DOMINICAN SPY GIRL 😊

Hello, I am Dominican 35 born and raised. I have decided to write this reflection moved by the comments and other reflections that I have been reading since yesterday, some very curious and other funny, of Canadians who either live in Dominican Republic (DR) or are planning to move to DR. I will post it in some forums to make sure that the information reaches whoever is interested.

As I said at the beginning, I am Dominican, I love my country, it is a beautiful place, I have traveled its beaches, mountains, cities and small towns, etc. It is a diverse country in terms of landscapes and climate. However, I am planning to move to Canada and at this moment I am immersed in the immigration process, which as many may know is tedious and takes a lot of time for us given the number of requirements we must meet. I'm doing it with my own resources and I think by 2019 I'll be in Canada, but I'll talk later about why I decided to move out of DR.

Now, I decided to sign up on this website to see opinions of expat Latinos in Canada, then I thought it would be interesting to spy a little bit to see what Canadians think of us and / or why they want to leave Canada to live in DR. And reading the comments in different forums, I realize that for you here is not as easy as I imagined, you have your challenges too. It is true that there are many women and men interested only in money from foreigners and the family members of some of the locals see them as an ATM machine ( :lol:  I'm sorry, but I had not heard that expression before and it makes me laugh). Anyway, all that is true, but you guys want to know a secret? That also happens to us locals with our same people, yes, it happens frequently.

For those who are looking for love I would suggest that you do not look for it on the beach or tourist bars, instead, try to socialize with people who do not work in that environment of the tourism industry. I assure you that you will meet people who are not necessarily going to be behind the money or a visa, try to have your partner with academic preparation and stable work so that you can have a little more certainty that the person is not sitting waiting for you. to pay for everything.

Ok, here I have to pause ...

*** ATTENTION: THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR GIRLS ***
Girls, here men are VERY infidels, infidelity in DR is a national sport. Make sure that the person of your interest is really single, as many tell you that they are "separated" and / or waiting for the divorce declaration and they are not. Many tell you that they are single and sometimes they have a girlfriend and even a wife. Or many simply besides you, have at least 1 or 2 more. No matter that he already introduced you to his family, his mother, etc., because believe me when I tell you that many families and mothers support this kind of behavior without any respect or consideration, for many families it is normal and even celebrate it as a MACHO behavior, I hate this.  So, you know, check this out very well, you're probably going to need some ninja moves to be full inform  :top:
**********************************************
Let’s continue ...

These places: Las Terrenas, Cabrera, Punta Cana, Bavaro, etc. Aka Tourist Places, for the vast majority of us are just places to do sightseeing and rest and / or partying, not exactly looking for real love or living. Many of us when we see groups of foreigners get away because we know that many come for the party, easy women and even have some vices of substance abuse that we do not even have recreational.  No, I'm not saying that is everyone's case, but you know what I mean, right? These are the reasons why locals sometimes distance themselves from tourists or foreigners in the love aspect, for fear that it is just to make us waste time, just sex and everything that I mentioned before. However, in whatever we can help and / or share we do, because we are like that, we like to share, eat, dance, we are friendly, helpful and essentially good people.

On the other hand, we also know that in the tourist areas there are the well-known chapeadoras for men and sankis for women, which are people who sell mainly to foreigners the dream of love, that is their business and they are very good at that. Similarly, I will never understand how people fall again and again with these people, how come they do not realize it? These chapeadoras and sankis are very easy to identify, I do not understand, but maybe for me as a local it is easy to identify, but who knows.
In order to make sure that you really found love I recommend you know well the person and his/her family, what they are dedicated to, what is the plan of the person you are dating, what is this person wants for his/her life?  Make sure the person is not telling you what you want to hear to make you fall into their trap. It does not matter if he or she does not have money, what you need to know is what is this person wants for his/her life. Do you want to be a professional? Do you want to form a family?

Here most people are very basic, but even so they have aspirations, it is important to know if that aspiration, however basic, is adjusted to the ones you want for yourself. Also, it is very important to learn not only Spanish, but Dominican Spanish, which is quite complicated sometimes even for ourselves hahaha, there are people from the southern part of DR who I do not even understand, just saying. I can talk to my brother for a full hour of Dominican Spanish and I assure you that no matter how skilled you are, it will be very difficult to understand for you hahaha.
Now, regardless that everything you say (the good and the bad) is true, I see that nobody makes mention of things that from my perspective as a local are extremely important and that, incidentally, is one of the main reasons why I decided to move out of my beloved country. SECURITY! and the second is CORRUPTION.

I want to have my own family and no matter how much I love my country, I can't  deny that there are political and social problems that in the future will reduce considerably the quality of life of the children that I plan to have.  Here the security has deteriorated a lot, 15 years ago you could walk freely on the street at any time without fear, no longer. The crime rate is getting higher every day and the cost of living more expensive. In my case, I was robbed 3 times in 2017 in broad daylight. I feel very sad for our new reality, trust me even in our darkest times it wasn’t this way.

We have a country governed since 1996 by the same party and a legion of corrupt leeches, with a break in the period 2000-2004 that we had a government of another party that were not only corrupt but the president was a bit crazy. Anyway, my country is rich in resources and raw material, but very badly managed by people who retain wealth for themselves which has as a consequence that these benefits do not reach the population in the form of health and education and construction structures and strong homes. As you know, education and health is fundamental to put a country as beautiful as mine out of poverty and unfortunately I do not see that happening soon.

I came to the conclusion that this situation is not going to change and that every time someone is in a position of power instead of helping, he becomes a thief just like everyone else. I do not want the children I plan to have to go through all the inconveniences that I have had to go through, for example just to be able to go to college and graduate. Before, talking about robberies and muggings here was a very strange thing, now in every home there are at least two members who have been victims of robbery, corruption or people who ask you for bribes to do things that don't really cost money, but you still have to pay to continue with the diligence or process you want to do.  It happens every day.

For you, the tourists and foreigners who live here, maybe these things are not familiar because here they usually protect tourists (much more than us locals) not only our government but also the governments of the different countries from where you guys come. The reason is because it is known that tourism and foreign investment is very important for the country and government thieves can't afford to lose that.  I would say that, for that reason, foreigners are more safe from corruption and crime, but not exempt if you know what I mean.

In my case and in most Dominicans, the logical thing is that when you decide to leave the country you go to USA or Spain, in both countries I have a family that lives there, mainly in the USA, but we all know USA although it is more sure here, it's like I do not know, that country is crazy and violent right now, so I decided that Canada is the place for me, for the husband that I still don't know and the kids that I don't have, in general it seems you Canadians are more peaceful, men are less MALE and the quality of life in security issues is better than in the USA.

So I head over there, in search of tranquility, but hoping to start my own family there and have a quiet and without surprises or disappointments life. I know that in principle it will not be easy to do things alone, that knowing someone takes their time, that I may not be able to work from the beginning to what I do in DR. (Logistics, customs, Ocean and Air Freight etc.) but I am a person that adapts to the circumstances and advances according to that.

Sorry for the reflection so extensive, but is Sunday today so I don't have to work and I woke up early. I would have liked to know why you moved from Canada to DR but I didn't find anything about it, so I decided to write why I want to move out and advise those who want to come from a local point of view.  There are many problems that as foreigners you will not notice at the beginning or you will not have to deal with, but with time you will know and understand more, but even so, you will not have to deal with them in the way that locals have to do in the majority of the cases. It will not always be that way for you.

Regards

NOTE: By the way, my English is not the best the world, but in case you were wondering ... no foreign boyfriend taught me because I have not had a boyfriend from another country (I guess That is going to change next year), I never studied English, etc. I basically learned by myself, listening to music, books, watching movies and subtitled shows since I was a child and eventually I went to university and had to learn more since most good books and papers are in English, (I studied international business) The kind of work I do helped and I also have family in USA, whom I have visited there or they come to visit and every day I keep learning more. I make this clarification because I read in a forum that someone said that when a Dominican knows English it must be a reason for suspicion because maybe some foreigner taught it to him/her and that's a bad sign. NOT TRUE.  If you only look for chapeadoras and sankis, then that is what you going to get my dear. I have a lot friends who speak English and french  :cool:

What an amazing post. Thank you for taking the time to write this.

It is eloquent honey well said and well  written.

If you go back further in posts you will find many other threads that address the things you could not find. 

With 15 years here and many experiences, I cannot disagree with anything you have said!

So as a Canadian, I moved here for the culture, the music, the dancing, the opportunities and lastly the weather!

If I can be of any help to you in your quest to get to Canada, just ask!

Brilliant post and so true. Great Sunday advice.

Except you should not leave.

Have faith that your country's growing younger generation will engage through improved education and realize the vast potential of your beautiful country and hopefully supress the rampant corruption and associated criminal activity.

Look drugs and the corruption that comes with it, is a huge problem for the whole Caribbean zone and also now increasingly so in the developed world. Don't vacate opportunity to go where those same problems have taken root is my suggestion.

DR is a rare gem in the world in terms of geography and peoples, and a few problems should not deter those seeking one if the best on balance retreats available worldwide.

Forgive those who beseech you to stay. In the beginning of your post, you state that which they do not see. You are 35, a goal of children & a loving family. You do not have years & years to achieve your goals. Go to that cold climate & find what you desire. I agree that your departure will lessen the the  intelligence pool, but it is your life & no none elses. Your ability to state your beliefs & knowledge far supercedes those who wish to keep you here.  My only sadness is that I am not 35 years younger because I most certainly   would be sending flowers & courting you as a woman with the attributes of a whole woman.  With full blessings, go north & conquer. You will win.    Please for us left behind, continue to post your thoughts & progress.  Thank you for making us think.  You and Groby57 have that in common.  Thank you again.

Aww thank you. and you are right I don't have years and years to investigate what I want to do now.

But hey, ¨We'll Always Have Paris¨ :D
To be precise in this case, we'll always have my lovely DR.

And Playa Alicia too...................

Great first post.  Made me smile and so glad I live here.

I look forward to your contributions.

BobK

That was so beautiful, sad, happy, funny! Thank you for being so sincere and open!😄 And your English is excellent, and awesome that you learned it on your own! Everyone has their own dreams and goals, you will never forgive yourself for not following them. My husband and I have dreamed of moving to Caribbean for years...we know there will be language barriers, corruption, crime, cultural differences, but we also SEE the beauty, the welcomed cutural differences, the adventure, the small towns, mountains and coastal areas to discover. I believe there is no paradise just a trade off for different problems. If you don't like it in Canada you can always return to DR....which is what my husband and I will do if we decide DR is not for us....but your right the US is crazy right now!😂 I'm hoping DR is what we are looking for.

That's right Kat, I can always return to DR. 
I started thinking about leaving DR 3 years ago ... anyway I will always be visiting, my parents live here and I love them with madness, but they don't want to go anywhere. I didn't want either, but I have to see the big picture and I am not happy with what I see here.
But yes, I can always return to my half island paradise. :)

lennoxnev :

Brilliant post and so true. Great Sunday advice.

Except you should not leave.

Have faith that your country's growing younger generation will engage through improved education and realize the vast potential of your beautiful country and hopefully supress the rampant corruption and associated criminal activity.

Look drugs and the corruption that comes with it, is a huge problem for the whole Caribbean zone and also now increasingly so in the developed world. Don't vacate opportunity to go where those same problems have taken root is my suggestion.

DR is a rare gem in the world in terms of geography and peoples, and a few problems should not deter those seeking one if the best on balance retreats available worldwide.

Our youth is lost, precisely because of what I explained in my post ... we are a country clearly rich in raw material and natural resources, but very badly managed, government after government  is the same, every new person who comes to the presidency arrives with a group of new thieves ready to steal until their pockets are broken for so much money, the consequence of this is that less than 1% of the population is the one in control of all the money. And that's why there are no good education programs, which I consider to be the main weapon that takes poor countries out of misery.

That lack of education makes girls between 13 and 20 get pregnant, what can we expect when in a country where immature girls are raising children without any kind of prior guidance or any kind of help in that difficult way?
Many Chapeadoras, sankis, Many young delinquents, lazy people to work, or who work a lot but can not progress, since those who can progress are left with everything.

Recently I was commenting with someone that I work since I was 19 years old and as soon as I got more experience of things and how is this system, I realized that since my parents do not have "special relationships" in high positions, no matter how smart you are, you hardly get the resources to retire to live in Sosua, Luperon, Cabarete, Terrenas, etc. ..or just living decently, I do not mean being rich, but being middle class without going through so many difficulties.

Do you guys wanna know why? because you can't calculate with a salary of 3 cents in pesos a retirement plan or a decent life that clearly costs more than that, unless you already live near the beach, but in that case other considerations come into play.  So, yep, the brains that are fleeing to other countries is a real issue.  That's why I have decided that I will not die fighting, I prefer to go to another country to plan with dollars in what way I want to live there or here. If anything I have learned from my humble parents, has been to work hard for whatever I want.

Sadly for the moment, it will not be here in my lovely half island, so mistreated.
We have a rare gem, we know it.

YDo you know what the opportunists do thieves here? instead of promoting the consumption and export of coffee (one of the best in the world) that we can produce ourselves, They prefer to infect the earth and the coffee plantations with insects and pests and claim that the land is not good for that,  just because it is productive for a group and it makes them earn a lot of money since they use international agreements to import coffee, which then sell to us many more expensive.  Brilliant, right?.
The same goes for rice, cocoa, etc.

They know what happens with a country that imports more things than it exports, in simple terms, it happens the same as with a person who spends more than what they produce.
And that type of unproductive situations in DR is repeated in almost all things or business models that could place the country in a higher place.

These things for the extpats or tourists, are transparent, or don't notice them or perceive them in another way.

And of course, the stupid ones in power think like the Indians that Christopher Columbus found when he came to the island in 1492. They still do not see the big picture and believe me that I know my people well, this will not improve for now.

Excellent words and thoughts. I am Canadian and now married and living in Moca. My wife's sister, is now a Canadian citizen, living and working in Alberta. She introduced me to her sister. Out of five siblings, one lives in Canada, one in New York city, and one in Munich Germany so this family has experience in doing just what you are planning. You Where are you planning on going to in Canada adn do you have any skills or profession that you hope to utilize in Canada. I can tell you that most professions must meet Canadian standards and that means going back to school to get such qualifications. I would suggest that a smaller city is much better than larger metropolitan regions. I grew up in southern Ontario but far prefer Western Canada. No matter, as long as you have friends or contacts in Canada or have work lined up for you, a hard worker can achieve a great deal. IF you have any questions feel free to ask. It would be a pleasure to respond as best I can........

On the other hand, the case of the Chapeadoras and Sankis is a very separate case that deserves an encyclopedia of several volumes for me to explain a point of view from a Dominican woman, but for now I will tell you that it is a subject that makes me feel very embarrassed, BUT also a lot of courage because I see that there is an stereotype about us dominican women that is NOT true, none of my friends are like that.
I think the main problem is that the men who come here want it all fast and dont take the time to search in the right places.

But of course, if you came to my country to find in a week what even  to ourselves takes years or came to find whatever you saw on netflix...what do you think you're going to find?

Ok, this the part when guys gonna start the endless cry  with things like:

**¨I last 3 years in a relationship with a Dominican, at first she did not ask me anything but in the end she wanted to get married and I did not want to do it bla bla bla bla¨

*My question is:  why did you lose 3 years of your life and her life if you were not sure or didn't know what you wanted when she could perfectly have another boyfriend and marry that or whatever she wants? know why? selfishness.
Any girl, of any nationality, after 2 years or 3 wants to get married !!! It is the most common thing, even more if the girl is latina, you know this. They can pretend (boys and girls) that it is not like that, or that the guys dont know them, but bi *** please, really? don't try to pretend that you don't know

**¨I last 3 years in a relationship with a Dominican, at first she did not ask me anything but in the end I start to ask for money and her family too bla bla bla bla¨

------If when you started dating her you saw that:
1. She did not work,
2. she had 1000 children

-My question is: in which part of the world if you meet a woman like that you think she will not ask you for money in some point? of course you are santa claus for her  :lol:
But since you wanted to have her, you ignored the signs and now you want to blame all the dominican women.
------If when you started dating her you saw that:
3. She works but earns little.
My question is:
Does she really has the need to tell you that she needs something?
You know it, cause you see it.
But if you still want to continue the relationship and she has good intentions you will realize soon that she will want to progress and prepare and do things and had a better work, start a business etc.  If you see that she does not do that or that despite your advice and help you show no interest, let her go.
But hey, seriously you have to wait a year to realize who this person is?
And of course,  since you wanted to have her, you ignored the signs and decided to stay with her and then complain about things like Dominican women are just going behind my money and lazy, etc. Uhg
There are many poor women with very good intentions and great potential, in case she needs your help to get ahead if she decides to tell you, she will be very careful to explain what the money is for.
But I figure that only will happen if you guys are in a serious relationship NOT before.
She will NEVER ask you for anyone's illness or for any other family member, she will even protect you without your knowledge of her own family and friends.
It would be a great shame for her just to accept your money as if you were a bank.
Believe me, that kind of problems any woman who respects herself will put them very far away from you. No matter what social status she has ... poor, rich, half-class.
IT IS COMMON SENSE
But again, do you really need a full year for that?
------If when you started dating her you saw that:
4. Her family lives in a stable way but still want your money
-My question is:
in which part of the world a person does not feel embarrassed that her family upsets his boyfriend with those things? do I really have to ask? Really dude?
My dear we are NOT the exception, No woman from any country who respects herself will allow such ugly things, no matter the level of education...it's just common sense.
If she allow that and tell you is normal, let tell you right know that is NOT normal is not acceptable, they know is not, don't let them lie right in your face. But most important YOU know is not ok.
But since you wanted to have her, you ignored the signs and now you want to blame all the dominican women, right?
------If when you started dating her you saw that:
5. She ask money for her personal and beauty things because all dominican women expect that from you, that's the culture.
-My question is:
is that the law? where is says that?
Because I have a sister and neither she nor I have ever been offered that money, nor have we asked.
Here I have to clarify that my sister has been married for 22 years with my dominican brother in law and they started when they had almost nothing, but my sister being the good daughter that my parents raised she work very hard with her husband to have what they have today.
Both contribute to the household, he earns much more than her, now, but it wasn't always like that.
My brother-in-law wants her to no longer work, but she says that if she stop to work she will dies, just like me.
Probably that couple will meet with you guys on the beach in a couple of years, retirement plan.
And a lot of my friends are like that, don't want nothing from free

You want to find love, without much effort, with a perfect woman. :o

But you chose one that does not know how to do anything, that does not want to do anything, that has 100 children, that asks for money, and her family do the same thing and she does not do anything to prevent it.
You chose that, but since you wanted to have her, you ignored the signs and now you want to blame all the Dominican women.   We are the devil and you are just a simple angel :whistle:

YOU saw her hanging around the beach alone and with another group like her and you know she is not resting or on vacation.
What do you think she is doing there? Fishing?
The only thing she wants to fish is you.

And what do you think the rest of the dominican women thinks about you , when we see you walking here and there with that type of women who are clearly identifiable as chapeadora, gold digger, meneater, etc.?

That you're not worth it either, that you do not have self-esteem, that you're just stupid as her, or that you're here just to party.
So, we stay the hell away from you, is just that simple 1+1=2
Is not ok that you stereotype the rest of the women because of your bad decisions.
You and your poor choices.

You will never find love on the beach or with an employee of the tourist sector.
But you can buy it, like any other country in the world

Think about and star to look in other places.

I love you all don't get mad with me :lol:

:)

2VPsoldier :

Excellent words and thoughts. I am Canadian and now married and living in Moca. My wife's sister, is now a Canadian citizen, living and working in Alberta. She introduced me to her sister. Out of five siblings, one lives in Canada, one in New York city, and one in Munich Germany so this family has experience in doing just what you are planning. You Where are you planning on going to in Canada adn do you have any skills or profession that you hope to utilize in Canada. I can tell you that most professions must meet Canadian standards and that means going back to school to get such qualifications. I would suggest that a smaller city is much better than larger metropolitan regions. I grew up in southern Ontario but far prefer Western Canada. No matter, as long as you have friends or contacts in Canada or have work lined up for you, a hard worker can achieve a great deal. IF you have any questions feel free to ask. It would be a pleasure to respond as best I can........

:) Thank you for that I will definitely take into account your offer and I will be asking you `questions later.

Looking forward to any and all...

Another very very interesting post! Thank you for explaining  to us how you, and other Dominicans, see things. Your insight has a lot of value!!!

I can say from personal experience, having been in Canada on many occasions, with serious thoughts of living in Winnipeg. Which is the closest big Canadian city to my trucking company in North Dakota. Or new Brunswick near the ocean. I've been to Toronto, New Brunswick, Montreal, and of course Winnipeg. There is a small amount of racism in Canada, but definitely not to the extent that you will find in the United States. I mean compared to the united states it is virtually nonexistent in Canada. The United States is going thru a rough patch right now in terms of social and political turmoil. No matter that he won't admit it, we have a racist President in the united states, which has emboldened those who share his racist views. Addiction to opiates has  permeated the small rural communities in the United States. So violence is now in the small towns as well as the big cities. It is definitely more difficult being Latino in the United States than in Canada. Right now it's more difficult to get a visa to enter the United States.
I would definitely suggest Canada over the United States at this time. In terms of job availability, security, and raising a family.
I can't tell you about the men in Canada in terms of dating, because I don't date men. But the guys I know seem just as male as every other male everywhere. Canadian men come to the DR and other countries for easy sex, just like other men.
Don't paint a broad picture about a perception of men. I've been around the world, and from my observations we men are all the same, all over the planet.
I hope you get your wish and find a good city to settle in.

JulianTorrez :

Don't paint a broad picture about a perception of men. I've been around the world, and from my observations we men are all the same, all over the planet.
I hope you get your wish and find a good city to settle in.

I have to agree with your comment. I am a Canadian working to some day retire in DR. I have also traveled the world and still doing so. Believe me, it's not as glamourous as it sounds.
Your choice of moving to Canada is a good one. Canada is not without it's problems as with any country. I am from Alberta but now living in Montreal. I have lived in many parts of Canada including Newfoundland.

You have come to the right place to share your story. As you see, many of the good folks on this forum are only to happy to assist you in any way they can.

ElizabethCC, thank you for taking the time to write from you point of view. I am sure it is shared by many.

Great post!  Not Canadian but no matter...very well written post. Very insightful! I wish you the best in your brave new adventure! May your dreams for a happy family come true!!! And lastly your English is amazing!

Being a Son of the Roma people,many of the problems in life rquire making decisions. Many times stupid or dumb or downright dangerous. My mother always said, there is no such thing as mistake,....UNLESS YOU REPEAT IT!. Pretty succint  I  would say, wouldn't you?   Go do it Spy Girl. That way you cannver regret not having tried.  Life is a one way trip, no return trip ticket supplied. Take the local, the exprees makes you miss too many sights along the way.  I am real lucky, could never afford the express fare.  Do it & never ever let someone change your ticket.

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