Is 1 million Thai baht too much for Sin sod Thailand

I can not possibly consider wanting to marry a woman who I have not slept with! Women just like guys become better lovers with experience. I am not talking about Bar Girl experience but one who actually knows how to treat her man..And just think about committing to a woman who you don't click with in the bed?


Not this guy!

Ontheriver wrote:

I can not possibly consider wanting to marry a woman who I have not slept with! Women just like guys become better lovers with experience. I am not talking about Bar Girl experience but one who actually knows how to treat her man..And just think about committing to a woman who you don't click with in the bed?

Not this guy!

So women with a moral code are out for you?

Stupid is as stupid does, you may deserve what you get. Why look for answers here when you know what you're going to do?

Not what I said Fred.. He is adult just like all of us are.. I am not interested in girls!

Roadhog wrote:

Stupid is as stupid does, you may deserve what you get. Why look for answers here when you know what you're going to do?

An old line from Forrest Gump.

The fact that this guy shared this story means that deep down inside he realizes something is strange with this situation. But instead of coming in here with an open mind, he seems to want to be convinced that what he hopes to be true actually is true. He has his mind made up, albeit with doubts, but wants to be told that everything is going to be alright even though most people see red flags without the preconceived idea that this man has and the desire for this situation to be true.

You should listen to your gut here. It's trying to tell you something you are trying to ignore.

As for the virgin aspect, there are reasons for the virgin issue to come into play. Whether it's biological, emotional, sociological, traditional, or in this case economical. It is being used to ask for more money, therefore, the economical aspect is the one I wanted to address here. I didn't want to get into all the other reasons.

I believe women do take a lot of behavioral cues from their first sexual partner. My wife's first boyfriend kept calling her on her birthday well after we got married. I got her to change her mobile number to put a stop to that. She would always talk to him when he called even though I was present when she took the call. Giving credence to the idea that a female never loses complete feeling for her first sexual partner. That may be the reason for the virginity of the girl being used to increase the amount of the Sin Sod. I just fear that it isn't true, so he is being lied to here. Where there is 1 lie, there are more. Just saying.

Ontheriver wrote:

Not what I said Fred.. He is adult just like all of us are.. I am not interested in girls!

No worries. I won't judge you just because you're gay.

What???

Ontheriver wrote:

What???

You said you don't like women. No worries - nobody judges these days

You have issues man...Serious issues!

Ontheriver wrote:

You have issues man...Serious issues!

I was trying to work out what you mean so I read your recent posts again. I assumed your declaration about not liking girls to be a exit from the closet, but it now looks like you were referring to young girls.
An 18 year old woman might not be mature, but neither is she a child. Assuming you used 'girls' as a suggestion the OP is into younger than reasonable females, it isn't really on.
I happen to think he's making a massive mistake that'll more than likely end up badly, much being because of the age gap, but he's far from being a kiddie fiddler.

If you meant 'girls' to mean something else, perhaps you could clarify.

First, Fred, I don't think he's gay. I think he just left out the word other. I'm not interested in other girls. I have been living in Thailand for more than 20 years and the Thais like things from different cultures. So this one is from India called a dowry. The pretty girls that are virgins get the most money and it works its way down from there. This is being done all the time in northern Thailand. Usually, it's done in baht gold.
https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/voices/cu … ry-culture

Roadhog wrote:

First, Fred, I don't think he's gay. I think he just left out the word other.

"Other" would change the meaning of the sentence but, as he missed it out twice, I'm settling on him making a suggestion the OP was consorting with a girl - ie. a child.
Much as I think the age gap is likely to cause problems and I wouldn't go there myself, she isn't a minor so the thought is a little over the top.
However, apart from the age gap, I thought this sounded more like the OP was negotiating for a night with an expensive prostitute rather than courting a wife.

She's 18 and still on her v's, and we plan to get married mid next year. It's come the time for discussion and she's been worried about it for a while because he's had a 5 mil price in his head for years.

Te age gap is one thing, but the attitude seems worse.

Ontheriver wrote:

The virgin part is not really important but the age is...Show me any 18 year old and I will show you someone who has not lived yet.

It is because it's being used to increase the amount of the Sin Sod. It's the old Thai belief that a virgin wife is worth more. Apparently this was discussed at some point because he made it a point in his account of the situation. How else or why else would she being a virgin be brought up? The point is; how does he even know this to be true if he hasn't slept with her? It's being used to make him pay more and he has no way to know if it's true.

I seriously doubt she is. My wife is not promiscuous  'สำส่อน', but she hasn't heard of many Thai girls still being a virgin at 18.

Also, the point that if you can find at least 1 lie then there must be others which you haven't found, yet.

- @JayEsCee

To be honest I don't think virginity is really as much of a contributing factor as much as that's just the way their family is and it's how she's expected and believed to be. I believe it's more the fact that's she's his precious and only daughter and the family standing thing. For what it's worth I believe her and in any case won't say anything further to substantiate or validate it on this forum as it's not important. If she wasn't it wouldn't change a thing for me.

I would like you to keep us posted on how this turns out (maybe the next 3 to 5 years). I have been living in Thailand for 26 of the past 29 years and I have never seen a situation like this. Most Thais don't practice Sin Sod anymore. If they do, it's not for this kind of money. This sounds like a set up from the girl's father. I'm not saying for sure it is, but it sure sounds fishy.

I have heard of situations where the Thai girls marry a foreigner, ask for money to buy houses, cars, land, etc. all in the girl's name. Then as soon as the ink on the marriage documents dry she has the locks on the doors changed and has the police issue orders to keep away as the divorce gets settled. All as a complete surprise to the husband. These are scams and they were always meant to be scams. I'm not saying yours is, but it sure sounds odd and like how those scams were set up.

I would be very cautious and set up an arrangement where the money goes into an account where both you and your wife would have to sign for it to be withdrawn. If they refuse, you know something is being plotted and I would act like I'm not interested in getting married at this point.

Good luck on this decision. I hope it goes well, as it seems you have already made up your mind. People do what they ultimately want or wish to be true. It doesn't always turn out as you want or wish in the end. Let us know how this turns out. It could help future cases like this so others won't get scammed, if this is in fact a scam.

- @JayEsCee

I hear you. Don't think it's them scamming me it's just what I've determined fishing for info in advance. I feel they're so happy for her they may be inclined to forget it if it came down to that even.

Man, 35, wants an 18 year old virgin.
It hardly matters if he's talking about any virgin or a specific one, and the the price is nothing to do with much - I see problems not far down the road.

Previous suggestion have been to get out - Seems reasonable.

- @Fred

When you say it like that it sounds bad. Yea I want her, I know her and she's good and has a good heart. That's one thing I can't really illustrate here unfortunately. Can't change any of the other details, just provided as background info for you guys more than anything.

JayEsCee wrote:

It is because it's being used to increase the amount of the Sin Sod. It's the old Thai belief that a virgin wife is worth more. .

Apart from idea this being a lot more widespread than Thailand, there might actually be some biological truth in it.
The first and obvious is the lack of STDs. Next up comes a very common male wish for virgins - Supply and demand is the basis of most business.
The we move on to the science. The university of Seattle did a lot of work on male DNA in women's brains, finding many had implanted DNA in their brains from sexual partners and that influenced behaviour.
Another common belief is that a woman tend to imprint onto her first sexual partner. There may be human evidence of this I'm unaware of, but I do know of research that suggest it's true in non-human species.  If memory serves, some species have offspring that are influenced by the first sexual partner, not the actual sire. I think that was Australian research with fruitflies, but one has to wonder if it translates to mammals.

- @Fred

Well … I have been called an animal before

Roadhog wrote:

First, Fred, I don't think he's gay. I think he just left out the word other.

"Other" would change the meaning of the sentence but, as he missed it out twice, I'm settling on him making a suggestion the OP was consorting with a girl - ie. a child.
Much as I think the age gap is likely to cause problems and I wouldn't go there myself, she isn't a minor so the thought is a little over the top.
However, apart from the age gap, I thought this sounded more like the OP was negotiating for a night with an expensive prostitute rather than courting a wife.

She's 18 and still on her v's, and we plan to get married mid next year. It's come the time for discussion and she's been worried about it for a while because he's had a 5 mil price in his head for years.

Te age gap is one thing, but the attitude seems worse.

- @Fred

Agreed it was bad wording. Just trying to be brief and give as much details as possible for consideration.

Stupid is as stupid does, you may deserve what you get. Why look for answers here when you know what you're going to do?

- @Roadhog

I don't know what I'm going to do in relation to negotiating such things. That's why I've come here for insight and I've got some reasonable info since and I'm grateful for that.

Roadhog wrote:

Stupid is as stupid does, you may deserve what you get. Why look for answers here when you know what you're going to do?

An old line from Forrest Gump.

The fact that this guy shared this story means that deep down inside he realizes something is strange with this situation. But instead of coming in here with an open mind, he seems to want to be convinced that what he hopes to be true actually is true. He has his mind made up, albeit with doubts, but wants to be told that everything is going to be alright even though most people see red flags without the preconceived idea that this man has and the desire for this situation to be true.

You should listen to your gut here. It's trying to tell you something you are trying to ignore.

As for the virgin aspect, there are reasons for the virgin issue to come into play. Whether it's biological, emotional, sociological, traditional, or in this case economical. It is being used to ask for more money, therefore, the economical aspect is the one I wanted to address here. I didn't want to get into all the other reasons.

I believe women do take a lot of behavioral cues from their first sexual partner. My wife's first boyfriend kept calling her on her birthday well after we got married. I got her to change her mobile number to put a stop to that. She would always talk to him when he called even though I was present when she took the call. Giving credence to the idea that a female never loses complete feeling for her first sexual partner. That may be the reason for the virginity of the girl being used to increase the amount of the Sin Sod. I just fear that it isn't true, so he is being lied to here. Where there is 1 lie, there are more. Just saying.

- @JayEsCee

Maybe I can add a little more info to clear some things up. It seems many are reading too much into details  I've posted and imply those are my motivations etc.

@Dazzling Racoon

I guess he isn't going to update us on this situation since it's been a year since we first got introduced to it and 6 months since he last commented. What a shame. I would like to know how this is turning out.

Payton Place revisited

@Dazzling Racoon Listen DR, I recently came across an Aussie guy (about y5 years old) who was convinced his girlfriend (50 years old) loved him to death.

When I pointed out to him that she did not post any photos of them together on any social media, fought hard to make him believe he did not need a driving license or bank account ( he should transfer money to her account) would not sleep with him or engage in copulation,  and needed to buy a new house and furniture  but without mention of his name except for the money, he finally woke up. Of course I was the bad one in this story but several months later whilst in Bkk we bumped into his fiancee in bar, working in the oldest profession.

Just be aware this is not down town Sydney.