I am a young 60 year old who married an American eight and half years ago. After living in Michigan, Virginia, Utah and now back to Michigan I have still not settled. I fear getting ill and old here. I fell in love with someone not so well off and it seems evident that medical bills can leave you very poor here. I feel I have embraced a lot of the American culture but there is also a lot of the every day things I know have not and don't think I ever will, I was called 'ethnosentric the other day by a younger member of the family.....I was just pointing out differences rather than saying things were better back in England, I have never really made friends because most of the ladies I meet are so easily offered, that goes for the lady members in the family as well, my husband says it's not me but I'm certain we have a very different mind set and I just don't think like they do?????? I miss my home soooooo much I just don't know if I will ever be happy here. I would really appreciate any help as I am at my wits end.
Will I ever settle?
What “help” are you asking or expecting here? What can one possibly say to help your situation? You have to adapt and get along with your situation or consider going back to England. If it would be complicated for you or your husband workwise, then maybe that would be an option at retirement. From my experience, no place is perfect. One has to get along with difficulties wherever they live. The upshot of this is that NO, the US is not a utopia by any means. But if healthcare concerns are a high priority for you at an advancing age then the UK definitely has advantages. With the GOP running the country, don't expect anything to improve in that area anytime soon.
My advice to you would be to go back to UK regularly. When I go home I feel homesick for the first week and by the second week I am ready to come home, if you have friends go stay with them, fly by a cheaper airline, if you book months ahead you will get a flight for $500, do this twice a year, and after a couple of years you may feel the need to do it less, or you may not, but you will feel more satisfied. Consider yourself a citizen of both countries, nowadays you don't have to be either English or American, you can be both. I always bring back a suitcase of my favourite foods to keep me going and listen to BBC radio most days and I keep up with UK TV with my BritBox subscription. There is a lot you can do to bridge the gap but regular trips back may be your secret sauce, it is mine!
Not help, just needed to know from another Brit if they feel the same way. Thank you.
Thank you so much Kittylane for replying with some constructive advice. However, I do do all of the things you have suggested and yes it does help. I was 51 when I married my American husband after losing the love of my life to cancer. I know this is the best place for me at this moment in time. I guess I just yearn for my old life in between my visits and that's what unsettled me even though I know I would never have my old life as it was. Again than you.
Hello,
When i moved from England to America, i struggled a lot the first few years. Especially with getting on with the women. I still don't really get along with them personally but i never have anywhere i've lived. I found other things that were valuable in my life. I started to explore all the crafts i want to try, i started all those skills i put on the back burner and i started doing everything for ME and no one else. I don't have a lot of friends, and its actually really great. As bad as that sounds, i don't mean to say you shouldn't try to be friendly, but i'm saying that you can survive very happily without them.
Your situation sounds very uncomfortable and like it makes you feel incredibly isolated which in turn makes your homesickness worse. I get it. Things like that happen to me as well. And i miss my life in England a lot, but bad things happen in England too. No matter where you are, you're still waking up the same person. I hope that makes sense.
If you want to vent or have a bit of a chin wag --- send me a message. 
We can have a good talk about England and the differences. It takes a lot to offend me. Hahaha.
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