Lonely expat in Patong

I have lived in Phuket for 2 years now. I moved here with a long term partner, who unfortunately decided he no longer wanted to continue our relationship after meeting a Thai woman.

We worked for the same company, so I decided it was best I left for my own sake as it was too painful to stay. I considered relocating to a new country, but was offered a new opportunity elsewhere in Phuket and decided I was not yet ready to leave this incredible country.

My new workplace has over 25 employees, and I am the only female. I knew this may be difficult, but I didn’t realise quite how isolating this would feel. Patong is full of people, but in the 3 months I’ve been here so far I am yet to make any serious friendships, especially with females. I am yet to meet a single female expat, and although I love male friendships, in this town they all seem to want one thing. I have searched for meet ups etc, but they are all miles from me and I am not yet that confident on my motorbike. All events in this area are parties, but I’d love to do something other than that.

I guess I am just feeling lonely. All of my work friends have partners, and like to just spend their time at home with them which I understand. I miss having girl chats, or friendships where we have a serious connection. I am finding this so much harder than I thought. Moving home or to another country is not an option as my dog is too ill to take with me. She was expected by vets to live just a few weeks, but 8 months later she’s still going strong.

I guess I would just love any advice, maybe even a little cheering up. I’m not someone who will sit at home and feel sorry for myself. I do keep busy in hopes I will meet other like minded people, but so far no luck. Everyone is on holiday, and as soon as we make a friendship, they leave most likely never to return. I now feel glued to my phone as that is the only way I have a social life. I have been on a few nights out on my own and met loads of fun people, but I hate that I have to drink alcohol to meet anyone.

How are you all feeling? I love being an expat here and don’t want to give it up yet. I just didn’t expect it would be this hard so many months into my relocation.

Hi Steff,

You aren't alone feeling that way..

Let me introduce myself - Harry from India. I am a finance and accounting consultant and moved here September last year. The first month went by quickly in finding a place to rent, getting adjusted to food and new work space.

Later on as I settled in and continued my usual routine, I started to feel lonely after work hours as everyone disappears into their own lives. Nobody seemed to care and find out how I was doing or did I need some local tips.

I came home to find myself lonely, my family is back home in India and visits me for sometime as my daughter has her academic year going on.

Guess that is enough said - don't mean to bog you down. But yes, the bright side being Bangkok is good. Has its own pros and cons but I am quite liking it here.

How is Patong? The weather, people the food..

Cheers
Harry

Hello Harry!

Lovely to meet you. It’s also surprising to hear that you feel a similar way. I almost feel guilty for not enjoying every moment in Thailand as some people could only dream of living here. But I guess, no matter where you are you need those connections with people.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re also lonely and I totally agree with your situation. My work friends too have their own lives and there is no space for anyone else. They don’t seem to realise how lonely I am, even though I have mentioned it. I don’t want to rely on them for my happiness, and have gone it alone this long trying to find my own friends away from work but it’s impossible when no one actually stays here long term.

If I were in Bangkok I would be sure to invite you for a coffee! You sound like an interesting person 😊 I do hope things get better for you. Living away from home can be so tough without a support network.

Patong so far has been pretty good. There is every type of food imaginable, and the weather has been great! Im a short drive away from an incredible beach, but it’s not the same on your own. It’s very busy, which i actually like because it makes me feel less alone. I know this area is not for everyone. It’s mostly for party people on holiday, but I like it for now.

How about Bangkok

Thanks again for reaching out. I really appreciate it.

Steff.

Hi Steff,

Thank you for sharing

I am a Singaporean native working and residing in Bangkok for almost 3 years. It's not too far from home (2 hour flight) so I do go home sometimes

I couldn't have planned for my dad's sudden demise couple of years back and my mum is all alone back home.

She sometimes visit me but she is not a big fan of Thailand.

I have a pet cat here and he keeps me company.

You're right, it's never easy and we must always find ways to move on in spite of our shortcomings and challenges. You sound very positive minded and I hope you continue to live life to the fullest.

I wish you nothing but success

Best,
jwny

Dear Steff,

I was a little upset reading your post as I understand what a burden loneliness can be.

I cannot offer you anything except someone to talk to.  I am married here in Thailand and have been for a long time.

If you think having someone to write to and [possibly] in the future talk to on Skype will help you please feel free to contact me.

Sorry to read about your dog.  I lost my Bang Kaew in November but have replaced him now.  Thai Bang Kaews are such a beautiful dog.

Kind Regards,

Keith

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