Wife of an Italian citizen - moving to Italy with also my sonn

Hi everyone!

I’m currently living in Australia and have been married for 2.5 years to my Italian husband.
I also have a son, born in 2001 (almost 17).
He finishes his last year of school here and we plan to move to Italy in 2019.
We have registered our marriage in Italy and will be applying for my passport etc at the 3 year married point, for me, we understand there’s no trouble to move, however we are rather stressed about my son.
If my husband adopts him then it’s no problem- but that’s not an easy feat.
Fabio called some government agencies and found that if we have a signed permission from the father to live there under my rights, that would work, however the Italian Embassy in Brisbane said that the process takes up to 720 days, by that time my son will have turned 18 and not eligible under me as a dependent.
They in turn told us about Carta di soggiorno and said that we approach the police once there to request this, that they will then arrange to visit to confirm where we live which can take 3 days to 3 months- and would grant him 5 years living privalige as my child, again— we’ve no idea whether this would terminate rights once he turns 18?
It’s very difficult trying to find out from here what we can do there, having my son be able to live with me is a determining factor in whether we move!
Has anyone got any experiences or knowledge around this?
What kind of other visa’s are there that he may use instead?
Thankyou in advance 💕💕

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