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mariarodrigues1993 wrote:

My question is to all the women expats in Hungary. I was travelling in a metro lately and these 2 guys shabbily dressed were making lewd gestures and making me feel very uncomfortable. Can someone share their experiences if they have had similar ones. Also please let me know if there is an helpline available in english (anything on social media also  would be good). Frankly i have dealt with such perverts in my home country but not knowing the language here i am really scared of how to deal with them , in case they try to get touchy it would be worst. Please help

Sorry for your scare.
Was this at night or daytime?
Perhaps if it happens again you can move away and stand near someone else?
I know how creepy it can be, once in NYC my husband forgot to set the alarm to pick me up from work, I got off at night.
I had to ride the subway from Manhattan to Brooklyn at 4 am.
No one was on the subway really, a few bums were sleeping but it was still scary.

I am not aware of any help lines here for such a thing.
Men used to show respect for women and it was against the law for them to go too far.
Social crimes used to carry a heavy jail time.
Now it is no longer communist and people are quickly learning from the west, no rules, no laws and no standards of behavior.
I am guessing you are a attractive younger women so perhaps it's best to not travel alone, for sure not at night.
These men were probably drunk and just trying to out do each other with odd remarks.
Best to not get into a verbal thing with these low lifes.
Pepper spray as far as I know is not legal here but who says a can of hairspray or deo doesn't burn the eyes just as badly?
Just in case that is.
Same rules apply here if you're being followed ask for help, walk into a public area etc.
It's sad really but we women always must watch ourselves at all times in public, just the way it is.
Cross the st. if you are heading towards a group of men and never walk alone at night and always wear running shoes if possible.
Some women can walk alone wearing a G-string and no one would bother them and others can dress like a Nun and be bothered.
Stand up straight , eyes forward like you mean business when out alone.
If I become aware of any sort of help line, I'll let you know.
I am 63 and have been touched and grabbed here in Budapest.
Both times my husband was close by but not watching...
Both times I got physical but I knew if things got ugly my husband would of stepped in.
Being alone is different, just move and don't challenge these idiots.
All else fails, just scream and act crazy, it works, I did that once as a teenager when a guy was following me in Hollywood in the daytime.
I'd say learn some self defense but that takes a long time and doesn't always work, still need to run fast.
My eldest sister who is now 70 was a black belt in 3 different forms of karate.
Used to win against other women all the time, women half her age. She was doing this in her late 40's.
She said to be honest even at her level of skill she was really only a match for a weak 14-15 year old boy. She could probably get in a few good slicks but still it would be best to run away. She was being honest, men just outweigh most women.
2 men, best to move away, say nothing and feel angry inside, what else can you do?
Even a help line wouldn't be much good after the fact.
When I was in my 20's, a man moved his car close to the sidewalk where i was walking in a good area in S. Ca. He pulled a gun out and pointed it at my head.
Thankfully my son had just been dropped off by me at school.
The jerk just laughed and drove his new Mercedes away. I tried to get his car plates but it was impossible, a road crew was blocking his path and I couldn't get a good look at his plates, missed a few numbers.
Still, I called the police and reported it. I also was not allowed to walk anymore by my husband, he went out and bought me a car that weekend.
I joined a gym for exercise and didn't walk alone again until I had my Doberman.
Some women just can't go out alone and others can. Sucks sometimes to be attractive because losers think they can get away with murder when no one is watching.
As a teenager even walking in Hollywood with my friends would still lead to several cars pulling over towards us or waiting for us to come closer. The jerk would call out and we would look, not going to say what he was doing with himself but you can imagine...
It once happened a good 3 times on one walk with my BFF. It was to the point where it didn't bother us any longer, we would just laugh and call them names.
Seriously at one time in the 70's we thought that was all any man could do, was bother young girls and wank off in their cars...
Men are pretty much dogs everywhere, going to get some comments over that statement but it's true.
Stay safe.

Thank you SimCity and Marilyn for your reply. Well it happened to me during the afternoon at 3pm i had taken the metro M2 from Deäk ferenc towards Tesco. Since i have newly moved here i was a bit scared to even move away i thought they would react even more. Both the guys were actually stinking and seemed like they were homeless.

Back in India we have more laws helpline and regarding such men as there are plenty of such cases there and using peper spray also is legal. Plus one shout and people gather up to beat the pervert. Thought it was safer In Budapest one of the main reasons we moved out of india.

Generally late night its just me and my husband when we go out to the main party area so thats when v travel late at night by metro or public transport ,i live in district 13 heard its safe here. Do you suggest booking a taxi instead? Whenever we are late and travelling with my husband or alone.

I was thinking it happened to me just coz I am an Indian and look different so i was an easy target. I will definitely take care from now on

That could be a real possibility.
I know a young black lady from the US and even when she is out in public with her father, people sometimes feel they can say and do rude things to them because they are foreigners.
They stand out and these jerks think they can't defend themselves.
Have to also consider the source, these "men" were not typical locals, just scum.
Have to scrap them off your shoes and try not to let it get to you.
Most Hungarians would come to your aid if needed, at least I hope they are still civil.
My mother was part native American and whenever she was out in public rude men would say things to her if she happened to be with her dark skinned mother. aunts or granny.Typical stupid racist things were said to them.
People can be idiots anywhere, sadly.
This is a odd thing that happened to me here in Budapest back in 1978 when it was still communist.
We were here on a family holiday and to show off our boy the his HU grandparents.
For 7 years my husband was not allowed to return home without facing jail time for leaving.
I was way too "fashion forward" for the times and for sure here in Hungary, even for Budapest.
Was 23 and into fashion and hair, started beauty college.
I had a big late 70's style perm and my hair was a bright red orange color.
I was walking in Budapest with my 2 year old son, husband  SIL and BIL.
Out of nowhere we heard jeers , looked up and some construction workers were calling out.
Just low class workers.
It seems my bright hair was a huge attraction and they were calling out all sorts of rude things which I couldn't understand but everyone else could.
I asked what was going on and my husband barely told me.
I sort of got the drift of it though.
I told my husband to tell the guy that I was seriously hoping he wouldn't fall to the ground and kill himself, all sarcastic of course.
My husband translated it but not he or his brother stood up for me.
Maybe it's a male thing or maybe they are afraid of getting into a fight?
At least I felt better telling the guy off even if in English and he didn't have a clue what I had said.
If this happens to you again maybe if you can find some kind looking women to stand near they may be able to handle the situation. Forget about men jumping in, most men don;t want to fight or get mixed up in anything these days.
All a bunch of weak wimps.The women are stronger standing together.

I Guess thats a problem everywhere , guys dont wanna get involved in a fight. I remember an incident back in India where a guy was murdered just for the fact that he tried to protect his girlfriend from a bunch of goons.
I guess verbally saying something in english to them will give a mental satisfaction even though they would not understand.
Yes people do get very racist specially i hVent seen many indians here where i live so it does come as a surprise when someone sees us.  i think i just have to live with it for a few years and then get used to it  . Hopefully next time i have some one as helpful as you around

Yes, wish I could be everyone's big sister sometimes!
Take care and just don't let them get to you.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Forget about men jumping in, most men don;t want to fight or get mixed up in anything these days.

I would. I am a bit old-fashioned like that. It is not a question of being a man or a woman, if someone is in trouble, you jump in to help. You do not pass by on the other side.

One of the problems of feminism or equality is that men do not ever know if we are supposed to be the big strong man defending the weak feeble woman, leave it to them to deal with and so on, sometimes it might actually be a domestic argument which people seem to like to have in public these days for some reason, so it can be difficult to assess in a second. But I would jump in if I thought something was iffy, But that is probably easy for me to say as a relatively tall, relatively fit and strong man, and also incredibly handsome of course.

I would jump in. I hate fighting and there are easy ways to stop people fighting using only the minimal physical force. But I seem to be in the minority, everyone else will pass by on the other side.

mariarodrigues1993 wrote:

I Guess thats a problem everywhere , guys dont wanna get involved in a fight.

It is not that we don't want to get involved, it is that we don't want to make the situation worse. We are told (as indeed on this thread) that women can look after themselves etc, at the same time told the big strong man should jump in to help the weak and feeble woman... so there is a danger that if I jump in the sityuation escalates, that is a matter of judgment and even men get it wrong sometimes

I am very sorry to hear of your bad experience, it sickens me to think that any man would want to threaten a woman, but I am a bit old-fashioned like that.

Of course take the usual precautions of not having a big swinging handbag with all  your stuff in, Budapest is very safe I think compared to most big cities, but you do have to watch your back for sneak thiefs etc just like in any other big city. It would not surprise me is if it was a distraction to get hold of your valuables. I am not saying it was, but distraction theft - someone causes a scene so while you are concentrating on that, someone else steals your purse/handbag etc - is as common as in any other big city, you have to be en guarde a bit, but not much.

Budapest I think is very safe, and  I am sorry you have had such a bad experience. It probably is not much comfort to  you to know it is very rare.

There is not much point saying call the tourist police (or even the main police), at that point you are not in a position to dial a phone. A swift kick in the testicles usually does the job, though, That reallly  hurts. Well I have only had it by accident in a friendly rugby game, but believe me, it really hurts.

I think everyone has answered your question adequately already.  I am male, so I can't say I have had the same harassment that you have been subject to.  I generally feel safe in the city, but I would advise anyone to stay away from some districts (VIII for example) unless you really have to go there.  As someone else suggested, keep your head up whilst walking on the streets to be aware of your surroundings.  Sadly, there is a large 'anti-immigrant' mentality in the country, fuelled by those on high, and the result of this is that anyone that doesn't have 'white' skin is seen as a potential terrorist or threat to the cultural and religious 'purity' of the country.  My perception is that the people of Budapest are generally more educated,  liberal and open than people outside, so there should be less to worry about.

Brit_Magyar wrote:

I think everyone has answered your question adequately already.  I am male, so I can't say I have had the same harassment that you have been subject to.  I generally feel safe in the city, but I would advise anyone to stay away from some districts (VIII for example) unless you really have to go there.  As someone else suggested, keep your head up whilst walking on the streets to be aware of your surroundings.  Sadly, there is a large 'anti-immigrant' mentality in the country, fuelled by those on high, and the result of this is that anyone that doesn't have 'white' skin is seen as a potential terrorist or threat to the cultural and religious 'purity' of the country.  My perception is that the people of Budapest are generally more educated,  liberal and open than people outside, so there should be less to worry about.

I am not sure if I should say this but I had a good chat with the original poster on private messages and reassured her much as you say. Of course any big city has its dangers, but I agree with you Budapest is really a very safe city by world standards. It is disgusting what happened to her and very rare, and I don't want to reveal what we said it was just reassurance, and I said if you don't go out, they win. After a good chit-chat, at the end she said "right. I am going out to the market to get [some ingredients for my evening meal] see you later...." so I think I did the right thing Good on you, girl, don't let one idiot stop you doing what you want to do! Well done her!