Friends

this is my first post my name is Moaaz i am 21 , i am writing this post right now and i am not sure if any one will reply , but i think  it's better to write what happening inside me instead of being alone in this world , hoping that i will find some friends to talk with , actually i don't know how to start but i will do my best .
have you ever felt that you are losing your future ?! i am going to start from my childhood , when i was young , everyone who know us ( Me and my family ) said that i am a clever boy and i will have a good future and good career , i used to be happy when i hear something like that and i put it in my mind that every one seeing me clever boy and i will be someone important  in the future,so every time my mom start to ask me me to study my homework's , the fastest answer i had is (( did you hear my teacher he/she told you that i am clever )) so don't ask me to do any thing i know every thing .
i am grow up and this idea still in my mind , but unfortunately i didn't do anything to be this person , i realized that i am wrong when i was in high school .
i started to study hard and my result wasn't bad , i decided to enroll engineering field so i went to some universities and made an application to one of them.
after two years in this university i was the first on my colleagues i decided to transfer my application to a better university , i went new one and they accepted my papers , but before 5 days from the beginning  of the semester  they phoned me and said that the ministry of education refused my  papers and when i asked why they told me that they haven't any idea .
it was like a big shock to me , i went to the ministry of education and i shocked again about what they said to me : they said that the university that i was in  is unsupported by the ministry . . and it isn't legal one ,  what?! how come ?! i was studying and pay the fees , they told me we have nothing to do and you should stay at home five years then you can begin  your study at open university , i told them that i want to study in a private university they answer even in private , there is no place will accepted you . i received this shock and i went  back to my home with hopeless mind
but i decided to complete my study abroad and the first university i apply for it accepted my documents , the asked me for ILETS certificate and these day i am studying for it my exam will be on 24 of April i hope that i will pass it i was have a problem in my self confidence  , to talk about my self and i wish that i will gain more friends to talk with them .