In retrospect, would you move again to the Philippines?

Nielsen Flute I appreciate your comments. Some may want to condemn you for the generalizations, but I too have experienced much if not all of what you mentioned. I am pretty sure their are others who might feel the same. There are certain patterns that cultures tend to follow - commenting on them does not make one racist. Thanks for putting it into words.

Jefrsmith wrote:

I would never come back here again if I were ever able to get out of here.

Please share your story Jef.

Nielsen Flute, all right, since you asked . . . At the risk of sounding "racist" as one or two of the commenters in this thread unfairly mentioned. . .

(it is not racist to (a) say why you do not want to be somewhere - it is person's opinion and should be respected, and (b) commenting about the common behaviors of people within a culture that you have directly observed or have experienced [which is how some research is conducted] should also be acceptable without "racist" accusations)

. . . from someone with firsthand experience, I will tell you why I would never come back here again if I were able to get out -- but pardon me, I noticed that this reply has become quite lengthy (I could write a book from my experiences here).

These days, I am in my own personal prison. I do not go out anymore, and live within the walls of my slightly sound-proofed rental house (constantly bombarded with noise pollution on all sides) in a supposed middle-class "subdivision", in a so-called city in Cavite. It wasn't always this way. How did I get to this point?

To begin, I too came here googly-eyed as many of the newcomers do to start a new chapter in my life (I was once in the military, and lost my parents in the US in a tragic accident) having fallen in love (lust) with the simple life of the environment, the beauty of the women, and the apparent friendliness of the people. That did not last long very long at all before I started noticing things were not quite what they had appeared to be.

I did not come to the Philippines bringing my foreign expectations and lifestyle expecting to live in a large house with house boys and maids. I came to live among the people and embrace the simple life. But what I thought was the simple life turned out to be a day-to-day struggle to survive. I have been hungry, displaced, poor, weak, deathly ill, and more. But the plight that I have had to endure still goes on today -- with the people.

I'm not living here on retirement or some other source of income. I tried to start three businesses and was left high and dry by the Filipino side who took liberties with my resources. It seemed that wherever I would go I would become a target for some kind of scam (it seems to be acceptable among some to take from foreigners because apparently we are all rich). Eventually, I had to find local work (been there, done that). 

I have also found over the years that people I speak to do not seem to understand much of what I am talking about, even when speaking Filipino. They will nod their heads and smile, but in the end did not understand what you and they thought they understood. So, misunderstandings are a staple here.

When I go to stores I am avoided like the plague or brushed aside (yes, I am sure it has something to do with being shy, but they have not learned until now how to master it for the sake of the person they are supposed to be helping). There is very little sense of customer service from my experience. The attitude seems to be that the customer is a beggar because 100 other people will be right behind that one. I wouldn't call it prejudice as some might, but ignoring me (or pretending to).

Neighbors in subdivisions (I've lived in several, so I am not basing observations on "one" case) raise roosters, dogs are relegated to living in a small cage and in time go mad barking incessantly, neighbors playing their music loud, videoke any day, any time day, or night, burning of leaves and trash, non-stop renovations to houses (not construction of houses), etc. In other words, the people I have encountered have little or any concern or consideration for their neighbors.

These are all patterns of behavior observed for twenty years. The people I have encountered generally have a selfish, childish -- "me" first and what "I" want attitude to the extent of the hardship of neighbors, at a level I have never encountered before (I've lived in two other countries outside of the U.S.A.). This is not a personality issue like I might encounter elsewhere, but as much as I have observed, a cultural issue - a way of thinking. I have experience in research and one area of my research in the past was the differences in cultures (intercultural communication), and it matches up.

Further, I used to jog outside but stopped because the constant stares, cat calls, "hey Joes", and pollution started getting to me. Now, I run in the small space behind my house.

I used to ride my motorcycle everywhere, now it is rotting in my garage because I do not want to be on unsafe roads.

I used to work outside the house, but can no longer stand the filth and pollution.

I used to smile at my neighbors, now I don't because they behave uncivilizedly (see behaviors above).

I used to speak kindly to people, now I speak directly to them (which goes against my grain) because they do not 'get' polite requests, but rather power.

I could go on, but I'm kinda tired of writing this (and the readers are likely going to be tired of reading it).

The environment reminds me of two things from Star Trek (the old series) where in one episode the people walk about calm and at midnight they go nuts. The other reminder is of Klingons who have technology but have not grown to more civilized attitudes or behaviors.

I eventually married a Filipina who is the best person I know; a woman who I love dearly, and a woman who puts up with so much from me. I have two young children who are in a decent private school who are not equipped to understand the pressures I feel from living here (I try to shield them from it).

My wife has an in-depth infrastructure of connections and friends where we live. I earn enough for our comfortable living here but it would not do in a first world country. 

Bottom line, I cannot uproot my family right now and bring them to a foreign land and start over. And, I do not think it would be healthy for us to be apart if I moved abroad to work. So, I'm stuck here in my own private prison until I am released. But if I ever do get out of here, I would never return. I'm tired and I'm burned out.

Hi there,
In some ways I agree with you. We smile though our heart is breaking through sadness and tears from yearly natural disasters, you will still find smiling faces... And find life, is still worthwhile here in the Philippines.
Lis M. 🌻🌷🌻

Jefrsmith wrote:

Nielsen Flute, all right, since you asked . . . At the risk of sounding "racist" as one or two of the commenters in this thread unfairly mentioned. . .

(it is not racist to (a) say why you do not want to be somewhere - it is person's opinion and should be respected, and (b) commenting about the common behaviors of people within a culture that you have directly observed or have experienced [which is how some research is conducted] should also be acceptable without "racist" accusations)

. . . from someone with firsthand experience, I will tell you why I would never come back here again if I were able to get out -- but pardon me, I noticed that this reply has become quite lengthy (I could write a book from my experiences here).

These days, I am in my own personal prison. I do not go out anymore, and live within the walls of my slightly sound-proofed rental house (constantly bombarded with noise pollution on all sides) in a supposed middle-class "subdivision", in a so-called city in Cavite. It wasn't always this way. How did I get to this point?

To begin, I too came here googly-eyed as many of the newcomers do to start a new chapter in my life (I was once in the military, and lost my parents in the US in a tragic accident) having fallen in love (lust) with the simple life of the environment, the beauty of the women, and the apparent friendliness of the people. That did not last long very long at all before I started noticing things were not quite what they had appeared to be.

I did not come to the Philippines bringing my foreign expectations and lifestyle expecting to live in a large house with house boys and maids. I came to live among the people and embrace the simple life. But what I thought was the simple life turned out to be a day-to-day struggle to survive. I have been hungry, displaced, poor, weak, deathly ill, and more. But the plight that I have had to endure still goes on today -- with the people.

I'm not living here on retirement or some other source of income. I tried to start three businesses and was left high and dry by the Filipino side who took liberties with my resources. It seemed that wherever I would go I would become a target for some kind of scam (it seems to be acceptable among some to take from foreigners because apparently we are all rich). Eventually, I had to find local work (been there, done that). 

I have also found over the years that people I speak to do not seem to understand much of what I am talking about, even when speaking Filipino. They will nod their heads and smile, but in the end did not understand what you and they thought they understood. So, misunderstandings are a staple here.

When I go to stores I am avoided like the plague or brushed aside (yes, I am sure it has something to do with being shy, but they have not learned until now how to master it for the sake of the person they are supposed to be helping). There is very little sense of customer service from my experience. The attitude seems to be that the customer is a beggar because 100 other people will be right behind that one. I wouldn't call it prejudice as some might, but ignoring me (or pretending to).

Neighbors in subdivisions (I've lived in several, so I am not basing observations on "one" case) raise roosters, dogs are relegated to living in a small cage and in time go mad barking incessantly, neighbors playing their music loud, videoke any day, any time day, or night, burning of leaves and trash, non-stop renovations to houses (not construction of houses), etc. In other words, the people I have encountered have little or any concern or consideration for their neighbors.

These are all patterns of behavior observed for twenty years. The people I have encountered generally have a selfish, childish -- "me" first and what "I" want attitude to the extent of the hardship of neighbors, at a level I have never encountered before (I've lived in two other countries outside of the U.S.A.). This is not a personality issue like I might encounter elsewhere, but as much as I have observed, a cultural issue - a way of thinking. I have experience in research and one area of my research in the past was the differences in cultures (intercultural communication), and it matches up.

Further, I used to jog outside but stopped because the constant stares, cat calls, "hey Joes", and pollution started getting to me. Now, I run in the small space behind my house.

I used to ride my motorcycle everywhere, now it is rotting in my garage because I do not want to be on unsafe roads.

I used to work outside the house, but can no longer stand the filth and pollution.

I used to smile at my neighbors, now I don't because they behave uncivilizedly (see behaviors above).

I used to speak kindly to people, now I speak directly to them (which goes against my grain) because they do not 'get' polite requests, but rather power.

I could go on, but I'm kinda tired of writing this (and the readers are likely going to be tired of reading it).

The environment reminds me of two things from Star Trek (the old series) where in one episode the people walk about calm and at midnight they go nuts. The other reminder is of Klingons who have technology but have not grown to more civilized attitudes or behaviors.

I eventually married a Filipina who is the best person I know; a woman who I love dearly, and a woman who puts up with so much from me. I have two young children who are in a decent private school who are not equipped to understand the pressures I feel from living here (I try to shield them from it).

My wife has an in-depth infrastructure of connections and friends where we live. I earn enough for our comfortable living here but it would not do in a first world country. 

Bottom line, I cannot uproot my family right now and bring them to a foreign land and start over. And, I do not think it would be healthy for us to be apart if I moved abroad to work. So, I'm stuck here in my own private prison until I am released. But if I ever do get out of here, I would never return. I'm tired and I'm burned out.

Thanks buddy for that sobering read. I always love hearing realistic experiences here because in truth the Philippines is a corrupt backward country with hateful people and pervasive graft. Some people are only fortunate to see it with objective eyes.

I've decided I will slowly stop speaking truth to power on Philippine forums and Youtube videos since you are met with skepticism from deluded boomer expats and denial from salty locals. It's one big circlekerk and while one's experience might start off well, this country has a way of twisting reality into something perverse and satanic. The country is one big trap, simply speaking, and the longer you stay it IS harder to leave as your experience details. The faces become less friendly, the costs start mounting, and it eats your soul away.

The sun has set on this country in my opinion. Way better options for quality of life, cost of living, and women in Asia. Its heyday is long gone.

Just to balance out my last post since I was in a bad mood, I think the Philippines does Western food very well esp in Cebu, AC and pockets of Manila. Some great eats actually.

The visa scheme is outstanding. Continuous extensions up to 3 years.

Can get by with English.

The women are usually very sweet and affable and very tender despite lying a lot or not being the brightest.

If there were more respect/less racism in the society and it had a better vibe and was a bit safer and had less bureaucracy I'd probably relocate to Cebu full time. Not a terrible place to live.

Most of my hate comes from being in Manila too long.

Have always thought of the Philippines as a good place to retire, not a place to actually work and raise a family.  It would appear the biggest complaint currently being expressed is that one can get stuck in or live in the wrong place too long.  This is why retirees have the advantage, we can rent where we like, leave when we like.

Retirees can rent when they like and leave when the like, but it has been the same principle for me: never buy a house so that you can move without delay. However, you are still faced with the multiple issues mentioned in my original reply. Have you experienced any of that?

I think being in Manila would do that to most reasonable people. What gets me is the often absence of reason in my interactions with people here.

Plenty of noise here, have learned to live with the dogs, cats and roosters,  not much construction or karaoke here.  I have always been treated with dignity and respect in all my interactions, either in the barangay or shopping wherever we go.  I don't waste time trying to discuss complex ideas with the locals, have enjoyable interactions with the local expats and their wives every few weeks.
             I enjoy walking about 100 yards up to the national road and then either up and down the road or laps in the barangay basketball court for 35 minutes every mornings .   Usually a good reminder of why I will never drive here, why I like to ride in either vans or buses.  This I don't miss, and back in the USA I ride the bus for free, drive very little.
               We can live here much cheaper than in the USA, the WiFi is not as good or reliable, but It is a luxury, not really required.  Electricity was off from 8:40 AM to 4:40 PM yesterday, same as on 2/8, so I enjoyed the day by reading a book.  Thief by Clive Cussler takes place during the Taft administration  before WWI.  Nice day to be in a time machine.  In addition, being here means it is only 100 minute flight to Hong Kong, little over 3 hours to Singapore.  Can take cruises from Singapore to Hong Kong, stopping in Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam .  Also close enough to Taiwan and Japan for future travels.
             I am content with the choices I have made, knowing what I enjoy and how to do it where and when.  Would not change anything I have done.

Wow so many hurting people who are just vending their feeling. I sense the deep hurt in some of them.

I first came Philippines in 1971. President Marcos was in office. I was a Marine. Came again 1976, then 1987-1989. Then moved back here in 2015.

Living here is much different than visiting. It's been my experience in that if you are easily angered this is not the best place to live.

Like any place there is the good, bad and ugly. Here is no different. My observation leads me to believe that there is a large mind set among some people it's me first. Very little regard given to their neighbor. I have experienced the loud music all times day and night. The lack enforcement of law. People not following guidelines clearly communicated here. Along with issues of pollution and gross violation of environmental issues. A lot corruption.

I think some of this is due to lack knowledge, lack wisdom, lack discipline, in general wrong ways of thinking.

But on other hand I see Great possible potential for country. I see a people who are very resourceful. Who take a little and make a lot out of it. Who have close family ties. Who don't sweat the small stuff. Who don't really complain so much.

I am here as missionary. I have learn to accept the Philippines for what it is. I try not to focus on past. Because I am send here by God, I would do same thing again. I do my best not to sweat small stuff. Choose my battles wisely. Know when speak, be quite and when to confront things.

One thing I really love about being here is cost living. I don't care to drive here but I do. I have my own space which I value. And I love simple life here.

Sharper1 wrote:

There is NO PEACE AND QUIET in the Philipines.

I have yet to find peace and quiet here.

Sharper1 wrote:

I really can't do anything without being assaulted by the noise....and it's EVERYWHERE.... I have headphones to blare my music, but honestly, I don't want to have to continually wear them just to escape the noise...

I with you there. So, so true.

Yep noise is a big problem in Asia, not only here in the Philippines. If you are noise sensitive avoid most of Asia

samangelevski wrote:

...then  the fumes out of the car, make no sense to me or any of it.

I agree. I don't think there is much sense.

@Jefrsmith Reading your testimony my first word in my mind was "depression". If I have a simple advice you should talk about it to your wife as you seem to be very in love to her or/and maybe a professional psychologist.
Beyond the case of Jefrsmith there is no published reasearches on the depression in the expat community. There is this general idea that an expat is privileged, rich and has chosen to leave his own country. And so an expat cant be under depression. In Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand where I have living for several years, I met French expats who were also in this situation. These are not the expats who are sent by their companies for 3 years, but expats who are totally emerged in the country. One key problem I think is communication, and being fluent in the local language

Jefrsmith wrote:

Nielsen Flute, all right, since you asked . . . At the risk of sounding "racist" as one or two of the commenters in this thread unfairly mentioned. . .

(it is not racist to (a) say why you do not want to be somewhere - it is person's opinion and should be respected, and (b) commenting about the common behaviors of people within a culture that you have directly observed or have experienced [which is how some research is conducted] should also be acceptable without "racist" accusations)

. . . from someone with firsthand experience, I will tell you why I would never come back here again if I were able to get out -- but pardon me, I noticed that this reply has become quite lengthy (I could write a book from my experiences here).

These days, I am in my own personal prison. I do not go out anymore, and live within the walls of my slightly sound-proofed rental house (constantly bombarded with noise pollution on all sides) in a supposed middle-class "subdivision", in a so-called city in Cavite. It wasn't always this way. How did I get to this point?

To begin, I too came here googly-eyed as many of the newcomers do to start a new chapter in my life (I was once in the military, and lost my parents in the US in a tragic accident) having fallen in love (lust) with the simple life of the environment, the beauty of the women, and the apparent friendliness of the people. That did not last long very long at all before I started noticing things were not quite what they had appeared to be.

I did not come to the Philippines bringing my foreign expectations and lifestyle expecting to live in a large house with house boys and maids. I came to live among the people and embrace the simple life. But what I thought was the simple life turned out to be a day-to-day struggle to survive. I have been hungry, displaced, poor, weak, deathly ill, and more. But the plight that I have had to endure still goes on today -- with the people.

I'm not living here on retirement or some other source of income. I tried to start three businesses and was left high and dry by the Filipino side who took liberties with my resources. It seemed that wherever I would go I would become a target for some kind of scam (it seems to be acceptable among some to take from foreigners because apparently we are all rich). Eventually, I had to find local work (been there, done that). 

I have also found over the years that people I speak to do not seem to understand much of what I am talking about, even when speaking Filipino. They will nod their heads and smile, but in the end did not understand what you and they thought they understood. So, misunderstandings are a staple here.

When I go to stores I am avoided like the plague or brushed aside (yes, I am sure it has something to do with being shy, but they have not learned until now how to master it for the sake of the person they are supposed to be helping). There is very little sense of customer service from my experience. The attitude seems to be that the customer is a beggar because 100 other people will be right behind that one. I wouldn't call it prejudice as some might, but ignoring me (or pretending to).

Neighbors in subdivisions (I've lived in several, so I am not basing observations on "one" case) raise roosters, dogs are relegated to living in a small cage and in time go mad barking incessantly, neighbors playing their music loud, videoke any day, any time day, or night, burning of leaves and trash, non-stop renovations to houses (not construction of houses), etc. In other words, the people I have encountered have little or any concern or consideration for their neighbors.

These are all patterns of behavior observed for twenty years. The people I have encountered generally have a selfish, childish -- "me" first and what "I" want attitude to the extent of the hardship of neighbors, at a level I have never encountered before (I've lived in two other countries outside of the U.S.A.). This is not a personality issue like I might encounter elsewhere, but as much as I have observed, a cultural issue - a way of thinking. I have experience in research and one area of my research in the past was the differences in cultures (intercultural communication), and it matches up.

Further, I used to jog outside but stopped because the constant stares, cat calls, "hey Joes", and pollution started getting to me. Now, I run in the small space behind my house.

I used to ride my motorcycle everywhere, now it is rotting in my garage because I do not want to be on unsafe roads.

I used to work outside the house, but can no longer stand the filth and pollution.

I used to smile at my neighbors, now I don't because they behave uncivilizedly (see behaviors above).

I used to speak kindly to people, now I speak directly to them (which goes against my grain) because they do not 'get' polite requests, but rather power.

I could go on, but I'm kinda tired of writing this (and the readers are likely going to be tired of reading it).

The environment reminds me of two things from Star Trek (the old series) where in one episode the people walk about calm and at midnight they go nuts. The other reminder is of Klingons who have technology but have not grown to more civilized attitudes or behaviors.

I eventually married a Filipina who is the best person I know; a woman who I love dearly, and a woman who puts up with so much from me. I have two young children who are in a decent private school who are not equipped to understand the pressures I feel from living here (I try to shield them from it).

My wife has an in-depth infrastructure of connections and friends where we live. I earn enough for our comfortable living here but it would not do in a first world country. 

Bottom line, I cannot uproot my family right now and bring them to a foreign land and start over. And, I do not think it would be healthy for us to be apart if I moved abroad to work. So, I'm stuck here in my own private prison until I am released. But if I ever do get out of here, I would never return. I'm tired and I'm burned out.

AMEN 2 EVERYTHING you just said..I have 8 more years of this sht and im going home. There is a complete disconnect with the word respect in this country. IVE lived and traveled in 15 other countrys and NEVER delt with this type of attitude.
Honestly I believe its the gov fault, one allowing the people 2 basically self govern themselves then creating a Constitution that basically says if ur not a flip, dont live here just come on vacation and spend ur money.. Even as a permanent resident i cant own a gun, own 100% of my business or even own land. What message does that send to people??
Now u come 2 my country legally the door is open to u... how self centered can 1 country be.
Then there is religion.. lol go 2 church on sunday ask 4 forgiveness then back 2 the same bs lies the next week.
Speaking of lies, ive been lied 2 more times in the last 9 yrs then my entire life. What is up with that?
Then there r the brgy cpts, dumb as fk. We have 1 that is only 2nd yr hs and hes in charge. We r now filing a  case against him because he wont allow my contractor 2 build me a gate. Long story. Basically he has absolutely no rite 2 do that unless im breaking a law which we r not.
I come from a very disapline background, the military and even tho ive mellowed, its still a CF here.
I Moved 2 Davao for fishing and diving both of which r sht so i tried to help. Said lets make our area a fish sanctuary and we will build a couple of payaos 4 tuna. I said i will pay 4 it all. All the locals were 4 it except gov and a few braindead and thy cried 2 the mayor and the mayor shut us down.
U no i visited this place for 5 yrs b4 deciding 2 move. All my buddys say just wait until u get , then tell us how much u still love it...lol boy were they correct.
I even came bringing a million pesos worth of books, computers tv from my US legal NON PROFIT. But win i got here all the hands were out begging 4 stuff, including government trying 2 pinch me. Then win it was all gone not one ty, kiss my butt or anything.. WOW.
SO Sorry 2 ramble but u struck a nerve...lol
Tanks 4 d post. Ur dead on...
A million more storys to be told but will save them 4 a book..lol
8 years im outta here.....

Tsarge1985 wrote:

Jefrsmith wrote:

Nielsen Flute, all right, since you asked . . . At the risk of sounding "racist" as one or two of the commenters in this thread unfairly mentioned. . .

(it is not racist to (a) say why you do not want to be somewhere - it is person's opinion and should be respected, and (b) commenting about the common behaviors of people within a culture that you have directly observed or have experienced [which is how some research is conducted] should also be acceptable without "racist" accusations)

. . . from someone with firsthand experience, I will tell you why I would never come back here again if I were able to get out -- but pardon me, I noticed that this reply has become quite lengthy (I could write a book from my experiences here).

These days, I am in my own personal prison. I do not go out anymore, and live within the walls of my slightly sound-proofed rental house (constantly bombarded with noise pollution on all sides) in a supposed middle-class "subdivision", in a so-called city in Cavite. It wasn't always this way. How did I get to this point?

To begin, I too came here googly-eyed as many of the newcomers do to start a new chapter in my life (I was once in the military, and lost my parents in the US in a tragic accident) having fallen in love (lust) with the simple life of the environment, the beauty of the women, and the apparent friendliness of the people. That did not last long very long at all before I started noticing things were not quite what they had appeared to be.

I did not come to the Philippines bringing my foreign expectations and lifestyle expecting to live in a large house with house boys and maids. I came to live among the people and embrace the simple life. But what I thought was the simple life turned out to be a day-to-day struggle to survive. I have been hungry, displaced, poor, weak, deathly ill, and more. But the plight that I have had to endure still goes on today -- with the people.

I'm not living here on retirement or some other source of income. I tried to start three businesses and was left high and dry by the Filipino side who took liberties with my resources. It seemed that wherever I would go I would become a target for some kind of scam (it seems to be acceptable among some to take from foreigners because apparently we are all rich). Eventually, I had to find local work (been there, done that). 

I have also found over the years that people I speak to do not seem to understand much of what I am talking about, even when speaking Filipino. They will nod their heads and smile, but in the end did not understand what you and they thought they understood. So, misunderstandings are a staple here.

When I go to stores I am avoided like the plague or brushed aside (yes, I am sure it has something to do with being shy, but they have not learned until now how to master it for the sake of the person they are supposed to be helping). There is very little sense of customer service from my experience. The attitude seems to be that the customer is a beggar because 100 other people will be right behind that one. I wouldn't call it prejudice as some might, but ignoring me (or pretending to).

Neighbors in subdivisions (I've lived in several, so I am not basing observations on "one" case) raise roosters, dogs are relegated to living in a small cage and in time go mad barking incessantly, neighbors playing their music loud, videoke any day, any time day, or night, burning of leaves and trash, non-stop renovations to houses (not construction of houses), etc. In other words, the people I have encountered have little or any concern or consideration for their neighbors.

These are all patterns of behavior observed for twenty years. The people I have encountered generally have a selfish, childish -- "me" first and what "I" want attitude to the extent of the hardship of neighbors, at a level I have never encountered before (I've lived in two other countries outside of the U.S.A.). This is not a personality issue like I might encounter elsewhere, but as much as I have observed, a cultural issue - a way of thinking. I have experience in research and one area of my research in the past was the differences in cultures (intercultural communication), and it matches up.

Further, I used to jog outside but stopped because the constant stares, cat calls, "hey Joes", and pollution started getting to me. Now, I run in the small space behind my house.

I used to ride my motorcycle everywhere, now it is rotting in my garage because I do not want to be on unsafe roads.

I used to work outside the house, but can no longer stand the filth and pollution.

I used to smile at my neighbors, now I don't because they behave uncivilizedly (see behaviors above).

I used to speak kindly to people, now I speak directly to them (which goes against my grain) because they do not 'get' polite requests, but rather power.

I could go on, but I'm kinda tired of writing this (and the readers are likely going to be tired of reading it).

The environment reminds me of two things from Star Trek (the old series) where in one episode the people walk about calm and at midnight they go nuts. The other reminder is of Klingons who have technology but have not grown to more civilized attitudes or behaviors.

I eventually married a Filipina who is the best person I know; a woman who I love dearly, and a woman who puts up with so much from me. I have two young children who are in a decent private school who are not equipped to understand the pressures I feel from living here (I try to shield them from it).

My wife has an in-depth infrastructure of connections and friends where we live. I earn enough for our comfortable living here but it would not do in a first world country. 

Bottom line, I cannot uproot my family right now and bring them to a foreign land and start over. And, I do not think it would be healthy for us to be apart if I moved abroad to work. So, I'm stuck here in my own private prison until I am released. But if I ever do get out of here, I would never return. I'm tired and I'm burned out.

AMEN 2 EVERYTHING you just said..I have 8 more years of this sht and im going home. There is a complete disconnect with the word respect in this country. IVE lived and traveled in 15 other countrys and NEVER delt with this type of attitude.
Honestly I believe its the gov fault, one allowing the people 2 basically self govern themselves then creating a Constitution that basically says if ur not a flip, dont live here just come on vacation and spend ur money.. Even as a permanent resident i cant own a gun, own 100% of my business or even own land. What message does that send to people??
Now u come 2 my country legally the door is open to u... how self centered can 1 country be.
Then there is religion.. lol go 2 church on sunday ask 4 forgiveness then back 2 the same bs lies the next week.
Speaking of lies, ive been lied 2 more times in the last 9 yrs then my entire life. What is up with that?
Then there r the brgy cpts, dumb as fk. We have 1 that is only 2nd yr hs and hes in charge. We r now filing a  case against him because he wont allow my contractor 2 build me a gate. Long story. Basically he has absolutely no rite 2 do that unless im breaking a law which we r not.
I come from a very disapline background, the military and even tho ive mellowed, its still a CF here.
I Moved 2 Davao for fishing and diving both of which r sht so i tried to help. Said lets make our area a fish sanctuary and we will build a couple of payaos 4 tuna. I said i will pay 4 it all. All the locals were 4 it except gov and a few braindead and thy cried 2 the mayor and the mayor shut us down.
U no i visited this place for 5 yrs b4 deciding 2 move. All my buddys say just wait until u get , then tell us how much u still love it...lol boy were they correct.
I even came bringing a million pesos worth of books, computers tv from my US legal NON PROFIT. But win i got here all the hands were out begging 4 stuff, including government trying 2 pinch me. Then win it was all gone not one ty, kiss my butt or anything.. WOW.
SO Sorry 2 ramble but u struck a nerve...lol
Tanks 4 d post. Ur dead on...
A million more storys to be told but will save them 4 a book..lol
8 years im outta here.....

So you were sentenced to 17 years in the Philippines.   What was your crime?

global challenge wrote:

Jefrsmith wrote:

Sharper1 wrote:

There is NO PEACE AND QUIET in the Philipines.

I have yet to find peace and quiet here.

There are 7000 islands that make up the Phillipines. Most of them are uninhabited. Go find one of those and pitch a tent and be content. Making grossly generalised  and inaccurate comments like above does not help anyone. Most cities around the world experience noise pollution and Phillipines is no different. Where I live it is very quiet and peaceful!!!!!!!!!!!

He needs peace and quiet and an internet connection.  Would be surprised if any uninhabited islands have any WiFi. He is not retired.

I married a flip...lol....

Lots perspective on this subject. The majority here seems to point to fact that they are having issues living here. Some more than others.

To say there are no issues would be a lie. We all know every place on earth has issues.

I think issues seem bigger when you come from a country that for most part is opposite of way things are done here.

I know I was a U. S. Marine. Plus I worked as civil service in environmental field. Inspecting all aspects of environment (ie. water quality, air quality, hazardous waste, sewage, trash etc..) a job alone lines of Environmental Protection Agency or EPA.

As Marine you must be discipline and follow orders and law. Be very organized. Being an Environmental guy you learn to take care of it. I worked this job on a Marine Corps Base. Each one of these Jobs I did for more than 20 years. You come to a place of expecting this to happen.

Well coming to live here it was totally opposite. You experience many Environmental hazard issues here, discipline and order don't seem to be a high priority where I live in province. All you learn to expect thru habit in your home country don't apply here.

So, if you are a person who it's difficult to adapt, adjust and change. If you get angry quickly and offended. The Philippines will be harder to live than for others.

I will say it's taken me 4 years to adjust. I refuse to adapt some habits here that people do that I perceive as wrong. Meaning Environmental issues, lack discipline, Noise all times night etc.... that's bad habits of locals and foreigners😬

I try to gain by observing things that I perceive as a blessing. Like lot filipino are resourceful. They use what they have, they love family, they don't complain as much as we do😅, some don't seem to worry a lot etc, love cost living here etc..

So, for me like any place there is the good, bad and ugly here like any place.I believe in being honest .At times I do get feed up with pollution, noise, crazy drivers etc.., After I chill out I say to myself it's just life choose to be happy and focus on good vice ugly!

I could possibly move to the Philippines again, but with a different reason from before. Also, with research backed up, and support system established from home country to the Philippines as well. In case of anything, I would have a network in the Philippines to take care of myself.

Perhaps a general inexperience, lack of exposure, but above all, first world naivety, took me to the Philippines. I may not be an "old, white, retired, man", but I suppose I fare enough in terms of not knowing enough, ability to earn and give, and worst of all kind. The negative notation of which is based on how these personal traits were being leveraged by my ex.

The fall of everything makes decided against moving there again, but six months have passed and I find myself missing the little quirks there. Maybe it's emotional attachment, memories and nostalgia, or that I haven't moved on enough in space and time to get over it. But I do see the possibility of myself returning as a tourist, and if the stars aligned with my objective (none of which is emotional based, purely business), I would consider moving there again. After all, having survived in those conditions gave me enough confidence to return.

This would all be based on me being single and business-minded. Or wanderlust, though that's not really a priority for me.

Hence, I would never return - the answer to the big question.

No globalchallenge, it's the country. The culture actually.

By the look of it many have arrived in the Phils expecting something quite different to what it is.My only advice is 'when in Rome' the Phils will not change for you are the outsider.
There good people there but have  learn how to recognise them and build your net work like the Philos do. In short you need to be a Philo to some extent its called assimilation . OK you may suck at it but if you dont try your paradise will very quickly turn into hell that in some cases that cant be avoided.
For it was easy for me  as I had spent many years in South East Asia before I even got to the Phils, working , holidaying etc. So I was under no illusions as to what to expect.

global challenge wrote:

Jefrsmith wrote:

Sharper1 wrote:

There is NO PEACE AND QUIET in the Philipines.

I have yet to find peace and quiet here.

There are 7000 islands that make up the Phillipines. Most of them are uninhabited. Go find one of those and pitch a tent and be content. Making grossly generalised  and inaccurate comments like above does not help anyone. Most cities around the world experience noise pollution and Phillipines is no different. Where I live it is very quiet and peaceful!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy, I believe I prefaced my reply with "these are my observations" or something to that effect. Are you really going down that road Global Challenge?

The original question of this thread was would I come back. My reply was no. Then I was asked to elaborate and I did. Noise was not the only point in my answer. Have you read my answer completely?

These are my reasons after living here for nearly two decades down in the trenches, not high on the hog. I am entitled to my observations and opinions like everyone else without them being blown off as generalizations. Wouldn't you agree?

By the way, how could you possibly say that MY observations are "inaccurate"? Have you been living with me all this time? Have you observed what I have observed? My goodness, get a grip.

Many years back, I met an American guy who was living in the street of Manila. He was begging outside one McDo. The Filipino customers were shocked that a "Kano", supposedly rich as all Kano are rich according to the popular belief, but were generous with him and were giving him 10 or 20 pesos sometimes even 50 pesos. I talked to him and he explained to me all his problems. In fact he had many problems in the US and he thought that these problems would disappear if he was leaving forever the US. But very quickly, once in Manila his former problems started to catch him back even stronger. To shorten the story, his girlfriend in Manila left him when she discovered that he was not rich as he pretended and his ex wife in the US was grabbing his house, bank account as a settlement for divorce... So quickly, he could not pay anymore a bedroom in the hotel.... the solidarity among American expats was not strong and he was help for a few days by a fellow but not enough. So quickly he found himself in the street and had to learn how to struggle and survive with his dog against his fellow street dwellers. The irony is that he "built" a shelter with 2 iron sheets not far from the US Embassy. One day I met some employees of the US consulate and I asked them if they know about him and they answered yes. But they told me that he is somewhat trapped in the Philippines as he has nothing in the US and nothing in the Philippines. As it was 15 years ago or so I don't know what happened to him. But it was the first time I felt that expatriation can very quickly become a trap and hell ! Don't expatriate yourself for the wrong reasons, settle first your problems at home, don't flee them...

Sorry for my very late input; as I just jumped onto this topic by chance.

& Sincerely many thanks guys for sharing your stories & advice.

It does make me sad that many have had such bad/sad experiences, and for some whom have learnt painful lessons & thereon started afresh which gives me some confidence.

Would it be that all these problems started with the 'smell' of easy money/better life without having to work hard?  Which I see as a growing  threat right in my face!

If so; how best to protect oneself from such human behaviour?

I myself have for a start have started distancing myself fm many a family member.

There's an ancient saying that what you don't learn when yr 5yrs old would be impossible to re-learn when yr 50yrs old. I see this behaviour exist even in school kids here today; e.g : Grade 5/6 students hardly have a decent education here  especially in the local PUBLIC elementary schools, and many will progress to high schools automatically. The only thing I see in them is they like dancing/singing/ /wearing the latest fashion items that were purchased v.cheaply fm the various OKAI OKAI shops here...eg : short skirts are even allowed in elementary schools every Wednesday, the so called (washing day) and they all have 'NO' homework whatsoever and lastly watching those idiotic drama series series after series which run in the 100's of episodes wonder how these school kids (especially the girls) end up with this false sense of security?

Hope I've not offended anyone; but this is solely my opinion & would appreciate any feedback

Thanks

Hello manwonder.
From my experience here talking to other expats and through this forum, is most of us are here because our partners are Filipino and as non working retirees we can not afford to live in our home countries. We exist here on our pensions and limited savings and had we not had Filipino partners, we would be in some other country of our partners birth.  This is my opinion.
regards  Bruce

Hi Go Dees/Bruce..agreed on yr pointers & thats exactly why i am here & loving it!
The intention of my earler input was just my own take of how things work here, and am quite sure of the end results. Maybe its just a 'survival behaviour' that they have & i'm not about to rock the boat in anyway...Like i said i'm loving it here, on my v.strict budget!!
Regards

GoDees wrote:

Hello manwonder.
From my experience here talking to other expats and through this forum, is most of us are here because our partners are Filipino and as non working retirees we can not afford to live in our home countries. We exist here on our pensions and limited savings and had we not had Filipino partners, we would be in some other country of our partners birth.  This is my opinion.
regards  Bruce

Well said Bruce and I certainly appreciate your opinions and would agree with your input but there is a flip side to that story also.
Those that found their love/life and those that haven't yet. While we can easily afford to live in Australia we chose to be with family where we are welcome unlike here in Oz. We all have different reasons for moving to a foreign country, whether love, economics or all of the above contributions.

I simply moved to the Philippines for a comfortable life with my better half and his family because I am happy, have integrated easily there, content. While yes dollars go further in PH. they can go even further in a multitude of nicer countries to retire to unless you meet your life in PH.

Cheers, Steve.

I can live wherever I want and if I had my way I'd be in Spain, but my girl and the kids are here so I spend half the year here and half in US. She can't go there right now and I won't live here full-time so that's the compromise we worked around to. It's a little weird but works okay for us so far.

yes

Interesting veeeeerrrrry  interesting....

Big Pearl

What other countries are you referring to please.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on that subject so as to compare them to the Phils.

Thanks in advance.

Hmmm...so there is a 'flip' side.

Thanks for sharing!

Tsmslf wrote:

Big Pearl

What other countries are you referring to please.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on that subject so as to compare them to the Phils.

Thanks in advance.

Hi and welcome to this forum. I have plenty of thoughts and none involved Asia 10 years ago, no attachments within Australia, I looked at Italy, my fave, then the southern regions in France, Spain fleetingly.

As said in other posts I met my better half some 8 years ago whilst working in PH. and we have not looked back.
It depends on motives and perhaps ones financial situation, the ability to assimilate and overlook the cr+p that others whinge about. Due diligence and selecting a destination are pre requisites. We looked for 3 years before purchasing to live a quiet life.
Comparisons are easily found with our best friend google. A money thing? google will treat you to the cheapest countries likewise living standards. Tasting the dirt comes with experience and a want/need to live in PH., little else.

If I ever split up with my S.O. I would move on to brighter horizons but for the foreseeable future we are happy and call the Philippines home.
Comparisons? Chalk and cheese, PH. was never a retirement destination for me but fortunately I met a good person. Here we are.

Cheers, Steve.

Many interesting stories...some sad...some good.  I have lived in Lapu-Lapu now for over one year full time and previous to that three years of  seasonal six month stays.  I married in 2017 and last year I became the proud father of a daughter. 

My marriage is working out well and I get along well with her large family.  I was always upfront on what I could afford and while we lack nothing we live fairly modestly.  I help her family to some extent but it has been made clear that I'm not on a limitless income.

I found drawing clear lines and speaking openly (although Filipinos shy away from it) has been useful and has eliminated unrealistic expectations on their part.

From past experience I don't intend to do a business here and at the moment renting is my preferred way to stay flexible...although my wife is quite keen to own a house. 

I lived in Nicaragua and Mexico for a few years and also in Thailand.  I find the Philippines overall very accommodating and pleasant and I feel much safer than in Latin America.  Nothing is perfect....I try to go through life not focusing  on the poop but rather seeking and smelling  the roses.

Nope