First Impression Should Never Be Trusted

onecookie wrote:

That's a load of pony.

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No, it cost me a monkey..-

You may state that you should not trust first impression but it's something that works on subconscious level; you cannot control it

Lazy_Traveler wrote:

You may state that you should not trust first impression but it's something that works on subconscious level; you cannot control it

Exactly. Therefore, impression cloud our judgment.

FeminineHeart wrote:

Lazy_Traveler wrote:

You may state that you should not trust first impression but it's something that works on subconscious level; you cannot control it

Exactly. Therefore, impression cloud our judgment.

Well, I can kinda give you the counter-argument, that first impressions SHOULD be trusted.

I have interviewed hundreds of people, and believe me, first impressions count. At a job interview, I expect you smartly dressed, with your CV/resumé, and a pen and to know something about my company, have you looked at our website? No? Well off you go, how hard was that to look up our website?

You get an idea of how people's attitude is, at least as far as being employed, from how they come prepared for an interview. Late? Don't get the job. No excuses. How can I trust you, to go to a customer, to be late. Yes, things happen, we are all late sometimes, but of all the ways and means of you TELLING me you are going to be late, you didn't bother with any of them.

So I sit twiddling my thumbs waiting for you, do I? Er, that is not going to happen, I have better things to do.

Not in a suit and tie (if you are a man) or smart blouse and skirt or trousers as you prefer (as a woman) turn up in a dirty T-shirt? Not getting the job. You just walked yourself out of it, I don't mind what you wear, in daily life, at an interview, you turn up smart and prepared, that is part of the protocol.

I didn't make the rules, but you are insulting me. I am in a three piece suite, no hang on, three piece suit, with a silk tie and cufflinks, ready, waiting, have read your CV and taken the time out of my diary to interview you.

It is simply a matter of respect. First impressions do count.

Most of the time around here I am in my "blues", my working overalls, which my missus bought me a new pair of that I haven't tried yet. I still get respect because people know me and know I am rebuilding my house and if I have paint under my fingernails they know it is because I have been painting something.

What you want on a first impression is to have someone RESPECT you. I think that is really the right word. You shake their hand or whatever is the custom in your culture, make a polite joke, offer your meishi (business card) if you are Japanese, whatever is the appropriate thing to do.

What you don't do is tread on someone else's toenails and just act as if you are the only person in the world. You are not.

I am a twin, a fraternal twin not identical, but I learned literally from day 1 that I am not the only person in the world. It is a good lesson to learn.

SimonTrew wrote:

Most of the time around here I am in my "blues", my working overalls, which my missus bought me a new pair of that I haven't tried yet. I still get respect because people know me and know I am rebuilding my house and if I have paint under my fingernails they know it is because I have been painting something.

What you want on a first impression is to have someone RESPECT you. I think that is really the right word. You shake their hand or whatever is the custom in your culture, make a polite joke, offer your meishi (business card) if you are Japanese, whatever is the appropriate thing to do.

What you don't do is tread on someone else's toenails and just act as if you are the only person in the world. You are not.

I am a twin, a fraternal twin not identical, but I learned literally from day 1 that I am not the only person in the world. It is a good lesson to learn.

I believe if you we act respectfully the whole time we will automatically give good impression about ourselves. So what you are saying is that we must watch the way we talk and act, and we will have nothing to worry about.

Well yes and no. If you see a guy with a bunch of MS-13 tattoos walking your direction on the streets of El Salvador, it's probably smart to make a snap judgment about the type of person they are and cross the street or go another direction. But in general sure. We're not always right on the first pass, but there's also reasons were able to process a ton of information about people quickly.

I wouldn't say never - in some cases, your intuition proves to be helpful. Rather, I think there should still be room for changing that impression. After all, we never know a person completely especially after a single encounter.

I have to disagree. Not every first impression is wrong, therefore all first impressions shouldn't be discounted. It makes sense not to let your first impression be the end all be all of what you think of someone, but to say you should never trust a first impression seems a bridge too far.