Hi everyone,

I’m 27 years old and single (I did have a long term relationship, but we broke up). I notice that a lot of my colleagues and friends are married/getting married or are in serious relationships.

Also, I notice most of the men I meet my age are taken. The ones that aren’t taken are single because they just want to have ‘fun’ and don’t want to commit. This is what worries me too.

So I have some questions, I hope you can help me out 🙂

– what about your male colleagues and friends in their late 20’s/early 30’s? Are most of them taken too or do you know some/plenty who aren’t taken?

-Are they single because they don’t want to commit or didn’t they found the right person yet and are looking for a serious relationship/marriage?

– do you know people who met their partner in their late 20’s/early 30’s and are happily married now?

– at what age did you meet your partner (how old was your partner when you met?) and marry?

I hope you can help me, I sometimes really feel like an outcast 🙁 It’s like everyone around me got married in their 20’s

I want to get married before 30... Help? :/

Don't mind about ur age, there is a right tym for everything, no nid to rush or envy others, God's timing is the best continue praying n. Telling God the kind of man u want, like me am 33yrs av had bad relationships until 2015 wen I discovered praying 🙏 is the key I told God exactly wat I wanted, but specific n. My dear 2017 God answered my prayers, we met online exactly wat I wanted n we r planning to get married, in order to have peace of mind don't envy others may God c u thru

hello Richywach,pretty ad,as Cutebabe  has inspired u above,there is time for everything,perharps u havent gotten the right(i dont mean perfect cos no one is perfect) person to enjoy life  with,that's the reason u have not yet married up to now,And if u rush on it ,u might find yourself having bad experience on it,but Richwach,i would like u to ask u a question cos i can see u are a somali thus a muslim,do u  marry outside your religion  and one partner dont want to converts to a muslim religion  they end up devorcing cos i havent met up to now one partner marrying  a muslim without  him or she  converting to muslim religion?

U r right mwaniki

Dear Richywatch,

Depending of the society you live in (modern open-minded or morally rigid), there are more or less single and eligible men in any age group, but never Zero. There is also no need to rush relationship matters or worry too much about them. Believe it or not, it is perfectly fine (and sometimes more fun) being single - and as a side effect you'd be happier and more attractive if you don't worry about your situation.
I hope you're not burdened by religious or other dogmatic issues, like the above posters. It is always better to be tolerant and accepting, and it often makes life more interesting, too.
My wife was in your age group when we met (I am older), and we are now married and have two kids - so it is definitely possible, although certainly not plannable.
Life remains an adventure and you have to take it as it comes!

Good luck!

beppi :

Dear Richywatch,

Depending of the society you live in (modern open-minded or morally rigid), there are more or less single and eligible men in any age group, but never Zero. There is also no need to rush relationship matters or worry too much about them. Believe it or not, it is perfectly fine (and sometimes more fun) being single - and as a side effect you'd be happier and more attractive if you don't worry about your situation.
I hope you're not burdened by religious or other dogmatic issues, like the above posters. It is always better to be tolerant and accepting, and it often makes life more interesting, too.
My wife was in your age group when we met (I am older), and we are now married and have two kids - so it is definitely possible, although certainly not plannable.
Life remains an adventure and you have to take it as it comes!

Good luck!

Well said Beppi, I don't think I could have put it better. :)

Your biggest problem is feeling you NEED to be married by 30.

Your main focus right now should actually be learning about yourself. Taking a step back and analyzing who you are as a person. You need to learn to be happy on your own. Don't expect someone to come into your life and have the responsibility of making sure you are happy. That is your own responsibility.

A partners job is not to make you happy. That is your own job. Their job is just to enhance the happiness you already have.

Take a long look at yourself while you are young and learn about yourself as much as you can so that in your next relationship, it wont matter if you have a marriage certificate or not. What will matter is that you both enhance each others happiness because you both are already happy to begin with and the thought of a healthy happy relationship is more important than the idea of a marriage.

Hi its my first tine writing here well its kinda hard
My Turkish languge is not yet good
But im tKing loungauge course next month
BenmDm omar ve ben da 30 yasenda
Ben memar designer
I hade long relationship for my bast 3 years i got married but i couldnt be successful in my relationship ya nothing to shame about i was apart of the reason cuse i couldn’t understand my wife and also she couldnt
Im not blaming her to full reason for divorce im alao a apart of it
But now im living the life to be single ita yea not good and notbad also 👌
Well im talking too much but thats all for my first one 😀

I feel you, coming from the same background as you i feel what you are going through. Honestly i believe you will meet someone soon in shaa Allah. Our culture can be unforgiving at times. But my question is why do you exactly want to get married? Is it to comply with the Somali cultural and parental demands or to fit in in the society? Marriage is a long term commitment. You should marry for that and not from the pressure you are feeling now for whatever reason.

Secondly, in life we have our own expectation but how realistic are those expectations. The bitter reality is we don't usually get what we want. That's where compromise comes in.

I agree with most of them. Don’t rush yourself in getting married otherwise you’ll end up marrying someone you don’t really like. The right guy will come at the right time and for the meantime focus your energy for your own development rather than trying to find that someone. But also be open to welcome your man into your life then take time to get to know him before making the commitment.

When I was young I planned to get married before 30. I had a long term relationship wirh someone I thought I’ll end up with. But when he broke up with me, I thought I would not be able to find the right guy on the right time anymore. Until one day I dated this guy who has been asking me out for a long time that I thought I would not like. After our dates I got to know him more and ended up to be the perfect match for me. He was in his early 30’s when I was in my late 20’s. Now we are happily married and I’m about to give birth to our first child. The best that ever happened. But my friends who are older than me has not married yet and I’m sure they will also find the right person for them too.

FYI ~ Your biggest mistake is comparing your life, to the lives of other people. The fact that those people are within your particular social circle, matters little, since we all make choices, in the past, that evolve, to become our own personal life circumstances of the present.

Giving yourself a “be married before I’m 30” time-line, can very easily lead you into an intellectually, and/or spiritually incompatible relationship, despite the fact that the physical-side of the relationship makes you feel like you’re some specially selected passenger, enjoying the trip of your life, on the Starship Voyager. It's a phenomenon called self-delusion.

May we suggest that you just “take it easy”, by letting life happen "naturally". Otherwise, desperation to get married, especially due to religious pressures, could easily lead you to: ~ https://youtu.be/upYF91cJJ2g

Good luck, :cheers:

May we suggest that you just “take it easy”, by letting life happen "naturally".

So your "Take it easy" suggestion actually suggest that let the natural happiness go wherever it takes you, that is, sleep with someone today and for your natural happiness, sleep with another one tomorrow and so on and on and on.

Regardless of any religious or personal pressures, do you think finding a sincere, loyal and helpful partner and pursuing life on a straight path is actually NOT NATURAL?

I'm sorry but I would take your suggestion as similar to spreading the lifestyle philosophy of being an animal who do anything and anywhere for their Natural Happiness.

There is a difference between animal and humans. Humans cover their assets while animal don't. We need to decide if we chose to be animals or humans.

It kind of repeats what others said but I was first married at 39 and now have two kids, so it can work out whenever it happens to work out.

I'll pass on advice, even though I don't feel like I've got life down to the point that I'm an authority on it. 

Put your life in order, and don't worry about that one detail.  When you have circumstances well situated and can completely stand on your own two feet you'll be in a really good place to be in a relationship on your own terms. 

I was upset for awhile earlier in my life about a relationship that didn't work out and not just letting that completely drop ended up being a bit of a mental handicap for me.  Even if you really regret something in your past, or care about someone you aren't with, or hope for something in the future you're not all that close to now, you don't need to drop the feeling, just make complete peace with the circumstances, accept them, and it will help resolve that tension.

thanks for sharing your experience with us!

schaz :

May we suggest that you just “take it easy”, by letting life happen "naturally".

So your "Take it easy" suggestion actually suggest that let the natural happiness go wherever it takes you, that is, sleep with someone today and for your natural happiness, sleep with another one tomorrow and so on and on and on.

Regardless of any religious or personal pressures, do you think finding a sincere, loyal and helpful partner and pursuing life on a straight path is actually NOT NATURAL?

I'm sorry but I would take your suggestion as similar to spreading the lifestyle philosophy of being an animal who do anything and anywhere for their Natural Happiness.

There is a difference between animal and humans. Humans cover their assets while animal don't. We need to decide if we chose to be animals or humans.

Thank you,..........for your most informative reply. You're absolutely correct there, sir! And, with that last paragraph statement, in particular. Cheerio, ;)

Thank you,..........for your most informative reply. You're absolutely correct there, sir! And, with that last paragraph statement, in particular. Cheerio, ;)

It's purely my personal opinion. I know many people do not agree.  However, on a sensible note, I urge everyone to just think over it and analyze if we're on a right way !!!

Cheers!

schaz :

Thank you,..........for your most informative reply. You're absolutely correct there, sir! And, with that last paragraph statement, in particular. Cheerio, ;)

It's purely my personal opinion. I know many people do not agree.  However, on a sensible note, I urge everyone to just think over it and analyze if we're on a right way !!!

Cheers!

Perhaps you'd like to add the following statement to your "personal opinion" repertoire ~ All things considered, the past 100 years of human (animal behavior) history, speaks "loudly", as to whether, or not, the human species is on a right way. Eh? :cool:

Perhaps you'd like to add the following statement to your "personal opinion" repertoire

I'd certainly not add anything else to my "Personal Opinion" because I don't want to  :cool:

schaz :

Perhaps you'd like to add the following statement to your "personal opinion" repertoire

I'd certainly not add anything else to my "Personal Opinion" because I don't want to  :cool:

History confirms the FACT: Pursuing one's wants (emotions), often leads to fool-hearty behavior, and subsequent catastrophe. However, your (apparently) most thoughtfully considered feedback,.......is sufficiently noted. Thank you, for that one! Cheers,:top:

Hi
For me if you get à right partner is more important whether in late 20s or 30s or 40s doesnt matter,and till you dont get just be patience untill It happens ,because Its better to leave certain things rather then have It befoe time , so dear tale your time and wait for your right partner ,

All thé best

Regards

Aryavrat

Ohhh MIDLIFE CRISIS

I am in the same situation like yours, 28 - single - career
I have this pressure around me to find someone to settle down with,
i have more options cause i am from an open country which i can freely choose to marry the man i love, but WHO?

I've realize, its just the norm of my environment that pressures me.
where in fact millennium era tells us to decide for ourselves,
we can have partner (only for companion till we grow old)
we can have child (even no partner for us to have successor)
we can have a  complete family whenever opportunity comes
i call it opportunity
cause having a complete family of your own is a blessing,
but remember, not all family are happily living together.
(I'd rather be single than end up with a jerk...)
and being single doesn't marked you as lonesome.

ps. love yourself, it attracts lovers... :-*

do not ever get married just because all the people surrounds you are married. I met my husband when im 20, we're married 2 years ago (when im 27, he is 31). We've been dating for 7 years before we tie the knot, and still this 2 years of marriage is really really really HARD for us. The only thing i love about our marriage is our kids. If i can go back, i just wanna stay single.

Interestingly, the OP, herself, has posted no recent reply comments. Anyway, explorer.bh, your's, is a spot-on post. Thanks, for sharing the thought.

I do recall an ancient statement of wisdom, written in the so-called holy scriptures, that people should be more focused upon the business of their own lives. Imagine, what a wonderful world it would be, if only the masses of people would adhere to those simple Rules of the Road, eh?

people have different priorities and goals, while some choose to settle ,get married and have kids  in their twenties some  think otherwise. One thing that I know is that you can't force someone to settle If they don't want to. That's why some marriage fail days after the honeymoon. Society norms have played a big role in 'forced marriages and marriages of convenience'. Some people choose to marry for the sake of ' What will people say' There are some that are stuck in unhappy marriages because they are afraid of being labelled as failures. In my opinion, every one should do what makes them happy. Life is too short,you can't please everyone. Be with whoever makes you happy. Don't trick someone into marriage, you will end up regretting.There are no  gold medals and  immortality certificates in marriage. Love yourself before  sharing your life with someone else. Cheers.

"ALL" of my friends are married now, I'm 27 as well and everyone I know with the same age is at least engaged now but I actually don't care at all about that, people around you getting married shouldn't matter because everyone is different and some "like me" are not really bothered about getting married and especially not concerned about it just because people my age did.

I say take your time and find someone that you really really wanna settle down with because this decision shouldn't be taken easily as it can have a whole lot of unsatisfying consequences if you choose a person that is not for you and believe it or not but I'm living a happier life than all of my friends because I'm taking my time with it, I have another 2 friends who are in their mid 30's who only recently got married and to be honest they seem much happier than the ones my age because they apparently took their time.

So, what I'm trying to say is enjoy freedom while you have it until you find someone who you genuinely want to spend a long long time with and in the meantime focus on your career and if you feel lonely sometimes you can always try to make more friends and/or just casually date someone who is a bit interesting to you, at least that won't leave you with a big emotional gap hopefully

Hi friend!
This is my first time writing on this forum.
Getting married and settling down is quite good thinking for every one. But this is your life, you just live once why need to live like others, settle down before 30? Whatever you do, happiness is important. When you are happy, you can make others happy. When you are happy, you attract positive people also. Enjoy your single life girl, God is bringing you the right Prince!!!

ARB360 :
schaz :

Perhaps you'd like to add the following statement to your "personal opinion" repertoire

I'd certainly not add anything else to my "Personal Opinion" because I don't want to  :cool:

History confirms the FACT: Pursuing one's wants (emotions), often leads to fool-hearty behavior, and subsequent catastrophe. However, your (apparently) most thoughtfully considered feedback,.......is sufficiently noted. Thank you, for that one! Cheers,:top:

You really know how to manipulate a simple thought into a complication by taking it to a bumpy road. When things are simple and straight, it's not really necessary to complex them out. Be proud of what you (We) are and if one is keen to adopt the nature of any other species and call as a "freedom of expression", no one would stop you and eventually you'd be called for what you actually do in that stance. Clear though?

Hi  i agree with your thoughts in fact you are right.

I never understand that why everybody have to have someone in their life or have to get marry? This is my life; I have to be the one who gets the decision especially while it is quite important as this.

I am 41 years old and broke with my ex boy friend app 3 years ago and I am still alone and indeed; this is my taken decision. Not for any body or not for something else; my decision.

Marriage or have someone in your life is the same. You have to do this when you meet with the right person whom you love; not as a mandatory.

It can be at 30, 40, 50; whatever; just do when you really want to do and loved to do...

Wish you luck
Zel

Some one has written love yourself and that's true when we love oneself we attract others and hope this will workout in your case

Regards
Aryavrat

Zel I agree with you

You are right @Cutebaby....

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