How to meet high school aged kids.

And just to follow up on my last post, it's important to understand that here in Bali, the “usual” or typical methods of how young and forming adults meet and socialize is not at all like in western cultures.

For the Balinese, their primary and initial social connections are based on their own family compounds, and then by extension, to the other families that make up their village.  Gradually, as the young folks grow older, this will extend to other villages, the impetus or primary venue for this being by way of their own public schools, in particular, junior and high schools where the student body is most often derived from multiple villages.     

Within their own villages, the exposure and opportunities to form friendships come at the earliest ages by way of Balinese temples, and the almost endless ceremonies that take place at those temples.  For the Balinese, a temple ceremony is as much a social event as it is a religious event.  And, for the Balinese, once completing the three month ceremony after birth, this process of socialization beings. 

In actuality, there is almost no separation between religion, culture, and social interaction within the Balinese culture.  They are each inexorably interwoven.  Keeping this in mind, many temple ceremonies in Bali involve other villages…their Gods, as well as their people being frequently transported from Village A, to Village B…and those villages are often many miles apart.  Therein of course is the opportunity to meet other folks, from other villages…an opportunity which goes beyond that which exists in their schools.  Balinese temple ceremonies are not at all like going to church in the West. 

Here, no Balinese boy will come “calling” for a “date” with a Balinese girl.  Dating, from a conventional western tradition, is largely unknown, as it is not the conventional way.  In fact, most Balinese young men will never formally meet (as a suitor) their girl friend's family until, and unless, their relationship comes to marriage.  The same applies for the girl meeting her boyfriend's family.  And, truth be told, this meeting most often will occur only after the girl has become pregnant by her male suitor…and when marriage is dictated. 

Socialization, including in its most intense form (marriage) is unique among the Balinese, and very much unlike what most westerners are accustomed.  As gregarious, outgoing, friendly and warm as the Balinese are, the simple fact is, that to grow a bond like the trust of brotherhood, or sisterhood, or anything akin to family is not within their understanding of friendship.  It takes a great deal more for the Balinese, and it takes years of commitment.