Helpful Tips for Expats Visiting Philippines

moonunit0103 wrote:

Hi,

That being said, there are a few things I have learned over the past two years since I decided to visit the Philippines.  Keep in mind I was looking for a girlfriend, possibly marriage, not a horizontal encounter.

For myself, I  had an age range in mind and preferred an RN or a teacher.  This helped me narrow down the field somewhat.  Their level of English fluency is generally better, since many college classes are taught in English.

The expat is the prize here in the Philippines, so you need to be a leader and the Filipina will respect and admire you. 

Another thing I looked for was that she was raised by both parents and they are still together.

Take your time.  It takes a year or more to get to know a person.

Well Moonunit 0103,

Excerpts taken out of context by me (W9XR)

Well for everything you've were looking for, why did you choose the Philippines to look? For all the things you are suggesting  eliminates many Filipina's for anyone who follows your 11 step program.

RN or Teacher, there are more Filipina RN's worldwide and maybe even in some countries. If a woman goes through all the trouble of being a RN, she had a bigger goal in mind, like getting out of the Philippines.

Yes the Expat is the prize here, like Lechon on two hoofs.

If she is a RN or Teacher being an Expat does not get respect or admiration by itself. Leadership has to be earned and shared, thinking you are the leader by being a male expat will not work.

Yes, more fish in the sea, but they should be fishing where the fish are. Educated Filipina in a certain age group, (what age group is that?) two parents in a lasting "Marriage", one who admires, adores and will be subservient to an Expat?

Should they spend two years of looking  for a girlfriend?  What they are looking for could have lots of boyfriends and doesn't have to look for them. Educated Filipina's are looking for a future beyond a boyfriend, maybe you got the last one eligible.

A funny thing, I met and married a Filipina in the states, wasn't looking for a Filipina or marriage. All my wife's friends were Filipina's, some very hot, educated  with good jobs. I can count on my fingers, on both hands, how many times they asked me if I could introduce them to some of my friends.

Well Moonunit 0103, I think you are a good guy and I wish you luck and appreciate what you have to say now and in the past.

YMMV as mine does.

W9XR wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

Hi,

That being said, there are a few things I have learned over the past two years since I decided to visit the Philippines.  Keep in mind I was looking for a girlfriend, possibly marriage, not a horizontal encounter.

For myself, I  had an age range in mind and preferred an RN or a teacher.  This helped me narrow down the field somewhat.  Their level of English fluency is generally better, since many college classes are taught in English.

The expat is the prize here in the Philippines, so you need to be a leader and the Filipina will respect and admire you. 

Another thing I looked for was that she was raised by both parents and they are still together.

Take your time.  It takes a year or more to get to know a person.

Well Moonunit 0103,

Excerpts taken out of context by me (W9XR)

Well you've been looking for two years, why choose the Philippines to look? For all the things you are looking for just about eliminates most Filipina's.

RN or Teacher, there are more Filipina RN's worldwide and maybe even in some countries. If a woman goes through all the trouble of being a RN, she had a bigger goal in mind, like getting out of the Philippines.

Yes the Expat is the prize here, like Lechon on two hoofs.

If she is a RN or Teacher being an Expat does not get respect or admiration by itself. Leadership has to be earned and shared, thinking you are the leader by being a male expat will not work.

Yes, more fish in the sea, but you should be fishing where the fish are. Educated Filipina in a certain age group, (what age group is that?) two parents in a lasting "Marriage", one who admires, adores and will be subservient to an Expat?

Two years of looking  for a girlfriend?  What you are looking for could have lots of boyfriends and doesn't have to look for them. Educated Filipina's are looking for a future.

A funny thing, I met and married a Filipina in the states, wasn't looking for a Filipina or marriage. All my wife's friends were Filipina's, some very hot, educated  with good jobs. I can count on my fingers, on both hands, how many times they asked me if I could introduce them to some of my friends.

Well Moonunit 0103, I think you are a good guy and I wish you luck and appreciate what you have to say now and in the past.

YMMV as mine does.

I was coming up on a birthday, and decided to travel overseas.  Started watching YT travel vlogs and thought the Philippines would be a good fit. Came last year for 8 weeks, and returned June and have been here ever since. Met my wife last year (chatted on FC and she was the first and only Filipina I have been with), got married December, so far, so good.

Not sure what you mean by subservient, but we get along very well, thank you.

I did a similar thing 29 years ago with pen pals.  I wanted to find someone who was within 7 years of my age, college educated or someone who had worked overseas before.  I also preferred Luzon but not in Metro Manila.  It took a lot of letters to narrow the field, but it was worth almost 3 years of letter writing.  I wrote to about 40 girls, got answers from 25 and started the eliminating.  Funny thing, my second choice got married to an American much older than me and when she got to the USA they gave me a call, was in touch for 10 years until he died.

moonunit0103 wrote:

I was coming up on a birthday, and decided to travel overseas.  Started watching YT travel vlogs and thought the Philippines would be a good fit. Came last year for 8 weeks, and returned June and have been here ever since. Met my wife last year (chatted on FC and she was the first and only Filipina I have been with), got married December, so far, so good.

Not sure what you mean by subservient, but we get along very well, thank you.

I had edited and changed my reply, before reading your reply.

moonunit0103 wrote:

Hi,

Before I get started, I know that opinions are like azzholes, everyone has one.  That being said, there are a few things I have learned over the past two years since I decided to visit the Philippines.  Keep in mind I was looking for a girlfriend, possibly marriage, not a horizontal encounter.

1.  If you are looking for a good woman who will be a good wife, make sure you stay away from the bars and sleazy areas of town.  You will not meet good virtuous women there, and you might get an STD. And, Ho's don't make good housewives.

2.  Unless you have a passport and an upcoming flight, stay off the dating sites.  90% of profiles on filipinocupid.com and [link moderated] are scammers.  Some are ladyboys.  I did not do the video chatting, just texting and swapped some photos.  Keeps things friendly. Seeing a cutie on video can tug on heartstrings, so I avoided it.

3.  If you are on a dating site, and after a few chats, they start lamenting about needing load, money for their dog's surgery, grandma's funeral, etc., BLOCK THEM. There are millions who are honest and will never ask for money. And, NEVER SEND MONEY TO SOMEONE YOU HAVE NEVER MET PERSONALLY.

4. For myself, I  had an age range in mind and preferred an RN or a teacher.  This helped me narrow down the field somewhat.  Their level of English fluency is generally better, since many college classes are taught in English.

5.  Having had stepkids from a previous marriage, there is very little upside, mostly things which are really annoying.  So, no single moms for me.  No baby daddys to worry with, either.

6.  Things are traditional here, where the man is the head of the house.  The expat is the prize here in the Philippines, so you need to be a leader and the Filipina will respect and admire you.  Good reading is "The Rational Male", by Rollo Tomassi.  Rich Cooper's YT channel is also very good.

7.  Many Churches here have services in English, with familiar songs and hymns.  It is a good place to look for a nice girl.

8. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.  If you do some chatting, make sure you have a backup plan in case you get ghosted or don't click with the lady you are mainly interested in.  And, if things don't feel right within a few weeks, MOVE ON.  There are other fishes in the sea.

9.  Another thing I looked for was that she was raised by both parents and they are still together.  If the father is absent, the woman may have Daddy Issues......

10.  If the woman is constantly glued to her smartphone, NEXT!!!!!   It is really bad in the Philippines, now that all teens have these things, but it is extremely addictive for all ages, as well.

11.  Take your time.  It takes a year or more to get to know a person.  I have made the mistake in the past of going too fast, and regretted it.  Usually, I have found the surprises to not be good ones. 


Feel free to comment or add to my list, which are some random thoughts.  Hope someone finds this helpful.

Nicely put! I will add some points later! This is important stuff so I want to be sure how to word it! But for now the one thing that people who have not been in the Philippines for at least a year you need to know that your way of thinking does not work here at all!!! You will often not understand even the simplest of things! Until you learn how a filipino thinks and the culture it is based on you are in big dodo! for example, if you say to a Filipina "I really like you" what she heard was "I really like you and want to marry you"

mugtech wrote:

I did a similar thing 29 years ago with pen pals.  I wanted to find someone who was within 7 years of my age, college educated or someone who had worked overseas before.  I also preferred Luzon but not in Metro Manila.  It took a lot of letters to narrow the field, but it was worth almost 3 years of letter writing.  I wrote to about 40 girls, got answers from 25 and started the eliminating.  Funny thing, my second choice got married to an American much older than me and when she got to the USA they gave me a call, was in touch for 10 years until he died.

With Social Media things go much faster than with snail mail.  At first I thought I might meet some different women I had FC texted before I flew over, but I felt more of a connection with Ana and wanted to meet her first.  She was exactly as advertised.  A really impressive woman she is!!  No need to meet anyone else.

Lucky you! I hope it lasts forever!

lasvegan wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

Hi,

Before I get started, I know that opinions are like azzholes, everyone has one.  That being said, there are a few things I have learned over the past two years since I decided to visit the Philippines.  Keep in mind I was looking for a girlfriend, possibly marriage, not a horizontal encounter.

1.  If you are looking for a good woman who will be a good wife, make sure you stay away from the bars and sleazy areas of town.  You will not meet good virtuous women there, and you might get an STD. And, Ho's don't make good housewives.

2.  Unless you have a passport and an upcoming flight, stay off the dating sites.  90% of profiles on filipinocupid.com and [link moderated] are scammers.  Some are ladyboys.  I did not do the video chatting, just texting and swapped some photos.  Keeps things friendly. Seeing a cutie on video can tug on heartstrings, so I avoided it.

3.  If you are on a dating site, and after a few chats, they start lamenting about needing load, money for their dog's surgery, grandma's funeral, etc., BLOCK THEM. There are millions who are honest and will never ask for money. And, NEVER SEND MONEY TO SOMEONE YOU HAVE NEVER MET PERSONALLY.

4. For myself, I  had an age range in mind and preferred an RN or a teacher.  This helped me narrow down the field somewhat.  Their level of English fluency is generally better, since many college classes are taught in English.

5.  Having had stepkids from a previous marriage, there is very little upside, mostly things which are really annoying.  So, no single moms for me.  No baby daddys to worry with, either.

6.  Things are traditional here, where the man is the head of the house.  The expat is the prize here in the Philippines, so you need to be a leader and the Filipina will respect and admire you.  Good reading is "The Rational Male", by Rollo Tomassi.  Rich Cooper's YT channel is also very good.

7.  Many Churches here have services in English, with familiar songs and hymns.  It is a good place to look for a nice girl.

8. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.  If you do some chatting, make sure you have a backup plan in case you get ghosted or don't click with the lady you are mainly interested in.  And, if things don't feel right within a few weeks, MOVE ON.  There are other fishes in the sea.

9.  Another thing I looked for was that she was raised by both parents and they are still together.  If the father is absent, the woman may have Daddy Issues......

10.  If the woman is constantly glued to her smartphone, NEXT!!!!!   It is really bad in the Philippines, now that all teens have these things, but it is extremely addictive for all ages, as well.

11.  Take your time.  It takes a year or more to get to know a person.  I have made the mistake in the past of going too fast, and regretted it.  Usually, I have found the surprises to not be good ones. 


Feel free to comment or add to my list, which are some random thoughts.  Hope someone finds this helpful.

Nicely put! I will add some points later! This is important stuff so I want to be sure how to word it! But for now the one thing that people who have not been in the Philippines for at least a year you need to know that your way of thinking does not work here at all!!! You will often not understand even the simplest of things! Until you learn how a filipino thinks and the culture it is based on you are in big dodo! for example, if you say to a Filipina "I really like you" what she heard was "I really like you and want to marry you&quot

Right on that!!!  Patience is something to have.  Waiting in long lines is typical.  Since I live in Ormoc City, Leyte, my experience differs from those in Manila or Cebu.  The people are very gentle, sweet, enjoy karaoke and dancing, and are the most devout Catholics I have encountered. 

My list was not organized,but came to me as I was typing. 

A woman I had chatted on FC told me she was in love with a guy from Croatia and that they chatted twice a day for 2 years.  I asked her when did she last see him, she said they had never met in person!! I told her she was in love with the idea of a person, since they had never actually met.  This seems to be common.   That is why texting and swapping photos might be best.

lasvegan wrote:

Lucky you! I hope it lasts forever!

Moonunit 0103, I think you are a nice guy and I too wish you the very best!

As for me the Philippines is probably the only English speaking SEA country nearest to my home base, that does not frown on a much older (non filty rich) man living in with a very much younger woman (>25) + Its a cheap retirement home where I get to stretch my retirement funds /savings.
As for me I think "Nothing" Lasts forever (omo), and I am willing to just walk away with nothing when things don't go as planned! (I never want to be a burden to anyone / more respectable I guess!)...Meantime I'm having a time of my life!
Offcourse I have other investments back at home that can be tweeked as & when required & in the end I would like to die alone too!

manwonder. wrote:

As for me I think "Nothing" Lasts forever (omo),

Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.  All we are is dust in the wind.  Uh oh Toto, looks like we are in Kansas!l

manwonder wrote:

lasvegan wrote:

Lucky you! I hope it lasts forever!

Moonunit 0103, I think you are a nice guy and I too wish you the very best!

As for me the Philippines is probably the only English speaking SEA country nearest to my home base, that does not frown on a much older (non filty rich) man living in with a very much younger woman (>25) + Its a cheap retirement home where I get to stretch my retirement funds /savings.
As for me I think "Nothing" Lasts forever (omo), and I am willing to just walk away with nothing when things don't go as planned! (I never want to be a burden to anyone / more respectable I guess!)...Meantime I'm having a time of my life!
Offcourse I have other investments back at home that can be tweeked as & when required & in the end I would like to die alone too!

I agree it is a great place for an English speaking to visit/live.  I am 61, my wife is 32.   We are awaiting her Visa interview in Manila, whenever it opens up.  I will be. Curious about the reactions of people when we are in the US.  I need to have cochlear implant surgery both ears, and my insurance will cover it in the US.

I have been living in her parents' 4 Bedroom home. We have the upstairs to ourselves, and they have liked me staying with them.  Before we leave, I may buy 2-3 hectares of land as an investment, with the possibility of having a small farm in the future.

Right now, my expenses are pretty low, maybe spending less than half my Social Security check.  Would like to travel some, but the GCQ has kept us home.

mugtech wrote:

manwonder. wrote:

As for me I think "Nothing" Lasts forever (omo),

Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.  All we are is dust in the wind.  Uh oh Toto, looks like we are in Kansas!l

Now you got this song in my head.
Ok Google... Play dust in the wind.

moonunit0103 wrote:

lasvegan wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

Hi,

Before I get started, I know that opinions are like azzholes, everyone has one.  That being said, there are a few things I have learned over the past two years since I decided to visit the Philippines.  Keep in mind I was looking for a girlfriend, possibly marriage, not a horizontal encounter.

1.  If you are looking for a good woman who will be a good wife, make sure you stay away from the bars and sleazy areas of town.  You will not meet good virtuous women there, and you might get an STD. And, Ho's don't make good housewives.

2.  Unless you have a passport and an upcoming flight, stay off the dating sites.  90% of profiles on filipinocupid.com and [link moderated] are scammers.  Some are ladyboys.  I did not do the video chatting, just texting and swapped some photos.  Keeps things friendly. Seeing a cutie on video can tug on heartstrings, so I avoided it.

3.  If you are on a dating site, and after a few chats, they start lamenting about needing load, money for their dog's surgery, grandma's funeral, etc., BLOCK THEM. There are millions who are honest and will never ask for money. And, NEVER SEND MONEY TO SOMEONE YOU HAVE NEVER MET PERSONALLY.

4. For myself, I  had an age range in mind and preferred an RN or a teacher.  This helped me narrow down the field somewhat.  Their level of English fluency is generally better, since many college classes are taught in English.

5.  Having had stepkids from a previous marriage, there is very little upside, mostly things which are really annoying.  So, no single moms for me.  No baby daddys to worry with, either.

6.  Things are traditional here, where the man is the head of the house.  The expat is the prize here in the Philippines, so you need to be a leader and the Filipina will respect and admire you.  Good reading is "The Rational Male", by Rollo Tomassi.  Rich Cooper's YT channel is also very good.

7.  Many Churches here have services in English, with familiar songs and hymns.  It is a good place to look for a nice girl.

8. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.  If you do some chatting, make sure you have a backup plan in case you get ghosted or don't click with the lady you are mainly interested in.  And, if things don't feel right within a few weeks, MOVE ON.  There are other fishes in the sea.

9.  Another thing I looked for was that she was raised by both parents and they are still together.  If the father is absent, the woman may have Daddy Issues......

10.  If the woman is constantly glued to her smartphone, NEXT!!!!!   It is really bad in the Philippines, now that all teens have these things, but it is extremely addictive for all ages, as well.

11.  Take your time.  It takes a year or more to get to know a person.  I have made the mistake in the past of going too fast, and regretted it.  Usually, I have found the surprises to not be good ones. 


Feel free to comment or add to my list, which are some random thoughts.  Hope someone finds this helpful.

Nicely put! I will add some points later! This is important stuff so I want to be sure how to word it! But for now the one thing that people who have not been in the Philippines for at least a year you need to know that your way of thinking does not work here at all!!! You will often not understand even the simplest of things! Until you learn how a filipino thinks and the culture it is based on you are in big dodo! for example, if you say to a Filipina "I really like you" what she heard was "I really like you and want to marry you&quot

Right on that!!!  Patience is something to have.  Waiting in long lines is typical.  Since I live in Ormoc City, Leyte, my experience differs from those in Manila or Cebu.  The people are very gentle, sweet, enjoy karaoke and dancing, and are the most devout Catholics I have encountered. 

My list was not organized,but came to me as I was typing. 

A woman I had chatted on FC told me she was in love with a guy from Croatia and that they chatted twice a day for 2 years.  I asked her when did she last see him, she said they had never met in person!! I told her she was in love with the idea of a person, since they had never actually met.  This seems to be common.   That is why texting and swapping photos might be best.

#12. You should sniff her hair like Uncle Joe Biden... That gives you the feel if she´s mating material
right away. 

mugtech wrote:

manwonder. wrote:

As for me I think "Nothing" Lasts forever (omo),

Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.  All we are is dust in the wind.  Uh oh Toto, looks like we are in Kansas!l

Ah the melody reminds me the days when I was young and in love. What a song... It does bring
great memories of the past!

"for example, if you say to a Filipina "I really like you" what she heard was "I really like you and want to marry you"

Well, that makes the job easier for us expats. She can always propose kneeling down! 

"Funny thing, my second choice got married to an American much older than me and when she got to the USA they gave me a call, was in touch for 10 years until he died."

And do you know if she came back to the Philippines or remained in the US?

robal wrote:

#12. You should sniff her hair like Uncle Joe Biden... That gives you the feel if she´s mating material
right away. 

#13. Meet a girl through your friendly neighborhood mama-san and have your lawyer pay her 130k. At this rate, you can ask her whatever you wish. 😵

robal wrote:

"Funny thing, my second choice got married to an American much older than me and when she got to the USA they gave me a call, was in touch for 10 years until he died."

And do you know if she came back to the Philippines or remained in the US?

She remained in Elkart, Indiana, married an American more her age.

mugtech wrote:

robal wrote:

"Funny thing, my second choice got married to an American much older than me and when she got to the USA they gave me a call, was in touch for 10 years until he died."

And do you know if she came back to the Philippines or remained in the US?

She remained in Elkart, Indiana, married an American more her age.

Wow, what a story...

Yup...pretty young CT woman do have an 'Edge' where ever they go!
If you have a son/sons pse warn them of the possible dangers of entrapment!

Most of the things on your list seem reasonable, although I must admit, chatting up a woman in a church is a new one on me.
I have visited the Philippines 4 times and had 4 relationships, all of these women I met on Face Book. I now have found a lovely lady who I visited last May and we still chat on Face Book every day. Unexpectedly and because I failed to use a condom, she fell pregnant and we now have a three month old baby girl who is absolutely lovely. My girlfriend sends me pictures and videos of our daughter every day and she is a very loving and wonderful lady.
The problem I have is Face Book can become quite addictive and I have chatted to other women  and some of them also want to meet me, two from Vietnam, one from Thailand and two other Filipinos.

I really want to be faithful as I know my current girlfriend is honest, she owns a small store selling basic foods and never asks me for money, although I do obviously send her some for our daughter.

My point is that not putting all your eggs in one basket can also lead to complications and it is difficult not to be tempted to cheat, even when you have found the right woman.

Cherryann01 wrote:

Most of the things on your list seem reasonable, although I must admit, chatting up a woman in a church is a new one on me.
I have visited the Philippines 4 times and had 4 relationships, all of these women I met on Face Book. I now have found a lovely lady who I visited last May and we still chat on Face Book every day. Unexpectedly and because I failed to use a condom, she fell pregnant and we now have a three month old baby girl who is absolutely lovely. My girlfriend sends me pictures and videos of our daughter every day and she is a very loving and wonderful lady.
The problem I have is Face Book can become quite addictive and I have chatted to other women  and some of them also want to meet me, two from Vietnam, one from Thailand and two other Filipinos.

I really want to be faithful as I know my current girlfriend is honest, she owns a small store selling basic foods and never asks me for money, although I do obviously send her some for our daughter.

My point is that not putting all your eggs in one basket can also lead to complications and it is difficult not to be tempted to cheat, even when you have found the right woman.

Perhaps you need a 12 step program for Facebook.  Probably got to just quit or forget about your woman and your child.  Not easy, but half measures will avail you nothing.

moonunit0103 wrote:

manwonder wrote:

lasvegan wrote:

Lucky you! I hope it lasts forever!

Moonunit 0103, I think you are a nice guy and I too wish you the very best!

As for me the Philippines is probably the only English speaking SEA country nearest to my home base, that does not frown on a much older (non filty rich) man living in with a very much younger woman (>25) + Its a cheap retirement home where I get to stretch my retirement funds /savings.
As for me I think "Nothing" Lasts forever (omo), and I am willing to just walk away with nothing when things don't go as planned! (I never want to be a burden to anyone / more respectable I guess!)...Meantime I'm having a time of my life!
Offcourse I have other investments back at home that can be tweeked as & when required & in the end I would like to die alone too!

I agree it is a great place for an English speaking to visit/live.  I am 61, my wife is 32.   We are awaiting her Visa interview in Manila, whenever it opens up.  I will be. Curious about the reactions of people when we are in the US.  I need to have cochlear implant surgery both ears, and my insurance will cover it in the US.

I have been living in her parents' 4 Bedroom home. We have the upstairs to ourselves, and they have liked me staying with them.  Before we leave, I may buy 2-3 hectares of land as an investment, with the possibility of having a small farm in the future.

Right now, my expenses are pretty low, maybe spending less than half my Social Security check.  Would like to travel some, but the GCQ has kept us home.

You might want to wait on that land purchase for two reasons. If in her name, you could lose it. Also land prices should come down in this  COVID-19 economy.

Cherryann01 wrote:

I have visited the Philippines 4 times and had 4 relationships, all of these women I met on Face Book.

Unexpectedly and because I failed to use a condom, she fell pregnant and we now have a three month old baby girl who is absolutely lovely.

The problem I have is Face Book can become quite addictive and I have chatted to other women  and some of them also want to meet me, two from Vietnam, one from Thailand and two other Filipinos.

I really want to be faithful

Somebody help me, is today April 1st? Is Cherryann01 real? 

This guys story belongs on TLC 90 Day Fiance' over & over.

Why does this story keep repeating itself over and over with a different cast of characters?  I'm surprised the other three women didn't have quadruplets  by Cherryann01.

Stay tuned for the next chapter of two women from Vietnam, one from Thailand and two more from the Philippines all getting pregnant.

Cherryann01 wrote:

Most of the things on your list seem reasonable, although I must admit, chatting up a woman in a church is a new one on me.
I have visited the Philippines 4 times and had 4 relationships, all of these women I met on Face Book. I now have found a lovely lady who I visited last May and we still chat on Face Book every day. Unexpectedly and because I failed to use a condom, she fell pregnant and we now have a three month old baby girl who is absolutely lovely. My girlfriend sends me pictures and videos of our daughter every day and she is a very loving and wonderful lady.
The problem I have is Face Book can become quite addictive and I have chatted to other women  and some of them also want to meet me, two from Vietnam, one from Thailand and two other Filipinos.

I really want to be faithful as I know my current girlfriend is honest, she owns a small store selling basic foods and never asks me for money, although I do obviously send her some for our daughter.

My point is that not putting all your eggs in one basket can also lead to complications and it is difficult not to be tempted to cheat, even when you have found the right woman.

I had a moment of clarity after meeting my now-wife, was how many women did I need.  There wasn't pressure from her for me to commit, but things were going well, so I decided to ghost the other women I had chatted with. 

Being you have a baby, it would simplify things if you did likewise, unless you want a Haram.

Are you video chatting?  I think it is easy to develop feelings and attraction when video chatting.  That is why I mainly texted and swapped photos.

PS:. Met an expat on the Cebu Oceanjet ferry whose wife left him for 10 days, and 9 months later had a baby that definitely was not his.

And he stayed, and is raising the kid as his own!!!  And, he is paying for his confirmed cheating wife to go to college. Probably still getting some horizontal education.  YMMV.

mugtech wrote:

Cherryann01 wrote:

Most of the things on your list seem reasonable, although I must admit, chatting up a woman in a church is a new one on me.
I have visited the Philippines 4 times and had 4 relationships, all of these women I met on Face Book. I now have found a lovely lady who I visited last May and we still chat on Face Book every day. Unexpectedly and because I failed to use a condom, she fell pregnant and we now have a three month old baby girl who is absolutely lovely. My girlfriend sends me pictures and videos of our daughter every day and she is a very loving and wonderful lady.
The problem I have is Face Book can become quite addictive and I have chatted to other women  and some of them also want to meet me, two from Vietnam, one from Thailand and two other Filipinos.

I really want to be faithful as I know my current girlfriend is honest, she owns a small store selling basic foods and never asks me for money, although I do obviously send her some for our daughter.

My point is that not putting all your eggs in one basket can also lead to complications and it is difficult not to be tempted to cheat, even when you have found the right woman.

Perhaps you need a 12 step program for Facebook.  Probably got to just quit or forget about your woman and your child.  Not easy, but half measures will avail you nothing.

I would quit all and concentrate on my new family. I learned that big lesson in life. Like Mugtech said, you should not spread yourself too thin resulting to a very poor performance or outcome. I would concentrate all the needed dedication to the deserving, no division. Doing otherwise would only hurt yourself and other people involved!

robal

Cherryann01 wrote:

Most of the things on your list seem reasonable, although I must admit, chatting up a woman in a church is a new one on me.
I have visited the Philippines 4 times and had 4 relationships, all of these women I met on Face Book. I now have found a lovely lady who I visited last May and we still chat on Face Book every day. Unexpectedly and because I failed to use a condom, she fell pregnant and we now have a three month old baby girl who is absolutely lovely. My girlfriend sends me pictures and videos of our daughter every day and she is a very loving and wonderful lady.
The problem I have is Face Book can become quite addictive and I have chatted to other women  and some of them also want to meet me, two from Vietnam, one from Thailand and two other Filipinos.

I really want to be faithful as I know my current girlfriend is honest, she owns a small store selling basic foods and never asks me for money, although I do obviously send her some for our daughter.

My point is that not putting all your eggs in one basket can also lead to complications and it is difficult not to be tempted to cheat, even when you have found the right woman.

I notice how you refer to them as your daughter and girlfriend! She's not your girlfriend!! She's the mother of your child! I think! If you haven't done a paternity test you're just plain stupid! But if you know for a fact this is your daughter then close your damn Facebook account and write your daughter a letter explaining how she can't have a two parent family and a doting loving caring father! Be sure to tell her that the draw to cheat is stronger then your love for her or her mother! Your thinking is all about you and your inner turmoil! This is a family crisis! Your family and what's worse is the Asian women expect the man to be the leader of the family to be strong for them and protect them! I'm not telling you what to do but try a different way of seeing all of this! See the Truth! Stop being her trophy and be a husband and father! I truely hope for the best for you and your family! Now earn their love and respect! Good Luck and God bless