American marring in Egypt

it's the first time for me to hear something about age limits in marriage in egypt , but i don't have info about that to be honest , sorry

M.AZMY, thanks for your reply. There is a age restriction. This what I read "If the difference in age between the couple is more than 25 years, approval from the Office of Minister of Justice must be obtained."  I need to find out how to apply for approval

It will be a problem if you're the one 26 years senior to him.

you're 26 years his senior?? if that's the case, I totally agree with XB23

Can you tell me why ?

How can I solve this problem?

come on, do you need me to spell it out?? surely not!

Cbag wrote:

Can you tell me why ?

I wrote a comment at length to explain why, but decided not to submit it, as it's actually quite worrying that you're even asking this question.

Cbag wrote:

How can I solve this problem?

To solve this problem? Very simple. By telling him there is no chance he will get a visa to the USA, and that the only option is to live in Egypt with him, and that it will be his responsibility to provide, and not you. Seeing that he loves you so much apparently, he should welcome this without a problem. But his next action will prove otherwise - Watch how quickly he disappears! Gone just like that.

There is no problem for me to live there. It's the problem getting legally married.

Why such negative comment. Have you seen people in the same situation?

Cbag wrote:

There is no problem for me to live there. It's the problem getting legally married.

Well you will find it a problem if you want to live there - as he wants to come to the USA rather than live together in Egypt. Before you say I don't know him to know this, I don't need to. As I know enough of them (i.e chancers!). If you don't want to believe me, like I said, go ahead and tell him there is no future life in America.

Cbag wrote:

Why such negative comment. Have you seen people in the same situation?

Coming from North African roots myself, the only situation where I've seen men marry older women (always Western women mind you...), is for the purpose of getting their grubby hands on money and/or a spouse visa. So the "marriage" simply was temporarily and it boiled down to cash or papers, or preferably both. You won't find Egyptians genuinely married to women nearly 3 decades older than themselves. Not even 2. Heck, you will be hard-pressed to find even just a decade being the difference. Everyone knows in the culture, the younger (the women), the preferable. So quite frankly this guy is doing the complete opposite to the norm. But he doesn't care if he thinks there is something to get out of it. Once he's got it, he will inevitably make his escape like thousands before him.

Are you saying most Egyptian men just want money or visa ? If they can't get either, they will be gone?

Cbag wrote:

Are you saying most Egyptian men just want money or visa ? If they can't get either, they will be gone?

No, I didn't say that. Simply those men marrying women who are considerably older than them, tend to have ulterior motives for doing so, and it doesn't last. Which was obvious to everyone around them, apart from the woman herself who should of known better.

If this guy, was living in the USA, would he honestly show the same amount of interest? Would he marry you instead of someone closer to his age? Think about this.

I thought the older one gets, the wiser they become.

Yup, I've got nothing to add to that XB23. He probably told her "age is just a number", not in Egypt though!

Thank you for the advice.

That's what he said. How disappointing!!

Well it's not as disappointing as finding out the hard way after bringing him over, that age is certainly not just a number to him, after seeing that he prefers to spend his time with women in his own age group.

In general, things in the West can be quite different than in that part of the world, so you need to approach it differently. Age might not be a huge deal in the West, but it is there (because marriage usually means kids!). Also a divorcee with no kids, or a single mother, wouldn't find it as hard a time to re-marry in the West, as those in that part of the world. So sometimes I really don't know what to say when I come across older women, or single mothers, looking to get married there, believing the person has accepted them for who they are. That age is just a number to them, or their kids are like their own. When in reality - they haven't accepted this, and never will! The mentality is just different. I can't explain it. But things are just very different there to what we are used to here. Travel there, live there, but just avoid marriage. You won't regret it.

Thank you for your advice.

Cbag wrote:

Thank you for your advice.

Please don't do the mistake others did after being given advice, which was resume communication, and allow themselves to be convinced of their lies (in their response to questions related to the advice given), or fall for their emotional blackmail - "What have I done to you to leave me? What have I done wrong? Why have you wasted my time? I love you, what is wrong with you?" etc.  It might be hard to do, but it will be for the best - block all contact, and don't look back. Don't feel sorry for him, as he isn't innocent. If he was, he wouldn't be with a women much older than him. He knows Egyptians simply don't do that. He is the one that wasted time. He knows what he is doing is wrong. Do not give him the opportunity to defend himself. There is nothing to defend. What he did can not be justified, so do not reply to anything from him.

Best wishes for the future.

Cbag wrote:

Why such negative comment. Have you seen people in the same situation?

The following will dispel any myth about me being negative and you can see what tends to happen to those unfortunate enough to take the next step, and get married:

I am an American Woman who married a Egyptian man in Cairo and am now wanting a divorce.

I have discovered he was married to another woman with two children and have asked for a divorce. MY marriage is not legal in the United States because he is married to another woman prior to marrying me.

He sometimes agrees to the divorce and sometimes does not. Twice we have gone to the Ministry of Justice and started the divorce paperwork but because if lack of witnesses and time constraints of Ramadan the office has closed early and we missed the opportunity. Now he is refusing to go back to the Ministry of Justice.

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=381601

I need some advise.  I have met an Egyptian man on a dating site.  He said he was divorced.  After a few months I found out that he in fact was still married and his wife was pregnant.  I was in total disbelief that he did not tell me the truth and that his wife was pregnant. In all the time we Skyped each other she was never in their home.  He told me she had gone back to her parents. If I knew this I would NEVER have continued this relationship.

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=452429

My ex divorced me at Ministry of Justice, I was not there as I live in USA . I received the papers, in Arabic , and English and stamped off by the American Consulate in Cairo to show the Egyptian stamps were authentic.

Later my ex went to the Civil Status Dept.  The Family Record showed his current wife ( which was his first wife,  he divorced her, married me, then he married her again WHILE we were still married).......

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=441766

I got married in Egypt many years ago to an Egyptian man; he is Muslim and I am a Christian, he could not get the visa to come live with me in the USA.  Eventually he disappeared and abandoned me completely, I have no way to contact him...

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=447881

Hi I am from uk my ex husband is from Egypt he lives in uk now for last 2years we married in Egypt in 2010 he is Christian I now want to divorce my husband after he has lied n cheated on me and has been violent to also just used me to get his visa for uk to do his study but has his remain to leave now so nothing I can do about visa we have 1 child together who was born in uk I want to divorce him ASAP

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=343546

Hi could anyone tell me of a cheap lawyer that deals in hassament papers
i was marryed to my egyptian husband for only 8mths then he changed and started beating me ect i mangedf to leave and return to england leqaving all my items behind  anyroad  after 3yrs away i returned to luxor to see a friend thinking every thing would be ok but my husband saw me and beat me up badly,the police did nothing im returning again and been told i can get a harssment paper

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=414518

I am from Georgia, 3 years ago i came to live in Egypt with a person i loved. i was naive girl who trusted people,and believed that this is a man who i love so much  and will share all my life with. before we marry sure i knew his family.

but after 2 months i knew that my "Egyptian husband" is lying to me, he hit me, never  provide me and he  is already
married  and has a son.( We were married by orfi. he said that it s a first step to legal and real marriage.)
This orfi paper was signed by both of sides  in one copy without any witnesses,  i even dont have it.

So my problem is to get freedom and to get  divorce!!!!!

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=297396

A dear friend of mine married an Egyptian man a couple years ago. She is in a bad situation. He threw her out of the house but will not divorce her. She is living on her own and her husband is not helping her with any financial support. She has no furnishing for her apartment. If anyone has anything at all for sale for a cheap price please pm me keyword cheap price please no merchants trying to make a buck

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=308439

Hi i met a man on line from egypt  he told me he was divorced , after a while he asked to marry me i went to egypt we married in the court house , we applied for his visa for him to come to uk he has been here three and a half years he goes back to egypt every 5 months to see his children from his ex marriage , i had some doubts last time he went  he left his laptop , i found picture on it of his ex wife and children and a new child when he came back i confronted him  he said that he only divorced her 10 days before i went to marry him and he slept with her before we married , and she got pregnant i was mad and asked him why he never told me this in the first place

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=333918

I have been married to an Egyptian for over twenty years and have two children, both under 18 years of age. We lived in Egypt for a number of years but have since returned to the UK. Two months ago he left our rented home in the UK and returned to Egypt. He took all of my papers (Egyptian ID, driving licence and contracts) and used an old power of attorney to transfer our property and business in Egypt out of our joint names into his own. He also  transferred all of our money into his own account, leaving me with no access to our money. He refuses to support the family here and has completely cut off all contact with us. What are my legal rights? Can anyone recommend a lawyer in Egypt who can help?

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=440525

Hi, I married an Egyptian in Cairo in 2008 and we divorced in the Egyptian Embassy London in 2011. I've recently discovered that the divorce isn't valid but a mutual friend has told me that the woman that he left me for when he got his visa for the UK may have married him 3months before we married...do you know what status this gives my marriage in the UK and how I would prove this? Thanks!

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=522037

I have done something totally out of character which I now regret greatly. I agreed to sign a marriage contract which has our photos on the top. My "husband" said he needed me to agree to this contract as he could not stay with me ( and I do not even mean sexually) so I agreed. It was done in the solicitors office with witnesses and we had to recite words declaring our marriage to friends and family. My husband said it was not an orfi as he is a good Muslim and could not do that. He said this is the first stage of paperwork needed to take to Cairo where it can be finalised. Sadly he started treating me differently ,we recently argued and he disappeared back to Cairo and won't speak to me.

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=503806

A year ago tomorrow I had an orfi marriage with an Egyptian man living in Luxor. I was very happy with him for the first few visits (I continued to live in England and still do, thank God) and then came the requests for money..... It gradually dawned on me that we were making a lot off trips to the cash machine (he told me that everything we wanted to do for our 'honeymoon' (take the little boats across from the West Bank to the East); visit Banana Island (which I later realised has no entry charge!); go to the coffee shops and smoke shisha; have meals out) was very expensive and I was too stupid/in love to question him when he asked me to draw out my daily maximum (£200) from each of my 2 visa cards pretty much every day!  Our week's 'honeymoon' ended up costing me about £1200, and then came the news that he had a blood disorder which meant he had to go to Cairo every month for tests  - more expense. This has gone on for months, and I am so stressed and deflated (and my illusions shattered) that I now want out. However, I don't have my copy of the orfi marriage certificate. Unfortunately, my 'husband' has both copies  - his and mine.

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=410834

I am an English woman, living in the UK. I want to divorce my egyptian husband who is still living in Egypt. Soon after we married, my visa ran out and I had to return to the UK and it has now been 12 months since I had any contact with my husband!

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=221437

Before i saw many stories here abt foreigner ladies marry with Egyptian men .but when i learned the same bad things happened on the plp beside me i feel very shocked and sad !
My chinese friend she married with Egyptian almost 10 years now and they have one girl 4 years

As time goes by ,there r many problems happened .eg for baby education and life affairs。。。the Egyptian man always stay in home seems no have friends...and also gradually get sexuality problem...you know if man has that problem he will be more sensitive and inferiority.He began to beat her just for small affairs!!!
Last year the egyptian man suddenly transferred all money from company bank account to his private bank account!and asked her to sell another house in China!

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=438420

been together 6 yrs...married in the family home, and in the embassy....been legally married 4 years....I paid for everything including our flat in his home town, and our new built house in another area of egypt....I funded his visit to my country were we stayed together for 1 years.....we was very very happy!.............................
He gets a nice job in another country away from our home in egypt were he now travels the world with his new job!  A new life style!!!
He now wants to divorce me when he comes in ramadan, he says his life is much better without me and he has wasted his life being with me all this time...

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=368169

i am canadian woman and i married muslim egyptian man in May 2012 .....we did not see each other or have any relations since May 2012....almost 2 years now .....how do i get a divorce from him if he will not agree to it ?????

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=352155

Hi im from Argentina and married with an Egyptian we have a daughter
and he is thinking about divorcing me so i need a lawyer to help me about my situation here

https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=338904

Wow!!! Lots sad stories.

There is far more than those, but I just wanted to give you an idea of what you're potentially getting yourself into as you might still continue with it. It wasn't just my opinion. It does really happen, which I wanted you to see for yourself so you don't just have to take my words for it. You should consider yourself lucky. Everything is sweet at the start, before suddenly and unexpectedly taking a turn for the worse. Like many before, you would no doubt be back on here asking about the process for divorce. It really shouldn't reach that stage before you realize it wasn't a good idea. If you still think it's a good idea, and have doubts about what I'm saying, then I suggest if there is an Egyptian community where you live, to go and ask them directly, mentioning the age gap. If they are honest with you, they will also tell you there is no long-term future in it, and that you are being used. So if you still want to continue with it, before you do that, ask them. Or ask any Egyptian on this site or elsewhere.

I'm sorry on behalf of each of Egyptians everywhere you can find the best and the worst and the Egyptian people are very kind and lovely

Ahmedarabea, I agree there are always good and bad people in this world.

Yea, right, wake up! It's not for nothing the internet is filled with horror stories from foreigners being duped by Egyptian con men, several embassies of (western) countries warn their citizens for these tricksters

and it should tell you enough that ahmedarabea is already banned from this site, like many others before him

How do you know he is banned?  Yes, I have heard lots about the tricksters

because it says so under his picture: "banned", that only happens when people are naughty and usually happens to men here who, in one way or the other, harass other people, usually women

ahmedarabea wrote:

I'm sorry on behalf of each of Egyptians everywhere you can find the best and the worst and the Egyptian people are very kind and lovely

You're actually only making matters worse with this insincere apology, and excusing them by saying there is good people. That is beside the point, and you know that. Please stick to what has been said. As no-one ever said all Egyptians are bad, and that there is no good found in them! Part of my roots is actually Egyptian, so I would be insulting myself and mother if I ever do that. What you should of done instead of shying away from the inconvenient fact that there are a number of them who do get married only for immigration purposes, is first admit it happens, acknowledge it's a real problem that exists, and then give advice to foreigners on how to avoid it. But of course you wouldn't do that as you're very likely one of them yourself, as that's the probable reason why you have been banned  - sending multiple messages to them to contact you in private.

If you are to return, a bit of honesty about mixed marriages would be helpful to foreigners. We are here to share our knowledge/experience and help each other. You haven't done that. But rather here to help yourself, and hamper our efforts.

I've read some of your comments and of course there is some problems in that marriage in general and i don't have something to share, well i write that comment to tell you that I know Ahmed rabea, and he just registered here yesterday to search for native english instructor to improve his english and i talked to him about what is going here in "Expat.com" and he simply sent some direct messages to english instructors and "he's already talked to some of them" and the web-admin banned him and if there is anyone of members that he contacted them has something different please share it with us. 

Thank you and have a good day

I have to completely agree with every word you guys said, many Egyptians find foreigners as their ultimate getaway, I have rarely seen a good story where they live happily ever after! If you still want to proceed with this, I would recommend you strictly say that you will stay in Egypt, you have no money and ask him to provide for 1 or 2 years at least before taking any steps towards marriage. That's usually when his plan will fall apart. I am also Egyptian just so no one starts saying there are good and bad and a bunch of utter BS.

sjoseph10 wrote:

I have to completely agree with every word you guys said, many Egyptians find foreigners as their ultimate getaway, I have rarely seen a good story where they live happily ever after! If you still want to proceed with this, I would recommend you strictly say that you will stay in Egypt, you have no money and ask him to provide for 1 or 2 years at least before taking any steps towards marriage. That's usually when his plan will fall apart. I am also Egyptian just so no one starts saying there are good and bad and a bunch of utter BS.

Thank you for this. I don't want to appear as the only one saying it. As I have no evil agenda or ill-feeling towards anyone. To be frank, the only reason why I have a very outspoken view towards such 'marriages', is in many cases, the Westerner converts to Islam (which is not necessary for the marriage procedure depending on their religion, but they do nonetheless, or do so after), and they end up later on divorced once their partner obtains residency status. In other words, they learn they were deceived for the purpose of a visa - having thought they were starting a new chapter in their lives as married Muslims. As a Muslim, this ruins our reputation. We should know the seriousness of marriage. It's a life-time commitment. How dare anyone use it for immigration purposes. It's selfish, morally wrong, and damages our reputation. They also leave behind an emotional & financial mess the victim has to deal with. All because they want to study and/or work abroad. In other-words, they are using that person as their sponsor, rather than pay for it themselves. Forget about bothering with a study or work visa, looking for accommodation and so on, just 'marry' someone who will sort out a visa for them, and take care of all their needs. Disgusting if you ask me.

I must be one of the lucky ones! I met and married my Egyptian husband 15 years ago. We were both older (think 40+), he had and has no interest in moving to the US, and I get along very well with his adult children from his previous marriage. It can happen!
Having said that, any woman who is thinking about marrying a much younger man needs to think again. Happened to a friend of mine - he only wanted children (which she couldn't have) and a visa. And not necessarily in that order. She is now happily single again and he's married to a much younger woman.

kathyl wrote:

I must be one of the lucky ones! I met and married my Egyptian husband 15 years ago. We were both older (think 40+), he had and has no interest in moving to the US, and I get along very well with his adult children from his previous marriage. It can happen!
Having said that, any woman who is thinking about marrying a much younger man needs to think again. Happened to a friend of mine - he only wanted children (which she couldn't have) and a visa. And not necessarily in that order. She is now happily single again and he's married to a much younger woman.

No, not necessarily lucky. Because the point wasn't that all Egyptians were only after a visa. It's not about that at all, and they are not. But rather that when there are quite significant differences between the two (age - especially when the woman is older), and other things (education, religion, culture, interests, plans,  goals etc), that someone needs to think twice. If you read the stories, in most cases it was obvious from the start that it wouldn't last given the differences between them. If the woman is 26 years older as in this case,  there really doesn't need to be any thought given to it. What happened to your friend is exactly what I'm warning ⚠ her about. This wasn't about not marrying an Egyptian, but a person who will use her then do a runner once he's got what he was after. That was all it was about.

You are absolutely right. I guess I just wanted a chance to let women know it is possible to marry an Egyptian man and have the marriage be successful. I think the biggest red flag in the original question was the age difference. Most of the men I know here are anxious to have a traditional family life - including children. A young man who wants to marry an older woman, especially one who is coming to the end or has already reached the end of her child-bearing years, is most probably looking for a way out of the country.

kathyl wrote:

You are absolutely right. I guess I just wanted a chance to let women know it is possible to marry an Egyptian man and have the marriage be successful. I think the biggest red flag in the original question was the age difference. Most of the men I know here are anxious to have a traditional family life - including children. A young man who wants to marry an older woman, especially one who is coming to the end or has already reached the end of her child-bearing years, is most probably looking for a way out of the country.

Yes, certainly looking for a way out. Which is what I've been saying all along. That he just wants to move there. This is quite easy to prove by asking a few simple questions that have clear answers - Lets assume that said person was already firmly settled in the USA, would he show the same interest? Would he marry given the age difference or rather a woman closer to his age? Do Egyptians established in the States get married to older women? If not, why not? Do Egyptians in Egypt? If not, why not? Is it something they do? Or is it out of the norm? Why is it not the norm? Why is it mainly through the internet, or meeting during a holiday that these abnormal relationships develop? How long do these abnormal relationships continue for after the person moves abroad, and obtains permanent residence? Why is there a high rate of divorce and thousands of stories online?

I don't have anything against someone wanting to better their lives, by relocating to a more developed country. That's completely normal and understandable. But using someone to provide you with everything to do that, then running off and leaving behind a trail of financial & emotional mess for them to deal with after they've helped you achieve your goal, is completely un-acceptable. I can't stand selfish, deceiving people, looking for personal gain using any method they can. And sadly 'marriage' is a popular one.