I have never liked except them when Volvo bought DAF.

But I didnt ment models, I ment having dents, scratches and ugly pale paint 

E g one I bought had been driven in desert in Afrika so no rust, been in colisions with several small animals or something, had many dents.

An other I bought just because it was so funny ugly. it was an ex East German embassy car almost as a pansar wagon model look 20 - 30 years behind as it was common among East European cars back then.

Volvo was voted car of the year by "The international tow truck operators association".

Coach is it true you won the second prize of 10 Krona in a Paul Bunyan look-a-like contest?

Coach is it true you won the second prize of 10 Krona in a Paul Bunyan look-a-like contest?
-@Enzyte Bob

No, as all other you say about me its false 

but I am look alike a Swedish national football player when I have sun in my eyes. Or more correct he is look alike me    because I am older.

coach53 says. . . .but I am look alike a Swedish national football player when I have sun in my eyes.

*****************************************************

Coach please Google: How to look at the sun safely.

Hello everyone,

We are drifting off-topic here which is quite normal since Dane has not given any feedback.

If he doesn't interact, i will be closing this thread soon.

Regards,

Bhavna

Hello everyone,
We are drifting off-topic here which is quite normal since Dane has not given any feedback.

If he doesn't interact, i will be closing this thread soon.

Regards,
Bhavna
-@Bhavna

I think Dane's intention when creating this topic was for people to add to it when and if things of the nature he explained occur. A sort of list with all the common scams and tricks on for people to refer to.

Has anyone felt like they are being "Used"

My impression on this question is that expats are getting used.

But really: Who's using who?

On a personal loan, one should have a default answer: I don't have the money to loan you.

If you give in and loaned money on a verbal contract, it is your fault. I wouldn't call it being used. I would call it 'negotiation' and you're not good at it.

Dane could use a "coach" 🤣 to advise him how to give a loan to locals and possibly protect his money.

Has anyone felt like they are being "Used"
My impression on this question is that expats are getting used.
But really: Who's using who?

Exactly. Its very common foreigners use Filipinas too, fooling them to believe the foreigner aim at a serious relation when isnt...

On a personal loan, one should have a default answer: I don't have the money to loan you.

If you give in and loaned money on a verbal contract, it is your fault. I wouldn't call it being used. I would call it 'negotiation' and you're not good at it.

Dane could use a "coach" 🤣 to advise him how to give a loan to locals and possibly protect his money.

-@Jackson4

Well 

/Several have suggested very profitable lending ="loan shark"  business to me, but NO WAY I would be involved in such taking advantage of poor people making them even more poor. 480 % interest per year!!! (On top of that its unclear if its illegal, some say max allowed is 2 % per month while others say there are no such law (anymore).

/I "transformed" one such   to instead finance/lend to people who will EARN by that money.  (which made her business geting much BETTER resuilt by no credit losses by the borrowers earned too.)

/"Micro-lending" is successful too in other countries as e g Bangladesh. Thats a COMBINATION of business education in local groups and lend out start capital.

/In the Philippines "Harvest sharing" is rather common.  =One have land and do the work and an other finance so the farmer get access to whats needed to get better harvests.  Then financiere get money back plus a minor share of the rest.  (E g 25 - 33 % when its rice.)

/( I have an own made model    I am rather good protected. Its more as common in Sweden making concensus solutions. (We did spend rather much time before we reached an agreement about the basics, although most time depended of my business partner thought it was a scam inspite of the contract say he can never lose  by I can only get money back from profits or if we sell the business.  Tribe people is used to get scamed so he was very suspicious by he long time found the offer I gave him "to good to be true"    Its good for me too, I offerred him more than I had to, because I were very eager to reach agreement with him, because he is the only Filipino not allready in the only two competition businesses I have found in Phils which know how to handle such businesses and in Phils there is a law businesses are NOT allowed to be dominated by forreign knowledge!!!  so I needed him to make it possible to start. 

/There are Joint Ventures but that demand part which many foreigners dont have and is inconvinient to get if living permanent in Phils.

/There is a common "bullet proof" protection solution, whicb cost more, with SEC company, EXCEPT foreigners CANT have the power so Filipinos can be voted down foreigners and screw up  haha

_ _

Other financing things I DONT want to be involved in are:

/landlord for people with risk they cant pay by I dont want to kick out poor people.

/lend out for decent interests neither to poor people giving collatreral as e g land they live at, because I dont want to take the last they have if they cant pay...

The provincial life of many a local I have come across is but a sad story...not sure if it's only because of a lack of education or because of this 'save face' mentality they have.

a) Like Coach mentions many here don't even know how to calculate overall (%) interest rate they end up paying & are only worried about the initial deposit to be made as many here are not disciplined enough to postpone gratification.....e.g If you can't afford to buy a pig for a family gathering then for heaven's sake don't go into debt just to finance it just to show off to yr family/neighbours that you have arrived/better off than the rest mentality. (Here a mid sized lechon pig costs 9000p not at all cheap for the locals & it disappears by the end of the day)...thereafter only to suffer the consequences of the steep monthly installment payments.

b) Instead of buying a new motorbike why not look at used motorbikes & learn from YT videos how to best maintain/fix things yourself.

c). What's wrong with walking 2-3km to a grocery shop instead of wasting 50p for a tricycle round trip?

d). Savings....hardly anyone I know here has a savings plan/or a bank account for that matter.

e). How long can you really be happy go lucky before reality sets in?

Agreed, MW.. They live for the moment. Absolutely no thought to the future.

c). What's wrong with walking 2-3km to a grocery shop instead of wasting 50p for a tricycle round trip?
-@manwonder

2-3 km!  Many Filipinos cant even think of doing walking that long

The poorest Filipinos I know, when they have money they take tricycle instead of walking 400 meters...

One 30yo Filipina said she would die if she would try to walk longer than 500 meters. When I told her my 88yo mother walk 1-2 km per day just for exersise, she got shock

An other Filipina I know earn an extra workers level salary per month just by buy beer and cigarettes in the closest supermarket some hundred meters away for normal prices, she and her 7yo son carry it home at Saturdays for the whole week and her old mother sell it to lazy neighbours (without even having a shop, but neighbours know they have such for sale.)

c). What's wrong with walking 2-3km to a grocery shop instead of wasting 50p for a tricycle round trip?

-@manwonder

When my husband and I still lived in San Francisco, CA, we walked all the time. And we liked it. The weather was favorable to walking. But here in the Philippines, no, because it is so darn hot and humid and you never know when it's going to rain suddenly.

I'm sharing two experiences on walking out in the Philippines' hot weather.

One time when my husband and I were still living with my parents, my husband decided to just walk to Robinson's supermarket, which was 2-3 km away, to buy some groceries. There were a few clouds but still hot and humid outside. He said he'll just rehydrate to beat the heat. When he came back, he was all sweaty (and stinky). He said his hands hurt and felt a slight pain on his shoulders from carrying bags. And he had to urinate in public. A few minutes after he got home, it suddenly rained heavily for maybe around 3-5 minutes even though it was bright outside. If he had still been outside, he (and perhaps the groceries) would have been soaking wet. So next time he walked from our house to Robinson's to buy groceries, he would take a tricycle on his way back.

A few years ago, I attended a PTA meeting and decided to go back to my office after the meeting. Beforehand, my husband agreed to pick me up and drive me to my work. After the meeting, I called my husband but he wasn't answering because he fell asleep. The drivers at work were still at jobsites. It was just 2 km to my work. But it was hot and humid outside. I had no data for calling Grab. So I said to myself that I'll just walk since it's not that far to my work and I can just rehydrate. And besides, I used walk even farther distances in San Francisco.

As I was walking, the heat started to get to me. There was an SM mall 500 meters away where I could get some respite from the heat. But to get there, I had to cross a dangerous street. No crosswalks (which drivers, especially bus drivers, often ignore anyways) nor footbridge. Then I felt the urge to do a #1. I had to hold it. I didn't have an umbrella. Fortunately, it didn't rain.

When I finally got to my work, I went straight to the CR, I was sweaty and exhausted from the heat. After I entered my cold airconditioned office, I felt so dizzy (probably from the sudden change in temperature). I had to change my top and wore one of our reserve uniform. In the end I ended up with: a slight fever in the evening, a heat rash at the base of my neck, a rash under my breasts, a mild sunburn on my face and arms, a mild UTI.

---

P.S. Sunscreen, though some are almost the same price as in the US, is relatively expensive in the Philippines: PhP400-650 for a small bottle or tube.

I agree about the climate.. I grew up just south of San Francisco where the climate is perfect, as you say, even cold in summer. However it is possible to acclimate somewhat to the heat and humidity in the Philippines and even workout in it.

I regularly ride my road bike for 1 to 1-1/2 hours. Due to the terrain on Cebu and Negros, it means you generally climb up 4-600 meters over 6-12 km, then you turnaround and come back down. One of my favorites is the climb to Tops lookout in Cebu, the last 1-2 km are a wall, and the sweat pours off.

My point is that it's completely possible to acclimate ourselves to exertion in extreme heat, as some (the poor) are forced to do, but you have to do it regularly. If you are always in AC and no longer acclimated to it, you will experience those symptoms of serious discomfort or even heat exhaustion when you do try it.

Omo...I totally agree with you that the local weather has been extremely hot lately & may not be as suitable for everyone....However In my book... if I was only able to earn 5k-6k pesos a month (like many of the local provincial folk here get paid) the whole dynamics of that same situation would change.

i personally would scrimp and save every peso that I could (maybe that's just me/the way I was brought up). I would rather save that 50p or at least 25p) till it becames 1000p (saved over 20 round trips) & then use those savings to buy an used bicycle for family use whom may not have yet acclimatised themselves to the local weather as well as their parents had.

One time when my husband and I were still living with my parents, my husband decided to just walk to Robinson's supermarket, which was 2-3 km away, to buy some groceries. There were a few clouds but still hot and humid outside. He said he'll just rehydrate to beat the heat. When he came back, he was all sweaty (and stinky). He said his hands hurt and felt a slight pain on his shoulders from carrying bags. And he had to urinate in public. A few minutes after he got home, it suddenly rained heavily for maybe around 3-5 minutes even though it was bright outside. If he had still been outside, he (and perhaps the groceries) would have been soaking wet. So next time he walked from our house to Robinson's to buy groceries, he would take a tricycle on his way back.

Well.  Humid heat is much worse than even much more C hot dry heat, which can make it harder to walk

but why not bring rain cover???   

((I bring ALLWAYS undepending of risk level for rain, except when exersising, because if exersising I go on undependinf of weather. Except once we stoped exersising tennis, but that depended of my opponent got hit at eye when it came small ice balls from the sky. And I have played football match when it was rather much snow, which made it easier to make slide tackles   

Btw umbrellas can be used to reduce heat too      by giving shade.    ((I never do but sometimes I put on a hat to protect a bit.))

And why are Filipinos so affraid of geting wet by rain??   A Filipina even tried to get protection from rain under her mobile phone

Swedes even GO OUT and exersise sports when it rain.  And except when risk for get hit by lightning, almost no competitions are put on hold/postponed by rain. When its very hot weather, I can even find it nice to get a "shower" by rain   

((In whole my sports carriere postponed/break have only happened to me twice. Once when a football field got flooded so the ball couldnt be moved anything similar to football, and once in a high jump championships it was a short break a while when it rained so hard hiting the eyes so we couldnt see the bar to jump over     but when it rained a bit less so we could see, then the competition just went on both before and after.  Btw concerning weather I have played tennis match both in only 10 C so hard to play by fingers got frozen, and 35 C so hot so asfalt road made smoke and got sticky.  I prefered the HOT   

Btw my 88yo mother walked 5 km yesterday in around 30 C to get apointed covid shot because new company had got the bus route permits, and didnt inform so she didnt find which bus go there so she walked.  When I phoned her she said she was a bit tired, but when she got home she had went to make her weekly laundry anyway! "because I do that on Mondays"   

After I entered my cold airconditioned office, I felt so dizzy (probably from the sudden change in temperature). I had to change my top and wore one of our reserve uniform. In the end I ended up with: a slight fever in the evening, a heat rash at the base of my neck, a rash under my breasts, a mild sunburn on my face and arms, a mild UTI.

Actualy according to a study, I dont remember if it was Swedish or from some other "western" country,  Aircons MAKE more people get flue and such.

P.S. Sunscreen, though some are almost the same price as in the US, is relatively expensive in the Philippines: PhP400-650 for a small bottle or tube.-@FilAmericanMom

How about coconut oil price in Phils? Such can be used as rather good sunscreen and skin moisture at same time.

@coach53

"Btw my 88yo mother walked 5 km yesterday in around 30 C to get apointed covid shot because new company had got the bus route permits, and didnt inform so she didnt find which bus go there so she walked.  When I phoned her she said she was a bit tired, but when she got home she had went to make her weekly laundry anyway! "because I do that on Mondays" 

Hat's off to your mum! My Mum and Dad are 80 and 83 respectively, and still go camping (in caravan) and bird watching, which requires some walking. That's the secret I think, having an interest and a little walking.

However it is possible to acclimate somewhat to the heat and humidity in the Philippines and even workout in it.
I regularly ride my road bike for 1 to 1-1/2 hours. Due to the terrain on Cebu and Negros, it means you generally climb up 4-600 meters over 6-12 km, then you turnaround and come back down. One of my favorites is the climb to Tops lookout in Cebu, the last 1-2 km are a wall, and the sweat pours off.

My point is that it's completely possible to acclimate ourselves to exertion in extreme heat, as some (the poor) are forced to do, but you have to do it regularly. If you are always in AC and no longer acclimated to it, you will experience those symptoms of serious discomfort or even heat exhaustion when you do try it.
-@pnwcyclist

Yes. I dont know how much its possible for people in general, but it can be done much.

((Just to acclimate myself to the Swedish big changes in weather depending of summer or snowy winters,  back when I compeeted serious

I did shut OFF the central heating during cold winters and sat "topless" in appartment  (although some heating came from other appartments around so it didnt became so cöld so water froze)

and when it was so hot so my teammates just layed in shade somewhere, I put ON a very hot winter type sports overall and runed back and forth at the football field excersising in high speed by myself in 2 - 4 hours with a lunch break in the middle So when it was match in hot weather I played without that hot overall and found the heat perfect 

Omo...I totally agree with you that the local weather has been extremely hot lately & may not be as suitable for everyone....However In my book... if I was only able to earn 5k-6k pesos a month (like many of the local provincial folk here get paid) the whole dynamics of that same situation would change.
i personally would scrimp and save every peso that I could (maybe that's just me/the way I was brought up). I would rather save that 50p or at least 25p) till it becames 1000p (saved over 20 round trips) & then use those savings to buy an used bicycle for family use whom may not have yet acclimatised themselves to the local weather as well as their parents had.
-@manwonder

Yes.

-Today I saved 5 bucks by running after a bus! said a son proud to his father.

-You are stupid, said the father disapointed. You could have saved much more if you had run after a taxi instead...

(But in difference from all other stories I tell, I suppouse that one is made up 

@coach53
"Btw my 88yo mother walked 5 km yesterday in around 30 C to get apointed covid shot because new company had got the bus route permits, and didnt inform so she didnt find which bus go there so she walked. When I phoned her she said she was a bit tired, but when she got home she had went to make her weekly laundry anyway! "because I do that on Mondays"

Hat's off to your mum! My Mum and Dad are 80 and 83 respectively, and still go camping (in caravan) and bird watching, which requires some walking. That's the secret I think, having an interest and a little walking.
-@gsturdee

Yes, exersising in combination with rather healthy eating and such,  keep a "young mind"  - and can need some luck too so not get injured - have big effects at aging.

((I find some people turning old a booring allready around 30 yo     so before I got injured I replaced them with friends around 20 yo, which these young ones seemed to like. E g a group of 4 junior players were very much together when they did something else than their main sport too, but when any of them were missing of some reason, so they were one short for such as tennis or cards, instead of phoning anyone else in their age, they phoned me,  inspite of I were around 40 yo!  ))

My mother walk 1 - 2 km daily just for exersise and her father were in extreem good shape even runned sometimes 80+ by exersising until he got hit by a car when he was 85 so he couldnt exersise anything a while. But he was in rather good body shape anyway still when he was 95, when he broke his leg by slipping in shower - and then caretaker home did kill him by feed him to fast so he got suffocated to death by their clumbsyness.  Double clumbsyness by the food were suppoused to be cut in extra small pieces for easier thewing, but it wasnt, otherwice he hadnt got sufficated by a big meat part...

@coach53 Do you ever post anything here where you do not describe yourself as an old football hero? And it's probably just soccer, not real football, North American style lol. More seriously I would not give advice on the use of coconut oil as a sunscreen with SPF factor. I doubt it has much UV A or B shielding. 

@coach53 Do you ever post anything here where you do not describe yourself as an old football hero? And it's probably just soccer, not real football, North American style lol. More seriously I would not give advice on the use of coconut oil as a sunscreen with SPF factor. I doubt it has much UV A or B shielding.
-@danfinn

Havent you noticed I tell a lot of examples about Filipinos and expats too?!

I have told several such recently too. But not odd I know many examples to the context about myself too 

((And I start some parts with such double brackets, which mean that part can be skiped    And I have NOT called myself football hero or such, I played in an around top 10 team BUT have told I mainly assisted the stars by taking back the ball and passed it to them to handle most.))

How come Americans call American football "football" when almost whole games are played with HANDS?!   

Btw why do American football players have so much protection things? soccer have just tiny protection of lower part of legs    AUSTRALIAN football is much tougher than American football by its rather similar hard but Australian football have very litle protection...

I dont know about SPF factor for coconut oil, I just saw a recepie where a big part was coconut oil.

coach53 said . . . .((And I start some parts with such double brackets, which mean that part can be skiped

*************************************************************************

Good idea. . . . . .double bracket each and every post.

coach53 said . . . .((And I start some parts with such double brackets, which mean that part can be skiped
*************************************************************************
Good idea. . . . . .double bracket each and every post.
-@Enzyte Bob

Why dont you not write your ** posts at all? 

@coach53
"Btw my 88yo mother walked 5 km yesterday in around 30 C to get apointed covid shot because new company had got the bus route permits, and didnt inform so she didnt find which bus go there so she walked. When I phoned her she said she was a bit tired, but when she got home she had went to make her weekly laundry anyway! "because I do that on Mondays"

Hat's off to your mum! My Mum and Dad are 80 and 83 respectively, and still go camping (in caravan) and bird watching, which requires some walking. That's the secret I think, having an interest and a little walking.
-@gsturdee

I think Coach is slightly bending the truth here. A quick google check shows the temperature in Sweden yesterday was a bit cooler than the 30 degrees he is saying. More like 18 or 20 degrees.

@Cherryann01

Well...I guess it's hats off to Coach's mum for walking a long way in the heat. I quite enjoy his posts actually. He seems to have a rich "lived experience" in the Philippines province, and is candid, willing to defend his opinions.

I'm relatively new to expats blogs (and I know my posts are long-winded and I'll have to cut back a bit), but I do enjoy following the lively conversations and jousting sometimes too. Like I've mentioned, I've learned a lot.

There's a couple of regulars whose contribution I appreciate, like @EnzyteBob who is a site veteran and very detailed with prices and facts, and yourself with private humour, and disarming honesty. Especially @PalaOne who is a peace-maker and works to see everyone's opinion and keep the conversations rolling. Quite a few others in fact, not to omit.

I do hope to have that beer with you if we both end up in Cebu at some point in the future, when you're meeting your daughter.

On the topic of "Have I felt used"...oh so many times. Since arriving in the Philippines I've evolved from feeling sympathetic, to instructive, to frustrated, to cynical, to pragmatic...and so it goes. One time we assisted a neighbor with college fees, who ended up dropping out. During this visit to Philippines (July) her and the BF asked for a "business loan" which we declined, and now they refuse to talk to us...

I think Coach is slightly bending the truth here. A quick google check shows the temperature in Sweden yesterday was a bit cooler than the 30 degrees he is saying. More like 18 or 20 degrees.
-@Cherryann01

Sweden isnt tiny as UK    so in Sweden there are normaly big differences between different parts specialy when some are sunny and some have dark clouds. (Biger differences in winters though, then it can be more than 30 C difference between different parts.)

It seem you dont know official weather data are messured in SHADOW normaly, but SUNNY most part of her walking route. On top of that add cities some heat by more reflection than rural parts (except water) and this city is beside water so the water reflect extra too...

Contrary to what another poster said, Filipinos are not afraid of getting wet by rain. As kids, my friends and I would sneak out of the house and go out in the rain. We were kids so we really didn't think about the risks involved like getting hit by lightning or diseases from rain water.

The reason why Filipinos seek shelter when it rains is commonsense:

1. Most rain showers here in the Philippines are accompanied by thunder and lightning. No one wants to get electrocuted.

'2. Rain in the Philippines is sometimes accompanied by strong winds which are sometimes as strong as typhoons, even if there's no typhoon. No one wants to get hit and be injured by flying and falling objects like tree branches.

'3. Rain water can carry diseases. One of them is leptospirosis, which one can get by walking or wading in rain water. Leptospirosis can be fatal if not treated quickly. No one wants to get sick or die.

'4. One can catch a cold due to the drop in temperature as a result of ones clothes getting soaked by rain. If you're already feeling a bit under the weather, getting soaked can aggravate that feeling.

As much as I would love to go out in the rain and relive my childhood days, I won't.

Coconut oil is NOT a good sunscreen according to the Mayo Clinic:

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/ … -sunscreen

I think Coach is slightly bending the truth here. A quick google check shows the temperature in Sweden yesterday was a bit cooler than the 30 degrees he is saying. More like 18 or 20 degrees.
-@Cherryann01
Sweden isnt tiny as UK  so in Sweden there are normaly big differences between different parts specialy when some are sunny and some have dark clouds. (Biger differences in winters though, then it can be more than 30 C difference between different parts.)

It seem you dont know official weather data are messured in SHADOW normaly, but SUNNY most part of her walking route. On top of that add cities some heat by more reflection than rural parts (except water) and this city is beside water so the water reflect extra too...
-@coach53

Yes I do know that the official temperature is measured in SHADOW ( for anybody else, the shade). What you do not seem to understand is that temperature is also measured in the shade in the UK and Philippines. Therefore when somebody mentions somebody in the Philippines walking in 35 degrees and you say your mum walked in 30 degrees, you are the one measuring the temperature wrongly. It was 20 degrees at most according to official measurements.

It is like you and your mum being in the same room and you claiming you are much hotter because you have your head stuck in an oven on gas mark 6.

Your bending the truth at best, maybe just telling porkies.

@Cherryann01
Well...I guess it's hats off to Coach's mum for walking a long way in the heat, if that's what he was saying. I quite enjoy his posts actually. He seems to have a rich "lived experience" in the Philippines province, and is candid, willing to defend his opinions.

Well. I have a MIX of

/old lived experience,

/several years of studying of things as e g Philippine laws,

/more or less daily fresh experience concerning our businesses (in periods as now when much happen and less often back when just waited for officials toi get something done)

/and my business partner belong too to "My personal news service"    with Filipinos from different parts geographical but also big differences in living standard from squatters to upper middle class and rather wide spread  of occupation types.  I bet they tell me things sometimes, which expats living in guarded subdivisions 20+ years without realy socialize with any common Filipino NEVER get to know.  E g one believed salaries for Filipinos are three times higher than they realy are - among them who have full time jobs - by he live among higher middle class Filipinos...  And on top of that its common Filipinos try to show off as e g saying they earn much more than they realy do      When its such things I DONT count its a probably truth until seen official info saying same or NOT related people, not even at same island say similar.  But with several of these info people I have many years friendship - WITHOUT paying them anything -  and rather often they tell even embarrassing things about themselves and/or family, perhaps by they know I dont tell further or if I tell something of public interest I tell so it cant be identified who.  Except if some recognice by someone same person,. who have told to that person too and then they knew it anyway 

/Plus I ask other Filipinos than them in that "news service" too.   And much I learn by what they tell WRONG too  and by react

E g one real estate broker had marked wrong lot for sale at scetchmap with many lots.

-Is the  building behind ther green living house included too? 

-The green house belong to baranggay captain. The house for sale is 500 meter closer to highway.

-So which lot at the scetchmap is fpr sale?

-The one I marked in add.

-But thats the lot with the green hoiuse.

-No its the correct one.

(But obviosly wasnt, easy identlfied by how the road curved.)

An other:

-The lot for sale is 76 000 hectares.

-But the scetchmap more like estimated 76 hectares.

-No its 76 000 hectares.

-But it isnt space for 76 000 hectares in whole that walley.

-It is 76 000 hectares.

He said same 3 years later, when I asked again because a rich client perhaps could be interested for a business project.  The price is told per hectare so not odd it isnt sold yet inspite of its very cheap beach per CORRECT hectare, but  expensive if add three zeros at total price   

I'm relatively new to expats blogs (and I know my posts are long-winded and I'll have to cut back a bit), but I do enjoy following the lively conversations and jousting sometimes too.

I think you can  write longer too   

On the topic of "Have I felt used"...oh so many times. Since arriving in the Philippines I've evolved from feeling sympathetic, to instructive, to frustrated, to cynical, to pragmatic...and so it goes. One time we assisted a neighbor with college fees, who ended up dropping out. During this visit to Philippines (July) her and the BF asked for a "business loan" which we declined, and now they refuse to talk to us...

-@gsturdee

I guess they are malay Filipinos   

(The big laugh depend of whats said in some other topics, some agree with me, some get angry because I tell the embarrassing for many - but not all of them - truth...)

An other embarrassing truth sayer too, who get liked and hated, is Philippina Pea at Youtube. I have seen only some but alll I have seen are good.

"My" tribe isnt at all like that of them I have been in contact with or heared of from the others. Except two are crap, and some missbehave a bit when they get drunk. But as an other foreigner said about the team he hired for some projects.

-These guys neither drink nor gamble, they work...

And he said too they get things done as he instructed.

Btw  Normaly I give NO LOANS.  Because if saying Yes one time then it become much harder to say No later...

I gave a loan though to a motorbike needed often in our work because his old broke often so he had WALKED long three times when he had planned to do business related things and old motorbike broke. Once it broke away from homr so he had to push it far to get ut home. The longest walk was 2 x 25 km!   He even try to pay back FASTER than we agreed 

Normaly I only pay for DONE work.(except if someone need a litle to gas to motorbike to get somewhere for the work), plus my business partner I gave some in advance of his future business income share because for "busimess leading" type of work he get NOTYHING until share payput time, so he can manage without needing to prioriotuce down own projects, unil its time for such payout. But all get pay for "body work" direct to him too for the parts he do himself.

Therefore when somebody mentions somebody in the Philippines walking in 35 degrees and you say your mum walked in 30 degrees, you are the one measuring the temperature wrongly. It was 20 degrees at most according to official measurements.

It is like you and your mum being in the same room and you claiming you are much hotter because you have your head stuck in an oven on gas mark 6.
-@Cherryann01

Thats STUPID arguing.

If walking in SHADE then get hit be the heat in the SHADE

If walking in SUN then get hit be the heat in the SUN,

It seem you havent noticed such as e g long distance runners on roads or terrain some try to take route in shade even when its a bit longer. There is a REASON for that  =The reason I said   

The temperature in shade is totaly IRRELEVANT for effect on the person when something happen in sun.  You dont uinderstand whats IMPORTANT as usual...

@Cherryann01
Well...I guess it's hats off to Coach's mum for walking a long way in the heat. I quite enjoy his posts actually. He seems to have a rich "lived experience" in the Philippines province, and is candid, willing to defend his opinions.

I'm relatively new to expats blogs (and I know my posts are long-winded and I'll have to cut back a bit), but I do enjoy following the lively conversations and jousting sometimes too. Like I've mentioned, I've learned a lot.

There's a couple of regulars whose contribution I appreciate, like @EnzyteBob who is a site veteran and very detailed with prices and facts, and yourself with private humour, and disarming honesty. Especially @PalaOne who is a peace-maker and works to see everyone's opinion and keep the conversations rolling. Quite a few others in fact, not to omit.

I do hope to have that beer with you if we both end up in Cebu at some point in the future, when you're meeting your daughter.

On the topic of "Have I felt used"...oh so many times. Since arriving in the Philippines I've evolved from feeling sympathetic, to instructive, to frustrated, to cynical, to pragmatic...and so it goes. One time we assisted a neighbor with college fees, who ended up dropping out. During this visit to Philippines (July) her and the BF asked for a "business loan" which we declined, and now they refuse to talk to us...
-@gsturdee

I am also fairly new on the forum, at least compared to a lot of the members and I just like to tell things how I see them. I have learned a lot of interesting things since joining and am still miles away from deciding my future in regard to retiring in the Philippines. Let us just say that if I were to retire anywhere in the world that I could afford and without the complication of having a daughter there, the Philippines would not even make the top ten. But then again, can the love of a good woman and being with my daughter bring enough joy and happiness to just live with the negatives I clearly see living there.

There are also positives, I hear there are some excellent golf courses over there and some exceptional views to see when out walking and buying a cycle would give me a good form of exercise. One thing I particularly do love over there are the waterfalls. Few things are better than swimming in crystal clear water next to the falls and taking food and pop to make a day of it. I prefer the waterfalls to the beach.

Sounds like you are experiencing the full spectrum of emotions with regards to being used and I would also refuse to give somebody a business loan. While I am in England I simply send some money every couple of months to help with expenses for our daughter and that is it apart from Christmas and Birthday presents. I think the family members and friends I have met over there with my current girlfriend have been reasonable most times. There have never been too many at once and at least they have contributed in their own way. Okay I have paid for the transport and food on days out but they have contributed by bringing rice, water, napkins and small snacks. I do enjoy reading your comments very much and there is nothing wrong with your posts being long. They are always quality and you give a very clear and structured answer to each point raised.

If I am ever in Cebu, I would love to go for a couple of beers with you and have a chat, great idea. I do sometimes fly into Cebu instead of Manila and usually just end up getting a room at the Waterfront Airport Hotel. I do not really know Cebu that well. We did visit Cebu last time I visited and Mactan but to be honest with you, I don't even know where Mactan/Lapu Lapu finishes and Cebu starts although the areas combined do seem very large. I seem to remember visiting Tops Lookout though. I do know from research though that it is no size at all compared to the Davao Metro area, which is the biggest by land mass in the Philippines.

Therefore when somebody mentions somebody in the Philippines walking in 35 degrees and you say your mum walked in 30 degrees, you are the one measuring the temperature wrongly. It was 20 degrees at most according to official measurements.

It is like you and your mum being in the same room and you claiming you are much hotter because you have your head stuck in an oven on gas mark 6.
-@Cherryann01
Thats STUPID arguing.
If walking in SHADE then get hit be the heat in the SHADE
If walking in SUN then get hit be the heat in the SUN,
It seem you havent noticed such as e g long distance runners on roads or terrain some try to take route in shade even when its a bit longer. There is a REASON for that =The reason I said 
The temperature in shade is totaly IRRELEVANT for effect on the person when something happen in sun. You dont uinderstand whats IMPORTANT as usual...
-@coach53

You are wrong and you cannot even accept the fact. Do not forget, you were the one who pointed out the temperature was officially measured in the shade so it stands to reason that that applies to both. In your example, if your mum was walking in 30 degrees, the person walking in the Philippines would have been walking in a temperature nearer to 45-50 degrees and not 35.

You brought up how temperature was measured but you cannot do a simple comparison using the same measuring system. You are just wrong, wrong wrong, so admit it for once and tell the good people your mum was walking in a temperature nearer to 20 degrees (official Temperature)