Expat Just Bought House, Young Wife Possible Problem

Jackson4 wrote:

The issue may just be an imperfect communication. Given their very different cultures and generation, there may just be a gap in how one expresses their message. They need each other, I am guessing the 'girl' needed the long term financial security, the old man needed a companion and fire in his.....ummmm.... life.
What's stopping him from visiting the new house if it in the same barangay? What's going to happen if the 'girl' gets mad? Make up activity (s.3.x) is fun too.
Since he is putting out all the money, I think the old man need to assert some of his rights with caution.
He should get a lease contract on the land the house is on since he cannot own the land.
He should not be the only one bending over.

Yes communication is key in any relationship, sad situation for this guy. Perhaps he can't visit the property because of his age over 60 and she is enforcing that for his wellbeing or her own agenda, we are not there and don't know what is really transpiring.
Husband and wife cannot lease from each other as they are considered one entity under Filipino law, that's how I understand it but may be wrong.

Cheers, Steve.

Jackson4 wrote:

The issue may just be an imperfect communication. Given their very different cultures and generation, there may just be a gap in how one expresses their message. They need each other, I am guessing the 'girl' needed the long term financial security, the old man needed a companion and fire in his.....ummmm.... life.
What's stopping him from visiting the new house if it in the same barangay? What's going to happen if the 'girl' gets mad? Make up activity (s.3.x) is fun too.
Since he is putting out all the money, I think the old man need to assert some of his rights with caution.
He should get a lease contract on the land the house is on since he cannot own the land.
He should not be the only one bending over.

Same city, different barangay.  He gave her his debit card.  I have made suggestions that he grow a set, but he is still afraid to assert himself.  A bad case of "one-itis".  I told him there are plenty of other fish in the sea and that he is the prize, not her.  If he pulled the funds, she could not pay the electric/water bills on the house.  Move back to the province and slop the pigs.

Its to love something more than a pig loves slops!

Hi Moonunit0103

Before I comment I like to be sure about things. Words have meaning now did you say “NOT CLEAR”?  If you did then I'm going to help you out. I'm fairly sure you believe you're in the Philippines at this moment. If you're not clear still it's because you are actually living in the Twilight Zone.  Tell your friend to stop the flow of money that she has access to. Soon he'll stroll over there only to find her living with the real husband & their kids. That you can be clear on.  Be safe with the virus it's no joke

WTF are you talking about???? Do you always speak in riddles?

arty5987 wrote:

WTF are you talking about???? Do you always speak in riddles?

Reference to the first post. No riddles in what he said.

Who cares what you think?  The fool wants a riddle so here it is.

I don't have eyes, but once I did see. Once I had thoughts, but now I'm white and empty. What am I?

Out of the 27 that responded 14 of you answered the same  “Arty5987”  I followed your line of thinking but that's way to much credit to give him.  Two were right “THE SKULL 💀 now you may be on to something the empty skull no brain give Arty a big round of applause.

Whatever that means & I'll pass it on to whoever you intended it for.

The man did,nt makes his homework. You can,t trust anybody. Also not in the Philippines.
If had asked information, some people could give him advice.
I bought alot and build a hose for my girlfriend. But we make a lease contract by an official notarial layer. And the restrictions as long as I live she or here children could not sell the house and I can stay in the house over 25 years. Also I take care  for my own pension. She can,t come to my money.

Wilhelm van der Kolk wrote:

I bought alot and build a hose for my girlfriend.

Why did you have to build her a hose, were there none available?

Been chatting with the neighbor-to-be on FB
Messenger. I told him the malls were open in Ormoc, and it is OK to be out, wearing a mask and social distancing.  I even offered to pick him up in my truck, but he turned me down.

He said he couldn't leave his apartment because his wife said he would be arrested if he did.  He also said that his wife told him his debit card did not work at an ATM machine!!!

I haven't been to his apartment, but he says he has been sleeping on the floor since December, has 2 other kids staying with them and her daughter, no loving since he came back in December.   

Wife has a Mio and comes and goes as she pleases, a pile of bikes at the house.  But, she will not tell him what is being done to the house.

No need to watch a telenovela on TV when this is happening in real life in front of me.

Wilhelm van der Kolk wrote:

The man did,nt makes his homework. You can,t trust anybody. Also not in the Philippines.
If had asked information, some people could give him advice.
I bought alot and build a hose for my girlfriend. But we make a lease contract by an official notarial layer. And the restrictions as long as I live she or here children could not sell the house and I can stay in the house over 25 years. Also I take care  for my own pension. She can,t come to my money.

Sad that things are the way they are, but, in the end, if you don't protect yourself, who will?

The lease is a good idea.

mugtech wrote:

Wilhelm van der Kolk wrote:

I bought alot and build a hose for my girlfriend.

Why did you have to build her a hose, were there none available?

Mugtech. . . .You forgot about the notarial layer, ****

My apologies to Wilhelm, nothing personal, I realize English is not your first language.

moonunit0103 wrote:

Been chatting with the neighbor-to-be on FB
Messenger. I told him the malls were open in Ormoc, and it is OK to be out, wearing a mask and social distancing.  I even offered to pick him up in my truck, but he turned me down.

He said he couldn't leave his apartment because his wife said he would be arrested if he did.  He also said that his wife told him his debit card did not work at an ATM machine!!!

I haven't been to his apartment, but he says he has been sleeping on the floor since December, has 2 other kids staying with them and her daughter, no loving since he came back in December.   

Wife has a Mio and comes and goes as she pleases, a pile of bikes at the house.  But, she will not tell him what is being done to the house.

No need to watch a telenovela on TV when this is happening in real life in front of me.

The DEBIT card did not work at an ATM machine!!!...means the bank account has already been emptied or someone has cancelled the card.
Looks like he may have a severe form of depression (medical condition)
Poor chap!

Wilhelm van der Kolk wrote:

The man did,nt makes his homework. You can,t trust anybody. Also not in the Philippines.
If had asked information, some people could give him advice.
I bought alot and build a hose for my girlfriend. But we make a lease contract by an official notarial layer. And the restrictions as long as I live she or here children could not sell the house and I can stay in the house over 25 years. Also I take care  for my own pension. She can,t come to my money.

..ooops

manwonder wrote:

The DEBIT card did not work at an ATM machine!!!...means the bank account has already been emptied or someone has cancelled the card.
Looks like he may have a severe form of depression (medical condition)
Poor chap!

More than likely the pin # was changed on the card. If the account is in her name he is "SOL".

you can't fix stupid just hide and watch the show as she bleeds him dry

I,m not married. And I,m from Holland.

What happened then? Your situation is not isolated but you have to give more details. Base on your story, it looks like you were conned by your girlfriend and her notary public/lawyer. A lot of unknown or unsuccessful lawyers here do accept bribes through illegal notarization and that is their only bread and butter. I've been  living here for almost 15 years now and i have seen enough shit.
Best bet is go to your EMBASSY  and ask for whatever help they can do Or hire a reputable private detective to dig the paper trails.

Good Luck Brother

W9XR wrote:

mugtech wrote:

Wilhelm van der Kolk wrote:

I bought alot and build a hose for my girlfriend.

Why did you have to build her a hose, were there none available?

Mugtech. . . .You forgot about the notarial layer, did he witness the consummation of the marriage on the wedding night? Can I view it on Pornhub?

My apologies to Wilhelm, nothing personal, I realize English is not your first language.

I think he meant lawyer, not layer.  ****

Hello everyone,

Please note that some inappropriate and off-topic posts have been removed.

Thanks,

Cheryl
Team Expat.com

Uh-oh. Debit card does not work?
Money is going to run out even for moonunit0103's friend. 💸
First, no honey. Now, no money.

Uh-oh....No Stimulus allowed!

https://www.todayonline.com/world/puppy … g-lockdown

He is 64 and could be suffering from lonliness/depression (I still think he may need medical attention/or the next best will be a man's best friend!)

Beware Scammers are everywhere!

manwonder wrote:

https://www.todayonline.com/world/puppy-scammers-target-lonely-aussies-during-lockdown

He is 64 and could be suffering from lonliness/depression (I still think he may need medical attention/or the next best will be a man's best friend!)

Beware Scammers are everywhere!

.
Have you seen my puppy? 😂

Jackson4 wrote:

Uh-oh. Debit card does not work?
Money is going to run out even for moonunit0103's friend. 💸
First, no honey. Now, no money.

I think the ATM had run out of money, but the fact she has his card and is spending his money unchecked is alarming.

Jackson4 wrote:

manwonder wrote:

https://www.todayonline.com/world/puppy-scammers-target-lonely-aussies-during-lockdown

He is 64 and could be suffering from lonliness/depression (I still think he may need medical attention/or the next best will be a man's best friend!)

Beware Scammers are everywhere!

.
Have you seen my puppy? 😂

An Askal will never ever scam you & will always remain faithful/grateful!

moonunit0103 wrote:

Jackson4 wrote:

Uh-oh. Debit card does not work?
Money is going to run out even for moonunit0103's friend. 💸
First, no honey. Now, no money.

I think the ATM had run out of money, but the fact she has his card and is spending his money unchecked is alarming.

Unbelievable.. how can the guy be so naive?

You,r right.

pnwcyclist wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

Jackson4 wrote:

Uh-oh. Debit card does not work?
Money is going to run out even for moonunit0103's friend. 💸
First, no honey. Now, no money.

I think the ATM had run out of money, but the fact she has his card and is spending his money unchecked is alarming.

Unbelievable.. how can the guy be so naive?

Snapping turtle is a rare delicacy for some.

pnwcyclist wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

Jackson4 wrote:

Uh-oh. Debit card does not work?
Money is going to run out even for moonunit0103's friend. 💸
First, no honey. Now, no money.

I think the ATM had run out of money, but the fact she has his card and is spending his money unchecked is alarming.

Unbelievable.. how can the guy be so naive?

He married a 28-year-olld girl and expected it was love, didn't he?

One time, a foreigner client  and his obviously much younger and pretty wife came to my office. The wife's younger brother was also with them. The foreigner was big and fat, probably in his 60's. He was scolding the kid brother, in front of us, about not focusing on his studies. The kid probably felt embarrassed.

While the 2 guys were loading their purchase in his SUV, the wife quietly told us that her husband was domineering. The husband had to approve every little purchase. She said she was scolded for buying a few curtains for the house while he was still in the states.  After they all left, one of my workers muttered, "Wait till he gets a stroke or a heart attack."

Moonunit0103 and to all you out there who still have control of your finances (or think you do) with your much younger Filipino woman, take care of yourselves. Exercise. Eat healthy. Get in shape. Don't forget to take your maintenance meds.

Maybe you can write a book about the expat neighbor and his wife. Love In The Time of Covid-19. Might become a best seller for expats. Or maybe not, because the main plot will be about the wife's relationship with the young secret boyfriend and their trysts. And the expat is just a minor character / sub-plot.

FilAmericanMom wrote:

One time, a foreigner client  and his obviously much younger and pretty wife came to my office.

The foreigner was big and fat, probably in his 60's.

the wife quietly told us that her husband was domineering. The husband had to approve every little purchase. She said she was scolded for buying a few curtains for the house while he was still in the states. 

Moonunit0103 and to all you out there who still have control of your finances (or think you do) with your much younger Filipino woman, take care of yourselves.

because the main plot will be about the wife's relationship with the young secret boyfriend and their trysts. And the expat is just a minor character / sub-plot.

The extracts (out of context) from FilAmericanMom, are done by me.

Without regard to political correctness, I will delve into a taboo subject which has been avoided because there are some on this forum that it resembles.

The three most important things in a relationship/marriage succeeding are Culture, Language and Borders.

What chance of success for the long term, practically nil unless both parties accept the outcome in the future.

A good deal is when both parties are happy with the arrangement. In the beginning both parties are happy.

"HE"  gets a young, hot, sex toy or slave, submissive  woman.

"SHE"  gets security for herself and family.

"HE" is lovesick and goes to lonely hearts websites that cater to his dreams.

"SHE" lists herself on these websites trolling for a ? ? ? she can reel in.

(What are the motives for "HE" and what are the motives for "SHE")

This May/December relationship is wonderful in the beginning and starts drifting apart shortly there after and this is confirmed by many studies without the handicap of a different Culture, Language and Border. 

It's only a matter of time, if it gets this far, that she becomes a caregiver. Once one or the other or both realize this relationship is in the shambles, both try to cover their rear ends, except it's too late for him.

Winners & losers, she the winner and he the loser. What makes him the loser, because he will hang on beyond common sense.

I never heard of an educated successful Expat meeting an educated successful Filipina on a lonely hearts website, unless she is fishing for a green card and a trip to the states.

While I certainly hear what you say W9XR, it is not the same for all and while I had a few duds eventually found a winner like most here. The sad stories we all see and hear are really self perpetuated,  (if that's the right word) whether lust or simple ignorance and as the old saying goes "more fool them".
I have seen many posts like these over the years and often wonder how some of these guys survived in their own countries let alone foreign. The touch of a girl or guy while nice does not put food on the table. Basics and the Filipino people know precisely how it works.

Cheers, Steve.

W9XR wrote:

Exactly its all about your rear end...
both try to cover their rear ends, except it's too late for him.

(For him as its because he failed to plan for an exit strategy!)
You always need an exit strategy!

An organisation or individual without an exit strategy may be in a quagmire.

Just saying

manwonder wrote:

W9XR wrote:

Exactly its all about your rear end...
both try to cover their rear ends, except it's too late for him.

(For him as its because he failed to plan for an exit strategy!)
You always need an exit strategy!

An organisation or individual without an exit strategy may be in a quagmire.

Just saying

Hard to have an exit strategy when the hotels are closed and renters will not rent to expats, due to CV19 lockdown.

moonunit0103 wrote:

manwonder wrote:

W9XR wrote:

Exactly its all about your rear end...
both try to cover their rear ends, except it's too late for him.

(For him as its because he failed to plan for an exit strategy!)
You always need an exit strategy!

An organisation or individual without an exit strategy may be in a quagmire.

Just saying

Hard to have an exit strategy when the hotels are closed and renters will not rent to expats, due to CV19 lockdown.

Hard but possible!...Maybe not in a centrally located hotel, but i'm sure in some other not so trendy locations!...People still love the sight/smell of the freshly baked forever crispy USD...yum yum!

Just Saying

manwonder wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

manwonder wrote:

(For him as its because he failed to plan for an exit strategy!)
You always need an exit strategy!

An organisation or individual without an exit strategy may be in a quagmire.

Just saying

Hard to have an exit strategy when the hotels are closed and renters will not rent to expats, due to CV19 lockdown.

Hard but possible!...Maybe not in a centrally located hotel, but i'm sure in some other not so trendy locations!...People still love the sight/smell of the freshly baked forever crispy USD...yum yum!

Just Saying

Told him he could bunk out at my house if he needed, but he needs to figure it out for himself, it seems.

moonunit0103 wrote:

manwonder wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

Hard to have an exit strategy when the hotels are closed and renters will not rent to expats, due to CV19 lockdown.

Hard but possible!...Maybe not in a centrally located hotel, but i'm sure in some other not so trendy locations!...People still love the sight/smell of the freshly baked forever crispy USD...yum yum!

Just Saying

Told him he could bunk out at my house if he needed, but he needs to figure it out for himself, it seems.

I know it can be boring under quarantine. But to invite drama into your own house would be a bridge to far for me.

Lat61 wrote:

moonunit0103 wrote:

manwonder wrote:

Hard but possible!...Maybe not in a centrally located hotel, but i'm sure in some other not so trendy locations!...People still love the sight/smell of the freshly baked forever crispy USD...yum yum!

Just Saying

Told him he could bunk out at my house if he needed, but he needs to figure it out for himself, it seems.

I know it can be boring under quarantine. But to invite drama into your own house would be a bridge to far for me.

If hotels were open, I wouldn't have made the offer.  I feel sad for him, since my wife and I are inseparable and really enjoy each other.  I cannot imagine being in his situation.