I had a post about my marriage problem several days ago,
and I am still struggling.
This time, I want to ask about legal side of this problem.
I am Korean male, born 1983.
I got married with a Vietnamese female for 2 years (+1 year of dating)
We had an argument over some issue several weeks ago, and now she is staying in her mother's house since 2 weeks ago.
All she is saying now is, she want divorce, she don't feel interested in me(husband) anymore.
I tried to get her back really hard but every time I tried she just went further back.
Our marriage was overall quiet. we didn't have much problem except that she think I don't understand her. we already had fight over this problem several times before.
She was student when we have met, and I kept supported her studying (both financially & emotionally) after marriage until she finally got a job 2 month ago.
Now she just want to get divorced before it is too late to start a new life.
But I don't want that happen. I want to improve myself up to her standard and I want to learn how to make her feel happier.
I know it sounds silly.
But the thing is, she is saying that she will take legal step to get divorced with or without my consent.
I don't have any measurable property here in Vietnam. We don't have baby yet.
What will happen in this case?
Does she really can get us divorced without my consent? she told me she will use some kind of service for divorce process, so I don't have to even sign the paper, she said. is it really possible? for me, it is hard to believe.
All I want is saving this marriage.
But until she changes her mind by herself, I think I will not try to change her mind anymore. every effort now only make her draw further.
Vietnamese law for unwanted divorce?
Don't know about VN but in the US... Thete is a summary divorce; no assets no children, simplified divorce. Quick and easy divorce! Divorce can be a unilateral procedure, that is, one person can divorce without the other' s approval.
Reading your post, it sounds as if your marriage is over! Unless she is willing to seek counseling to save the marriage, but again, according to you, her mind is made up.
Life is not over if she divorces you. Your life with her will definitely be over unless you try to cooperate with her and establish a friendship with her. You say you want to change? She will not give you the chance while living together, but, establishing a good relationship with her may give you a future with her in your life. After divorce... As friends...you can begin, as you said, to change and if you both still communicate, you may have a future together.
At this time, you seem to have no control of your marriage and soon you will have no relationship with the woman you care about. You say " YOU CARE ABOUT HER" then stop wanting your way, have a future plan, and establish a friendship with her.
You seem to want "Instant Relief" and this is not happening. I've seen in the past where separation is a good thing, and couples take time to improve on themselves. Whatever she disliked about you, another woman you marry may also find unattractive or unacceptable after the honeymoon elapses.
Good luck in changing YOU! Marriage is never about what you want. Everyday it is about making sure your mate is happy... You'll learn as you give all of yourself for her, she will give back the same, or more. This is universal, so don't think this is a Vietnamese/Korean problem. People will eventially rebel with a tyrant or when abused. Yes, abused. Emotions neglected or being subliminally or openly controlled eventually comes to an end.
Good Luck with "Change"
Changing yourself just to please her is just wrong. Change yourself because you want to change is the correct thing to do. Life will go on without her, and one day you will look back and see it was meant to be that way.
Yes, she can divorce with or without your consent. For goodness sakes let this one go. Even the best of these gals is hard to please or figure out. Hope you move past this. There are plenty more fish in the sea. No need to keep one that doers not want you. I am in the same boat. Life is to short to put up with it. Next year at this time this will just be an historical memory and you will have met someone else and perhaps find happiness.
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