I'm touching the rock bottom. Can I share in here, if I may?

Ok girl, even now we have a right not to let you post your story here, but  you share it already !
Tell me what you want but you can't do now?
- You want to sleep, but you can't?
- You want to eat, but you can't?
- You want to go out with your firend, but you can't?
- You want to love, but you can't?
- You want to study something new, but you can't?

I just want to know what you want and what you can't do to give you a right advice.
Good night and sweet dream, girl.

First of all, if you think you have problems look around there are many more worse off.

Either write down everything that is troubling you - then study your list and address each problem, one at a time.

Or

Seek out a priest, of you are religious, or an older person who you can off load your thoughts, someone who will listen and not be judgemental. Just talking about things often let's YOU see the answers you seek.

Getting a medical check-up might also be beneficial. Some medical complaints can creep up on you without you knowing, such as depression.

Everyone goes through self-doubt, people who say they don't are liars. There is no shame in seeking help, which is what you are doing by posting.

Good luck, you can PM anyone you feel can help you if you want privacy.

First of all you must adopt the attitude that "this is just for today!!!" If you capsulize your problems and think of them as just for today then you can deal with them more easily. You can put up with absolutely the very worst situations you can imagine, if it's just for one day. Then tomorrow you adopt the same attitude and you get through tomorrow. Each new day becomes another "just for today" day until the problem you face is resolved. In such situations if you start looking too far ahead then the problem becomes overwhelming, and that's when you resign yourself into the false sense that "there's NOTHING I can do about it."

There is ALWAYS something we can do about our problems, we just have to use our reasoning to try and understand exactly what that may be. Then we have to have the courage to do it. There are very few problems that are truly beyond OUR control. There are however, many problems that we just can't tackle head-on and resolve right away either. Many problems require a strategy, a series of steps to resolve successfully. You just need to work out a plan and then put the plan to work.

You need to think outside the box in order to resolve problems. You can't adopt an "it always worked that way before" kind of approach to problem solving. You need to look at your problems from all sides, in new and different ways and find new and different ways of solving them. Like the old saying goes (and it's so true) - if you always do what you've always done, then you only get what you've always got before. If you try to solve a problem and don't like the result, then you have to try a new approach.

"Things get worse before they get better", well this saying can be a double edged sword. It can either prepare you in case your efforts to resolve a problem don't produce immediate results. However, and most often it acts as a deterrent to taking action in the first place. Some people use it to justify not doing anything out of fear of making the problem worse. Regardless of what you do to resolve a problem, whether it is a raging success or a flop, you have done something and there will be a change in the situation however small that may be. The mere fact that you've taken some action indicates you've taken control of the situation, taken responsibility for it and that alone will tend to make you feel more positive about the eventual outcome.

In the business world, brainstorming is one of the most often used problem solving tools. A group gets together to deal with a specific problem, and start throwing ideas back and forth. Why not adapt this technique to personal problems then? Even if you can't involve others in the process (which would be ideal) you should brainstorm with yourself, throw out possible actions you can take to resolve the problem and then explore the possible outcomes. Don't limit yourself to just one or two possible actions, try and come up with as many as possible and try to predict the outcomes and then go with the best. Don't discount out of hand the wacky or strange possible approaches to solving a problem, they are all worth exploring.

In the end, even if you haven't solved your problem you are going to feel much better about it and about yourself, simply because you haven't thrown your hands up in the air and given up the battle before the first shot was ever fired. You will feel some sense of accomplishment just by virtue of the fact that you didn't sit there doing nothing, but rather that at least you tried something.

Just remember, life is NOT a wave that carries us helplessly along to some unknown destination. It is like a car, we get inside grab the steering wheel and GUIDE it to the destination we wish to reach. There may be some detours along the way, but we usually manage to get to where we want to go anyway.

Good luck, chin up and keep on keeping on!

Cheers,
James        Expat-blog Experts Team

I don't know how someone can give you advice if they don't know what is your problem.

Anyway, if the "Lord, save me" prayer worked there would be no unhappy people in the world and no room to move.

Listens to the Wilson Phillips' song "Hold On". The lyric kinda describe what you are saying.


I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Hi,

Are you feeling better now? Read carefully and learn from these helpful advices above.

Sometimes, all the sadness, hardship are just what you think temperarily, when you mood is better you will feel that nothing is problem. Our thought is very important, when you change your way of thinking, your life will change accordingly. And your life is just how you draw it

Listen to a song in Vietnamese named " Hay song nhu nhung doa hoa", you will find your meaning of life and know why you are here on earth

Cheer up, girl

Sarah

Over the 14 years or so I've been in SE Asia, I've had hard as well as great times, Some so hard I'd eat every few days and/or walk 40 k. to save a couple bucks.

   I always remember it could be worse, I could still be stuck in the west.

   And forgetting all that God stuff would be a great step towards taking control of your life.

   Works for me. Good luck.

Hi..been there..done that..I feel you. There are times that you think that you almost have everything that you needed and wanted..However, you still feel empty at the end...you suddenly realized that you're not completely happy. It's normal to feel that way and you don't need to feel embarrassed about it..that's part of being human.. Guess what? every time we feel lost in the middle of nowhere..that means that God is reminding us more that He is there..willing to help us overcome whatever burdens we're having..Pray and cling on Him and He will never ever forsake you.. keep your faith strong and You're good to go...

if you can imagine loosing your mum or dad is a #10 and can not find your motor bike keys being #1 on list of bad things that upset us, where is your problem, will it kill you? no, will it hurt you? no will it make you late for your work? can you write it on paper and do it tomorrow. Are you expecting too much from yourself and friends? do you set too many deadlines for your self? be kind to yourself, breath, relax. A cyclo drive was asked to take a customer around HCMc for 1 day working for a business man, all the meetings were finished by 12pm the bussiness man paid the drive + big tip, later they meet again and the driver is drinking beer, why are you not working the b/man asked, the cyclo driver  replied, I HAVE ENOUGH FOR TODAY. 

Hi, thanks for all your kindness. I apprecitate, much more than you imagine. Yous, all of yous are truly good people and all I can say: keep doing it and reach out your hands, words, thinking, you all are great. I'll keep yous posted my current situation. I alreadsy read all the posts and msgs, I knew what I knew, how to face my problem.
Once again, I thank yous.
Nguyen

@goodbyeLenin: Been there done that. Not much outsider can do for you

But you can pray. if you are Christian, pray to your Lord Jesus. if you are Buddhism, pray to Buddha. If you are Vietnamese polytheism, pray to Mothers, Gods, and Saints for intercession.

Pray wholeheartedly for 10 minutes straight. At the end of it, you will feel slightly better.

Stoics will grit their teeth and move on, but you may not be stoic type. Dramatics may cry aloud, rave and rant, and feel better for it but you may not be dramatic type, either. Spiritualists will visit churches or pagodas, read sutras for hours on end, but you may not be spiritualist type either.

But ten minutes escape into praying for divine helps is ten minutes relax

Hey Lenin

this is something in your personal life, isn't it? How about distracting yourself? Watch some movies, read a gripping novel. (Am a fan of Dick Francis and Lee Child). Exercise, go for a long walk. And in the morning, try the "creative process"

write down what's going through your head.

You may get answers when you start listening.
...

Granted,you cannot control whoever is supposed to give you that answer.  And the one constant in life is perpetual change. Embrace the change - you cannot fight change.

Take care,
Chris

I understand " Rock Bottom " ...

This spring a girl I wrote , dumped me after 6 months ( ugh ) , Had Ankle surgery , same time , and then ... My Mother passed .

All of this I dealt with ALONE .. No one to talk to . I beat Cancer in 2007 , was technically clear to buy insurance first time YEAR ago ... Yes In USA . Lost house but survived Stage - 4 Cancer .

Now I decided to give my LIFE to a Wife and Child . Yes ...... my Life . Why ? I saw DEATH . I sat in bed bleeding for months in USA ... My Elder Mother would WEEP , and come to my bedside in middle of night . I awoke to her crying .

God that was Horrible .  I have seen some difficult times . I cannot share all . No .  I will say some days were very dark .  Losing Mother this year my last parent was brutal .

Now I am ALONE . so I come to Vietnam . If I live 20 years or 2 days with Loving Wife and Child I live FULL life , of God's gift and LOVE .

Now I must stop ... I cry . Yes . So do not give Up ... NEVER EVER GIVE UP . FIGHT UNTIL YOU FALL ... FIGHT .

CHRISTOPHER . 

My words may not help , but remember ... You are Loved . Now stand up , square your shoulders ... say a little prayer and SMILE ... Now go and FIGHT !!! and , Live .  I .. did not accept defeat . I live .  Yes .

VietnamVenice3260 wrote:

I understand " Rock Bottom " ...

This spring a girl I wrote , dumped me after 6 months ( ugh ) , Had Ankle surgery , same time , and then ... My Mother passed .

All of this I dealt with ALONE .. No one to talk to . I beat Cancer in 2007 , was technically clear to buy insurance first time YEAR ago ... Yes In USA . Lost house but survived Stage - 4 Cancer .

Now I decided to give my LIFE to a Wife and Child . Yes ...... my Life . Why ? I saw DEATH . I sat in bed bleeding for months in USA ... My Elder Mother would WEEP , and come to my bedside in middle of night . I awoke to her crying .

God that was Horrible .  I have seen some difficult times . I cannot share all . No .  I will say some days were very dark .  Losing Mother this year my last parent was brutal .

Now I am ALONE . so I come to Vietnam . If I live 20 years or 2 days with Loving Wife and Child I live FULL life , of God's gift and LOVE .

Now I must stop ... I cry . Yes . So do not give Up ... NEVER EVER GIVE UP . FIGHT UNTIL YOU FALL ... FIGHT .

CHRISTOPHER . 

My words may not help , but remember ... You are Loved . Now stand up , square your shoulders ... say a little prayer and SMILE ... Now go and FIGHT !!! and , Live .  I .. did not accept defeat . I live .  Yes .

I absolutely agree with you !!! Hope the topic owner is doing fine now.

Merry Xmas everyone

Sarah

thank you

Lenin

Are you okay , well I guess not. Listen ... I understand. Please think of the thing you love , a person , a place to walk , favorite church or temple.
Walk. Breath deeply and enjoy the miracle of Life.
I understand how you feel. Yes. Right now.

Contact me if you need to talk. I will give contact info... And listen. Just listen and be friend.

Now ... Please , be strong. You are very special.
Loved.

Christopher .

The most important thing ... Is listening.

Be well Lenin ... Chris.

Goodbylenin

Hey hi there. Yes .... Hello. I just wanted to say that.
Hello. Hello and hi ~ yeah . Now chin up dear Heart. Yes. YOU!!

Chin up dear Lenin... Smile a little smile and let your eyes shine brightly. Yes just like that.

Good. You know you have nice smile from good heart. Yes.

Chris.

Goodbyelennin, may I suggest    you change you site name , goodbye is always sad, Hello happiness, good bye loneleyness may lift you spirit looking like you have many people here who care for you. Hi Chris

Yo Mark !!

I have flight scheduled for 22 nd. May have to move back. Thru travel agent in Seattle China Town. Question: what works best for travel ? Water proof duffels ( rolling ) or suitcases ?
Have one carry-on in a Victoronix . for computer and pictures ( picy and delicate things ).
My clothing can go into a duffel bag if the clothes are not stolen.

Let me know your thoughts. I am getting a 90 day Visa. Hear a 12 month is in works. Why the hell is there not one ... Now !!

Oh a guy called YOGI in here thinks I am fool to hook up with Pharmacist/ Rubber farmer.
Mama is on Farm now waiting. Is out of Plaiku.

Any who lemme knot your thought on luggage Bro.
Cheers : Chris ... Oh ... Yes I wanna NAIL Mama !

We WILL  have baby ... If I can bang bang !!!!!

Hell yes.

hey Chris do you need clothes?  I mean save on the weight and buy local just take the basics    PS let's get back to Lenin!!!!