ExPat Fatigue

Hi Mark and Al,
No offence taken. I just thought you should know that expat fatigue affects a large percentage of expats and it's like an invisible ailment that affects your ability to enjoy your life while you are in the D.R.
I had never heard of it before this past winter. It was a very difficult 7 months down there.

i get it Steve...

I sold my Cdn prorperty last October....
My routine was ....

may/June - Canada
again Sept/Oct

Christmas / spring in Philadelphia
plus a fall trip maybe

Now... a stool w/ 2 (not 3 ) legs

KILLING me... short tempered isn't descriptive enough

I've been here for 3 months.  I think I'm understanding this expat fatigue.  I am lonely, I'm grouchy, I'm frustrated and am thinking I'll just take the next plane back to Canada. 
Its canada day and I have no canadian friends here and even very few Dominican friends.
I'm struggling to learn Spanish & am seeking online work.

I think I'm reaching out here. 
Anyone else feeling like this and want to get together mid to late in the week?

WillieWeb :

Happens a lot - I'd say

My cure is the airport....

There goes the winning post of the thread - If your life is making you unhappy, do something about changing it.

Don't worry, a sense of humor is mandatory here.

And it is a real thing.  Good link posted, thanks.  I have often said, those who can adapt have the easiest experience. Those who cannot are rarely happy and constantly struggle.

I have a friend, from  NJ...
he has a penthouse in the ZC with a view - very happy

A while back, he got fed up - missed his grandchildren, etc - and sais he was leaving
Bye bye penthouse...

we talked him off the proverbial ledge
advocating more trips back to participate more.... best of both worlds

He did that and is much happier now

Too long, too often can be be problematic for some --- me for one

What about a cruise ?
from here, from Miami, from NYC....nice week to 10 days away
food & room included !!

Each expat has to manage this need. I know some who are here 9 months,  leave for 3 months going around visiting family etc.   That works for them.  I have not left in 14 1/2 years.... no need or interest. That works for me.

I broached this subject last night - with a Dominican.
Said I was frustrated and needed a break from this life

The response ??
How do you think we feel??
But we can't leave !!!


True be that......
I often say - they're trapped....
so - they drink, are promiscuous... quite a list

Many have no TV - no Internet....

they see & know the 'other world'... but it's out of reach....unattainable

That must be horrendously frustrating.  You can see where many have given up hope. Others are happy with their lives. And yet others strive to have a different life.

They dream of getting out.... literally

They get in a rut like we cannot imagine
I feel for them

Can someone explain to me the life style. You have $50 you spend it all even on non necessities. Or maybe I just see the ones that do?!?!

Ha ha. Now we are trying to deflect to say Dominicans also have the fatigue.

I guess seeing expats grumbling who live a damn good life in comparison, they have more than plenty of reason to want out of the daily challenges of forging a living here. I dont deny some want out, but far from all.

Hey Dominicans are moving back home now on balance. See the plentiful of homes under construction from the remittances. See the joy on Dominican faces when returning here as I did this week. Home is home for whoever you are.

For expats it is where you choose, adapt and find peace.

DR is my choice after considering and living in many places and the home of my wife.

No one said or implied they all want out.  No one said they have expat fatigue.

Of course there are many Dominicans who are very happy. That does not mean they wouldnt  love a better life!

You are very correct that many see the expat lifestyle and are envious.  Do you not think they want what well off Dominicans have? Do you not think almost every little boy wants to be an MLB star and give his mom everything?

Also correct many Dominicans are coming back home.  Many I have spoken too left, made their money and came back to a better life in the country they love. Many are disillusioned and come home!  So yes that is their expat fatigue. They were Expats.

I don't see any issue discussing these two ideas in this thread.

11/11 ---- Lest We Forget

Many Ex-pats - foreign or Dominican - come here for the cost of living... as one factor

Sure.. weather, water, beach.... but affordable is surely high on the list
Those returning Dominicans won't have a million stashed away... and they know how to stretch their savings.

The paradox I was alluding to is that the country sees the news and TV showing what the outside is like,
but to them , it's unattainable...
for 2 reasons ... cost and visa worthiness

I find that sad in a lot of ways.
When my friend was talking to me.... it wasn't anger at all...just a statement of fact

As mentioned earlier cultural differences - stresses - are the leading cause of ex-pat failure. But, I've thought it must be reeeally hard for a Dominican to re-settle in the US. Much faster life style, sooo competitive, a language barrier many Americans are intolerant of, and rules, rules, and more rules. Just so overwhelming.
So, is it easier to slam on the brakes, like we do, or push the accelerator to the floor in a rat race. Depends on the individual to a large extent I would think. But I would choose to slam on the brakes at this point in my life, despite some of the frustrations  :0)

True -true...

I am amazed at the Dominicans that work in the USA..
we have several in my town who go to Nantucket for the summers

Their English is terrible to non-existent ....
no wonder they come back

Mind you - in Canada - when Hong Kong was exiting the British Empire
they FLED to Canada (Vancouver) with their British passports.

Bought BIG house... & knocked them down
to do the Feng Shue...whatever

Millions for the house.... millions more to rebuild
They destroyed the real estate market

Mercedes dealers sales went thru the roof

BUT --- BUT
they NEVER assimilated...
no English, their own schooling... totally separate

The men commuted back to HK to work

Same game - different place

Mind you, their exodus had different reasons
but still............

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