Interfaith marriage abroad

Ok, Kristina is asking multiple questions. I can add a few extra points.

First, about a Malaysian marrying outside and then living in Malaysia, the first thing is that such a wedding is greatly discouraged. Part of the reason is that the Malay's father is unlikely to be present (abroad) or even approve of the marriage and this means you are eloping. Its the eloping the govt doesnt like because no matter what the relationship is, there is an assumption that this was against the will of someone and government, in court later, will want to get to the bottom of it.

Second, and this is very important to the Malays, the venue of the foreign wedding (mosque) should be one that JAKIM approves of. If they have no ties to any mosque in Russia, I highly recommend not marrying there. Is there an approved list? No. No, because when you contact JAKIM they will tell you straight off to marry in Malaysia. This means you have to research. Example, the Malaysian Embassy in Russia should be a source but they will play dumb and recommend that you go back and marry in Malaysia. So you go to the mosques, one by one, and ask the Imams about who has ties to Malaysia and/or the Embassy, because the Embassy must sign and approve your marriage certificate that you got from the mosque. If the Embassy doesnt approve the mosque, the government in Malaysia wont either.

Third, should you proceed, not only must you carefully document everything but take photos like crazy and leave them in your phone or camera because you will be submitting phone or camera as evidence later. The dates and times of the photos must match the paperwork. You photo the wedding itself on Thursday, the certificate must bear the date too, or next day. If the certificate is dated Thursday and your wedding photos are dated in the phone as 3 weeks later, this will be caught and you are in trouble and not approved. Part of the reason they hate elopment is because there are MANY phony marriages done abroad and the government tries to catch them. Have tons of abundant PROOF of what you did. Have witnesses and videos of meetings and everything. Guard it!

Fourth, you will have a court trial before you can register the marriage here. Its critical to your case that you have every detail of process memorized, from how you met, why you decided to marry, what happened in the wedding, what was said by you and others. Names, dates, times places. The trial will take about 9 months, during which time you cant leave the country. Immigration will accommodate the visa--at a cost of about RM100 per month. So you dont have to ask why 9 months, its because when you give testimony, you are only allowed about 5 minutes. Then the case is continued to about 3 weeks later and you talk for 5 minutes more. The case is done in pieces, not one go. This is done this way to see if you are telling the truth because its very hard to keep lies in your head for so long. Real truth is always remembered. Also, you give testimony separately from your spouse. One of you gives testimony while the other waits outside. If you both do not have the same story, the marriage is unlikely to be approved. The government seeks to know, are these people really in love? was it a love match? did the wedding really occur and there are no lies or forged documents? does the malay family like the accept the non-malay spouse?

Fifth, the court will attempt to force you to hire a lawyer at the time you file your case. You do NOT need a lawyer, you can do everything yourself, but you should consult a lawyer who you ask to stay in the background of the case and advise you (for cost) if needed. Sometimes, a lawyer can be most helpful to represent you in the penalty phase but again, its not a requirement.  While in the case, any papers you have in a foreign language will require you to hire a translator through the Magistrate Court to put everything into the Malay language. Court proceedings are all done in the Malay language, you may have to hire an Interpreter to stand with you in court. This fact alone may cause you to hire a lawyer from the start but doing so can cost you RM2000-3500.

Sixth. At the end of the case you WILL be fined for elopment. The stated penalty is RM2000 and the government will send a prosecutor to force the Judge to invoke it.  The prosecutor will cruelly argue that the foreigner is a liar and a cheat no good at all for society! The Judge has discretion and if he likes you he can reduce the fine to RM500 or RM700, for example. But expect to pay, no doubt. You can also write a letter to the Judge and appeal a heavy fine but that is not likely to help. He will do what he likes to do. If you are arrogant and argumentative, expect to pay the maximum. Be pleasant, sincere, calm, deferential and get out of there with the lightest penalty.

Seventh, do not under any circumstances whatsoever hire a so-called "marriage agent." Aside from any promises they make, the court will ask you straight off if you had one and if so, likely stop the proceedings and your approval is in jeopardy.

Eighth, if you marry outside and stay outside, then you only have to worry about meeting Civil guidelines in the other city/country. Example, if you marry in a mosque in Moscow, you follow the rules to register that marriage with Civil authorities there, even if it means a new wedding. Then you can forget all about Malaysia. But.....you can come AS married people for 6 months and if you leave again, there is no problem. If one day, say in 10 years, you decide to come back and live in Malaysia permanently, you will have to do the entire process outlined here. For this reason, follow these ideas even if you dont intend to live here so that if you change your mind one day, you are all ready to finish things here properly.

Ninth. Yes, you are required to quickly register after the wedding. But lets talk about a reality. A Malay and Russian meet while students in USA. They marry however they do, like in the Drive-Through Wedding in Las Vegas. No conversion, no mosque, no embassy, no nothing, and go about their life. One day, when they are 90 years old, they decide to live in Malaysia. The government cannot say you are not married, you ARE, and will have to accommodate a registration SOMEHOW. It may be an entirely different procedure than what we have here, there may or may not be penalties, you may have to convert and re-marry, nobody really knows.

There are many more points about this but this is the general outline. Obviously, if you can marry in Malaysia you can avoid several problems, but you also raise new problems too, especially should families be directly involved. You should understand from the beginning that the government has never liked marriages to foreigners and makes things purposely difficult to discourage them. To do this, you both have to be strong and patient. My general advice is to continue to research and ask questions so that you are fully informed of processes before you marry. Personally, I highly recommend as a place to start, a mosque in Russia. Meet with the Imam and discuss everything and see what they say and can do for you.

Forgive me if i listed any items you already knew. I was just writing as I thought of things. Its 130am and my brain is fried. Goodnite!