Relationship opinions on Philippine culture and SAHMs

FilAmericanMom wrote:

JustAGuest wrote:

FilAmericanMom and Coach, I actually interpreted the way she bounced to dumpster diving with such enthusiasm was her way of saying that she wasn't serious about actually looking for any kind of job.

Looking to be rescued, rather than be a contributing partner.

If you were a friend back in the states, I would advise you to let go, move on, and look for someone else because a relationship with your chatmate will not work out, for you or for anybody who's looking for a lifelong friend and lover who's  also a contributing partner. Sorry.

FilAmericanMom,

Thank you, that certainly appears to be the case... I presented it here as diplomatically as I could, figuring this would be the most accepting forum for it, if there was any positive outlook to be found. Clearly, any US based relationship advice forum would immediately have written it off from the first message as a "that's just a freeloader, cut ties and move on," but if folks like you, who are intimately familiar with the culture, and who gave good consideration to the discussion, also think it smells fishy, then I'm accepting that as expert advice.

Unfortunately, as an empty-nester, while I'm entirely open to sponsoring a single mom and her teen-aged kids as a ready-made family, I'm not open to one who's just going to treat it as a lottery win with a permanent vacation, instead of contributing what they can to help, when it would benefit everyone involved to have two working parents. Thank you for your good advice!  I really appreciated that you listened and offered very insightful perspectives on the situation as a whole. I've learned that there's no excuse for this particular deal-breaker, and that someone who appears to be "tamad" or "tambay" is also looked on negatively in the Philippines, so there's really no good excuse to plan to let your partner carry all of the load for the rest of their life.

Thanks again!

Oops, I missed that this went onto the second page, so I just double posted... fixing that!

manwonder wrote:

Yes I chose to live life in this dumpster province & Yes I've lost face back @ home for coming here in the first place...
a) Deprived 3rd class backwater province.
b) Piped tap water (rationed) that gives us max 7m3/mth & which runs dry at least once a week.
c) Kitchen Sink/Shower drainage system does NOT exist here and all wash water flows directly out onto vacant space in between houses.
d) Electricity/Wifi is pretty decent but very expensive (So no Aircon & only Portable Wifi)
e) A re-assembled multicab to travel around in.
f) My land parcel sits on the largest residential plot (500m2) in my barangay on which I built a simple 2 b/r s/s house which was fully perimeter fenced.
g) Overall 8yrs here of which I've lived fully retired for the past 2.5yrs with many of my friendly but totally unruly neighbours.
h) Have built a small network of expat friends (group has expanded since) with whom I spend time with almost every other week sometimes they come over to my place where we enjoy a simple laser light/flood light display whilst dancing/singing/karokeying/boozing/
smoking.

j)***Just a reminder this path is just not suitable for everyone...& remember the one who laughs last laughs the best.

Manwonder, you are not paining a pretty picture of that tropical island paradise, but it sounds like a real one :-)

JustAGuest wrote:

...things took a weird turn when she decided that a reality TV show she's watching about dumpster divers was actually a good plan, which she could do as a hobby at first, but make it full time if it was paying off. I did point out that the reason that was interesting enough to be a show is because actually doing something like that and coming out making more than minimum wage for the hours invested, is incredibly rare, so that might be a side gig, or a fun hobby, but wasn't likely to be more rewarding than literally any actual employment. However, she seemed really enthusiastic about it, and went on about it at some length...

In her defense, this is one of those moments when it's helpful to be able to see the United States through the eyes of a foreigner:

US citizens especially are seen to be tremendously wasteful by many foreigners who live from hand to mouth.

I'm going to bet that she saw some things in those dumpsters that appeared to be very valuable; like finding hidden treasure.

Now of course, she may not understand the difference between the cost of living in her area and the cost of living where that TV episode was shot, so she also may not understand that what seems to be quite valuable is actually junk, in America.

But for a woman who would be facing the challenge of assimilation into another culture, that must have seemed like a really easy way to simply work hard and make good money without a very steep learning curve.

To me that actually speaks quite highly about her character and her willingness to simply work hard.

So yeah, she needs a reality check, but I would be very careful to encourage that willingness to do whatever work it would take to make your relationship successful.

JustAGuest wrote:

FilAmericanMom,

Thank you, that certainly appears to be the case... I presented it here as diplomatically as I could, figuring this would be the most accepting forum for it, if there was any positive outlook to be found. Clearly, any US based relationship advice forum would immediately have written it off from the first message as a "that's just a freeloader, cut ties and move on," but if folks like you, who are intimately familiar with the culture, and who gave good consideration to the discussion, also think it smells fishy, then I'm accepting that as expert advice.

Happy to help.

There was a post that suggested that:
"it's best to say that you want to live in their country and you have no desire to live in your country any longer than possible and you hope to be happy with them in their country and with their family and with their traditions and that you don't think you would ever want to take them back to your country because you plan to be totally happy with them in their country. . . . It's just general good advice to anyone who is trying to establish a long-distance relationship with someone in one of these countries (or even any other country, probably) that you reserve your desire to bring them back to the United States until you are 100% sure that's not what they are after."

I think it would be better to be honest and upfront on what you want and your intentions. Don't think that women can't see right through you. Also, some Filipinos actually don't want to leave their home country. They might be taking care of parents and loved ones. There are very few nursing homes in the Philippines or locally referred to as "home for the aged". And besides, here in the Philippines, sending parents to nursing homes is looked down upon. It is customary for children to take care of their elderly parents in their ripe old age. And, at least for me, it is a big turn off when a man changes his mind on major issues. I would think and ask, "With what other major decisions is he going to change his mind?" Better to be honest and not engage in any trickery, and just focus on getting to know the other person and determining whether she is honest.

Just my 2 cents.

OceanBeach92107 wrote:

There is one technique or trick or whatever you--an American citizen--want to call it when getting to know someone long distance from one of the aforementioned countries on the forum.

You will get the advice from many people that it's best to say that you want to live in their country and you have no desire to live in your country any longer than possible and you hope to be happy with them in their country and with their family and with their traditions and that you don't think you would ever want to take them back to your country because you plan to be totally happy with them in their country.

Yeah I know that's the worst kind of run-on sentence, but I hope you get what I'm saying.

It's just general good advice to anyone who is trying to establish a long-distance relationship with someone in one of these countries (or even any other country, probably) that you reserve your desire to bring them back to the United States until you are 100% sure that's not what they are after. .

I claim thats a TERRIBLE advice        specialy the part about living with her family.
Yes it can sort away the "Green card" golddigers,
BUT it can sort away GOOD women too when they get DISAPOINTED when they get to know the truth, because many WANT to STAY in Phils close to their families.  Many Americans have a tendency to belieeve USA is the dream country even for all West Europeans !!!- with the high murder percentage USA have. Even a woman from Ukraine got disapointed when she came to USA and direct started talking about get back home.

E g in a happy American-Filipina marriage, HE talk about moving to USA while SHE find it fun with TRIPS to elsewhee, but want to continue living in the municipaly where she has lived her whole life  . She find it far to live  10 minutes walk from her parents... 

(I tod I aim at settling in Phils but NOT close the family. Partly depening of I have found Palawan suiting me best,  but I dont want to live close to her family anyway, because I dont like suprice visits nor geting any visits more than once a week or so.)

FilAmericanMom wrote:

There was a post that suggested that:
"it's best to say that you want to live in their country and you have no desire to live in your country any longer than possible and you hope to be happy with them in their country and with their family and with their traditions and that you don't think you would ever want to take them back to your country because you plan to be totally happy with them in their country. . . . It's just general good advice to anyone who is trying to establish a long-distance relationship with someone in one of these countries (or even any other country, probably) that you reserve your desire to bring them back to the United States until you are 100% sure that's not what they are after."

I think it would be better to be honest and upfront on what you want and your intentions. Don't think that women can't see right through you.

  You were faster than me 

FilAmericanMom wrote:

Also, some Filipinos actually don't want to leave their home country. .

Yes. Of the Filipinas I know,  NONE realy want to move abroad if they can get ok living in Phils. A few of them have split elings between stay in Phils or move abroad o get poibility to earn more THEMSELVES,  BUT when they get to know how much more expensive it is to live in hih salary countries, their intert of moving abroad drops much 

FilAmericanMom wrote:

They might be taking care of parents and loved ones. There are very few nursing homes in the Philippines or locally referred to as "home for the aged". And besides, here in the Philippines, sending parents to nursing homes is looked down upon. It is customary for children to take care of their elderly parents in their ripe old age. And, at least for me, it is a big turn off when a man changes his mind on major issues. I would think and ask, "With what other major decisions is he going to change his mind?" Better to be honest and not engage in any trickery, and just focus on getting to know the other person and determining whether she is honest.

Yes. But by I close to not want even wife and kids live with me in calm nature because they make ome noice        (but small kids are fun)   so I sure not want any more to live together. But most are not te only child (except in split families) so it can be solved by someone of the others stay with their parents.

The caretaking of older within the family is one of the best things with Phils       In my home country the caretaking is rather good in MEDICAL point of view  but TERRIBLE in EMOTIONAL point of view normaly. 
The living costs are so high here so very few have even financial posibility to stay home and take care of parents, because BOTH spouses have to earn to manage to pay the bills when having low or aveeraee salary jobs.. And in USA are the minimum salaries so low so many parents with kids at home need to have MORE than full time jobs..  (While in Sweden are the minimum saöaries some higher so low salary jobs families can manage but strugle, so no money left over to send to Phis if having low salary jobs...   Swedish TV did show a documentary were a cleaning worker Filipina married to a worker, had send money home anyway, so she is 2 milion kronas in DEPT with high interests.  (=Around 240 000 usd.)  So NO CHANCE she can ever recover with the salaries they have. And her FFiipino family CONTINUE DEMANDING money from her, but thats her own fault by she dont tell  the truth...

JustAGuest wrote:

manwonder wrote:

Yes I chose to live life in this dumpster province & Yes I've lost face back @ home for coming here in the first place...
a) Deprived 3rd class backwater province.
b) Piped tap water (rationed) that gives us max 7m3/mth & which runs dry at least once a week.
c) Kitchen Sink/Shower drainage system does NOT exist here and all wash water flows directly out onto vacant space in between houses.
d) Electricity/Wifi is pretty decent but very expensive (So no Aircon & only Portable Wifi)
e) A re-assembled multicab to travel around in.
f) My land parcel sits on the largest residential plot (500m2) in my barangay on which I built a simple 2 b/r s/s house which was fully perimeter fenced.
g) Overall 8yrs here of which I've lived fully retired for the past 2.5yrs with many of my friendly but totally unruly neighbours.
h) Have built a small network of expat friends (group has expanded since) with whom I spend time with almost every other week sometimes they come over to my place where we enjoy a simple laser light/flood light display whilst dancing/singing/karokeying/boozing/
smoking.

j)***Just a reminder this path is just not suitable for everyone...& remember the one who laughs last laughs the best.

Manwonder, you are not paining a pretty picture of that tropical island paradise, but it sounds like a real one :-)

Err...I think I did mention in my earlier post that :
h) My expat group of friends here have actually expanded...Funny thing is that for some reason most of them like me are actually quite contended/happy living with our very low cost/minimalist lifestyle/environment & most of us/if not all are not actually married to our current live in partners/better halves.

Hello friend, find someone who is working and does not have baggage, like I did.
You will enjoy life.
But first come to Philippines and see the country for your self.
Abe

JustAGuest wrote:

I'm still in the US, and I'll be here for a while, as my job requires it. I'm interested in retiring somewhere inexpensive, but that will be a ways in the future. (At least 10-15 years.)

In the meantime, I've been talking to a Filipina online for about a month (still the very early stages,) from one of the dating sites

She has expressed a big, enthusiastic YES to the possibility of moving to the US, with her kids, and I'm more than fine with kids (mine has grown up and moved on, and hers are school age, though the older will probably have graduated before we've gotten to the point of her coming here, in 2-3 years.

Thanks for any perspectives you can provide.

Petition the kids along.  As I understood,  one of her 2 kids would have graduated already by the time they get called up.  Then it's just 1 kid college cost.  State or community college will do.  That's what -~$10K-$15K per year?   Not as bad as the "expensive" private college that are ~$30K per year at least.  Then there is financial aid that the kid can pay for. 

Or here's an idea.  Since the older kid can start working right away, let that kid shoulder the sibling's cost. 

As such, no burden on you or your potential wife.

She can stay and be a full time mother and housemaker.  Your 6 digit salary will cover extra food and that's what we do any way as men.  We bring home the bacon. 

Once the last kid graduated.  Hasta la vista to the kids and you and your wife can come and retire to Philippines while they work  and find their way in the world.

"If you have a penchant for Filipinas or asian women why not simply look in your home country, save most of the angst?" Steve, I'm sure I speak for many others that feel the same way as myself. A lot of us have had a 'gutsa' when it comes to dating women in the west (Asian women included). The attraction of Filipinas is their femininity and demureness. Once they hit foreign lands, they are often corrupted by the 'blue hair' brigade, 3rd wave feminists, sourpuss divorcees, and the 'swipe left' generation. Why else do you think there is a stampede of western men seeking Southeast Asian women?

Daytripper wrote:

"If you have a penchant for Filipinas or asian women why not simply look in your home country, save most of the angst?" Steve, I'm sure I speak for many others that feel the same way as myself. A lot of us have had a 'gutsa' when it comes to dating women in the west (Asian women included). The attraction of Filipinas is their femininity and demureness. Once they hit foreign lands, they are often corrupted by the 'blue hair' brigade, 3rd wave feminists, sourpuss divorcees, and the 'swipe left' generation. Why else do you think there is a stampede of western men seeking Southeast Asian women?

I'm trying to digest your post.

I met and married my Filipina wife in the states 14 years ago. So she was an Americanized Filipina so there is no misconception on what our marriage was based on.

Upon both of us retiring we moved to Pasig City, where she had a family home.

Are you suggesting to "Keep them down on the farm and ignorant"? I wouldn't say corruption as you implied, I would say educated to today's world.

Enzyte Bob wrote:

Daytripper wrote:

"If you have a penchant for Filipinas or asian women why not simply look in your home country, save most of the angst?" Steve, I'm sure I speak for many others that feel the same way as myself. A lot of us have had a 'gutsa' when it comes to dating women in the west (Asian women included). The attraction of Filipinas is their femininity and demureness. Once they hit foreign lands, they are often corrupted by the 'blue hair' brigade, 3rd wave feminists, sourpuss divorcees, and the 'swipe left' generation. Why else do you think there is a stampede of western men seeking Southeast Asian women?

I'm trying to digest your post.

I met and married my Filipina wife in the states 14 years ago. So she was an Americanized Filipina so there is no misconception on what our marriage was based on.

Upon both of us retiring we moved to Pasig City, where she had a family home.

Are you suggesting to "Keep them down on the farm and ignorant"? I wouldn't say corruption as you implied, I would say educated to today's world.

I'm pleased you have a successful marriage to an Americanized Filipina, and living happily in Pasig City, but I take umbrage at the suggestion that I wish to ";Keep them down on the farm and ignorant"

I'm not sure of what you exactly mean by "educated in today's world? Is this an 'Americanized' educated world? If this is the benchmark, I wish to escape it, particularly in regards to relationships between men and women.

The pendulum has has swung too far against men in the west, and some of us, more traditionally minded alpha men, seek a partner who appreciates our masculinity, and are proud of their own femininity.

I'm not going to 'open up a can of worms' debating the politics of gender. All I know, is that there is a correlation between men increasingly seeking Southeast Asian women, and the changing status of men in the west.

I, amongst others, seek Filipinas because of their endearing qualities, femininity, and more traditional attitude towards marriage.

“

Velocycling wrote:

“ Once they hit foreign lands, they are often corrupted by the 'blue hair' brigade, 3rd wave feminists, sourpuss divorcees, and the 'swipe left' generation.”
“ I'm not going to 'open up a can of worms' debating the politics”

Ok I just call you D'trippin…

I do find that statement very offendsive…

Hahaha... I am most offended by the easily offended.

Daytripper wrote:

Enzyte Bob wrote:

Daytripper wrote:

"If you have a penchant for Filipinas or asian women why not simply look in your home country, save most of the angst?" Steve, I'm sure I speak for many others that feel the same way as myself. A lot of us have had a 'gutsa' when it comes to dating women in the west (Asian women included). The attraction of Filipinas is their femininity and demureness. Once they hit foreign lands, they are often corrupted by the 'blue hair' brigade, 3rd wave feminists, sourpuss divorcees, and the 'swipe left' generation. Why else do you think there is a stampede of western men seeking Southeast Asian women?

I'm trying to digest your post.

I met and married my Filipina wife in the states 14 years ago. So she was an Americanized Filipina so there is no misconception on what our marriage was based on.

Upon both of us retiring we moved to Pasig City, where she had a family home.

Are you suggesting to "Keep them down on the farm and ignorant"? I wouldn't say corruption as you implied, I would say educated to today's world.

I'm pleased you have a successful marriage to an Americanized Filipina, and living happily in Pasig City, but I take umbrage at the suggestion that I wish to ";Keep them down on the farm and ignorant"

I'm not sure of what you exactly mean by "educated in today's world? Is this an 'Americanized' educated world? If this is the benchmark, I wish to escape it, particularly in regards to relationships between men and women.

The pendulum has has swung too far against men in the west, and some of us, more traditionally minded alpha men, seek a partner who appreciates our masculinity, and are proud of their own femininity.

I'm not going to 'open up a can of worms' debating the politics of gender. All I know, is that there is a correlation between men increasingly seeking Southeast Asian women, and the changing status of men in the west.

I, amongst others, seek Filipinas because of their endearing qualities, femininity, and more traditional attitude towards marriage.

It's hard to begin where you left off.

Americanized, Educated in Today's World: Americanized meaning adjusting to the first world. The pendulum has not swung to far to men in the west, it has swung to equalization. The so called traditional minded Alpha men have failed to keep up.  Looking for a partner who appreciates your masculinity? That says it all.

Please explain to me their traditional attitude towards marriage?

I guess you are afraid of an educated, independent  woman with her own opinions.  Your Alpha male ideas will not except or take the challenge.

“My plan is to find a keeper,”

That is why you are a lonely old man…

Velocycling wrote:

“My plan is to find a keeper,”

That is why you are a lonely old man…

Is that the best you can do, an ad hominem attack? I must have struck a nerve... If you're not bringing anything to the table, give up your seat.

I heard this from someone years ago and it really got me thinking.  "People don't change when they become wealthy, they just have the opportunity to be what they always were inside."   When it comes to Filipinas being corrupted or "Americanized" its mostly unexperienced children that are corrupted when they go to America.  I have a lot of foreigner friends in the states and they have not been corrupted by America but most of their children have been and also the ones that came to America at a young age.

My DAD was dedicated, hardworking and helped others in need and he taught us the same by giving us jobs at a young age and making us work for what we wanted.  A lot of Americans (including the foreigners) don't teach their children to work for what the want and instead teach them to go to school and get educated but without a good work ethic (including being submissive to your boss) will not get you very far in this world regardless of where you live unless you're like Donald Trump and your father "lends" you $1M to start your first business.

That being said, its really worth spending time getting to know who someone really is before getting involved with them.  Also, be careful with someone who is extremely attractive on the outside more likely than not they are ugly inside.  And, it doesn't matter how beautiful a person is when they are young, we all grow old and get "ugly" after awhile so its better to be with someone less attractive that's beautiful on the inside.

"Americanized, Educated in Today's World: Americanized meaning adjusting to the first world. The pendulum has not swung to far to men in the west, it has swung to equalization. The so called traditional minded Alpha men have failed to keep up.  Looking for a partner who appreciates your masculinity? That says it all.

Please explain to me their traditional attitude towards marriage?

I guess you are afraid of an educated, independent  woman with her own opinions.  Your Alpha male ideas will not except or take the challenge."

""Americanized, Educated in Today's World: Americanized meaning adjusting to the first world."

I see. The Philippines should 'adjust' to the Americanized version of the first world. That's pretty generous of you. This archaic and antiquated perspective is counterintuitive and pejorative.

"The pendulum has not swung to far to men in the west, it has swung to equalization."

That is your personal opinion. Why are men opting out of the dating/marriage scene in the west, and seeking overseas alternatives in unprecedented numbers?

"The so called traditional minded Alpha men have failed to keep up."
 
The 'traditional minded alpha men' don't try to 'keep up', but rather, choose their own path. They don't need reassurance from others or don't pretend to be what they are not.

"Looking for a partner who appreciates your masculinity? That says it all."

As opposed to what? Please enlighten me...

"Please explain to me their traditional attitude towards marriage?"

I'll use my parents as an example. They recently celebrated their 64th wedding Anniversary. What are the statistics on divorce of modern day 'woke' marriages?

"I guess you are afraid of an educated, independent  woman with her own opinions.  Your Alpha male ideas will not except or take the challenge."

Au contraire. Biological evolution says otherwise. Beta males may be a woman's best friend, but the Alpha male will be procreating with the sexiest and smartest.

You know this thread has taken an interesting turn. It seems to me that educated is not a criteria for being Americanized, that sadly to say is a matter of the economic structure of the USA and most western countries, where having/getting more is the only important thing and the more you have the more one fits into the concept of Americanized. Personally, I have dated many many women from many counties and found all of them to be intelligent, but the ones from western countries are Americanized by the economics of this way of life. Asia and much of the middle east have not become that westernized. Intelligence is not a matter of education it is a matter of circumstance. The thing that I believe sets Asian women apart is that they are willing to accept a man for who he is as long as he can accept her for who she is. I have been married 3 times to Americanized/westernized women none of which took, because it was always a battle between us to seem equal while not actually accepting the other person. I luckily met a Filipina woman that could and did accept me as I am, which I can say without a doubt is difficult. I am not an easy person to live with. Well, peace and love to all

just go to see her in real and stay 1 month with her living same condo 24h and see..if doesnt work...you can easily get an honnest and good wife withotu kid around 30-35's ..age is just a number there.till the girl is mature and a hardworker..u no need to worry..for the scam even you talk to be aware of it,i can tell you we never aware enough some are smarter thazn all you can imagine and can make a big sacrifice to made belive youy that they are real to love you...i had one she tatto y family name and name on her boobs till her Pus**,like so craey thing tht most tatoo man will denied,so after 2 years of chat,and done that tattoo (she still have it so its a real one ) of course how i cant trust her after this act..
but finally just weeks after she cheated me so far..so the story is we never enough aware of Pinay to lie to oyu to cheating you..but with patience and lot of chat you can find many good girl,usually they are the one nnot connectefd 24h on social media and do not have 5k men friendon facebook lol.

good point is when u video call at any hours and she reply to you...thats is a real good point to know she is rel single.

second good poiint is a proof she work hard for real

third good point,you can ask her if yu can sent her money to help ..if she say you "no" its perfect...(that what done my girl n still doing)

while this 3 points check..i think can trust it...i hd bad luck with pinay ..coz on internet is full of player,scammer,golddigger,but in real life,they are plenty of good girl.if you treat them with respect and never judge them.

them culture of love is far not the same as US,;so sometime is hard to understand each other abotu feeling,they not show you love as we can show to them..it take many year to understand Filipino/a mindset...once u understand and accept it...you can find your perfect love...you have time as you say not before 10y...wow...i cant wait that time....so for less problem...if u not love her already..i m sorry to say that but swap*....coz i tried with kids..and i not had enough saving to face it and she go away faster...and i hurted for year.

cheers

Corsica Sia wrote:

just go to see her in real and stay 1 month with her living same condo 24h and see..if doesnt work...you can easily get an honnest and good wife withotu kid around 30-35's ..age is just a number there.till the girl is mature and a hardworker..u no need to worry..for the scam even you talk to be aware of it,i can tell you we never aware enough some are smarter thazn all you can imagine and can make a big sacrifice to made belive youy that they are real to love you...i had one she tatto y family name and name on her boobs till her Pus**,like so craey thing tht most tatoo man will denied,so after 2 years of chat,and done that tattoo (she still have it so its a real one ) of course how i cant trust her after this act..
but finally just weeks after she cheated me so far..so the story is we never enough aware of Pinay to lie to oyu to cheating you..but with patience and lot of chat you can find many good girl,usually they are the one nnot connectefd 24h on social media and do not have 5k men friendon facebook lol.

good point is when u video call at any hours and she reply to you...thats is a real good point to know she is rel single.

second good poiint is a proof she work hard for real

third good point,you can ask her if yu can sent her money to help ..if she say you "no" its perfect...(that what done my girl n still doing)

while this 3 points check..i think can trust it...i hd bad luck with pinay ..coz on internet is full of player,scammer,golddigger,but in real life,they are plenty of good girl.if you treat them with respect and never judge them.

them culture of love is far not the same as US,;so sometime is hard to understand each other abotu feeling,they not show you love as we can show to them..it take many year to understand Filipino/a mindset...once u understand and accept it...you can find your perfect love...you have time as you say not before 10y...wow...i cant wait that time....so for less problem...if u not love her already..i m sorry to say that but swap*....coz i tried with kids..and i not had enough saving to face it and she go away faster...and i hurted for year.

cheers

Every point you made sounds like buying a used car on Ebay or Facebook Market Place or worse. You're kicking the tires and then buying as-is no refunds. There is no lemon Law in the Philippines to protect you. To bad you can't check her out on Carfax.

Most guys spend more time checking out a used car, good for only a few years, than looking for a lifetime Filipina partner. Maybe  that  used car will last longer then your Filipina partner.