How to break up with a Dominican....asking for a friend!!!

My Name is Ricardo I am a US Navy Veteran, I have relocated to the DR. I have a relationship with a Dominican Women for the last two months. She apperars to be the picture perfect women. 1} She has a Job. 2] She is very kind and Friendly 3] She actually meets all of my needs. My concern is that it seems to good to be true. While relocating she handled several business tranactions for me with no problems. Now that I am here I have met her family they all appear to be real nice and they present themselves friendly.
My concern is that I may have moved on our relationship to fast. 1) She was staying with family,I allowed her to move into my apartment with me. 2] She is so far in my opinion a virtueous women.  We have only been living together for about two weeks. Can anyone out help me to reset the wheel and slow down this fast moving train. Although I like her alot I barley know her.

Im sure I have made some typical red flag mistakes. But I believe that until further notice we should seperate for an appointed time. SOS any postive suggestions would be greatly appreciated and respected.
Ricardo

Be honest with her but  make it happen.  If she is what you think she is she will respect this.

Pack her things and document everything, take photos and make sure you have a witness with you ask her to take her stuff. Tell her you still want to 'Date" if that is what you want.

Be very very clear.  Living with a local has risks attached to it.  You want to be very clear before allowing anyone to live with you.

Thank You Again Planner Sound Advice.

Planner has some sound advice, I would like to add that you catalog everything before you have the conversation, of your things together and make sure nothing has the opportunity to grow legs. The sad truth is that she may also feel as if you are trying to cut ties to live the single life, which may cause some resentment and bad decision maker on her behalf.

As soon as she & all o her thing have vacated your place, have a standby locksmith change all of the locks. You can request her keys, but there is always the chance o copies. I wish you well.

Living together was initiated by you or did you just agree and on what terms?
Is she wanting to get married or just be friends?
Maybe you could analyze your situation and what got you there...She seems like a very nice person, why do you feel it's going too fast?

Michita those questions apply to so much! Always good to take a look.

If your gut feeling is that is too fast, then it is.  When you talk to her about it no matter what, you must stay calm & never over react. A woman can get very emotioal, loud, curse or even as calm as you. Explain at length how you feel. She may surpris you & understand.  However, she is taking a loss of face w/family & friends. Don't delay, do it as soon as possible.  Good luck & keep us posted.

Hello Ricardo,  sounds like you have already received some good advise.  I would like to add, with the understanding you both have a common language, that you tell her you first, really care about her.  Let her know that you would like to be sure that your feelings are really genuine.  That you see your relationship growing stronger and in a more permanent direction going forward but to be sure you would like to have some space between you so that you are both able to evaluate your true feelings without the pressure of lust.  Ask her, would it be possible for her to move back with her family for some time so that you can properly and respectfully court her in a way that will benefit both of you.  She sounds like a genuine good person and they do exist here (I have one) but it's still the wild wild west and when all hell breaks lose you better know how to handle yourself.  One big tell tale here is; has she or her family asked you for money for things that are not real or really important and if you weren't in the picture would they find their own way and how would they find their way?  Tread softly, but do what you have to do.  All the advise in the world but in the end, you are the only one that truly knows the situation.  I think you are making the right decision by backing up a little, I just hope that she understands in the right way.

Good luck

Good thoughts. Leave the door open for a possible future,BUT, not wide open. If she is worthy, you shall know & visa versa on her part also.

Greetings brother - all the above applies. Courteousy, common sense, and honesty.  If she is as awesome as you say, perhaps space and courting as Dominicacanadamike suggests is feasible.  If her family is anything like mine wife's family, they will understand and support the decision you two make because parents and other siblings as I have found only want the others to be happy,loved and safe. Like Mike, I  have a keeper too. As a brother vet, I also say that when you feel everything fits, you know how to act upon it.....figure it out, be safe and aĺl the best.

Ricardo,
I can say this from personal experience. Most of the women here are perfect, until you do something they don't like. Unfortunately, rushing into a relationship is the norm for many women here, when it comes to foreign men.  The family will be extremely nice to you,  because in their mind she has won the financial lottery.
The Planner's advice was correct,  document everything.  Take many pictures. We men tend to be blind to the red flags. I hope your girlfriend is a good woman as she portrays herself to be.  Then simply tell her that you are not ready to live together.  You want to continue dating,  but she should move back into her family's home.
Pray that she understands and will move out. I will tell you,  it is difficult to get a local out of your apartment,  if you invited her to live with you. I told my girlfriend from the start,  we date for at least a year before we live together. I travel back to the United states many times in the year for work, so I don't want a woman live with me. I have a friend who is retired Army, and lives in Santo Domingo.  He pays part of girlfriend's mother's rent when he wanted her out of his apartment. Worst case scenario is I know men who have actually moved out of their own apartments,  and into another place paying for both,  until the lease is up,  because the girlfriend wouldn't leave.  I hope your situation doesn't become that extreme. If it does chalk it up to a lesson learned. 
My other suggestion,  which may irk some of the women in the chat,  but enjoy being single for awhile in the DR.

Should not irk anyone honey.  It is the reality of life here,  enjoy it without abusing anyone or anything.  AND that goes both ways, women can enjoy the heck out of being single here too. 

Being single here is a damn adventure!

Yes it is an adventure. I hope your friend's relationship situation ends happily.

Woooow. Not that I have plans on getting in a relationship when I come over to DR but daaammnn. I didn't know it can get that bad with locals.

Another very informative thread

Not a big deal unless you equate spectacular, unbelievably beautiful women in just a night or two, fall madly in love with you is a true relationship & you are an incurable masochist. exercise great caution with women here. That is not to say that it can't happen, no , you are more likely to hit the Power Ball lotto.  Just say no in the beginning & mean it. They will respect you if you are not a wuss caused by the new & oh so tasty way of women here.  I love them, really do. As long as you know the score, you will come out ahead in the game of life.

In my experience having treated a 21 year old Dominican girl there like a queen until I knew what's up,  these people can be vicious. I have never seen anything like it here in the USA.  They will lure you in and drain all the goodness out if you like Dracula drains blood from it's victims.  So please be careful or you'll find yourself in trouble with the law as she inflicts injury upon herself and calls the police to have you arrested.  They are EXTREMELY crafty with entire families conspiring to eat you alive.

Why do you want to break up. I missed that part. She sounds great. Give her a chance. I haven't heard you say anything negative about her. Everyone wants love and companionship. Give her more time, stop listening to others,listen to your heart.

The worst ones will be the best at first.  If these people put as much effort into curing cancer as they do grand deceptions,  they'd get it done.

Instead they are masters at nothing except deception.  It permeates their mentality with motivation being only material wealth with brand names.

I learned my lesson the hard way.

You realize this thread is from 2018?   

Still applies to anyone seeking information on relationships.

That's why I read it.

Just making sure you all knew.

Planner...I saw Tinker and thought wth? Then I saw the date. 🤣🤣

* Hello Looking For Her,

as a whole Dominican, I am living in Germany, I regret your case, my text is long but for you to understand me and I classify us all the same as you are not the exception.
Rule # 1- Be it country, learn not to look for young girls if you are very old (I do not know what their age is)
Rule # 2-Mistake of many men: believe in offering money, show them offering them from the good life they know and they believe they will be a good woman and it is the opposite.
Rule # 3- become a psychologist without being one, do not talk about what you have without knowing them well, how is their walk where they live, what type of people they meet, the environment where they live, their origin, education and family behavior , your life in the past, present and how you think, it is a big mistake in most of you men buy women for what they offer as many did to me and still do to me, but money does not excite me, I grew up in the country and with money.

* I regret what happened to you, I do not justify anything that thema always happens and in men the woman is the same, but as a woman I am I tell you: it is unfair to blame all the others and keep men away from wanting a Dominican just for your failure and irresponsibility of that girl not knowing how to respect you.,
* Learn not only in the DR there are women falzas all over the world there are ambitious and lacking, they have foreigners as men they look for women to live from them as they like their pimps keep them for free, both men and women some with their husbands @ lovers only to a foreigner for money, even in the great monarchies there is betrayal, there are respectable dams and they are secretly false with their lovers and not knowing how to be a housewife and her husband, less having responsibility for good opportunities they are presented in the life..
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* I will start by telling you about my life: I dreamed of a good and legal life as a WOMAN AS WE ALL LIKE IT. A friend entered the internet on a page, I did not want to enter, because of my work I did not have much time to be in it until I decided, 2005 I met my husband on the internet, I decided to get to know each other well and give us time, we got married 2007 to the money more than knowing how to be a woman.

* I got married in the DR he had to go 3 times to the embassy there to give me the 1st entry to Germany and it was only 26 days they gave me a visa and for that the tube to buy passage and go personally to film a role taking responsibility for my expenses in this country, at that time I had my good personal business and my good job as Administrator of a Customs company from USA to RD, sending packages and cars to all ports of the country, apart from my private business I had my Beauty Salon with my 6 personal employees ..

* The embassy was not enough my proofs I took them from my job letter, the bank account, the company managed it the same, the reference of my boss, my commercial references, of banks, nothing, they found me very joben at that time for what they requested the presence of my husband today.

* 2005 until today in its ups and downs, but as a Woman I master many situations ... you do not classify us all the same as you are not the exception and next time I wish you all the best luck in the world, we all wish to have and live as a couple. But take care and be smarter at the moment of choosing not for face, youth, body that is fantasy, interest and temporary failure. but it is not true love.

Very interesting post! Thank you for your perspective.

You are absolutely right.  Not all women are the same. Not all men are the same.

I appreciate your post and I am well aware that not all women there are the same.  This is understood and need not be explained.

In my case I saw all the red flags but there were many white flags too and my thinking was to let this play out and see where it goes.  It was actually extremely confusing given the mixed messages of good and bad. In fact I am still confused even after what almost everyone would call serious red flags smacking you in the face all combining to a pool of circumstantial evidence as to be abundantly clear: this girl is/was a chapeadora and essentially admitted to being so without the intellect of knowing she did essentially admit it.


In short the most bizarre experience one could ever imagine within the context of a relationship. 

What a sad existence for people who have everything they need but explore what most would view as heartless evil so they can have shiny things. 


Like monkeys who grab jewelry off unsuspecting humans, so are they.

It's the very same in 2021, and I'm going to really stick my neck out here and make the bold prediction that it will be the same in 2031.

Let me tell you brother a really simple statement worthy of considerable thought is this.

In my experience and that of apparently many others, they conflate money with love.

Sad but true.

Money!=love.

There is a song that says the same. Seems so simple but elusive to so many.

Bizarre.
I

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"Most of the women here are perfect, until you do something they don't like."

This might apply to the entire planet...

not only us, you men more and less forgive us a mistake   : tonto:  :Genial:  : gloria

So very tired of this same conversation. Listen, people are people, same all over the world good or bad. Question is, what exactly are you doing to find yourself in this situation?

Oba, if "the same all over the world", why dont we hear of so many such stories from other country groups?

Lol,so you believe the problems that some thirsty men encounter only happen here? You probably should get out more lol. I'm not commenting on the original poster, I was responding to some of the responders.

Easy friend take it easy, just interpret the message, blessings 🙏🙇‍♀️⚪🔵🔴🇩🇴💯✅😉🤔🤔🤔😏

It happens everywhere. I'm in the US and woman and men are both out for what and who can benefit them. No one in this day and age are looking for what's real but for who has the biggest wallet or who pays the most. Sad but true.

Obe, didnt think you could account for the fact I mentioned.

Please stop making generalizations.