Loneliness when you're abroad

All depends on how you fit yourself into a new environment. Loneliness can overcome by making new friends, searching new places and restaurants.

Hi Nicole I am Denise and I have seen a few of your blogs. I am hoping to live in Sharm el Sheikh I already have a property there but I would need a job, do you know if a job is easy to come by, I am a Nurse hear in England but I am not looking for a nursing job in Sharm, I am pretty good at sorting out problems so I thought maybe working in a hotel the down side is that I only speak English.

I have to sell up in England first so I am hoping within the next 22 months to be living in Sharm, Im wondering what happens if I can't get a job as I need to work to pay for food etc would they kick you out of the country.  I would have beautiful sunshine instead of the rain. I am not at retirement age just yet so I would not get any pension.

I am also direct and I think maybe it does put most people off being a friend, however saying that my friends hear in England are true friends. I hope you would like to write to me and any information you could give me would be great, I do work silly hours but I would get back to you, I look forward to hearing from you soon. Denise

Hello Denise,

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Please note that the title of this thread Loneliness when you're abroad

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find a new friends, talking about everything and make u laugh. or if u feel loneliness in Indonesia, come to Bandung. many friends here. we can doing "Ngopi bareng" (coffee time in cafe), going to billiard games, karaoke, and relax in our spa and salon. see... there is no such thing as lonely or feel alone if you have a friend. like as i do, i'm alone also, all my family in Surabaya city but i don't want loneliness virus come to me.

chaiyo..

yes .when I feel lonely .I turn on my laptop. go to my home countery media website and watch live programs..

Dear all,
everywhere in the world you will feel lonely if you are expat.
Solutions are very few:
you have to find friends close to you, maybe from your country.
you have to subscribe to activities like gym and swimming pool.
and so on.

I am living in Khartoum, Sudan, and first it was not easy.
Later on I adapt everything, and now I cant find time to rest.

Take care.

Jimmy1973 wrote:

Dear all,
everywhere in the world you will feel lonely if you are expat.
Solutions are very few:
you have to find friends close to you, maybe from your country.
you have to subscribe to activities like gym and swimming pool.
and so on.

I am living in Khartoum, Sudan, and first it was not easy.
Later on I adapt everything, and now I cant find time to rest.

Take care.

The feeling of loneliness is all in the mind 
Disagree  with the idea that as an expat you will always feel lonely
Best to mix with locals rather than other expats
You need to get out and about so locals are the best way of doing that

I lived and worked in South Sudan for 3 years and never felt lonely

Loneliness is a state of mind. You can be lonely with a group of people or even within a bad marriage. I remember reading a great quote on that very subject - loneliness within a marriage. She said:

"Watching the back of his head reading a newspaper and hearing him breathe at night in bed made me feel lonelier than any spinster".

We have to adapt to our surroundings. I love being in Egypt, I love waking up to the sound of the call to prayer from the local mosque. I love the sunshine and the endless clear blue sky. I love discovering a great little cafe or restaurant in some bustling back street

. I love the peace of the early morning which enables me to read. I slow down when here, dance to a different rhythm, I never read a newspaper and do not feel the need to be logging on to the internet or reading texts as we do in the UK .

Within this slower pace of life I feel a lot less lonely than when in a bustling European city where everyone is glued to their cellphones and  fingers constantly tapping away at phone keypads,  and conversation seem to be a thing of the past because people are so obsessed with and umbilcally attached to their cellphones kindles, and notepads.

Hi there!

Wow, what a large number of replies, this must be the nr.1 topic ever.......!     

I have lived in Portugal and I have never felt lonely for one day, so 100 points to the Portuguese people! Because I think the people can make a difference...........

All the best!

Hi Sander,

I do know what you mean about Portugal, I have been to Lisbon, what a beautiful city, people tend to live outside and integrate. Just like in Italy you see three generations of families sitting outside of cafes in the evening, eating ice cream or having coffee or a drink, grandmothers grandchildren. You get the feeling that families spend most of their lives outdoors due to the great climate but you see all of the family not just the men as you see in Egypt.. The Portugese and Italians are very friendly  outgoing and welcoming.

In Egypt however I have yet to see a local female sit in a coffee shop which appear to be 'men only' zones. Men go there to meet their men friends, drink tea, smoke and they smoke like chimneys, everyone smokes here and puffs on shisha pipes, they congregate and speak in Arabic unlike Lisbon or Rome where you will never see their wives, girlfriends, daughters, grandmothers all engaging in community and social life.

Karnak wrote:

I love the peace of the early morning which enables me to read. I slow down when here, dance to a different rhythm, I never read a newspaper and do not feel the need to be logging on to the internet or reading texts as we do in the UK.

I think this is the true essence of a true, non-lonely expat!

work out, read and surf the web. And I'm thinking about getting a dog

Feeling lonely everyday.Trying to focus on work and makes my self busy.Spending my free time in net surfing

just think that if u were at home it's woold be worst and try to see the happiest thngs in ur life

Youtube can keep you entertained for hours. You don't think so right now but just think of something you find interesting, type it in the search bar and go from there. You will see that time flies.

it is just matter of time ..
things go normal sooner or later
so just chill out

At least i will find someone to make friend with..

Hi

Yes I did feel lonely when I am abroad,whether its in Europe or any other continent. In my opinion, its best to keep oneself engaged in the daily grind and then relax by socialising and going to Gyms. Also on weekends travel to some heritage sites and read the history, And keeping in touch with the family abroad is a must. Social networking is also an option

find an interesting book to read and find interesting chores to do when you feel lonely because loneliness is boring

hello po

I feel quite Isolated most of the time.  So far except for one British friend that really cares.
Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice.    A lot of Brits aren't very friendly sadly.

Yeah it happens, and, yes you can get over it.

For me, sports is something which will help me kill my time. And when you do that, you meet more people as well. Of course,not all of them will be very close buddies but you can often find someone who is as free as you top hangout with you for things like going for movies etc. etc..

harshuch wrote:

Yeah it happens, and, yes you can get over it.

For me, sports is something which will help me kill my time. And when you do that, you meet more people as well. Of course,not all of them will be very close buddies but you can often find someone who is as free as you top hangout with you for things like going for movies etc. etc..

I totally agree with you ,I am in Manila at the moment and just started taking tennis lessons and already I am sure I have met 12 or more people.
I am leaving next month to go back to Canada for the summer and will be returning October and will be definitely getting back into tennis when I return.

Yes, one can feel really lonely living abroad away from their loved ones and may take time to adapt to things. However, if we think positively we can always do things we like to keep ourselves busy by participating in various activities.  We should also take advantage of learning things to which we may not have easy access to back home. 

marmalade wrote:

This is something that Ive been struggling with lately, especially with the holidays coming up. This is my first time living abroad, and the longest Ive been away from home. Im very lucky in that I had friends living in Auckland when I got here, but there are many days when Im left at loose ends bc their lives are full with work and family (or they're just not in the mood to do things).

Im hoping that as time goes on I will meet more and more people and have the chance to get out and be more social.

Wow...Great.
That is really a positive attitude..
I really support your statement.
Even when I feel lonely, i just doesnt keep thinking about old friends bust time, i just go out and make new friends as time goes by.

One can kill loneliness by reading and practicing sports if he or she can.

yes

hello iv lived in my house for 42 years now know about 6 neighbours have no freinds left all died or moved on have family live 4 miles away son and three grandchildren he works 5 minuites away  away last seen over 12 months ago other family 1 mile away see daughter ....once a week ...mabe grandson ..single seldom go to local costa draw paint chat couple of hours a day ...try to talk to one guy 67 only reads war books nothiing else try to talk subjects falls asleep or picks a book up only words he knows are is getting colder or windy or going to rain ....conversation ..live ??? i get more on the web people i meet brazil russia france the UK ???? WAS GOOD ONCE TILL WIFE DIED THEN ALL DROPPED APART AND IV TRIED ALL WAYS   family freinds get on with there lives ...so at 80 this year can i be worse off comeing to live in bulgeria ???

Maxi101

I for one, at your age, would not make such a move as you are contemplating.
There would be language problems for a start. Then the hassles trying to find somewhere to live and organising your new life. No one to help you and this would be quite stressful to you.

Could you perhaps phone family and organise a get together at your place and then have a chat to them about perhaps doing that on a regular basis. Could you go and see them from time to time ??

I work away and sometimes do not get home to see family for 6 months or more but we chat most days by phone. Ask your family if they would mind you phoning from time to time. Are there any clubs or organisations locally you could join ??

Think things through. You would be worse off going to Bulgaria.

i drink lots whenever i feel lonely.

I don't worry about being lonely, I worry more about culture and employment. Also, I don't want to be stuck and feel like I can't leave. I plan to have children one day, so education would be an important factor.

thanks but at 80 years old iv done all that ...good luck to you

hi stumpy the phone call wont work at all .but thanks for the advice and i do see your points a lot and have taken note
id still like to be in walmer weather more....bit different i know but looking at where a lot of brits retire ...malta ...we will see any gen off anyone is very welcome best iv done at being away is liveing with a family in brazil for 3 months.

Check out the Malta section on this forum. Plenty of information there regarding moving etc.

allready have been doing yes lots info great site ..thanks

lonliness is killing everyone

yes it does

Loneliness is the biggest problem with being an expat. As you leave your old life and start a new one somewhere far away.
There are different types of loneliness, one of the most common problems even when moving as a family is having one spouse all busy with work while the other is "stuck" at home.
Try to find work that is interesting (even if it's not what you used to do). I know someone who was a software engineer and found work as a teachers aid. She was way overqualified, but it gave her interest and a way to meet plenty of new people.
There are many small online jobs that you can do, help others travel to you, invite friends to visit (now that they have a place to stay ;-))

Embrace the time as an expat, eventually when (and if) you go back, you will miss it.